Blue Hair and Green Eyes - and some other not so normal things
by Cavallo Alato
Summary: Mariko is Tobirama's fiancée, a girl with blue hair and green eyes. Let's just say the Senju complex is already going crazy with a pregnant Mito, creepy Madara, poor Izuna who gets stuck in his older brother's plans, and Tobirama himself, a man who would rather stay out of all this. But that's okay, Mariko will drag him into it anyway. Series of short stories - Konoha chaos!
1. Icicles

Just a series of short stories (is that what I should call them?) centered around Tobirama and Mariko (my OC).

These might be weird...I kind of just rattle them off the top of my head, and then review them a little. (Please do tell if I have any major mistakes!)

Maybe it's because I'm tired, but wow, did I start rambling here. What's going on. What happened to the writing style that I rather liked in **Banana Bread & Cranberries **?!

Disclaimer: Senju Tobirama belongs to Kishimoto, because if I owned him, he and Hashi would've appeared _much, much more_, and Obito would be dancing the tango with Rin through the battlefield. Oh yes. And Kakashi, he would be so, so confused.

* * *

**Chapter 1:** **Icicles**

It was an unusually chilly winter in Konoha, and a light snowfall had graced the village with a white weekend. In a cheery, pleasant corner of Konoha, in a corner of the now-white Senju neighborhood, curled up in her bed, was Mariko, comfortably enjoying her sleep-in Saturday. It would've been enjoyable for all, had she not wrapped herself so intricately in the covers that Tobirama was now shivering at the other end, lacking a blanket.

The white-haired Senju glanced at his fiancée, this petite woman whom he was now glaring at with unpleasant, cold-and-snow-induced malice, and decided to ruin her sleep-in Saturday. Sure, he could've reached over and wrapped his arms around her for a snuggle—if Mito had seen his expression, she definitely would've told him that a snuggle was needed—but Tobirama was a strange one, and decided not to. Instead, he slipped his fingers under the edges of the sheets and pulled hard, so that Mariko was unwrapped with a roll and a bounce.

And a very amusing squeal, Tobirama might add. She tumbled to the far edge of the bed, nearly rolling off the end, but caught herself and turned to glare at her partner.

"What was that for?!" she exclaimed, taking a pillow and throwing it angrily at his face. Tobirama hastily ducked, allowing the cushion to flop past him and onto the ground.

"You stole the blankets," he answered simply. (You know, Tobirama, you could've solved this with a little snuggling, but _no_, you just had to roll her out…)

"Then take them back!"

"They were stuck under you."

"So?"

"You're heavy."

At this, Mariko's cheeks flushed—as they did quite often—and she shoved another pillow into his face, this time holding it in place and waiting for a muffled apology. She knew for a fact, with her small frame and slim figure, that she was _not_ at all heavy, and if Tobirama felt like it, he could easily hoist her up with one arm.

At this point, Tobirama's hand had shot out and grabbed an unsuspecting Mariko's ankle, and dragged her across the bed. He was getting a little annoyed by the pillow whacking him multiple times, but the expression on her face was too funny to pass up—cheeks puffed and lips pursed—so he just took it with a cynical arch of his eyebrows and a mocking smile.

"You're going to destroy the pillows," Tobirama said when the cotton pillowcase wasn't smacking him across the mouth.

"So?" Mariko answered again. She was just like a sassy teenager, seriously. Tobirama rolled his eyes and dodged the next pillow-thwacking, his shinobi skills kicking in so that he reflexively grasped her wrists, pressing them down beside her head as she lay on her back.

"Mito will have your head…for the pillows," he told her.

"That was the worst comeback I've ever heard."

"So?" Tobirama smirked. She tried kneeing him in the stomach, but she was effectively pinned down and couldn't move much.

"What time is it, anyway?" she demanded.

Tobirama glanced at the clock. "Seven. I think."

"That's way too early!" Mariko struggled in vain again. Tobirama wasn't even holding her down anymore; his sheer weight and size kept her stuck in one spot just fine.

It was then that they heard a strange clinking outside. The silhouette of a person passed alongside the window, and then disappeared as abruptly as it had come.

"With this snow, can you use your Ice Release to take out people?" Tobirama asked, though he seemed pretty distracted with her blue hair now, twirling it in his fingers.

"Well, I guess, but you know I'm not good with the Ice Release, right? As in, I can make…an ice popsicle, and that's it."

"Popsicle no jutsu? Amusing…is it flavored?" Tobirama's face was right next to hers now, and she flushed. Mariko tried to knee him again, but he just shifted his weight and forced her down.

"How about I make an icicle and throw it at you?" she threatened jokingly. He glanced at her and rolled his eyes.

"How about you make that icicle," he suggested, "and throw it at whoever's out there?"

It was way too early to do anything, according to Mariko-reasoning, but she got up anyway and snuck to the door with Tobirama. As soon as they came to the door, footsteps padded right outside and stopped in front of them. The two glanced at each other and opened the door a crack. (The worst it could be was an incredibly stupid Kiri nin or Saru trying to play a joke on them again).

"God rest ye merry gentleman," sang Izuna. He obviously had been pushed into place, seeing as the entire top of his head was wrapped and he was blind.

"Izuna. What are you doing?" asked Tobirama. There was a sinister cackling, and then the form of Madara could be seen with a small evergreen tree in his arms, dashing towards Hashirama's place.

"I don't really know," the Uchiha answered, shrugging. He gestured broadly over his shoulders in the direction Madara had gone. "Nii-san pushed me here, and since I don't know your place well, I'm sort of stuck."

"Your brother might die," Mariko told the black-haired man. Izuna nodded knowingly. Whatever Madara had planned, it was definitely not something Mito was going to be happy with, and then it would be _off with his head!_... or something disastrous like that. "Mito will have _his _head."

"He also cut down one of Hashi's trees." Izuna pointed this out very nonchalantly, but both Tobirama and Mariko blanched.

"Still got those icicles?" asked Tobirama, glancing down at Mariko.

"Right here." Mariko jogged outside further, and broke off the longest icicle she could reach.

Besides the seals and traps that the Senju would later set out to prevent crazy, trespassing Uchihas from entering—and mind you, Mito went all out on those seals, that even Kurama rolled his eyes from within her—wintertime was especially dangerous because there were deadly icicles courtesy of Mariko hanging from every building…

I'd run, Madara. And leave the tree.

* * *

I like how I went from rambling (by rambling, I mean sections that I don't know how to phrase, so I just go on and on and...) to writing about how Izuna suddenly showed up. Oh Izuna, you must've inspired me!

Yeahhh. Cavallo-Alato here really should be doing her European History homework, but does she ever feel like it? Noooo... =3=

Konoha history...would be fun. /shot


	2. Secret Sharing Session

Oooh chapter two! (Secret Sharing Session...try saying that three times fast. =_=)

_And_ it's election day! I'm getting distracted from watching the TV's updates and typing this up...when I really should be doing homework. (shhh)

Enjoy my rather arbitrary fountain of ideas...

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto - if it was mine, Konohamaru would be Gangnam Styling through the streets of Konoha.

* * *

**Chapter 2: Secret Sharing Session**

"And it was, like, _this big!_" Hiruzen measured out his description of the team's adventures to Mariko by spreading his arms wide, eyes and mouth wide open in a comical gape.

"That's impressive," Mariko noted, nodding seriously as the boy continued to describe how he had proceeded to cut down enemy forces with a vigorous new Katon jutsu he'd recently mastered. During all this, Homura rolled his eyes and Koharu scoffed, muttering under her breath about how it had gone nothing like that, and that Hiruzen's imagination ran too wild.

"And then Tobirama-sensei got stuck in a pinch, so I saved him!" Hiruzen planted his hands on his hips and grinned, nodding to himself.

"That's nothing near what happened!" snapped Koharu, frowning at her teammate. She was okay with Hiruzen letting his mouth run just a little, but Tobirama-sensei was a different subject all together. No one, besides Homura, knew that she still harbored a secret crush on their sensei. The one day poor Homura had discovered her little infatuation for their instructor, he had a near-death experience by the hands of Koharu, and from then on, wisely kept his mouth shut because he valued his life.

Hiruzen pouted, feigning hurt.

"Besides, Tobirama-sensei never needs saving." Koharu, satisfied with this, smirked condescendingly at her teammate. He may have been a strong, young shinobi, but Hiruzen was still the annoying brat she remembered. Koharu held the power in this team, and it was something she was proud of.

"I thought it would be interesting," Hiruzen retorted, his ego a little dulled by Koharu's lavish upon their sensei. "Besides, why are you always so focused on sensei?"

A sour, twanging chord had been hit, and Homura cringed inwardly at the barely noticeable flush that sprinkled Koharu's fair cheeks. She sputtered for a few seconds before resorting to a glare that would've melted a human, had it been someone besides Hiruzen.

Mariko had been following the conversation loosely, and when Koharu paused after Hiruzen's light, seemingly harmless question, the teeny blush on Koharu did not escape her attention. Smiling inwardly, she continued to watch the three, suddenly having an idea as to why Koharu mysteriously stared at her (or even seethed sometimes) when Tobirama brought her to their training sessions or held her hand (and especially when he felt daring enough to risk a modest kiss in front of the students).

"You shouldn't make fun of powerful ninja," Homura reasoned, hoping to come to Koharu's rescue. Mariko smiled at this; she had known for a time that Homura had a thing for his teammate, and was always trying to get on her good side. Homura, at the moment, just hoped that this would ward away any possible life-threatening situations again, despite still adoring the girl. (He would later develop an interest in the hotheaded redhead from Suna, a girl by the name of Chiyo who wore deadly toxins on her lips and spat out words twice as poisonous.)

"I'm not making fun of sensei," replied Hiruzen, casually pulling out a chair and sitting down at the table across from Mariko. There was a pause, and then the sound of an anguished stomach growling rumbled through the room. Koharu's irritation went up a few levels, but she was hungry as well, so she and Homura settled down at the table as well. It was around lunch time, then, and Mito had been preparing the meal.

"_Well_, it's not like sensei has _no _faults at all," Hiruzen pointed out. He arched a brow and winked at Mariko. "Mariko-san would know, right?"

Koharu was ready to let her tongue fly and defend Tobirama, but realized that she really had nothing good to get back at him with, so she bit her lip and waited to see what Mariko would say. It wasn't as if she was curious, or anything, she thought to herself.

"I know too much," Mariko told them, wrinkling her nose into a cute grin.

"Like?" prompted Hiruzen, leaning forward with interest. Mariko paused to consider for a few moments, wondering what she should share. On the spot, it was rather hard for her to think up anything particularly interesting.

"Well, he's very obsessive when he bakes, and will not hesitate to maim you with a spoon should you jeopardize his banana bread," she said.

"Spoon?" Homura piped up, a little incredulous. The mental image of his sensei cooking was already very strange, but Senju Tobirama wielding a spoon?

"Yes. He threw it, and it went straight through the wall." Mariko nodded gravely. Koharu vaguely wondered if she was just making it up, or if Tobirama could really do such a thing. It was ridiculous and actually rather impressive all at once.

"This is great," Hiruzen exclaimed, a tad too brightly. "This should be a secret-sharing circle! Like those things girls do at slumber parties…"

"I heard _secrets _and _sharing_, fill me in." Mito arrived at the table, sliding plates and utensils in front of them. They each took a good amount of the noodles that Mito had painstakingly made, along with the aromatic soup she'd brewed just for them (it was also Koharu's favorite, she remembered).

"We're sharing secrets," Hiruzen said, before slurping up some of his meal and earning an angry glare from Koharu again, accompanied by a slight tsk of her tongue. "Do you have any secrets, Mito-san? Of other people, I mean."

"So we're just gossiping?"

"Yes."

Mito smiled and appeared thoughtful for a moment.

"Here's one. Hashirama is extremely ticklish…on his feet." The Uzumaki smiled fondly at the thought, rather amused by her husband and his secrets. Hiruzen guffawed at this, and Homura choked on his noodles. Both earned a toe-stomping from Koharu, who put on an annoyed expression, though really, she was laughing her head off on the inside. The Hokage, ticklish?

Hiruzen mentioned something about Kagami and a fear of spiders, which sent his teammates into fits of hysterical laughter, Koharu especially. Homura told them that he once caught Danzo talking to a kitten outside the Senju complex and petting its head fondly, calling it "Meow-chan" as he scratched its ears.

"His name is Tenzou," Mariko brought up. "He looks like Hashi."

"He does?" Mito gave her sister-in-law a curious glance. "Hm. I guess he does, in a way. I can see it."

"Actually, I saw—" Koharu started.

"Hey," Hiruzen interrupted. "Do you have anything else on Tobirama-sensei?"

Had he asked a different question, Koharu would've taken any utensils present on the table and threatened him dearly, but Tobirama's name caught her interest, and now she paused to listen.

"Tobirama? Hmm." Mariko thought for a few seconds. "There was this one time I caught him looking through my stuff, and—"

"And what?" A deep, familiar voice from behind Mariko surprised them all (besides Mito, who had seen the white-haired Senju slip silently into the room).

Mariko squeaked—the boys found it quite endearing, a very cute noise—and her hands flew to her head, but was unable to keep her fiancé from ruffling her blue hair fondly. Tobirama leaned down and gave her a light peck on the forehead before turning to the rest of the people.

"Were you guys talking about me?" Now that Mariko was effectively silenced, and blushing rather fiercely as he rubbed her shoulders, Tobirama turned to his team. He didn't bother with Mito, knowing that the stubborn redhead would never open her mouth if she didn't want to. Hashirama already had a hard time with her, so he just stayed out of the way; he usually failed, though.

"No." Koharu spoke too soon, the single word coming out rushed and harsh. Tobirama arched an eyebrow at her. While the light pink on her face was hardly detectable, the two who knew what they were looking for saw it right away. Mariko's own blush lessened upon seeing Koharu wriggle a bit under Tobirama's gaze, and Homura just sighed inwardly. As he habitually pushed his glasses up his nose, he caught Mariko winking at him, and he knew that she knew that he knew that Koharu liked Tobirama. An untold secret shared during secret-sharing-session.

"Are you sure, Koharu? I could've sworn I heard this one—" Tobirama playfully pinched Mariko's cheek, "—trying to sell me out."

Mariko swatted his hands away. Hiruzen inexplicably wiggled his eyebrows at his mentor, to which Tobirama just rolled his eyes. Mito had once said something about how if he rolled his eyes too much, he would eventually roll them up to the side and they would get stuck there. Tobirama rolled his eyes at that.

"W-well…" Koharu stuttered, diverting her gaze shyly. For Tobirama, who was rather clueless, he pursued his question and thought the usually bold Koharu's hesitancy quite odd.

"I-It's not like I, uh, well," she continued stammering.

"Koharu, Kagami's cat got your tongue?" Hiruzen teased, flashing a toothy grin.

"Shut up, Hiruzen! You're getting on my nerves!" she snapped fiercely.

"And Kagami has been chased out, folks," Hiruzen concluded.

"Hey guys." Tobirama snapped his fingers impatiently. "I'm still curious to know what you were going to say about me."

"Well, it _definitely was not_ about that one time the cat in the yard jumped on your armor because he thought the fur collar was a squirrel," Hiruzen stated nonchalantly. Mariko made a strangled noise that sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

"That's not funny."

"At least I didn't tell them the one time you tried to bounce me off the bed, but instead bounced yourself off." Mariko smiled innocently. Oh, good times. He had had the most comical expression at that time…

"That's not funny either." Tobirama stared at her icily.

"Of course it's not," Mito jumped in. "It's only funny if you include at Uchiha. Like that one time Madara chopped down a tree and presented it to Hashirama as a representation of peace during New Year's."

"More like a declaration of war," replied Tobirama.

"At least you didn't see Kagami in a dress."

They all stared at Homura.

"What?"

* * *

Mariko was originally about to share the one time Mito mixed hair dye into his shampoo as revenge for spilling orange juice on her earlier that day, and he woke up with pink hair that she just couldn't bear to admit looked cute on him.

And Homura, _why did you say that?_ This is why Kagami tried to kill you, and made you a grumpy old counselor that could only squint at Uchiha all the time.


	3. Daddy or Papa?

I really need to go study for an exam... /shot

In any case, here's another chapter. Sorry if I'm not very interesting (sighhh). This is just whatever my brain spits out, so...tada!

HEADCANON: Sakumo's white hair explained. Well, they ended up not naming the kid Sakumo, but Tenzou (ohoho Yamato, your mysterious codenames appear everywhere!) is the first Hatake, and then so on, and so forth... /shot (in my head, of course) Because _everyone's a Senju_. =3=

Disclaimer: I obviously don't own it, seeing as Kakashi is not the great grand-child of Tobirama, and Obito has not yet demanded to know why Kakashi killed Rin... -runs away with the spoilers- and because for some reason, the Second Mizukage doesn't have a name...(yet?)

Oh! And Maddy made a nice appearance. Too bad he's trying to create a new world with his long-lost son. He even modeled his hair after his own. (I was begging Zetsu to cut it, but he just let Obito run amok like that... -shakes head-)

* * *

If Tobirama could choose one thing that bothered him the most about Mariko, it would be how cute she was to him. It bothered him simply because of the numerous ways it made him feel. He and her cuteness had an intense love-hate relationship. Mariko was adorable, yes, so much so that he felt the urge to scoop her up in his arms and plant a generous kiss on her lips. Or ruffle her hair, since he knew it annoyed her.

On the other hand, she was the cutest, most evil, manipulating girl you could find, if you let her. When he tried denying her something she wanted, out came the pleading eyes and the irresistible pout. Every time she pulled it out, Tobirama seethed on the inside, but such emotions were overwhelmed by a new urge to take the blue-haired bundle of cuteness in his arms. Sometimes he wanted to glare and ignore her, but Mariko was simply just impossible to ignore. She would bother him until he finally relented in the end.

So when Mariko laid in bed for an extra hour and a half staring at the ceiling, Tobirama noticed right away that something was up. It was a little disconcerting, seeing her lying in the tangled sheets, long blue hair spread around her like radial arms, silently and solemnly contemplating the ceiling.

"Something interesting?" he asked, hoping to provoke her into one of the smiles that he loved. Tobirama had long since gotten dressed and was ready to leave for a mission later that day with his team, but even after he had returned from grabbing a small breakfast in the kitchen, Mariko was still in the bed, staring at nothing.

"I guess," she answered nonchalantly, without acknowledging that he had settled next to her. Tobirama frowned. He had known her for six or so years now, and never once had she failed to blush, even very slightly, when he laid down next to her and rested a hand on her stomach. To his surprise, she even removed his hand and pushed it away.

"What's up with you today?" he demanded, propping himself up on an elbow.

"Nothing, really."

"I can see that," he noted, brushing away some of her hair that was tickling his face. "I was going to ask if you wanted to come on our mission today. It's really short."

"Don't you have to leave, then?" Mariko spared him a small glance, before returning to her seemingly important study of the ceiling. Tobirama noticed that she had deliberately drawn the blankets up to her chest, as if trying to hide or create a separation between them. At least, that's what he saw it as.

"We plan to leave around noon. It's an easy mission. So do you want to come with, or not?" This was tempting; if given the chance, Mariko rarely turned down a mission. She and Saru were the life of the party, especially on long walks.

"No thanks." Mariko rubbed her hands together. Tobirama frowned, surprised at this.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Are you sure this isn't a Hurricane thing?" he tried, pulling out the old jokes of her home country to get a reaction. Nothing.

Tobirama reached for one of her hands, only to find cold fingers and an icy palm. He asked if she was all right, but Mariko merely shrugged and offered a wan smile. Tobirama sighed, pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then headed out the door. He took one last glance at her, worried that she was sick or depressed, but left her to her own devices and set off for Konoha's north gate.

"Mito." After about an hour or so, Mariko had rolled out of the bed and padded her way over to the Senju main complex, where Mito was making lunch for her one son, a five-year-old a bit who was quite tall and gangly for his age, and reminded Mariko of the leggy colts that sprang across the paddocks during springtime back in Hurricane. He bore a striking resemblance to Hashi, with his brown hair and long limbs, but inherited Mito's round Uzumaki eyes and his mother's warm smile.

"Good morning, Mariko. I heard you slept in?" Mito smiled, gently swatting at the boy who was now skipping circles around her, singing about going to the village's new Ninja Academy.

"Sort of," Mariko said, gripping the sleeves of her jacket in her hands. Really, it was one of Tobirama's old sweaters that she had grabbed—she loved the ones with fur-lined hoods and the warm, fuzzy insides—and it had served to warm her up quite well. "I, um…I have a question."

"Go for it," Mito prompted.

"Do I look any different?"

Mito looked up at the girl, pausing in her determined cutting of the carrots, and gave her a quick study. Was she supposed to look any different? The little blunette was still as petite and blue-haired as she remembered, and nothing looked radically changed. The Uzumaki frowned for a moment. Mariko shifted uncomfortably, arms wrapping around her stomach, but waited patiently anyway. With Tobirama's too-large sweater which came down to almost her knees, Mito couldn't really see anything about the girl besides her face and legs. She seemed nervous, too, holding her stomach and glancing up and down anxiously. Then it hit her.

"Different?" she probed again, waiting to see if she was on the right track.

"Yeah, like…my figure?" Mariko's oddly pale face reddened a bit. Mito began to wonder if she was off by miles, and Mariko was just concerned about gaining weight.

"Mariko, how do you expect me to tell you anything when you're wearing _that_?" Mito gestured at Tobirama's dark blue sweater, and Mariko sheepishly tugged the article of clothing off. Nothing strange, there; just her regular blouse and leggings.

Mito now had to decide whether to continue on her hunch or on what seemed like a weight concern. As far as weight went, Mariko was usually fine…

So Mito followed her instincts and asked, "Have you felt anything weird?"

Mariko's blush deepened a few shades, and shook her head no. Mito smiled to herself, rather proud of her ability to deduct what Mariko was referring to.

"Have you come up with any names yet? Have you told Tobirama? When did you find out? You're not sick, are you? Did you confirm with a doctor? Toka has some great baby name books, don't ask me why—"

"No, no, no, no, no, and I'll ask her for it," Mariko answered, hands wrapped around herself a little self-consciously now. Yes, she was pregnant. No, of course she hadn't told Tobirama. If she had, Mito thought, then Tobirama would've exploded, and maybe a tornado, or maybe a hurricane, might be tearing down Konoha. And Konoha was nowhere near the Fire Country's ocean front. Exploded with joy, maybe? But besides that, Mito just kept rambling on and on.

"—this clan has an abundance of health and medicine scrolls, we'll take good care of you, I would know. Oh, and Hashi will be _so _delighted, and now my son will have a sibling, sort of, and _oh_, Tobirama will go _nuts_, you just wait. I bet he'll just stare at you and not understand a word you tell him. That's okay, though." Mito's uncharacteristically overwhelming talk was exciting and a little intimidating all at once. The redhead took Mariko by the shoulders, beaming. "You just wait, Mariko. This will be fun."

Mariko wondered just exactly what "fun" meant.

Hashirama glanced at his clock. It was nearly dinnertime, and Team Tobirama was due back in around an hour, and then he would turn in the simple mission report and come home for dinner. If he could cut down this pile of paperwork, then he might make it back as well. Hashirama set to his task.

He was a fourth of the way through his monstrous stack of files and reports when Mito slammed the door open, a fierce grin on her face. (This was the type of grin one could find on Uzumaki Kushina, in later years…) Behind her, she dragged Mariko, who shuffled awkwardly into his office. You would think that after six years, Mariko would become more outgoing and confident—which she did—but she still had a touch of child in her, and would become overwhelmed and a little bit clumsy (something Tobirama found irresistibly adorable, among many other things…).

"Something happen, Mito?" Hashirama asked, rather tiredly. The ink on the page in front of him had begun to blur into and endless stream of characters, and his furious blinking and coffee didn't do much to help.

"Yamato, Tenzou, or Sakumo?" she demanded. Hashirama replied with a perplexed arch of his eyebrow, mouth slightly agape, obviously confused by her strange outburst. When he continued to blink in befuddlement, Mito planted her hands on her hips and asked again. Since it seemed to be "which name?", Hashirama picked.

"Tenzou," he said, forcing it out steadily because if he hesitated, he knew Mito would pick at him until he was sure.

"Mei, Megumi, or Aiko?"

"Aiko," replied Hashirama. He was still very confused.

"See? I told you he would agree." Smiling, Mito turned to Mariko, nodding.

"Why am I choosing names, again?" Hashirama said, shaking his head. In answer, Mito triumphantly held up one of Toka's many baby-naming books and set it down on his pile of paperwork. Baby names? Hashirama hastily glanced over his wife; she didn't look pregnant, but was it possible…? He pondered for a moment, before he had that _aha! Tricky, tricky… _moment as well, and his eyes immediately flew to Mariko. By the looks of it, she had just found out and probably wasn't ready to tell Tobirama yet. How like Mito to force her into suddenly picking the child's name…

"So, are we naming my nephew or niece?" Hashirama smiled.

Tobirama came home to a devastatingly strong slap to the shoulder by a suspiciously happy Hashirama. His older brother just grinned and nodded at him, telling him things like "Congratulations" and a more ominous "get ready, dear brother". In the end, after being shoved around by Mito—and totally failing to notice the numerous baby-related things on the table—he was pushed back into his bedroom, where he found Mariko as he had left her: still on the bed.

Well, she was sitting up now, and fiddling with her fingers.

"What's with all this commotion?" he asked, rubbing his still stinging shoulder. Tobirama was used to getting battered and bruised after years on the battlefields of war, but he was sure that none of his enemies resorted to painfully good-natured slaps on the back at any point in time.

"News," she replied vaguely.

"I've been both congratulated and warned. What is this?" He definitely knew something was up, but didn't catch on as quickly as his brother or sister-in-law.

"How was your mission?"

"Don't change the subject." Tobirama rolled his eyes.

From outside, Mito groaned inwardly, but at the same time was giggling like a little girl. Hashirama wondered if Mito accidentally ate too much sugar somehow…

"Well?" Tobirama waited.

"Would you prefer our child called you Daddy, or Papa?"

Tobirama's eyes widened, and he stared at her for a good minute or so.

Outside, Mito was ready to burst out into a round of laughter, as was Hashirama, but the tall Senju clamped a hand over his wife's mouth and they continued peering through the crack in the door. Tobirama remained still, gaping at Mariko. It was rather amusing, Mariko's outright refusal to say something as plain as "I'm pregnant". She avoided the words very carefully…and instead, prompted Tobirama to confirm with her.

"Wait…you're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"You mean…we're having a child?"

"Yes."

"As in…a _baby?_"

"_Yes_."

—Mito snorted at this part, and Hashirama rolled his eyes. Sometimes Tobirama was just too funny…

"You mean to say that we are…" he trailed off and gave her a quick once-over (she sure didn't look like she was with-child) "…I'm a dad?"

"_You are a father_. End of story."

"I am a _father_." Tobirama smiled at this.

Mito wanted to bang her head against a wall at her brother-in-law's in-shock state of stupidity. Hashirama wanted to take a tree and hit it against his brother's head, but this was rather comical.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Tobirama exclaimed, though he was now obviously overjoyed and skipped a very unmanly circle around the room. He came back to squeeze his wife into a hug, kissing her with a smile, and then jumped around again.

"Because she was afraid that _you_ and your _big mouth_ would tell _us_!"

It was obviously a joke about Tobirama's big mouth—he was rather stoic in public—but the voice that the comment came from astounded everyone.

"Congratulations, Tobirama, can I be the babysitter?"

Uchiha Madara leaned against the open window, grinning away.

* * *

Somebody, take away the internet! (just kidding)

I need to do my studying, though.

OBITO. Please kamui this info into my brain, kay?


	4. Summer Homework

Hey, I'm back! Whoo.

Just a note, these stories don't go in any particular order, and don't follow a timeline. This one's more Hiruzen-centered than TobiMari. Haha, I'll get back to that soon. (Just like I should be writing essays about now... =3= )

This is based off that one Naruto SD episode where Rock Lee doesn't do his summer homework...that's basically what this is, just my twist on it from Hiruzen's time as a genin.

Note: I got a review! YES you made my day, thank you thank you, you are lovely ~

Disclaimer: Naruto/Naruto SD doesn't belong to me, because if it did, Tobirama would appear in Naruto SD, and (Uzumaki) Honoka would come to life and marry Aoba. (She's that supposed Uzumaki from the one random filler episode...I like her. :'D I now ship her and Aoba, yay.)

Oh, and more Omoi x Ringo. That one episode was sweet. No pun intended (on Omoi's life supply of lollipops...)

Team Toka is just an idea, not canon.

* * *

**Chapter 4: Summer Homework**

"I'm doomed." Hiruzen stared at the page in front of him. To be precise, it was page one of his summer work journal that he'd failed to keep up with. Koharu and Homura had easily recorded several week's worth of missions and daily happenings, including training, or just something random to fill in the day's entry. Hiruzen, being Hiruzen, of course, didn't bother to do it.

"I recall you yelling 'I can do this in a day! I don't need it now!' at the beginning of the summer," Homura noted, habitually pushing his glasses up his nose. Koharu sniggered, crossing her arms.

Hiruzen fretted, fingering his pencil and running his free hand through his hair. Tobirama-sensei would _kill _him.

"When's it due again?" he squeaked, voice rising a few octaves higher than usual. He winced; _that was attractive_, he thought dimly, taking a few breaths to calm down.

"Friday." Koharu smirked.

Today was Wednesday. So Hiruzen had about a day and then some to finish what he should've done throughout the entire summer. Seeing as it was a daily log, he concluded that he was indeed screwed over and Tobirama-sensei would have his head by the end of the week. On a platter.

"I'm doomed," he repeated helplessly.

"Good luck with that. I'm going out to lunch." Koharu patted her teammate on the back, amused by his situation, and sauntered out of the library. Hiruzen whimpered inwardly and stared at the deadly entry log, a simple, standard notebook with flimsy metal rings and a blue plastic cover. He hadn't even written his name on it yet.

"Homura, what do I do?" he whined, rolling the pencil back and forth dejectedly. Homura sighed, pulling his nose out of the book he'd used to distract himself from his teammate's dilemma.

"Well," Homura said, thoughtful for a moment. For a few seconds, he considered actually helping Hiruzen, but then again, nothing good would really come out of it, and Hiruzen would forget to return the favor anyway. Besides that, he agreed with Koharu—they needed something amusing to start off the fall season. "I don't really know."

"But Homura, you know…_everything_!" exclaimed Hiruzen, before a librarian whipped her evil eye on them and shushed the boys. "Help me, please!" the Sarutobi continued in a desperate whisper. "I'll do anything, really!"

"Anything, huh? You'll just end up forgetting it or not doing it at all. You're good at weaseling out of it like that." Homura tucked his bookmark into his novel, pushed his sliding glasses up the bridge of his nose, and stood up.

"I won't, I swear!"

"I don't buy it. See you later, Hiruzen." Homura pushed in the chair and walked away. Dismayed, Hiruzen hassled over whether to stay and somehow figure out how to make a convincing daily description of everything he did over the summer—seriously, a _daily entry?!_ He couldn't even remember what he did yesterday!—or to chase after Homura and tackle him (or tickle him) until he gave in. After all, Hiruzen knew one deadly secret about Homura that the boy couldn't bear to part with…

Deciding on the latter, Hiruzen bolted away from the table, despite the librarian's pissed off remark, and dashed through the aisles. He hoped that Homura hadn't gotten far, seeing as the bespectacled boy had only departed from the table less than a minute before Hiruzen. Somehow, Homura walked at the speed of the Flying Thunder God, because he was nowhere to be found, and Hiruzen was hopelessly lost in the great aisles of the library anyway.

Swearing to himself, Hiruzen turned right and ambled among the bestsellers' shelves, glazing over the masses of titles he didn't really recognize or care about. It was only when he paused to look at a book including the words "Monkey King" that he noticed someone browsing novels on the other side. Immediately, he recognized the sapphire blue hair and the petite figure of Mariko, Tobirama-sensei's wife. (Though, in all honesty, "wife" seemed like a title for an older woman, and Mariko still looked like a "fiancée" in a way…)

"Mariko-san!" Hiruzen suddenly shouted, slamming his hands against the frame of the bookshelf. To his horror, the blue-haired girl yelped as a wave of book came crashing down on her side, burying her in a flurry of pages and text. "Mariko-san!" wailed Hiruzen, scrambling around the aisle to where he was.

Apparently everyone around the library moved at the speed of light, because the librarian was already at Mariko's aid. The portly lady scuttled over and helped Mariko out of the paperback avalanche, shooting a menacing glare at Hiruzen.

"Are you all right, miss?" she asked as she began scooping books into a cart. Hiruzen wondered when the cart had gotten there, but before he could think further, the glare was back on him again.

"I'm fine, thank you. I'm so little, I get stuck often!" Mariko laughed, brushing herself off. Indeed, she was smaller in size, but the stout bookkeeper with her crazy bun and squinty eyes was so plump and condensed that she was even shorter than Mariko. In the height department, she was certainly smaller, but Hiruzen couldn't say the same for the other direction. Mariko's waist was about twenty times smaller, Hiruzen supposed.

"And you!" the librarian seethed, pointing a gnarled finger at Hiruzen, who drew in his breath sharply. He'd gotten off track with his arbitrary train of thought, but now he was certainly in a pinch. "You've been troublesome all day! This morning you spilled food all over the place, even though food isn't even allowed in here! Just now, you were yelling with your friends, then you _ran_ through the library, and now look what you've done!" The fleshy lady paused to catch her breath, meaty jowls quivering. Hiruzen winced. "You created a disaster and nearly buried this young lady!"

"I'm fine, really," Mariko offered, but was ignored.

"Hey, I'm really sorry, ma'am, but—"

"In fact, look at the danger you put others in! What if this lady was seriously hurt?! Do you know the trouble you'd be in, young man?! Who is your sensei? I demand your name and his at once. I'll report you as soon as I get the chance." The librarian whipped out a pencil and notepad out of nowhere. Hiruzen wondered if she kept hidden compartments in the folds of her bosom, or something. "Name and teacher. Now."

"Sarutobi Hiruzen's the name," he sighed. The woman clicked her tongue, as if he had even stated his name incorrectly, or rudely in some way. "My teacher is Senju Tobirama-sama."

The woman looked up at him abruptly, squinting her already narrowed eyes. She gazed intensely at him through her pointy spectacles, nose wrinkling up in distaste.

"Really, now? Hokage-sama's brother? Well, this should be interesting then."

"Hey, hey, don't give Tobirama-sensei a bad reputation. This is all me, okay?"

"All you? You should've been trained better. See what you did to this lady?" The librarian pointed at Mariko, who was still awkwardly standing beside them. She shot Hiruzen a sympathetic glance, and then, surprisingly, a wink.

"I'm sorry, really." Hiruzen did his best attempt to look sheepish.

"Miss, I apologize for this boy's brash actions, would you like anything, anything at all?" The librarian offered Mariko dozens of things: half price sales, bestsellers for free, recommendations, extra library passes, etc. "If you'd like, I can give you the name of this boy and his teacher, and you can go report him as well. He certainly needs it."

The woman offered Hiruzen's name, and Hiruzen smothered a snicker. He didn't cover up so well, because the woman whipped him another hole-burning glare.

"It's fine, nothing bad really happened," Mariko explained. "Actually, I know him."

"Do you? Even better! This is his sensei." The woman pointed out Tobirama's name on her handy-dandy notepad. "You know Tobirama-sama, right?"

"Err…Yes, I do."

Hiruzen pictured Mariko slapping her palm to her face in his head. She was probably doing it mentally, judging from the exasperated expression on her face. The librarian failed to notice.

"Oh, of course you do! Everyone knows Tobirama-sama. Well, just in case, he's real tall and has white hair and three red triangle-shaped tattoos on his—"

"Ma'am, he's my husband."

The librarian's mouth opened and closed a few times, like a fish out of water. She gaped at Mariko, narrow eyes opening up wide. Her hands fluttered around her face, panicky, before she nearly lost her grip on her notepad and had to hastily shove it into wherever it was that she kept it.

"Oh… oh dear," she stuttered. "I'm sorry, I didn't know…In any case, this boy should be reprimanded, though."

Mariko ignored the woman's nervous breakdown, and smiled pleasantly.

"It's fine." She turned to Hiruzen. "Saru, Mito wants to know if you and Danzo would like to have lunch and do some extra scroll studies this afternoon."

"Um…can I get back to you on that one? I've got something I have to finish…badly," Hiruzen told her, shrugging. The expression on his face—sort of panicked, and sort of frustrated, with a touch of exasperation—indicated that he was currently in the middle of one of his usual predicaments, and needed a while to work his way out of it.

"No problem. The lunch offer still stands, though," Mariko replied, nodding.

"Thanks," Hiruzen answered. He ducked past both his sensei's wife and the librarian, exiting at what he believed to be Flying Thunder God speed, fleeing the library in record time.

"Hey Saru," Tobirama said on Saturday morning, flipping through the three journals he'd received the day before, "Interesting journal. I like it."

"You do?" Hiruzen grimaced inwardly, ignoring his teammates' giggles. On Friday morning, Kagami had found the poor boy slumped over on a park bench, journal in hand, missing only three more days. The Uchiha decided to bestow a bit of rare Uchiha kindness upon Hiruzen, gently waking him up rather than cackling in his ear and stealing the journal for his little brother to tear apart.

"Hey, man, get up. Isn't that due today?" Kagami shoved Hiruzen in the shoulder. (Okay, not so gently…)

"Kagami? Is that you?" Hiruzen stirred, slurring his words so that they sounded more like _Gagami, id dat you?_ The Uchiha rolled his eyes and slapped his own journal in Hiruzen's face.

"Yeah, it's me, you idiot. Unlike you, I didn't pull an all-nighter." Kagami cheerfully flipped through his own journal. He leaned in closer and whispered, "Though it's okay. I did this two days ago, because Torifu reminded me." He winked conspiratorially.

"That's just like you," Hiruzen muttered, smiling. He'd borrowed Kagami's notebook to check some dates last night, but he got the feeling that it was a rush job as well.

He nodded his thanks, and Kagami waved, setting off with his smug Uchiha swagger. Hiruzen thought about Kagami's team, amused. With Toka at their head, the consequences of not having the journal were probably worse than what Tobirama would come up with, unless the two were plotting against them together in the secret chambers of the Senju complex.

The day before, he'd skipped out on a meal including Mito's world-class Uzushiogakure recipes to scramble through the activities of each day. He referenced lots of friends to make sure he got some of the days accurately. So-and-so's birthday had been in July, Hashirama-sama and Mito-sama celebrated their anniversary earlier in June, yadda yadda, Biwako had forced him into getting ice cream with him on that one Saturday at the beginning of August…

"Anyway, I find some of the earlier ones interesting too," Tobirama continued, flipping through Hiruzen's book. "I appreciate the effort, Saru, but a lot of these don't match up."

"At least I did it."

"That's true." Tobirama flipped to July 7th. "I like how you put Mariko's birthday here, but do you remember what we did the next day?"

"I think?"

"You wrote that you wrestled with Danzo by the creek," Tobirama read from the flimsy notebook. "But actually, according to Homura and Koharu, we left for a mission just outside the village that day."

"Okay, so I forgot some days to record it." Hiruzen shrugged helplessly. He'd referenced with Homura and Koharu, but he'd obviously rushed too much. They'd already been kind enough in lending him a few hours with their notebooks.

"Besides that, I find the second and third weeks of August rather…amusing," the white-haired Senju continued.

Hiruzen froze. He now recalled, ironically enough, that he'd been especially sleepy while writing his way through those two weeks, and that was about where he'd stopped writing, and where he began finishing up Friday morning just an hour before he turned it in with his teammates. By then, Koharu and Homura had reclaimed their notebooks, and Hiruzen went in search of Team Toka, where he took Danzo's by force, and then Torifu and Kagami (surprisingly enough, considering his personality) tossed theirs on his table too.

"Amusing?" Hiruzen echoed innocently.

"Yeah. August 8th. '_We picked out some slugs and stuck them in Torifu's soup, but it turned out we had actually put them in Toka's soup, and it turned out…real ugly. At least the people in the Tea Country are rather understanding of travelers.' _Saru, you didn't go to the Tea Country, as far as I know, and this is clearly a Team Toka entry." Tobirama arched an eyebrow at the sweating teen.

"Oh, really?"

"August 17th." Tobirama smirked at the page, and Hiruzen froze. What in the world had he written in his sleepy stupor? The third week of August, he thought. That was around when he found Mariko with one of her Hyuuga friends hanging out in the town center, where he'd gone for a short snack. Had he asked her for something? He must've, because he put down whatever he heard…Oh great.

"What about it?" squeaked Hiruzen, voice hitching again.

"_'Tobirama tried picking apples off the tree when we visited the orchard, but he was so tall that all the apples and branches just hit his head. He blamed me for kicking the tree, so I just climbed up a really tall one and hid there. Eventually, I got stuck, and Hashirama had to fish me out with his Mokuton.'_ Saru, this was a family trip, why do you have it?"

"Uh…It was story time?"

"_'And then someone tried to steal my hair, and Mito pulled out what looked like a bitch-slap no jutsu and sent the guy flying.' _I'm not sure where that came from, but you obviously don't have hair worth stealing." Tobirama rolled his eyes. "You could've made this a bit more convincing by writing about Mariko in the third person, rather than like this. You weren't there, and you aren't Mariko."

"Hey, I tried."

"Yeah, you did. You tried really hard," Tobirama agreed. "And because of that, I'll reward you."

This reward sounded awfully suspicious, and Hiruzen didn't like it one bit.

"Let's join Toka's team, shall we?"

"I swear, this is Sarutobi's fault," Kagami hissed as he did another five push-ups. Despite his shinobi conditioning, even the genius Uchiha's arms were beginning to fail after 200 out of 1500 push-ups.

"How is this my fault?" panted Hiruzen, pausing to let his sore arms take a break.

"I don't know, but it is! Why are we the only ones doing this!"

"How would I know?!"

"You two are idiots." Danzo sat on a tree branch, swinging his legs idly. Actually, he'd been tied there, and was stuck for the day, while Torifu was tied to the trunk of the tree, a tray of tantalizing roast beef set in front of him, out of reach. Meanwhile, Homura had been sent to run 20 laps around the village, because he had the worst stamina ever, and Koharu had disappeared with Toka. None of the boys wanted to know what happened to her, because the look on Toka's face was beyond evil.

"You're an idiot," retorted Hiruzen, panting as he started push-up number 298.

"Well, if it weren't for you, we wouldn't be stuck here."

"At least you don't have to do this!" Kagami snapped, continuing on push-up 312.

"I'm stuck to a tree."

"I'm stuck to a tree and I can't eat!" Torifu exclaimed. The rather placid boy was fretting, and his stomach rumbled audibly.

"This is what we get for helping Sarutobi," Kagami sneered, elbows quaking. Glancing sideways, he watched Hiruzen continue to do his push-ups diligently, and refused to lose.

"I wonder what Koharu's doing," Hiruzen said between pants. They all knew that Homura was running laps, because every forty-ish minutes, he would pass by. After a while, he only came every hour or so. They'd been only going for three hours.

"I don't want to know," everyone answered.

"Hello, Koharu, welcome to the Senju complex." Toka smiled. "This is my baby niece. You're going to take care of her until the boys are done."

Koharu swore the little girl just threw a fireball at the wall, which dissipated before it set anything on fire. The Senju and their crazy abilities. This girl was what, four years old? Koharu winced, because she was never really girly, and she couldn't handle dealing with kids.

"Have fun," Toka said, turning to leave. As soon as the door closed, Koharu approached the little girl and tried her best to be friendly, asking her name and introducing herself.

A fireball singed her eyebrows.

* * *

Pshh that ending. I apologize if this story was sort of boring...or just random.

I don't know what happened.

The fireball spitting baby at the end was just something that popped up in my mind, just to torture Koharu. I'm sure that fireballs remind her of Uchiha, and Uchiha makes her think of Kagami, and Kagami is...Kagami, so she gets annoyed. I have this weird idea that Homura has terrible stamina, sort of like myself (-sweatdrop-) and he was forced to run.

The punishments in general were just "YOUTH-IS-AN-EXPLOSION-MAITO-GAI-TIME" sort of thing. lol.


	5. Big Brothers and Baby Sisters

These are really long, recently...I'll go back to shorter short stories :'D

Anyway, traveling in time again! Back to before the wedding, and Aokami Katsurou, the second eldest brother of Mariko's family, does a surprise visit! Haha, this one I sort of slacked on, but it got hard to finish... (me and my plots...eternal enemies XD). I am the Naruto to my Plot's Sasuke. Well, more like the Shikamaru to the Plot's Hidan, or something, because I'm so extremely lazy.

Thanksgiving Break, and I'm not doing my homework...till tomorrow. lol.

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, but chapter 610 was really amusing. Obito and Madara call each other childish. lol.

If I owned Naruto, the Juubi wouldn't be so ugly, and Rin would appear as an angel. Oh, and Hashi, Mito, Tobirama, and all these old Konoha characters would appear five times more than they do.

* * *

**Chapter 5: ****Big Brothers and Baby Sisters**

Aokami Katsurou was a tall guy. Tall, muscular, and…tall. He was the completely opposite of his youngest sister Mariko, a small girl who was dwarfed by the rest of her family. Sometimes Katsurou teased that he'd stolen all the height genes and left none for her (despite the fact that the one sister between them was of medium height, and their oldest brother wasn't that much shorter than Katsurou as well). On the other hand, it seemed like the Aokami's blue hair had plenty of genes to pass around, seeing as all four children inherited the same thick azure hair.

Katsurou shed his jacket; the Fire Country's climate was very pleasant, warm and inviting. It was a nice break from the Frost Country's chilly atmosphere. He folded his jacket over his arm, but kept his hat on. It was a thinner winter cap, the kind that had flaps over the ears and a yarn ball of fuzz at the top, strings hanging down the sides. It had been a gift from his wife, the daughter of the Frost's daimyo.

"Hello, sir, welcome to Konoha!" A cheerful shinobi waved from a check-in desk alongside the main gate of the village. "Please check in, here!"

"Sure thing." Katsurou quickly filled out a few visitor forms, and then set off into the village. The hidden villages may have been relatively new establishments, but Konoha looked as if it had been there forever. The buildings and the people seemed as if they had settled down for a while now, almost merged with the land and its distinctive Fire Country taste. Boisterous children ran through the streets, followed by stressed mothers, and street vendors yelled at the little ones when some of their products tumbled off the stands.

A few younger shinobi were seen among the adults, a few proudly wearing new chuunin flak jackets, while others had just the hitai-ate.

"I'm telling you, he summoned a monkey!" one of them yelled, waving his hands.

"Yeah right," another sneered, and the group giggled. Katsurou watched as a few of the genin began to argue, and chuckled to himself. Venturing further into the city, he found that as lunchtime approached, the streets became more and more crowded. Soon, he found himself weaving through heavy traffic, nearly bowled over by a donkey whose cart driver brashly tried pushing through the people.

"Get your ramen here, right here, best ramen in Konoha!"

"_Fresh_ takoyaki, takoyaki here, best _in the Fire Country_!"

"Ramen, ramen! It's lunch time people, get some ramen!"

Restaurants began sending employees outside into the chaos to advertise, screaming their lungs out. The poor things.

"I told you, I don't want ramen!"

"Aw, c'mon! Just once, eat with the team!"

A group of three wiggled through the bustling crowd and into the ramen shop. Katsurou took a glance at the noodle house and decided to give Konoha's best ramen (supposedly) a try. He sat down on a stool, and was immediately waited on. After he chose a mild dish, he absently twirled a pair of chopsticks in his fingers, listening in on the children.

"Seriously, Kagami is _so_ annoying," said the brown-haired kid. He rolled his eyes and swung his legs back and forth, spinning his stool.

"Hiruzen, that's because you're annoying too," the one girl replied. She shot a leg out to stop his incessant spinning, and he scowled.

"Hey, Koharu, at least I join in during team lunches!" Hiruzen returned. Meanwhile, the third boy, a dark-haired one with glasses constantly slipping down his nose, sat quietly behind the other two. He seemed perfectly content to stay in the background, out of the conversation.

Katsurou smiled. It was nice to see energetic young people. Konoha had a nice generation of young ninja.

"Well, I don't like ramen that much. I'm only coming this one time."

"You wouldn't come even if Tobirama-sensei was here?" Hiruzen pouted. Koharu blushed visibly and shoved him off the stool, before shooting the third boy a venomous glare, as if he'd done something wrong. The bespectacled boy shrank backwards, suddenly terrified.

"Why would Tobirama-sensei being here make me want to eat ramen more?" she snapped, crossing her arms.

"I dunno, maybe because he's cool like that? We do what sensei says, you know?" Hiruzen held his hands up defensively when he saw Koharu's hands come up, as if to punch him.

The girl visibly calmed down, composed herself, and turned away from Hiruzen with a dignified humph. They waited patiently for their ramen to come, oblivious to the eyes of other customers watching them either with annoyance, or amusedly.

Katsurou had been thinking; the name of their sensei seemed familiar, rang some bells in his head. Seeing as his only connection to Konoha was his sister, he assumed that this Tobirama was part of the family—the Senju clan—she married into. Well, was going to, anyway. The wedding was in about six months, as far as he knew.

"Hey, you three," he called. The trio whipped around, surprised at the stranger's call. "You know Tobirama?"

"Yeah, he's our teacher!" Hiruzen said proudly, grinning at the man. He studied the stranger for a moment, not recognizing him. Judging from his clothing, it seemed he wasn't from Konoha either. "Are you a tourist?"

"Yeah, first time in Konoha," Katsurou explained.

"Tobirama-sensei is the Hokage's brother," said the third boy, the quiet one. Katsurou watched him frantically try to clear his glasses of steam when his ramen was placed in front of him. Besides that, he was now sure that Tobirama was a Senju. The Hokage's brother? That meant Tobirama was his future brother-in-law. How fun.

"Homura, I think everyone knows that." Hiruzen rolled his eyes, and Katsurou sighed inwardly. Everyone besides Katsurou, apparently. He didn't pay attention to the little details when he heard that his baby sister was getting married. It was too fast for him—it meant he was getting old. Being six years older than Mariko, he felt like he was entitled to some protectiveness. Actually, any brother should feel protective of their sister, right? Well, at least that was Katsurou's idea. With his other younger sister, Sumiko, he'd felt less capable of actually protecting. If given the chance, Sumiko would whoop his ass easily.

"Well, it's always nice to know," Katsurou noted, nodding. Hiruzen then began an elaborate description of how they were the best team of genin, and how Tobirama was so proud of them, and how they were going to take the new chuunin exams soon, and how lucky the current chuunin were that they had just been promoted without exams, yadda, yadda, this and that.

"Hey, that's real interesting," Katsurou told him, smiling as he finished up his ramen. The ramen was, in fact, very delicious. The Aokami left a decent tip with his payment.

"We're going to go training this afternoon. If you find your way to the training grounds, you can see real shinobi in action!" Hiruzen assumed that the stranger was just a regular human being who would enjoy watching the epic battles of ninja.

"Sounds great," Katsurou said. "Nice meeting you three. I'm Katsurou, by the way."

"Nice to meet you too, Katsurou-san!" Hiruzen shook his hand, flashing his mischievous grin again. "Where are you from?"

"I'm from the Frost Country."

"Is it cold there?"

"Very." Katsurou tipped his head, then walked outside.

* * *

A few hours later, the blue-haired man was sauntering along the sidewalk that ran beside the training grounds. Konoha really was a nice place, grassy and green, unlike the frozen tundra of Frost. Well, not all parts of Frost were that cold, but plenty of it consisted of icy fields. One hour outside the capital, and wham! Glaciers!

A tall, white-haired man, presumably Tobirama, was coaching the team of genin. Katsurou recognized the bun on Koharu's head and Homura's dark-hair and his sulking position. He leaned on the fence and watched the team scatter into different positions, drawing their weapons and facing off against their teacher.

Tobirama had noticed the man long before he'd even come into sight, but so far, he seemed harmless. Occasionally, people came to watch shinobi practice and train, but Tobirama always kept an eye on them. He still remembered that one time when a crazy guy hopped the fence and tried to kill Toka, for what reason, they had no idea. From then on, they had been wary of random foreigners traveling alone.

In the meantime, the Senju dodged a few kunai that Homura sent his way. He countered Koharu's low-level earth-shaking jutsu with a geyser that split open the ground and soaked all three of them. Tobirama leapt out of the way, watching as his students scrambled for the trees.

All of a sudden, a movement caught the corner of his eye. It wasn't from the man wearing that hat at the fence; in the opposite direction, a head of blue hair came bobbing his way.

"Quick, he's distracted!" snapped Koharu. Homura and Hiruzen body-slammed into their sensei, knocking him off his feet. The astonished look on Tobirama's face made Hiruzen snort with laughter, watching his teacher tumble a few yards before deftly rolling to his feet.

"Tobirama!" the blue-headed bobbing figure called. Mariko stopped in front of them, panting slightly from her run. She waved a document in his face. "Read it."

"Mariko, you're distracting our lesson," Tobirama said.

"I know, I just saw you wipe out." Mariko grinned, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "I certainly didn't distract Hiruzen and co."

"We're on top of our game," Hiruzen blurted proudly, grinning widely. Tobirama glowered, taking the scroll with a defiance just short of snatching it, and pulled it open. As he skimmed over it, Mariko asked how the team was doing. By then, Koharu had joined them, and they were giggling at Tobirama's muddy outfit.

"We're doing great. We one-upped Tobirama-sensei," continued Hiruzen. Koharu, for once, agreed, and Homura nodded. They then realized that the man in the hat had slid over the fence and was casually making his way towards them. Immediately, all three…well, Koharu and Homura, were on the defensive, fingers sliding towards their weapons pouches. His approach was a sign that he might be after Mariko, who had just appeared.

Hiruzen was still carefree, and lit up with recognition.

"He came after all! We met him at the ramen shop," he explained to Mariko. "I forgot his name, though…"

"What's he doing?" Tobirama had let the scroll roll itself shut, handing it back to Mariko who tied it with a string.

"I don't know, but we're watching him." Homura already had a kunai in each hand, poised readily. There was still quite some distance, but he was steadily making his way towards the small group, but he didn't seem to notice or care that all of them were staring at him.

"Pretend like you don't notice him, let's see what he wants," Koharu suggested. She pretended to battle Hiruzen, who lightly blocked her strikes. Homura pushed his glasses up his nose and assisted Koharu against Hiruzen, who complained about unfair sides. Tobirama kept his eye on the man.

Katsurou was astonished to see his little sister jogging out to the field, long hair flying behind her wildly, like a horse's long tail in the wind. He decided now was a good time to visit, seeing as the next chance to see her was during the chaos that was an Aokami's wedding. Sliding over the fence, he pulled his jacket on and sauntered towards the group.

What sort of surprise would _really_ surprise her? He watched the sparring students, and a thought popped into his head. What if I attacked her?

Katsurou understood that this was the most idiotic idea ever, seeing as they might think he was a threat and try to take him down, but he supposed he could hold his own until he was recognized and his baby sister screamed something like "Katsurou, you stupid!", hopefully.

He pulled a kunai from his pocket.

"Heads up," Koharu warned, seeing the glint of a weapon in the man's hand.

"Aw man, and I thought he was pretty cool!" Hiruzen whined, before pressing his hands together in the tiger seal. He immediately blew a fireball at Katsurou, who dodged it and continued towards them at his leisurely pace. "I thought he wasn't a shinobi, too."

"You can never tell," Homura sighed, throwing a few shuriken. They clanged off the man's kunai, useless.

"He's not stupid, guys," Tobirama emphasized. "Suiton: Suishouha."

A hurricane of water swirled around them and rushed at Katsurou, who paused for a moment, staring at the typhoon that rose above them. This was the jutsu Hiruzen called the Mighty Toilet Bowl, despite Tobirama's exasperated face and Koharu's objections.

Katsurou formed four seals: _Bird, Dog, Dragon, Horse._

"Hyoton: Kori Kuroru!" He let the wave crash into him, but his jutsu quickly froze it until Tobirama broke off his end and leapt out of the freezing vortex.

"Ice style?" he muttered to himself, backing up. The man had a kekkei genkai, putting his team at a disadvantage. He glanced at Hiruzen, who had formed a few seals and was blasting fire at the mass of ice now. "Keep that up, Saru. Koharu, go left, Homura, go up the ice."

Tobirama sprinted to the right, behind the melting ice. Homura had some difficulty, seeing as he had to dodge Hiruzen's badly aimed fireballs and climb up the slippery ice, but he made it over the peak and started towards Katsurou. Koharu threw a few of her senbon needles, but again, Katsurou's kunai deflected them, despite the thin senbon being nearly invisible.

"He's good," Koharu said under her breath.

"Suiton: Daibakufu no Jutsu!" A huge wave cascaded down on Katsurou in one hit, Tobirama following the water to close in on him. Suddenly, the water froze again, and Katsurou leapt out, countering Tobirama's kicks. Up close, the Senju saw that the stranger was very tall, and very muscular. He was nearly thrown aside when he let his guard slip. Katsurou was no slouch, and punched down hard. The entire sea of ice shattered under his fist as he missed Tobirama, who distanced himself cautiously.

"Hyoton: Kori no Mai." Katsurou began weaving seals, but the team was intent on stopping him. However, he finished, and huge spikes of ice began sprouting from the ground. The genin yelped and fled backwards, behind the now diminished wall of ice. Katsurou froze a gauntlet of ice around his left wrist, then shaped a bow attached to it, pulling a few ice arrows out of thin air. The arctic crossbow glinted chillingly in the afternoon sunlight.

Mariko recognized all of the jutsu immediately, but couldn't interfere as Tobirama forcefully put her behind them, and the team leapt into formation. When the cloaked man drew his ice bow, she was sure: It was Katsurou's "Ice Arrow".

Though not as adept at using Ice Release, or high-level jutsu in general, Mariko gave it a try. Katsurou aimed straight at her and let his first arrow fly. There was a shout from Hiruzen's side, and Tobirama's eyes went wide as the surprisingly light structure shot past him.

"Hyoton: Hyoryuu no Shippo!" Ice Dragon's Tail. The so-called tail was really a sword, and Mariko swung the blade at the arrow, successfully shattering it. She took off straight ahead, reaching Katsurou and swinging defiantly at him. She wasn't very effective, but she snagged the end of his yarn hat and it fell off.

"Gotcha!" Hiruzen appeared from above, weaving his seals for a fire jutsu again. When the hat came off and revealed a head of sapphire hair, he faltered, and Katsurou ducked out of the way.

"Hyoton—"

"Katsurou, you idiot!"

With his gaze focused on Hiruzen, he'd missed Mariko's quick maneuver to his side, and she kneed him in the stomach.

"Geez, Mariko!" he exclaimed, doubling over. Team Tobirama stared at them.

"Mariko?" Tobirama asked hesitantly. "You know him?"

"Do I know him? Do _I know him_?" Mariko put her hands on her hips. "Of course I know him! He's my brother!"

Team Tobirama stared. Each of them looked from Katsurou's bright blue hair, to Mariko's matching tresses, and back. Even their hairstyles were similar, and their eyes were exactly the same color.

"Hello there. I decided on an interesting entry," Katsurou said, laughing lightly. He waved at Tobirama, standing up. He secretly delighted at the fact that he could look down on his baby sister's fiancé. Tobirama was not a small man, which made Katsurou very, very tall. "So you're by precious baby sister's fiancé? Nice to meet you, future brother-in-law. Hopefully." He grinned brutally.

Hiruzen gaped, and then sniggered.

"Nice to meet you. I assume you're…Katsurou, then?" Tobirama shook hands with the Aokami.

"And you must be Tobirama. Nice to meet you as well." Katsurou cleared his throat, and smiled again. "If you hurt my little sister or break her heart, I will make you wish you were never born, Mr. Tobirama."

"I understand," Tobirama said flatly. Hiruzen continued staring, and now Homura and Koharu were crowding around him.

"And if you taint my baby sister's purity, I will also put you in a world of hurt," Katsurou added.

At the word "purity", Hiruzen stifled an extremely loud snort of laughter. Katsurou turned slightly to look at him, while his teammates winced. If Hiruzen had been about to say "what purity?", the world would never know, because his two teammates clamped their hands over his mouth urgently.

Katsurou turned back to Tobirama, who subtly glanced at Mariko. He looked stoic, but Mariko knew better; he was secretly frantic on the inside and was freaking out, looking to her for help. He didn't show it though, of course.

Mariko ambled up to them and wrapped her arms around Tobirama, smiling up at her tall older brother.

"It's okay, Bakakatsurou, Tobirama's a good guy," she reassured him. Katsurou sighed at his old nickname.

"As long as he makes you happy," he replied to his sister, patting her on the head. Hiruzen tried not to snort again, because the action looked ridiculously similar to what Tobirama often did to Mariko. It was often that they saw their sensei ruffling his fiancée's hair lovingly.

"He does," Mariko answered happily. Katsurou glanced at Tobirama.

"I'll see you at the wedding."

_If you last that long._

* * *

The jutsus that aren't Tobirama's (all the Ice Release) are my own random creations.

I just strung words together...or based them off Gray Fullbuster's moves. Like the sword. *nod nod*

Though if I called things "Cold Excalibur no Jutsu!" that would just sound weird.

Happy Thanksgiving, eat some turkey~


	6. Chocolate Penguins

Just a little something fun and silly.

Why chocolate penguins? I got a box of them from my friend, who bought them from some Girl Scouts. They're minty on the inside :) And they're good! And I always picture a little childish side of Mariko, who can pull it off with her cute face and small figure...

Besides, I promised some silly TobiMari fluff. Or something along the lines of fluff.

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, yadda yadda, because I would've made a pre-Konoha arc, or at least side story. lol. /shot

* * *

**Chapter 6: ****Chocolate Penguins**

Tobirama would never give her chocolate. Ever. Again. By the time he found her new hiding spot, the tin of penguin-shaped chocolates was nearly empty.

"Mariko, _stop eating the chocolate_!" he exclaimed, an arm shooting out to grab it from her. His efforts proved to be useless, because Mariko hugged the tin to herself and darted away, squealing like a baby. Tobirama sighed.

Mito and Hashirama had gone on a trip to meet some political figure from…was it the Tea Country? Tobirama and Mariko had the main Senju household to themselves, and after Koharu and the team gave him a box of chocolates (was it Valentine's day already? Wait, it was March…) Mariko had asked for some, and now she wouldn't part with them without a fight to the death.

"Here Mariko, Mariko, here silly girl," Tobirama sang, as if calling a stubborn cat. There was a rustle behind him, and he whipped open the hallway closet. A blue-haired blur shot out of the coat rack and sped down the hall, chocolates clanging and rattling against the tin container. Now the Senju wanted to slam his head against the wall.

Note to self: Chocolates make Mariko go insane.

Tobirama chased her for another half hour—even the great water shinobi was panting and sweating by then—until he pinned her in a corner. Her only options were to run down the hall to their bedroom, or get stuck in the guest wing. She went for the former, taking off at a dead sprint and slamming the door behind her. The silly girl forgot to lock the door, but apparently that wasn't her intent. Tobirama found her sitting on the bed, hugging the chocolate penguins to her chest.

"Mariko…" Tobirama held up his hands, approaching slowly, cautiously, as if she was a skittish animal.

"It's mine." She glared.

"Why are you so obsessed over the chocolate?" he demanded angrily, though still approaching slowly.

"Well…Hurricane doesn't get a lot of chocolate," she answered thoughtfully, "And I've only had it once. Even for Valentine's day, we use other candy to make up for it."

Tobirama considered this. Okay, so she just wanted to have some, but that didn't mean she had to hoard it. He tried explaining to her, but she just pouted. Tobirama noticed that she hadn't eaten any more poor chocolate penguins, but had closed the lid and had set it on the bed. He took the chance to snatch it away, despite her cry of objection.

"Wahhh, Tobirama, give it back!" Mariko lunged for it, but Tobirama easily held it out of her reach. Even standing on the bed, Mariko was too short to grab it back.

"Too much chocolate for you," he told her, poking her in the ribs. She punched him in the chest as retaliation.

"Give it back!" she wailed, jumping on the bed now. Mariko was so much like a child, he wanted to laugh. It sometimes got annoying, her immature behaviors grinding on his nerves (like their cat and mouse game, earlier), but at other times, she was just amusing.

"Nope. I'm eating the rest. Koharu gave me these chocolate penguins, and you just ate them all." Tobirama made to leave, expecting her to leap after him and follow the chocolate, but to his surprise, she just flopped back down on the bed. "Mariko?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you want the chocolate?" He rattled the contents of the jar.

"I do."

"Come and get it, then," he prompted, pausing at the doorway.

Mariko shook her head, dejected.

"Tobirama got mad, so I guess I'll just hang out here. And digest, or something." Mariko laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Tobirama sighed again. She was so confusing to deal with; mood swings anytime, strange ideas, unreasonable reasoning…

"Hey, I wasn't mad. I just wanted my chocolate back," he answered.

"You never give me any. Koharu gives you lots," Mariko said, voice muffled through a pillow.

"You just have to ask, you know." Tobirama came back to her side. It occurred to him that maybe she just wanted the attention, that he was ignoring her. So he laid down beside her and wrapped his arms around her small frame. "Next time we can behead chocolate penguins together, okay?"

She shifted to look up at him, delighted that he knew what she wanted. Tobirama stroked her hair, still amused at the different sides of this girl he was still discovering. It seemed that her childlike side only appeared when she wanted something, and in this case, it was Tobirama's affections.

He tilted her chin up and planted a soft kiss on her lips, smiling as she blushed.

She tasted like chocolate.

* * *

Hope you liked it?

Thoughts, reviews! ~~~

(To see Mariko, go to my deviantART account! The link's on my page.)

Or...she's just on my page.

Or in the picture...at the top.

(Oh great, now I want to eat chocolate penguins...nomnomnom.)


	7. Hurricane - Part 1

This one's a lot longer, sorry about that.

I decided to include Tobirama and Mariko's trip to Hurricane in this story.

It's endless in my head, because I'm allergic to plot, but I'll work it out... This is part one, in any case, so at least it's not like...a novel. Tell me what I can do to make it more interesting!

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. I only made up the Hurricane Country, and my OCs are Mariko, Sumiko, Katsurou, and Ryouichi.

Tobirama's a Senju, so...(why doesn't he have overpowering Senju DNA and trees?!)

* * *

**Chapter 7: ****Hurricane - Part 1**

There comes a time when the serious boyfriend meets the family. There also comes a time when the result of an unhappy arranged marriage turned cliché-but-adorable love story has to meet the family as well.

When Hashirama told his younger brother, "Pack your bags, you're going on a trip", Tobirama had no idea what they had in store for him.

"You're going to Hurricane tomorrow," was the last thing he expected to hear at dinner that night. His astonished face was probably worth taking a picture, but Mito and Hashirama just laughed at him. Mito began one of her stories, the kind of reminiscing told over quiet dinners in the Senju household. It was the story of the time Hashirama went to meet her parents in Uzushiogakure.

Tobirama blanched.

"Here, Tobirama," Hashirama said the morning of departure, "is a list of names I think you'll need to know. Important people, that's all. Nothing too detailed or extreme, you don't need to know more than this, really."

The list was four pages long, and Tobirama stared at it dejectedly. He already had a hard enough time remembering the current Konoha genin, let alone others. He still called Danzo by "Dan", and called Torifu "Tora" by accident sometimes. Besides, didn't he have to learn all of Mariko's siblings' names first?

"This…is long," he said simply.

"I'm sure Mariko will help you. Hop into that carriage, your travel group is ready to go." Hashirama patted his brother on the shoulder, smiling sympathetically. As the older brother, he should've offered Tobirama some advice and cheered him up a bit, but Hashirama remembered very clearly his own traumatic experience when he left for Whirlpool. He'd been a wreck on the inside, but in the end, it turned out well. Hashirama was sure that Tobirama would be fine, despite the pale-faced expression on the already pale younger Senju.

Mariko's consistent naps on the carriage and her distracted lessons on names were the only things that he could really remember—well, he'd forgotten the names, mostly, but still. If she hadn't been sleeping on his lap or curled into his arms, Tobirama would've high-tailed it back to Konoha ASAP. After three days of travel, he decided running all the way back probably wasn't worth it.

* * *

They sailed past what Mariko claimed to be Uzushiogakure, which was probably true, since several working fishermen waved at them when they saw the Leaf Village sign on their sails. Tobirama observed the easily recognized swirl of Uzu on the fishers' small boats.

A few hours later, they ran into the next biggest island, and that would be Hurricane.

_Welcome to Hurricane_ was the first sign that they met on land. After traveling by foot and horse again for a few more hours, reaching high noon of their fifth day of travel, they read the second sign:

_Welcome to Esmeralda, capital city of Hurricane_.

Mariko's hometown. It was much bigger than Tobirama expected, and the style was vastly different from that of Konoha. A wall enclosed the capital city, and far into the distance, he saw high towers reaching high into the blue sky. Tobirama wondered why a wall had been built around such a vast city. Or rather, he wondered how long it took.

"That's just on the south end," Mariko informed him, as if reading his mind. "The other borders are mostly farmland or small towns."

"It's…different than what I thought," Tobirama answered, studying the source of all his Hurricane jokes he pinned on her.

As their horse pulled the wagon to the gate, armed guards stopped them and asked their purpose. Toka, who had been charged with organizing the trips to and from Hurricane, stepped up. She was only obligated to drop off Tobirama and Mariko, then pick them up after three weeks. Anything more, and she would probably kill something.

"Where is your party coming from?"

"Konoha, Land of Fire."

"Destination and reason?"

"Emerald Palace, and delivering the fourth princess with her fiancé." Toka crossed her arms, satisfied with her answer, especially when the guard abruptly looked up at her from his border log, nearly dropping his pencil.

"Go right ahead," he said, almost forgetting to check their wagons. When the guards saw the border check man bent at the waist in a frantic bow towards the second wagon, they peered inside to see who it was. Upon recognizing the blue hair of the royal family, they all put their heads down and twisted their bodies in 90 degree angles, forgetting to check which member of the family it was.

Well, then again, the eldest son resided in Esmeralda, and the two others had already arrived beforehand. This was obviously Princess Mariko, but they didn't really register that.

"I'll be leaving at this point," Toka told them. She turned to Tobirama and glared. "Behave, Tobirama."

"Yes ma'am." The Senju almost shuddered when he saw his cousin pull out a kunai, threatening to dismember him should he create political war.

Tobirama and Mariko stood in front of the royal palace, an insanely tall thing that was supposed to be where Mariko had lived.

"You lived in _that_?" Tobirama asked her. She linked arms with him and nodded proudly, pointing to one of many tall tiers, calling it her room. Tobirama shook his head. "Don't you get lost?"

"Nope."

When they reached the gate, the first guard's jaw nearly dropped as he scurried to get the head of security. Meanwhile, all the other armed men looked ridiculous as they scrambled into position, forming two rows for Tobirama and Mariko to walk through. They planted their swords in front of them and dipped their heads respectfully.

Tobirama did his best not to tell Mariko the myriad of Hurricane jokes that popped into his head right then.

The head guard, an old man of nearly 80 years, propped himself up on his cane and ambled down to meet them. Despite his age, he could still easily lose the cane and fight a storm if he had to. He had seen the current king get married, and he and his wife had overseen the birth of every child of this generation. It had been years and years since all four of them had been in the palace at the same time.

"Welcome home, Mariko," he said, dipping his head.

Mariko broke from Tobirama's side and ran to hug the old man, known as Arr. Old Arr gently patted Mariko on the back, smiling as his armor clinked and scraped like old bones.

"It's good to see you, Arr."

"It's good to have you all back."

Mariko paused. _You all_? If Arr mentioned more than just her, and moreover, "all", then that meant… Mariko whipped her head towards the next voice that sailed through the courtyard.

"If it isn't Marie, Marie, Marie," a woman's voice sang. Tobirama had to blink twice and make sure he wasn't staring an alternate world version of Mariko. This woman was much taller than Mariko, built like a model, with swept back hair and dangly gold earrings. Her heels were disastrously high, but yet she paraded over with the lithe grace of a stalking cat.

"Well?" she asked, holding her arms out. Tobirama watched as Mariko's face burst into a smile and she ran into the woman's arms.

"Sumiko!" she exclaimed, throwing herself at her older sister. Tobirama recalled bits and pieces of things Mariko had told him about Sumiko; this was her only sister, then one that took care of her in place of a mother when the Queen had died.

"What in the world are you wearing, Marie?" Sumiko asked sarcastically, taking in Mariko's Konoha-style dress. It was one of those flat skirts to the knee, comfortable, but shaped like a rectangle. "Is this the best they can do in the Leaf?"

Sumiko didn't even spare a glance at Tobirama…yet. She herself wore the most fashionable thing one could find in the Hot Springs Country, and from what Mariko heard, Hot Springs was very fashionable. Koharu had said something about new trends, some time or the other.

"These are my traveling clothes. I'm in disguise," Mariko joked, smiling at her sister.

"Yet you look three times as dull as Mr. Boyfriend over there." Sumiko nodded at Tobirama, feigning a pout. He _was_ quite good looking, if she could say so herself. "But then again, Mr. Boyfriend hasn't greeted me yet."

"Tobirama, this is my sister, Sumiko," Mariko laughed. Tobirama smiled, casting a nervous glance at his little blunette, before holding his hand out to the taller one.

"Ah, Mr. Boyfriend, here in Hurricane, you shake hands with men and you greet women with a friendly kiss on each cheek," Sumiko informed him. Mariko stifled a giggle as Tobirama did as he was told.

"I see Hurricane is more interesting than I thought," he said lightly, glancing at Mariko again. She crossed her arms. "And now I've met the woman of all Mariko's stories, Sumiko-san. All good things, of course."

"I'd hope so, Mr. Boyfriend, because the hide I'd skin would be _yours_ and not my baby sister's," Sumiko quipped, arching her perfect eyebrows. Tobirama cringed internally, but on the outside, he was as cool as Izuna's witty remarks, and laughed just as lightly.

"Your sister is just as interesting as Hurricane," Tobirama said to Mariko.

"Mr. Boyfriend's got a great sense of humor," Sumiko approved. "I like him."

She stepped closer to Tobirama.

"Though if you do anything weird, her brothers and I will cut off parts you don't want cut off."

"That sounds like something I said a few months back, Sumi. Besides that, hey, Sumi, long time no see!"

A familiar, tall figure with a recognizable swagger made his way towards them. He held a glass of who-knows-what in his left hand, and was sipping it casually, sunglasses reflecting the high noon sun with a glare.

Katsurou pressed two light kisses to both his sisters' cheeks, and then pulled him into a bear hug without spilling his drink. He held out his hand to Tobirama, who shook it firmly, despite still shuddering at Sumiko's threat to his manliness.

"Katsurou's here, it's a party!" Katsurou exclaimed, pushing his sunglasses on his head. Again, the green of his eyes, identical to Mariko's, always threw off Tobirama. "And look here, you _survived_! I'm surprised you're alive, with my sister and all."

Mariko elbowed him, rolling her eyes.

"No, I meant with Sumi! Don't take that threat lightly, my good man." Katsurou patted Tobirama on the shoulder, nodding gravely. "If she catches you doing anything wrong…" Katsurou made a slicing motion across his neck, eyes widening for dramatic effect. "And then some other parts, too."

"Kats, you're scaring him. I'm sure Mr. Boyfriend is a 'good man', as you said," Sumiko interrupted, smiling. "He wouldn't touch our _pure_ Marie, would he?"

Tobirama made a mental note not to make any jokes about Mariko's purity, seeing as he'd already taken it away. That was besides the point, so he just laughed along with them, though he sensed an oddly murderous undertone.

"Let's see the big man, then." Katsurou waved at them.

"Dad?" asked Mariko.

"Nope, the other big man, good old Ryou." Katsurou began making his way to the main gate, but not before throwing out a hello to old Arr. The old soldier nodded and patted Katsurou's hand, unable to reach the man's head as he had been able to when Katsurou was just a boy.

"Take care," Arr told them as they left.

Unlike the many Uzushiogakure people that had escorted Mito to Konoha, the people of Hurricane did not all have the same color. Mito's people all had some shade of red hair or the other, some of them deviating into more brown and black shades, and some random blonde heads that somehow got worked into the population. Nevertheless, the main color was red.

Hurricane, however, saw all shades of hair-colors, a diversity of people, just like Konoha. It appeared that only Mariko's family had the brilliant blue hair of the Aokami. The other blue-haired people running around must've been cousins or clan members, Tobirama supposed. After walking through at least three gardens, Tobirama was effectively confused and lost. Katsurou and the two sisters easily navigated their way through, despite the older two having been out of country longer than Mariko. Somehow, Sumiko picked her way successfully through the bustling palace on her frightening heels, a sure-footed mare taking careful steps.

"Is that Mariko?" a few blue-headed girls whispered.

"No way!"

"Who else could it be?"

The two girls ran over and tackled Mariko, wrapping their arms around her, giggling. They turned out to be cousins, and despite Tobirama's obvious presence, they wouldn't stop laughing and talking to Mariko, absolutely delighted to see her. They didn't even acknowledge the two other siblings.

"I have to go, guys," Mariko said, smiling. "I'll catch up with you later."

"You _have _to," said the taller one with curly blue hair. "You _have _to hear about what happened last week!"

She and the shorter one squealed, before taking off into the palace again.

"Those were my two cousins," Mariko explained. "We always spent time together."

Tobirama nodded as they continued indoors.

"Ryou, Ryou," sang Sumiko, sauntering into a massive library with the rest of the group in two. "Are you locking yourself up in here again?"

They came upon a slim man wearing a suit, his tie slightly loosened and his nose buried in a book. He glanced up and pushed his glasses up his nose, the action reminding Tobirama a little bit of Homura. The Senju suddenly wondered what his team was doing at the moment. Maybe they were hanging out with Team Toka, and spray painting buildings with graffiti?! He discarded the thought.

"Just taking a break, Sumiko. Nice to see you again." He stood up, brushing his straight blue hair out of his face. This must be the eldest brother, Ryouichi, Tobirama thought. Though "eldest" meant the same age as Tobirama…

"Ryou, bro, how's it going?" Katsurou had put on his sunglasses again, despite being indoors, and flashed a sharp grin. He held up a fist. Ryouichi sighed, a small smile on his lips, and fist-bumped with his brother.

"I'm well, though I've no idea what the Frost Country's done to you." Ryouichi turned to Mariko. "If it isn't Mariko."

"Marie, Marie, the last one to leave us, huh?" Sumiko smiled.

"I'm back, aren't I?" Mariko replied, smiling as Ryouichi drew her into a gentle hug. Tobirama felt a twinge of jealousy, seeing as Mariko was completely absorbed in her siblings, but reminded himself that she must've missed them badly. He recalled that Ryouichi was the heir to the Hurricane throne, and also the one who had always been on the island despite Katsurou and Sumiko leaving, up until Mariko had left as well.

"You must be Tobirama, then." Tobirama and Ryouichi shook hands.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Tobirama said. Inwardly, he thought, _See Toka? I'm behaving…_

"Please, join us for lunch."

"I can't, can't, can't, I'm simply too busy, please, leave now." A snippy voice sailed through the quiet garden where a nice table had been set up, and the five were eating. Tobirama found that Hurricane dishes were quite good, though the craisins in the cake made him want to laugh. Mariko obviously read his mind, because when the cake was served, she glanced suspiciously at her fiancé. (Craisins had been the subject of a strange joke ever since Mariko tried to convince Tobirama that they tasted good.)

The source of the snippy voice was a tall, gangly man with shocking red hair.

"Ah, Sumiko, can you _please_ tell that woman outside that I _don't _want to deal with her?" He planted his hands on his hips, rolling his eyes. Tobirama thought he had a funny accent, but it was familiar, too. "I simply _cannot_ style her hair at this time."

"Sure thing, Rosso." Sumiko excused herself from the table.

"That's our hairdresser. He's from Uzu," Katsurou explained. Now the accent made sense.

"I've noticed that you and Mariko have similar hairstyles," Tobirama commented. Katsurou chuckled, glancing at his baby sister. His own hair was, in fact, swept to the side in a similar manner to Mariko's, besides the obvious difference in length.

"Someone thought I had cool hair when she was little."

"So?" Mariko pouted.

"Well—"

Suddenly, there were shouts, a few screams, and the clattering of horse's hooves on stone pavement.

"Loose horse!"

"Someone, get that mare!"

Everyone at the table stood up, turning towards the gate Sumiko had just gone through. It was closed, but they watched in awe as a beautiful dapple gray mare sailed over the top and landed lightly on the path through the garden, cantering briskly to the table.

"It's Katrina, huh?" Katsurou laughed, but then fell backwards when the horse pushed him with her muzzle. Ryouichi held his hands up, as if to stop the horse, but the animal simply trotted to Mariko's side and bumped her arm gently.

"You missed me that much?" Mariko rubbed the horse's ears affectionately, and she nickered softly through her nose.

"That's your horse?" Tobirama asked.

"Yep, this is her."

Katrina the horse glanced over at Tobirama, then, as if scrutinizing him. The Senju reached out to stroke her neck, but the mare snapped her teeth at him. Tobirama withdrew hastily, surprised.

"She's not very friendly towards strangers. I'm sure she'll like you, though." Mariko apologized a few times.

"That horse doesn't like anyone except you, Marie," Sumiko called, coming back inside the garden. "She's thrown Katsurou at least ten times, doesn't let Ryou even approach her, and barely lets me trot her around the ring. The most exercise she gets is one of the bolder trainers letting her out in the arena or paddock."

"Nine," corrected Katsurou.

"Same thing."

Tobirama glanced at the horse, whose presence now took up the entire dining space. Katrina swished her tail impatiently, nudging Mariko again. She seemed to glare at Tobirama, who watched the animal warily.

"Well, I'll be watching my fingers from now on, then," he announced, creating a ripple of laughter. On the other hand, the horse continued to glare at him…

Was it possible for a horse to hold grudges?

* * *

-checks word count- Huh. It's shorter than "Summer Homework". How funny.

Is this too much of a character explosion? Oh well. Too bad. :'D Hope you like it!

Sumiko is sort of like Aiko from Sukitte Ii Na Yo, but more cheery, Katsurou has Tony DiNozzo's personality (from NCIS), and Ryouichi...I don't really know. Still under development.

I...need to write my essays.

Procrastination has appeared. Kill it with fire! =3=


	8. But the Fire's so Delightful

Well, here's a short little break from Hurricane Country. Don't forget what happens, though!

Hope y'all in the states had a nice turkey day, gobble gobble ~

Uh. Tobirama's sort of naughty, but it's all for giggles. Mariko just blushes, because that's what Mariko does, and then implied lemon, because...uh...-runs away- I don't write that stuff...I write mild things, mild mild mild, where you _know_ but you don't- I'll stop now.

(There are some great lemony writers out there, just sayin'. /shot)

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, because the latest Naruto episodes have produced Marilyn MonKabuto, with Grandma's hair...

And a Hidan with killed emotions. Everyone wants Hidan, but not with killed emotions...

Anyway, a little holiday spirit?

* * *

**Chapter 8: ****But the Fire's so Delightful**

It was _so_ cold. Late October usually brought about cooler weather, but the frost on the ground and the bitter chill in the air bit at Mariko's nose and ears relentlessly. It was a late, Friday night, and she had been expected home about…two hours ago? Mariko hugged her jacket to herself, shivering. It wasn't her fault that her friend's birthday party had been so much fun, right? Seriously, the Hyuuga were rich enough to throw that kind of thing.

She wondered if Tobirama was at all worried about her, seeing as it was near midnight, and she was roaming the streets of Konoha all by herself. (At home, Tobirama had fret for about half an hour before deciding that he would wait until half past midnight to see if she would return.) At least she reached the Senju complex in a few minutes, without much occurring.

Tobirama heard her padding towards their room, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then he hastily began his "plans" and leapt into the bed to warm it up.

Mariko burst into the room, her face flushed red from the cold. It was an interesting contrast to her light blue hair, strands of which fell around her face, loose from her ponytail.

"It's _cold_!" she exclaimed, her shivers racking her frame visibly. Mariko eyed Tobirama, who was snuggled very comfortably in their bed up to his neck, seemingly half asleep. "Weren't you worried about me?"

"I was," Tobirama admitted, "that is, until I heard a crashing in the Senju complex and decided it was you."

Mariko scowled lightly at him, shaking her head. She noticed he was laying on her side of the bed, opening up the spot closest to her. Mariko rubbed her face; it was still so cold, she barely felt it. Her ears were numb, her hands were stiff, and her jacket proved itself useless on the way there, because the chill just seeped right through it.

"If you come here, you won't be so cold." Tobirama glanced at the open spot.

Mariko raised a suspicious eyebrow at him, but did as she was told. She shed the jacket, which was too puffy (though also ineffective), and replaced it with the blanket. When she crawled in, the heat trapped in the comforter immediately warmed her up. Cuddling closer to Tobirama, she took advantage of his body heat to warm up her frozen skin. Since her fingers were still iced up, she tried wrapping her arms around her husband…and noticed that he lacked clothing.

"Tobirama," she began, suspicious. Mariko pressed her hands against his chest, which was bare. "Why are you not wearing a shirt?"

"I'm not wearing a lot of things, Mariko," he purred mischievously. Her eyes widened and she blushed, not from the cold now, but from Tobirama pulling her closer with a devious smile on his face.

"Tobirama?" she squeaked, trying to push him away.

"Your hands _are _really cold," he muttered, pulling her icy palms away from his chest. "How about we warm them up?"

"Tobirama, _why are you naked_?" she demanded, though her voice rose a few octaves and she was nearly squeaking again. Her face was even redder than when she had appeared at the door, cheeks flaming every time Tobirama shifted.

"I'm naked to warm you up," he replied simply, pressing a kiss to her jaw, and then nuzzling her neck. "How about you take off your clothes, and warm up even faster?"

"Tobirama!"

Mariko tried to protest, but he was already pulling her shirt off of her, with an oddly smug expression on his face.

The weather outside was frightful, but Tobirama and Mariko weren't cold at all that night…

* * *

Oh the weather outside was frightful, but the fire is so delightful, and since we've no place to go, let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

...

Uh. It wasn't snowing in Konoha... =3=

I'm such a bad writer, OTL I'm sorry. -runs away-

I know. I'll get Jiraiya to write this for me...


	9. Hurricane - Part 2

Hey guys, Hurricane part two.

Sorry, it's sort of short and rushed (to me, anyway)

I wasn't sure how to end it, so here's a random horse chase and the fastest ending ever.

Though not as fast as KHR. lol.

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me. If it did, Obito would've declared that he was going to the DMV alone, and that Madara had to give him the keys - It's time to get his license. XD

* * *

**Chapter 9: ****Hurricane - Part 2**

Tobirama had met Mariko's father once before. He was an intimidating man, tall and broad-shouldered with an air of formality always carried with him. His grayed hair held a dark tinge of what must've been the Aokami line of blue hair many years ago, and his eyes were the same emerald green darkened and wizened with age. The slight crinkles around his eyes suggested that he once smiled a lot, but not anymore. His usual appearance was stiff and strict, a presence in which Mariko grew deadly silent, Ryouichi maintained his professional stance, Katsurou didn't dare make a smart remark, and Sumiko dipped her head respectfully. From what Tobirama could tell, all four seemed to be trying for approval.

Whatever the situation, this was a man to respect. King Hiroto of Hurricane.

The meeting was brief, the group paid their respects to the busy man before proceeding on their way. Tobirama got a strange tingle of nervousness when they entered his office; after all, this was the man that arranged his fourth's daughter's marriage with Hashirama, who just as easily handed over Tobirama. It was a strange thought.

Afterwards, they had a pleasant dinner—Tobirama couldn't help but feel that the maids were staring at him, and quite blatantly too—and then they had a tour of the nearby streets, and then very quickly the sun had set and night was upon them.

"This is Mariko's room, but it's too small for two people," Sumiko said, tapping her heels against the hardwood floor as she introduced Mariko's old home to Tobirama. It was massive—five rooms, each the size of four of Tobirama's room back in Konoha, made up Mariko's quarters. One room was entirely dedicated to her belongings (in the past), while another was a luxurious bathroom. _It's basically a pool_, Tobirama thought.

Another held her bed, a puffy-looking thing with veils and drapes hanging over it from the ceiling, delicately connected to tall posts. It was all a shade of peach and rose, which seemed to suit Mariko, despite her aquamarine hair.

"This…is big." Tobirama continued to gape at it.

"Too big for me," Mariko reassured him, smiling. Considering her small size, perhaps such a living space had been too much.

"Well, moving on," Sumiko urged, clicking out the door. She shut it behind them and led them to the guest quarters. "Here's our guest wing, and here's your room. It's got a bigger bed for you two."

They pushed their way into a room slightly smaller than one of Mariko's, but still with its own bath and whatnot. The bath was like one of Konoha's hot springs, almost; huge enough for a group to relax in.

Katsurou appeared then, peeking into the room. He held some of the couple's baggage.

"We're bringing this up now. Hold on a sec."

When they finished, Tobirama thanked them quietly, for Mariko had already curled up in the bed and was fast asleep. After the long trip and plenty of activities, it was natural that she was spent. The blunette snored lightly into the pillow, occasionally smiling in her dreams.

"Good night, guys." Sumiko waved and took her leave.

"Do anything funny to my sister tonight, and you're gonna get it." Katsurou grinned and waved as well.

"I'll keep that in mind." Tobirama shut the door after them. He soon joined Mariko in the bed, wrapping his arms around her curled up body.

Maybe it was the slight time difference, or maybe it was the distant neigh of horses, but Tobirama woke up exceptionally early. Dressing in casual slacks and a polo, he took a walk outside. He happened along the stables, just a ways away from the east end of the castle. He had great timing, because Mariko's gray mare, Katrina, appeared along the fence line and snapped her teeth at him.

"Hey," Tobirama said tiredly. He found himself staring off with the horse. Tobirama was never fond of horses. Maybe it was because they were big, bold, and dangerous at both ends. With sharp hooves and those dark eyes, Tobirama preferred to keep his distance.

Meanwhile, Katrina kept on following Tobirama until he reached the paddock gate. There, she was obstructed by the fence bordering the next field, and Tobirama smirked. No more creepy horse eyes on him, now.

Katrina was probably just as stubborn as her owner, because she backed up, rolled on her haunches, and easily sprang over the barrier. Landing with a soft thud, the mare cantered up to Tobirama, shaking her head and whinnying. Tobirama glared; it was like the horse was laughing at him.

"Are you following me?" he joked aloud, as if the horse could understand him. The gray bobbed her head up and down, like a nod. "Oh Hashi, if you could see this. I'm talking to a horse."

Tobirama recalled what Sumiko had said the day before. Katrina was a nearly untamable horse, wild and frenzied under saddle unless Mariko was the one present. Why in the world would they keep such a dangerous horse, then? This was an animal even more picky than Mito, he supposed.

"I would be careful around that one," called a voice. Tobirama glanced over to see a young stable boy holding a pitchfork. "She's got a nasty bite, and a worse kick."

"I see." Tobirama continued to walk a good few yards away from the fence, where Katrina whirled and spun and taunted him with a few snorts.

"I've heard that no one can ride her."

"Oh, really?"

"She's wild."

"I see." Tobirama ventured a step closer, but Katrina lunged at him with a fierce snap of her teeth. His shinobi skills pulled him away quickly. The horse whinnied again, amused. Her tail swished happily, and she pranced along the fence.

"She's a smart one, too." The stable boy nodded to himself. He continued on to ask if Tobirama was new around these parts, rambling about how the royal stables were so grand and majestic. He proudly displayed his new nametag to Tobirama: Maki.

"So, Maki. Do you ride the horses?" Tobirama asked.

"Oh no. The most I can do is bring them in. Though I would like to, I learned how to ride when I was barely four." Maki smiled up at the older man proudly.

"Can you bring in this one for me?" Tobirama jerked a thumb at Katrina, who flattened her ears at the gesture.

"Oh no, I don't think I'm allowed to. Unless you can give me permission, from the royal family?" Maki seemed to be naïvely full of suggestions. Tobirama stopped, considering his answer.

"I'm related to them. Does that count?"

Maki supposed that anyone who was allowed into the castle area at all must have some sort of clearance. The poor, young teen didn't know much about castle rules, but he knew the security was insanely tight. One time, he barely got back in because he tried the front gate instead of the members' entrance.

"You are?" he asked first, noticing the lack of blue hair.

"Married," Tobirama told him. Maki nodded thoughtfully, before approaching the nearest gate. Katrina saw this and trotted eagerly to meet him. Tobirama wondered why she didn't just jump it.

As soon as the gate was opened, Maki reached up to slip a halter over the horse's head, but she bolted out with a defiant kick.

"No!" Maki cried, helplessly flailing as he avoided the dangerous hooves and the mare thundered down the path. Tobirama frowned and ran a little ways before pressing his hands together and calling up a water wall. The reverse waterfall rose up in front of Katrina, who whirled in fright and galloped back their way again. Tobirama tried confronting the horse, whilst wondering why he got himself into such a mess.

Katrina skidded to a halt and pushed Tobirama with her nose angrily, trying to shove him off his feet. Maki tried cornering her, but she threatened to kick again, and body slammed into a nearby paddock fence. The few ponies grazing there looked up, interested. They soon returned to their grazing, though, upon seeing the feisty mare and her usual antics.

The mare kept shoving at Tobirama, ears flattened and teeth snapping. Tobirama's hand flew to his leg, but found that his kunai pack wasn't present, of course, and backed away. Suddenly, Katrina lowered her head curiously, moving her muzzle closer to Tobirama's chest again, as if to push him one more time. Her nostrils flared as she smelled a familiar scent—Mariko. Nickering, the horse ambled a bit closer to the man, ears swiveling back and forth.

Abruptly, Katrina pulled away harshly and turned away, ears tilted forward, eyes wide.

In the direction of the stables, a faint rumbling was heard. There was a shout, a scream, and then a few men dressed in shinobi attire and masks galloped out on a few horses, several more in tow.

"Horse thieves!" a woman screamed.

"Stop!" Maki wielded his pitchfork threateningly, but the first rider jostled him with a staff and threw him to the ground, thundering past on the panicked horses. Katrina's neighs turned to angry horse screams, ears flat on her neck as she attempted to hinder the thieves. Useless against the large group, she was pushed back against the edge of the pathway until the entire raid passed, making their way to the end gate.

"That's towards the closest exit!" wailed Maki. The young boy's eyes began to tear up as he picked himself up from the ground and started hyperventilating.

"Calm down," Tobirama ordered, kneeling. He pressed two fingers to the ground, and the chakra pulses that he sent to and from his hand like echolocation informed him of the exact number and their current direction, as well as speed. "I'll follow them."

Soon after, shouts from the castle were heard, and several guards came to the scene. However, Tobirama knew that they'd be to slow. It seemed as if Katrina had the same idea, because she whinnied angrily, stomping her hooves, before shoving Tobirama with her muzzle again. The Senju easily leapt up onto the gray horse's back, hands grasping the coarse black mane to steady himself. Without waiting for the man to adjust, Katrina took off at a dead bolt in pursuit of her friends and their captors.

Tobirama leaned low over the horse's neck, trying to remember when the last time he rode a horse was. As a shinobi, several skills seemed to be necessary, and at one point, horseback riding had been included.

His legs gripped the animal's sides firmly, and he maintained a rather balanced seat as the mare galloped away.

Mariko had awoken to an empty bed, not warm, but not cold either. She quickly dressed, brushed her teeth, and went in search of Tobirama to call him in for dinner. She had circled the castle, gone through the many gardens, and peeked into several rooms, but he was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, a bell went off, and people were rushing to the barn. Mariko followed Sumiko, who said something that sounded like "horse thieves" and ran in the direction of the fields.

She barely made it to the west gate when a familiar horse was seen pounding down the pathway. Sumiko and Katsurou, who appeared at the same time, gaped as Katrina slid to a halt on the slightly gravelly ground. On her back, Tobirama sat tall, far from being throne.

"I guess…she likes you?" Katsurou asked.

"Maybe it's just because I smell like Mariko," Tobirama reasoned, before pointing in the direction the thieves had gone. "They went that way."

Then, without waiting for an answer, he and Katrina took off, galloping faster than any other horse on the island, leaving the three siblings gaping.

Eventually, the horses were returned, the thieves caught and punished, and the most memorable thing on the entire trip with either Tobirama riding the impossible to ride horse, Tobirama falling in the pond, or Tobirama picking strawberries.

* * *

See how terribly fast that was?

I'm so sorry I ended it like that, but plot-no-jutsu doesn't work with me, and to be honest, I'm tired and should go to bed (or do homework).

Actually, _I _used plot-no-jutsu because BAM it's finished like that. Imagine the kage-bunshin-disappearing poof, and then my story ending. There.

I think I prefer TobiMari short stories. We'll get back to that eventually.

IN ANY CASE if you want to see what Katrina sort of looks like...

Look up "dapple gray horse" and maybe add "black mane" to it in...say Google Images, and something should pop up.

When Obito finally got to the DMV, Rin pulled out her notepad and got into the car.

"Let's go!" Obito exclaimed, putting the car into drive.

Rin automatically failed him, because he'd forgotten the a very important part of the Driver's License test: Tell the examiner to put on his/her seatbelt.


	10. A Bug's World

Oh my gosh, what is this. lol.

Anyway, the adventures of Tobirama, Mariko, with Hashirama and Mito...and their buggy problems.

This sort of deviated from just Tobirama and Mariko, but that doesn't really matter. We'll get back to it. XD

Disclaimer: I obviously do not own Naruto. If you read this story, you'll see why.

* * *

**Chapter 10: ****A Bug's World**

Mariko hated bugs. The sight of any creepy crawlies sent her either screaming, hauling ass out of the room, throwing things at it, or a combination of the three. If Tenzou the stray cat didn't eat it or smash it accidentally while playing with it, the nearest man was tasked to killing the poor crawler. Multiple, skinny legs with long feeler antennae weren't Mariko's thing. Hashirama remembered several times when Tobirama was not present, and a screaming blunette had dragged him into the kitchen to kill a spider. On Mariko's defense, Hashirama had to admit that that sucker was a _big-ass spider_, but every time? If someone ever screamed at night, Hashirama wondered if he would sleep through it thinking if it was just Mariko again, and not some crazy Kiri nin come to kill them all.

It certainly didn't help that there was a centipede on the wall, slithering along at a leisurely pace, its hundred legs lifting in a wave like motion. One long feeler swept along its front legs, as if mocking them. Centipedes were fast, and this one seemed to be cackling at their slowness.

The main four of the Senju household—Hashirama, Mito, Tobirama, and Mariko—were having a nice breakfast, when Mito got up from her chair to replenish the plates with food, and revealed the wall behind her.

Mariko was silent for a total of five seconds, the only sound from her seat a sharp clattering of utensils against china. Both men turned briefly to see what was wrong. Mariko's eyes went wide, and her mouth opened. The two Senju men whipped around to see the centipede, and just as Mariko began to yell at them, they lunged for it.

The centipede seemed to rub its little buggy hands at them, before dashing off at what seemed like Flying Thunder God speed. It sped along the wall and nimbly crawled onto the ceiling—Shinobi Centipede.

"KILL IT!" cried Mariko, scrambling from her seat and skittering away from wherever the centipede happened to go.

Shinobi Centipede abruptly dropped from the ceiling and began weaving around on the floor in a frenzied motion. It was so fast, Tobirama wondered if the creature was using some sort of Time-Space jutsu. Every time Hashirama clapped a wood staff down on it, the many-legged bug popped up somewhere else.

"KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Mariko yelled now, despite knowing that none of them were Katon users.

Shinobi Centipede leapt onto the cabinets. It wiggled up the wall with ninja-like stealth, slipping between cracks to avoid Hashirama's deadly wood staff. Tobirama conjured up a blob of water and continually chucked it at the crawler. He continually missed.

Shinobi Centipede must have used a replacement jutsu, because all that was left was a charred area (charred?) along the cupboards, while the bug itself ran up to the kitchen counter without a problem.

"GET A HYUUGA OR SOMETHING!" Mariko screamed, tugging at Mito's sleeve. Mito sighed and rolled her eyes, exasperated. What did the blunette expect? For a Hyuuga to come in and Gentle Fist: Eight Trigrams Sixty-four Palms it?

(To be honest, Mito could actually admit that she could picture one of the younger Hyuuga boys coming in, yelling "Hakke Rokujyuuyon Shou!" and stabbing repeatedly at the stupid centipede.)

"GET KAGAMI. FIRE." Mariko ducked behind Mito when the centipede reached their end of the kitchen counter.

"Get that thing off my counter," Mito said, raising a frying pan. The men wondered why she didn't just smack it dead. Well, Mito intended to do just that, but as the pan came down with an ear-ringing clang, the Minato Bug relocated without use of any Flying Thunder God seals, and continued scurrying along the next wall.

Yondaime Centipede scuttled out the door and disappeared.

"Is it gone?" asked Mariko.

"It's gone," Tobirama confirmed.

"Good," Mariko sighed, emerging from behind the folds of Mito's robe. Mito patted her head and sighed again.

"Can we get back to breakfast? Hashi has one of those council meetings today," she said, gesturing to the table. They all nodded and made their way back to the food…

To find that the food was gone.

* * *

Outside, one crazy Uchiha and his slightly less insane brother rejoiced at their meal, the loopy older one leaping in the air whilst dragging his blind younger sibling along.

"Mito's cooking is the _best_, Izuna," he sang.

"I know." Okay, much more sane brother.

"Have you tried it?"

"I have."

"Here!"

"…I can't see where it is, Madara. Besides, you dropped the sausage."

"Izuna, I thought you couldn't see it?"

"I can hear. And I can smell." Izuna nodded thoughtfully, scratching his forehead that was sort of irritated by the bandage wrapped around his not present eyes. His older brother paused, rubbing his chin. Madara had allowed a bit of stubble grow, and was now living in the outskirts of Konoha like a madman. It was only a matter of time until he snapped and tried to steal Mito…or something.

"Wasn't I genius, Izuna?"

"Of course, brother. That was brilliant."

Madara grinned at the bug he'd named Obitopede. He was rather fond of it, seeing as the deft little centipede seemed to be able to warp and avoid attacks. It was like things just slipped through him!

"One day, I'll have a kid named Obito, and I'll make him look just like me. Like father, like son," Madara said to himself. His brother, with his now heightened hearing, heard this, and highly doubted that Madara would ever have a child, unless one magically fell from the sky and conveniently wanted to follow Madara's crazy goals.

Oh Izuna, if only you knew.

* * *

"He took it, didn't he?" Tobirama muttered. "That dang bug."

"That's not possible, Tobi," Hashirama reasoned. He was tempted to agree with his younger brother, but repeated convinced himself that if he did so, he would step away from his sanity and delve into the realm of Tobirama.

"It so is." Tobirama pointed at the table. "It's all a conspiracy. An army of ninja centipedes from Crawly-gakure just raided us, and we didn't even see them."

"That's not possible," Hashirama reiterated firmly.

"It is. _Or_, Madara ordered the Kyuubi to order Kiri ninja to order Crawly-gakure to order Madara to order the Second Mizukage (who hates me) to order Sparky the Raikage to try and steal Hyuuga secrets, who then ordered us to order a defense against Kumogakure, they they ordered Madara to turn on us, and so Madara ordered Crawly-gakure (the village that was trying to order Madara around) to send a raid against our breakfast."

Tobirama nodded.

Mariko murmured something that sounded vaguely like "inception".

"First off, that made even less sense," Hashirama explained, "and Madara doesn't take orders from people."

"Yes, but it was _his order_ that caused it all in the first place!" Tobirama returned.

"Madara-ception."

"Exactly!"

"Okay, that doesn't even sound _right_," Mito cut in, running a tired hand through her signature red hair.

"I just want my breakfast," Hashirama groaned, sinking down into his chair and putting his head in his hands. Mito busied herself with making some more food, hopefully a meal that would remain on the table this time, without interruptions. Tobirama continued his conspiracy theory at the expense of Mariko, who drew her knees up to her chest and warily casted glances in all directions, waiting for Yellow Flash Centipede to return at any moment.

"So in the end, it _was_ a crazy Kiri nin," Tobirama finished.

"I thought it was Madara," Mariko commented, peeking under the table to make sure nothing was crawling towards her ninja-style along the bottom.

"But it _was_," Tobirama told her.

"Just stop it, already," Mito moaned, setting down more food. She brushed her hands on her apron and sent a bone-chilling glare at Tobirama, who only shrugged. Hashirama envied his ignorance; usually both he and his younger brother cringed at such a look, but it seemed like this time Mito's glare lacked some of the power behind it.

"Can we have Tenzou the cat eat it?" Mariko asked.

"That's a great idea," Hashirama sighed, now worried more about being late to his council meeting rather than the Minato Bug and Tobirama's crazy stories. "I'll go see if he's in his tree on my way out."

"Noah the Tree? You still talk to him?" Tobirama asked, laughing. He almost choked on his lemonade, and Mariko patted him on the back lightly.

"I do not." Hashirama tried to end the conversation.

"You named the tree?" Mariko grinned.

"I was told he talked to it when he was younger," Mito added. A slight flush appeared on Hashirama's face, and the group snickered. He shook his head and stood up.

"I'm going," Hashirama stated simply, stalking out the door.

"At least the bug's gone," Tobirama muttered, cleaning up the dishes with Mariko, who began to rinse them in the sink.

"Mariko, you haven't said anything. I think we can say that you basically lost our breakfast," Mito said jokingly.

"I'm telling you, it was a crazy Kiri nin." Mariko's face was dead serious, hands frozen in the middle of washing dishes, staring straight at Mito. "I swear."

"_See?_" Tobirama emphasized.

"Okay, sure, Kiri nin."

"No, Mito, it was Madara!"

* * *

Minato glanced between Biwako, the Third, and his wife. Kushina poked him under the table, as if telling him he needed to calm down. But how could he calm down when there was a huge-ass centipede staring at him from the opposite wall? The Yellow Flash swore it was watching him.

When Hiruzen and his wife left, a very pregnant Kushina in tow, Minato faced off with the bug. It took up a big fat square tile on his decoratively tiled kitchen wall, and it looked old and wise. How Minato could tell this from looking at a bug, he didn't know. It obviously wasn't born that size, so he assumed it had grown. It rubbed its front hands together deviously.

"Gotcha!" Minato slapped a large jar over the bug. He clearly saw it _inside _the jar, but then there was a weird distortion of space, and it was on the next square over. "…the hell?"

He tried again, but this time, he was nowhere near catching the bug, because it pretty much teleported every time he got close to it.

"I give up," he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. The Fourth Hokage put the jar down and went back to his room to study the scrolls detailing Uzushiogakure-based seals. He had to prepare for his son's birth and keeping the Kyuubi inside of Kushina, not waste time catching a Shinobi Centipede.

* * *

Obito watched Kakashi talk to Rin's grave. He saw his old teammate's jaw moving under his mask, but couldn't hear the words he said. When the wind calmed down, the few things he heard were Kakashi mentioning Minato-sensei's son being born soon, and how he had to go tell Obito—or rather, Obito's memorial.

How ironic.

Obito stood shortly after Kakashi left, making his way down the rows of headstones to Rin's. Kakashi had brought fresh flowers, which swayed gently in the breeze now.

Obito noticed something dark in the flowers. It was rather big, visible even from a distance. The new "Uchiha Madara" bent down to look at it. It was Tobipede, the friendly centipede from Madara's lair. Swirly man and Zetsu swore to him its name was Obitopede, but Obito scoffed at that—for Madara to name a centipede, first of all, was just unlikely, and to have his name? That was just creepy…—and he named the bug Tobipede instead. After all, the Madara-old bug deftly escaped all dilemmas (he'd been crushed by a rock, but yet magically appeared again) and Obito felt he could relate to it, so he named it Tobi.

"What're you doing here?" Obito extended a finger, and it crawled up his arm. To be honest, the large, creepy crawly still gave him the chills, but he'd gotten a tad used to the centipedes gangly limbs and long body. It was nearly half the length of his arm.

No matter. Obito prepared to steal the Kyuubi.

* * *

Sasuke _swore_ he saw a centipede the length of his body, sitting on the head of the huge summoning statue that they sealed tailed beasts in. Seriously.

"Did you see that?" he demanded harshly.

"See what?" drawled Suigetsu, who yawned in Sasuke's face.

"CENTIPEDE OH MY GOSH KILL IT WITH FIRE!" Karin screamed. Sasuke confirmed he was not hallucinating and prepared to spit a big fat fireball at the horrendous creature. However, his fireball was sucked away in a familiar spiral shape as the masked man Tobi, aka "Madara", appeared.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT SASUKE WAS KILLING THE CENTIPEDE!" Karin squealed, her red hair flying about her head in her panic attack.

"I can't let you destroy the Gedo Mazo," was all Tobi offered. Actually, Tobi feared that Sasuke would burn Tobipede to a crisp. He shouldn't have worried, though.

After all, Shinobi Yondaime Minato Bug Tobitopede was capable of using Kamui _and _the Flying Thunder God technique. No problems, here.

* * *

Sometime before she died, Rin often stared out the window before realizing the time and running to the Konoha gates to make it in time to meet Kakashi and Minato-sensei for a mission.

One time, she saw a centipede, maybe the size of her hand, staring up at her from the windowsill.

She carefully shut the window so that it was sitting just outside her room, locked the window, and ran out her door.

Obitopede glanced down at Rin's team picture. It recalled its dear memories with Madara and Izuna in their youth, before Izuna died and Madara grew insanely old. Though Obitopede could not have said that itself was any younger.

Despite that, Obitopede scurried with the speed of a young Minato Bug, and hopped into the grass. It scared off the ants on the ant hill and the bees visiting their pollen-filled flowers. The silly honeybees buzzed frantically and their puffy little bodies zipped away. Obitopede continued.

It happened upon Team Minato (minus Obito) again, that night, eating a meal. It was one of those meager fish-from-stream and forest herb soups, and the three ate in a comfortable silence. Obitopede was surprised that the loud one (Gai) with the scarf had not tagged along. (This just meant that Obitopede hung around Konoha often, and witnessed several instances of "eternal rivalry" between Gai and Kakashi. Obitopede felt a tinge of remorse that it couldn't tell his good buddy Obito of these interesting stories.)

Kakashi's stomach growled, despite his grimace. Rin offered him seconds, and filled his plate, and then Minato's plate too. Obitopede watched them.

It recalled a time when it stole a delicious breakfast…

* * *

I hope that was somewhat amusing to you.

This just...yeah. I was thinking of the one time there was a centipede in my basement, so I screamed for my dad to kill it, and ran upstairs. There was one upstairs, and I screamed again, and went back into the basement, where a THIRD one was crawling along the wall. So I screamed.

And one other time, I screamed so much the centipede got scared (or something, maybe annoyed) and crawled back into the vent.

We got that entire-home bug protection/prevention stuff after that.

On a completely different note, my cat keeps trying to eat my cake, which makes me think "he'll get fat and have cavities!" which only reminds me of my horrible teeth and dentist visits - my family tends to get cavities easily... - and how I have to go back to get these cavities out. I think I have 7 little, but compared to what I had before when I was around 12, this is nothing. (No, seriously, I had nearly 12 at once...)

Uhhh...

OBITOPEDE IS COMING FOR US ALL.

It's the Juubi in disguise. XD


	11. Frosty Pancakes and Crazy Things

I don't even know what this is. It came out of the top of my head, which is very garbled at the moment, because I was fighting sleep the entire time - no, seriously, I'm nearly asleep here, nodding off...- and because I have no idea what happened here. It was random.

BEHOLD CavAlato's dangerous randomness...

It's not as good as Obitopede and his story, sorry. He makes a cameo, though. (maybe more than one?)

Uh. Here you go.

This is getting less and less about Tobirama and Mariko. I'll get back to that. Promise.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because I thought the Juubi was around the same size as the Kyuubi, just a tad bigger. I was wrong. The Kyuubi and Hachibi are the size of it's freaking Eye. Or less. That, and Obito had a flashback that only lasted one panel, it didn't involve Rin (well, it did), and he said Naruto would go evil. Besides that, there was a panel where he looked SUPER old. =3=

* * *

**Chapter 11: ****Frosty Pancakes and Crazy Things**

"Pancakes." Chiyo tapped the table. Her younger brother, Ebizo, arched a brow at her curiously.

"Pancakes?" he asked.

"Well, we don't have them in Suna, so I want some."

"We're in…the Frost Country," Ebizo told her hesitantly.

"So?" Chiyo flipped her red hair.

"Uh…" Ebizo went to find pancakes.

"Tell me again _why I'm doing this_?" Tobirama asked his brother, leaning over the Hokage desk with a pained expression on his face. He had been tasked with the job of delivering an old treasure back to the Frost Country's daimyo, and he simply didn't want to do it. First of all, it would mean greeting the daimyo, which meant greeting his daughter, which meant greeting her husband, who was Mariko's brother. It would most likely start with something along the lines of "Snowball! You've made it! You blend _right in _with our country's landscape, I didn't even notice you!" and some other references to the Frost Country's snow with Tobirama's hair.

Secondly, it would also mean passing all those native Frost villagers, some of which claimed he was their Wolf God in human form and tried to keep him captive. Well, it had been more like they tried to tie him down and get him to accept their offerings. Tobirama supposed that if they treated him like a deity, or a king, he would've been fine, but they had basically mauled him and then some priest threw corn in his hair.

"Because your team's one of the only available ones," Hashirama answered, "and Toka swears that if I send her on another D-rank, she'll cut off all my hair among other things."

"Still!" Tobirama continued spluttering, especially at Toka's characteristic refusal to maintain a boring mission schedule.

"I don't get why you're so adamant against everything I assign," Hashirama sighed exasperatedly. He carefully flipped through a few more mission requests, and saw none that suited Team Tobirama more than this one at the moment.

"Not everything," Tobirama muttered, crossing his arms.

"Well, most things. Anyway, please just go to the Frost."

"I'll do it on one condition," Tobirama bargained.

"What?" Hashirama rubbed his temples, trying to massage the pounding headache from his skull. Tobirama's insistent refusals only irritated him more, and the echoing slap of pain rang loudly in his ears.

"You let me go to Mada—"

"No."

"Hash, you didn't even let me finish the sentence." Tobirama pouted. It was as if they were kids again, not even ten years old, and the younger Senju was making the puppy face at him. Tobirama was not a little boy anymore, and Hashirama found it painfully not-cute. It just didn't work with the grown man.

"I knew exactly what you were going to say," Hashirama reasoned. "Just take it, I'll owe you one."  
"…Fine." Tobirama snatched the mission description from his brother, eyes running over the scroll briefly. "You owe me _big_ time."

Hashirama waved wearily.

* * *

So Tobirama ended up going to the Frost country, but not without dragging Mariko along for some reason. Maybe it was for self-defense.

"And so I grabbed the guy's sword," Hiruzen was saying. "It was _this long_."

He held his hands out to emphasize, brandishing a kunai as if for dramatic effect. Koharu effectively tuned out her teammate's rambling, and stared into space. Well, actually, it was more like she stared at Tobirama, but no one besides Homura really noticed.

"And then I slashed him across the chest!" Hiruzen whipped his kunai out in front of him, making whoosh noises to depict his actions.

"That's great," Tobirama deadpanned.

"No, sensei. It's not." Hiruzen stared at his teacher, dead serious.

"Why not?"

"Because he used a _replacement jutsu_!" Hiruzen added a "duh!" as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and as if his story made the most sense in the world and everyone should've figured it out.

"I wish I could replacement jutsu _you_," Koharu snapped.

"Don't be silly, you can't replace me!" Hiruzen laughed. Homura wanted to facepalm, but at the moment, he was edging away from a steaming Koharu. "Anyway, I was talking about baby names for some reason, and you know what would be a great name?"

"What?" they all asked flatly.

"Asuma!" Hiruzen nodded to himself.

"Asuma?" Tobirama, to be honest, would've named his kid (or grandkid) something cooler…like Sakumo.

"Yep! Or Konohamaru. Maybe I'll save that for a grandkid."

"If you have any," Koharu sneered.

"Someone's moody," Hiruzen sang. "Maybe it's her time of the—"

Koharu slapped Hiruzen across the face and sent him sprawling in the frosted grass. He shut up for the time being.

* * *

Chiyo had her fill of pancakes, but was interrupted by the local parish priest who claimed that he'd seen the Wolf God leading his pack through the forest trails. A number of hotel staff clamored excitedly, crowding around the front desk. Chiyo just wanted the rest of her breakfast, and then she and Ebizo would be checking out to continue traveling to the capital. But no, some "Wolf God" had to skip on by and waste her time, because there was no way she was getting checked out any time soon. Seriously, there wasn't even a person at the front desk. They were all outside watching for the "Wolf God".

"Oh, Wolf God, mighty lupine deity!" the priest sang, his followers chanting as he spun in a circle tossing fistfuls of corn around him. The maize clattered onto the rocky ground with a consistent clatter, and the hotel staff crooned the fallen pieces of corn. Chiyo blanched.

"Appear, oh great Wolf!" the people sang. Chiyo wondered if all of Frost was this insane. "Banish the Centipede from our land!" Now, what? An evil centipede? Okay, was this Wolf God a god, or a hero? "Banish the Centipede from the Five Great Nations and secure our future!" They were preaching for the five countries, excluding themselves? That made _total_ sense, Chiyo thought sarcastically.

"Nee-san, we should get going."

"I _know_, Ebizo. I'm trying." Chiyo ground her teeth together, irritated.

The priest began singing something, and then he paraded off into the direction of the town center, leaving the hotel staff still chatting animatedly, but thankfully returning to their posts.

* * *

"Seriously, again?!" Tobirama snapped, as corn was thrown on his head.

"You've appeared, mighty one!" the priest shouted, shaking what looked like a handful of corn stalks and the corn itself. Mariko glanced at Tobirama, confused. As far as she knew, Frost Country didn't practice any religion, but this priest was obviously crazy about some Wolf God. Well, given that Tobirama _did_ resemble an arctic wolf, Mariko could see the resemblance, but the people here were crazy.

"Tobirama-sensei, you're magical?" asked Hiruzen.

"I'm not sure magical is the right word." Homura nodded, pushed his glasses up his nose, and nodded again.

"I'm leaving." Koharu randomly made off away from the town center.

"We are too." The group began running, Tobirama in the lead.

"Watch the mighty Wolf God lead his pack!"

* * *

Koharu ran headfirst into a redhead girl, and they both fell backwards onto the hard ground. Rubbing her forehead, Koharu glared at whoever had dared get in her way, and found herself in a staring contest with Chiyo.

"Watch where you're going," Chiyo scoffed.

"You watch it," Koharu retorted. The two began arguing, throwing out nasty village insults among other profane language, until Mariko and Homura, along with Ebizo, dragged the two apart. Ebizo apologized multiple times before running away from his older sister, who continually slapped at him and told him to let her go or else he'd get it.

"Koharu, don't cause trouble," Tobirama reprimanded, pulling up his jacket hood to cover his "Wolf God" hair.

"I didn't."

"…Let's just go."

* * *

Eventually, they made it to the capital, delivered the old treasure, and were about to hightail it back to Konoha, but ran into both Chiyo and Katsurou again.

"You're that Konoha girl," spat Chiyo. A string of insults began to follow, and Koharu mercilessly fired back with her own word arsenal.

"Snowball, please control your children!" Katsurou drawled. "I worry for my future nieces and nephews. By the way, have you worked on making any yet?"

Tobirama glared at his brother-in-law, momentarily forgetting the squabbling children in front of him.

"I would, but you keep threatening me. It's kind of contradictory, don't you think?" It was true; Katsurou threatened to do things similar to that of Toka, should Tobirama try anything with his sister. "We're married, you know."

"That's exactly why I worry," Katsurou grinned.

Tobirama swore to himself, and as if she could hear him, Mariko slapped his shoulder. Hashirama was definitely paying big time for this mission.

* * *

Hashirama sneezed.

* * *

(An insanely large centipede, startled, hastily crawled away from the Hokage Tower's window.)

* * *

Uhhh...that was so bad. Do you see how it snowballed at the end into a disaster?

I could call it...the Fourth Great Fanfiction Word War. /shot

(4th...or 5th...or 6th...who knows.)

Sorry. But still, lol. OBITOPEDE!


	12. Once Upon a Time

What is this. More top of the head overflow?

Why depressing?!

Includes: Death, nameless children, faulty Naruto timeline (well, that seems normal...), rambling, no-plot no jutsu, etc etc.

Disclaimer: Naruto doesn't belong to me, because of this faulty timeline. Oh wait, it already has a faulty timeline. I just made it so that Tobirama had more time with his kids, okay?! (Whoa, kids?!)

* * *

**Chapter 12: ****Once Upon a Time...**

Mariko strokes Tenzou the cat's ears, and the dark tabby purrs deeply in her arms, warm and comfortable. There is a clatter as Mariko's daughter dropped the plate with a startled yelp, the fine china splitting into multiple shards, but the cat's only response is his a flicker of his ears towards the noise. The girl's mother remains unmoving for a few moments.

"Mama?" The girl is only six years old. She waits for her mother to say something, to scold her. Mariko turns to look at her daughter, who bites her lips and glances down at the broken plate in shame. The girl waits for her mother to snap angrily and repeat the importance of being careful with delicate plates. Her mother says nothing.

Mariko looks at her daughter wistfully. She has her father's hair, and her father's eyes. Their son has her own blue hair, but also her father's eyes. When she looks at them, she remembers him.

Mariko is not old.

She is simply the age of a woman married to a shinobi, shinobi who risk their lives daily for their villages and families. There is a certain risk that comes with marrying a ninja, and Mariko has always known it. She will teacher her daughter the consequences. Maybe the girl will marry a peaceful townsman and live happily ever after. Even if she doesn't, Mariko will teach her to enjoy as much time as possible.

"Mama?" she repeats.

"It's fine, baby. Just get the broom and dustpan," Mariko answers lightly. The young girl hurriedly rushes to the broom closet, carefully picking her way around the broken shards, but Mito beats her to it. Her aunt pulls out the broom and hands it to the little girl, whilst casting a concerned glance at Mariko. It's been two months, but Mariko still sits in silence. Mito remembers the time when she, too, locked herself in her own room and refused to emerge when Hashirama died.

Tenzou the cat jumps away from Mariko, pushing off her lap and making his way outside, to his favorite tree.

"Mom?" A young, blue-haired boy stands at the doorway and lets the cat out. "Uncle Hiruzen wants to know if you'd like to have lunch with him and Auntie Biwako."

Mariko glances up at her son, sees his piercing garnet eyes. He's the spitting image of his father, just with her own hair on his head.

"Tell him that he is kind to offer, but no thank you," she answers rather flatly. Mito interrupts her.

"Mariko, you need to get out," she insists. "You can't stay here forever. You remember what almost happened to me, right?"

Mariko remembers. But she also remembers his bloody hands and his pale face as she held him in his last moments, just after he finished off his twenty enemies to save his team. She had tried to figure out why it had been twenty shinobi; twenty shinobi from the Cloud that had finished him off, and not a powerful legend like a traitorous Uchiha. He had not died gloriously, but neither had his brother. Mariko reasons with herself—perhaps it was better to die this way, silently and nobly. She also reminds herself constantly that he had not been finished off—he had finished off the enemy, for his team, and the "king" of Konoha he vowed to protect. He was protecting Hiruzen, and Homura, and Koharu, and the rest of his name. He protected Konoha's children, and ultimately his own, till the very end.

She remembers everything. When their first son was born, he cried "thank you, thank you" to her until he fell asleep on the hospital bed alongside his exhausted wife and newborn child.

She remembers his shock and depression upon his brother's death.

She remembers Mito's nearly suicidal seclusion from the world. She knows that if she and Tobirama had not been there, Mito would've gone to join her husband, without a thought for their single child, the Kyuubi, or their grandchildren.

"Mariko," Mito says again. Mariko's son is still waiting at the doorway, shielding himself from the chilling breeze.

"Tell him I'll see him there, then," Mariko decides, nodding at her son, who runs off to tell the Third Hokage his mother's decision. Mariko thinks of the Hokage Office, now occupied by a young man who still struggled with the shock of his appointment.

"You should go for a walk, you've been inside for too long." Mito guides her outside, and they begin a peaceful walk around the Senju complex. Her daughter has finished cleaning up, and follows her mother outside, small hands clutching Mariko's dress. Mariko pats her daughter's white hair and draws her close.

"Mama, what's that? Next to Daddy's face," she says suddenly. The girl is pointing at the Hokage Mountain, where Hiruzen's head is in the process of being carved next to his predecessors' faces.

"It's Uncle Hiruzen's face," Mariko informs her softly. "He's the Hokage now."

"Like Daddy and Uncle Hashirama?"

"That's right." Mariko, her daughter, and Mito stop at a small lake, with a sparkling surface reflecting the faces of the Hokage.

"Why aren't you and Auntie Mito up there?"

"We're not Hokage, that's why."

The little girl frowns at this.

"But you're just as important, right?" She smiles, and Mariko leans down to kiss her daughter's cheek, smiling back.

"She's right," Mito comments. "We were the Hokage's support in the background."

Mito reminisces with Mariko, both of them staring wistfully over the lake. However, Mito turns to observe Mariko, who watches the gentle wind create soft, lapping waves for a moment longer. She assumes that even the sight of the body of water makes her remember Tobirama.

"Mama?" The girl is confused now, watching her mother's eyes cloud over, staring over the lake. "Mama, Daddy was strong, right? That's why he was Hokage?"

"Yes, your Daddy was very strong," Mariko whispers hoarsely, an unbidden tear slipping down her cheek.

The girl's confusion changes to a smile.

"Daddy always told Mama not to cry, right? Mama should smile." The girl wraps her arms around her mother's neck, burying her face into the familiar blue hair and maternal scent.

Mariko smiles gently, holding her daughter to her tightly, watching the Hokage Mountain.

Maybe it is the sun playing a trick, but from where she kneels by the lake, it looks as if Tobirama's face is shaped into a smile, watching over them.

"Mama, will you tell me a story about you and Daddy?" the little girl asks later. She recalls her father during her younger years, a tall man with large hands to scoop her up when he came home from work, but she's only six years old, and wants to know some of the things her older brother might have experienced. She knows a few things, like Mariko as a princess and her father as the Hokage, along with a few other things here and there. She can name each of her many relatives, aunts, uncles, and even Uncle Hashirama, whom she recognizes in all the pictures. "Mama was like the princess in a fairy tale, right?"

Mito pauses in her home cleaning, gauging Mariko's reaction. To her relief, Mariko doesn't sigh and brush her daughter away as she did the week before, unwilling and unable to recall memories of her beloved. Mariko had locked herself away for a long time, briefly appearing for his funeral, before breaking down in front of all of Konoha, clutching his retrieved hitai-ate and Hokage's belongings. In the end, when Hiruzen slowly approached her, she had stood solemnly, and placed the Hokage's hat decisively on his head. Hiruzen remained with his head bowed until Mariko walked past him, and away from the funeral proceedings. She then ran into the forest and cried for a day, a young girl lost in a foreign country again.

Mariko considers the question carefully, and decides that perhaps sharing would relieve some of her hurt. She picks a suitable story, one dreamlike enough to fit the fairy tale standards of her daughter. After all, her parents were not just normal people: They were the heart of Konoha.

"Of course," she finally says, settling her daughter on her lap. She looks into the ruby eyes that reflect Tobirama back to her. A twinge of grief wrings through her, tight and quivering with sorrow. Mariko sees Tobirama smiling at her again, and swallows her anguish. She swallows her fears and her doubts and her sorrows, all things that have not resurfaced since her mother died many years ago, and she was sent to Konoha on an arranged marriage deal. It was because of Tobirama that she was happy. Mariko was not afraid anymore. She accepted the life of a shinobi, accepted her role as a wife and mother, and promised Tobirama that she would never be afraid of life again. She, too, was the Hokage, and she had a family to take care of.

"Once upon a time…"

* * *

Happily. Ever. After.

Not really. You'd think that an OC gets a happily ever after, but Tobirama obviously dies, and I apparently cause my OC mental anguish by sending her to Kumogakure because she snuck there to follow his mission, but ends up seeing him die somehow?

Uh.

-unnamed children, still-

This made me depressed...

Maybe I should've added some Obitopede to spoil the mood.


	13. Does the World Dream?

Whoa-hohohohoho. I don't know what happened here.

It went from Mariko having a nightmare to...

Uh. You'll have to read it. Anyway, longest chapter yet...-sigh- sorry, guys. XD

LOL! This is why this story is titled "Blue Hair and Green Eyes...and other not so normal things" as a whole...it's all for the "other not so normal things!" ...Like Obitopede!

In any case, Mariko DOES have a nightmare, and it's just as confusing as you read it to be, because dreams usually make no sense, right? Nightmares even less so. Seriously, I had a nightmare (portions of it were just dreams, while others were nightmares) where I was chased by Barney, fell off a cliff, then drove up a mountain, witnessed giant strawberries roaming the land, part of the land was a colossal kitty litter box, this girl from my middle school multiplied by 3 and started hitting golf balls at me with hockey sticks, my bus split into two, there was a Barbie fashion show (when I was like...2, okay?), and I ran out of mango pudding while Kisame grew fins and Itachi was a flying fish.

Phew.

Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto, because Rin would be alive. Somehow. Obito-style!

Also, Ramen no Otoko (totally a pun on kamen no otoko, the masked man XD) will rule the world with his Obitopede.

Random note: GAHHH doesn't keep my formatting! -flipdesk-

* * *

**Chapter 13: ****Does the World...Dream?**

She had a dream where a man crawled, near-death, into a cave far, far away. He dragged himself to a dry area inside the large cavern, hugging himself, shivering though it was not at all cold. He left a trail of blood behind him, an obvious sign of his path, but he didn't care. He studied the thing between his fingers. A strand of brown hair, nearly invisible in the darkness. Rotating the hair, he studied it weakly. In that moment, he knew he had "it".

She did not know what "it" was, but the man smiled ominously. The hair dissolved between his thumb and his finger, and a deep, breathy laugh shook silently in his lungs, his lips curled into a dry, ugly smile.

"I have it, and I am alive," he said.

There was a blur, and then the man reappeared again, still in the cave, but much older. His now-white hair, long enough to obscure his back, now shone slightly in the little light the caverns admitted.

"I have it," he muttered hoarsely again and again, drawing himself onto a bench made of rock. Now, however, the cavern was not empty. A gigantic monument sat behind him, but it was too blurry and too dark to really tell what it was. The man waited for a very long time, silence engulfing him as he seemed to be asleep. Eventually, he began wheezing, and he dug his hands into the rock statue, and pulled out long cords. The tubes seemed to grow alive as they latched onto him, and the man's labored breathing eased just a bit. Settling back on his stone bench, he waited again.

Looking up, as she dreamed, she saw human figures dangling from what looked like roots of trees. Two bodies, in particular, dropped from the ceiling of the cavern and landed lightly on the cold stone floor. One had a face like a spiral, and the other a person-like face with beastly sharp teeth, a humanoid monster. The spiral one sat down, as if contemplating, while the other watched the man drift off to sleep, tired.

Later, the spiral one would ask the man:

"Why do you sit there?"

And the man would reply:

"I am waiting."

"Waiting for what?" asked the spiral one.

"This world's hero."

"The hero?" asked the regular-faced figure.

"Yes. If he does not come, I will be the hero."

"You? But you can hardly move," said spiral-face.

"That's why I am waiting."

"There's been rumbling overhead," the spiral one said one day.

"They are fighting," the more humanlike one replied.

Then, just as those two had dropped from the ceiling, another figure tumbled down. Only this time, it was not from one of the roots in the earth, but from the earth itself. If there was a sky, then he fell from the sky. His body was covered with blood, his right side, at least, and his black hair stuck to his forehead in pained, cold sweat.

He had no left eye.

"The hero has come," the man announced, slowly rising from his seat. "He has come to save this world."

And then there he was, the boy who fell from the sky. She saw him clearly, standing upon a plain stretch of land. And there, there was Hashirama! She saw Hashirama in her dream!

It looked like Hashirama, but the First Hokage's image faded away, leaving only a man and a woman. The man had silvery hair, only a shade darker than Tobirama's, and the girl was a brunette. Maybe she had mistaken the girl for Hashirama in the distance, seeing their long brown hair.

"You look different," said the silver-haired man.

"That's because this is your imagination," the girl replied. She drew a kunai from her pouch and gathered her long hair in her left hand. Without hesitation, she cut it off so that it was around shoulder length. "This is what you remember."

When the girl turned, she had rectangular, purple tattoos imprinted on her cheeks. The dreamer felt that she should remember this face. The silverette shook his head.

"I remember," he whispered hoarsely, as if almost crying.

The boy who fell from the sky approached them.

"Then you will forget," he stated simply, drawing a long knife. "Neither of you exist in this world." The silver-haired man didn't turn, even as the boy from the sky lifted his arm and stood in front of him and the girl.

The dreamer wanted to call out. Was he going to kill them? That was not what a hero was supposed to do.

"I remember," the man repeated, "I remember everything."

"Then you shall repent in this world," said the boy. For some reason, the boy was still a boy, and not an adult.

"I remember your voice," said the silver-haired man. He pointed at the girl. "I remember her, but not like this."

The girl was a woman, and her expression fell upon this. She fingered her choppily cut hair, and then glanced at the boy.

"You will never love me," she said sadly.

"Because you're not real," replied the man. The boy's eyes flickered between the two of them, watching carefully. The man glared at the boy from the sky. He had one regular eye, and one crimson one, which matched that of the boy's. "You're not real either."

"I am very real." The boy took a step closer, and suddenly he was a man, as tall as the silverette and as dark as the man in the cave. His right hand tightened around the short sword, his skin emanating the same feeling as the man in the cave who had rejoiced as he lay there, dying. He rejoiced because he knew he had "it", and he could live on.

"You are not real. I didn't remember you like this," the silver-haired one said, retreating a step. "You two aren't like this."

"Because no matter what I did, you never loved me," said the woman. She glanced at the dark-haired man, wielding the sword. "And you never accepted him, no matter what he did."

"I did. In the end. Both of you, I loved you both, you were important to me, I—"

"You're lying." The woman stepped away from both of them. "You never loved me, anyway, because you were afraid of losing me, too."

"I _did_ love you," the silver-headed man insisted. The dreamer could see a bead of sweat run down his temple and soak into the navy fabric of his mask. The dark-haired man from the sky brandished his blade, and pointed it at the silver one.

"She's right." He pushed the tip of the blade so that it was resting on the silver's chest, gleaming in the light that seemed to come from nowhere in the dream. The woman tried to grab the hand holding the blade, tried to tell the dark-haired man that there was no need to resort to violence, that they could all exist together without a problem, but her hand slipped straight through his arm. The dark-haired man turned slightly, revealing his only eye surrounded by scarred skin. "See? You _are_ right, you only have to realize it."

"You're the one who is wrong," said the silver man, pushing the knife away.

"I'm saving you both," insisted the man from the sky. His voice nearly returned to that of the boy again, slightly lost but determined, and always full of grief.

"You're saving no one. She—" he pointed at the woman, "—is dead, and _you_ are just a ghost. You don't exist."

"I exist. She exists with me. You're trying to lie to yourself."

"I'm not lying. I never lie to the people important to me, and I don't against my word. I'm protecting both of you," replied the light one.

"See? There it is, you're lying again."

"How am I lying?"

"You don't keep to your words! Especially not with those important to you. You _throw them away!_" hissed the man with the marred face, pulling his sword up again. The silver one backed away, hands up, trying to console his seemingly insane partner.

"I never meant to hurt anyone. You're supposed to rest in peace, now. Please Obit—"

"_You let her die!_" The scarred man thrust the knife at his lighter counterpart, but was obstructed—the woman had thrown herself in front of the knife, and had been impaled through the midsection. Blood poured from the wound and trickled from her mouth at an agonizingly slow pace, as she bent over and clutched the dark one's hand, hacking painfully.

The dark-haired man quickly withdrew his sword, and let it drop to the ground with a loud clatter. It clinked, as if it was metal against metal, despite falling against solid dirt. The dreamer heard it rattle and roll away, despite the contradictory shape.

"Why did you do that?!" demanded the dark-haired one, and the silver one repeated something along those lines.

"It's because," the woman began, wiping a stream of blood from her lips to clear her speech, "I…always loved you."

She didn't specify which one.

"See what you made me do?" said the dark-haired man. He turned on the other man, his red eye swirling into a shape that reminded the dreamer of someone she used to know. His eyes were as potent as that of the man and his blind brother, eyes that sought hatred and burned all that existed.

The man from the cave appeared, then. He placed his hands softly on the scarred one's shoulders, and gently pushed him forward, that ominous smile on his face again. His mouth widened into a maniacal grin that showed all of his teeth. However, within a moment, he closed his face into a stoic, arrogant expression, and backed away. The dreamer recognized him then; the smug, condescending attitude, eyes slightly narrowed as he glared at all from beneath his wild mane of hair.

The dreamer never got to see what happened to the silver one. She didn't even hear the sound of a knife slashing through skin, no sounds of battle, a fight, nothing. Not even the woman's body slumping to the ground with a fleshy thud. She didn't hear it, but she saw the woman, shrunk into a girl whose heart had been impaled, rather than her stomach.

"Uh oh. Looks like _someone is watching_," said the man of the cave. "It's been a while, hasn't it? What a surprise."

The man from the cave was suddenly moving very quickly, towards the dreamer. The dreamer tried to scream, but her voice had no volume, and at some points in time, she couldn't even see or feel her hands. The corners of her vision were hazy, and the two other men had already disappeared. The girl was staring at her now, her mouth moving slightly.

"Run."

The dreamer could not turn, and the man from the cave was nearly upon her.

"You saw how I waited so long, didn't you?" he asked, the grin returning to his features. "You saw everything. I couldn't move, so I let you live. You know that?"

_Get away_!

The dreamer's voice was useless. She backed away, since she couldn't see to the left, right, or behind her, trusting that there was land beneath her feet.

"Be careful, or you'll fall. I'll make you forget everything you've ever seen. You'll forget what your own hands look like," the man hissed. "Just like my brother did. That's it."

The dreamer knew his name, but she couldn't remember it. No, not in this state.

"I'll make _that man _suffer! He's dead, too, but I'll make him suffer in other ways! I'll make his brother suffer, and his wife, and all of those related to him! I'll kill them off one by one until they're all gone! You'll see. Because you've seen too much, you see?"

He was insane.

The dreamer felt she could turn and run now, but he was grabbing her shoulder with a blurry hand and in his other he produced a knife, and dull light flashed on the blade before it came down on the dreamer, and she screamed.

She screamed.

There was a horrible pain in her eyes, first cold, then hot, then liquid and boiling. She couldn't see anything, and her eyes were only sunken sockets, her hands now able to come up to touch her face, but still useless; she couldn't see them anyways.

"Forget that you can see."

The man touched her forehead.

* * *

"Forget that you exist."

* * *

Mariko was screaming, and Tobirama awoke with a start. He grabbed her shoulders and tried shaking her awake, but she only clawed at her eyes and tried pushing her away. The Senju called her name and fiercely hugged her to his chest to prevent any further thrashing and kicking. Her screams were muffled into his chest, and soon, they subsided, and Mariko's small body went limp.

"Mariko?" Tobirama brushed her hair out of her face, and felt her skin was slightly damp with sweat, and she was terrified. Her eyes were wide open now, and her fingers clutched around his shoulders tightly. He petted her hair for a moment, keeping her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead and murmuring little nothings to comfort her. He drew the covers closely around them, hoping to stop her sudden shivering. After a few minutes, Mariko relaxed completely, forehead pressed into the crook of Tobirama's shoulder.

"Nightmare?" Tobirama asked. She hadn't been sleeping well, recently.

"Yeah."

"The same one?"

"Yeah. Though this time, he got me." The last part she said quietly, almost inaudibly. Tobirama frowned. From her descriptions, there were several different characters in this dream, and as far as he knew, a woman had been killed. After that, a man had noticed her, and now he'd gotten her?

"He got you?"

"He gouged my eyes out and told me to—" Mariko withdrew into the covers, unable to continue. She touched her eyes, just to make sure they were still there. "Told me to forget that I exist."

"Well, you exist, all right. I'm sure of it. If you know that I exist, then you know that you do too," Tobirama answered gently, wrapping his arms around her small frame.

"I know who he was."

"You do?" Tobirama had tried to help her figure who was in her dreams. It seemed for sure that the other three were unidentifiable, but the one man who always noticed her always seemed to strike a few chords in her memories. He seemed oddly familiar to Tobirama, too, but her dreams were too vague to put a finger on it. Tobirama had always suspected that it was a dark man from her past, maybe a family member gone crazy. He had also begun to fear that the man was actually himself, and that she dreamed that he was killing her all the time. Now that she knew, he wondered who it was, because she hadn't run away from him in terror…

She nodded, turning her face to stare at the ceiling of their room.

"He was alive, and lived a long time. And then, he made some plan to become young again and take over the world."

"Who was it?" Tobirama wondered now, who would be crazy enough to take over the world. Her descriptions made him sound insane, almost bipolar—one moment maniacal, the next moment, stoic and serious with a cold and calculating stare. Just as easily, this unknown man would hop back into the loopy bin and then proceeded to kill people. This time, he gouged out Mariko's eyes. Tobirama cringed at the thought, and thought of how painful taking one's eyes out would be…

…Eyes… Tobirama frowned. Taken out?

He had a feeling he knew who this man was as well, and cursed the dead man for continually bringing pain to the Senju.

"It was Madara, wasn't it?" Tobirama inquired, his voice dripping with loathing.

Mariko nodded solemnly, touching her husband's hand. He obliged and intertwined fingers with her, holding their hands between them.

"He's dead now, so don't worry anymore," Tobirama reassured her. "If anything happens, I'll protect you. Anything or anyone that wishes to harm you will do it over my dead body."

Mariko smiled a little bit at this, relieving Tobirama slightly. Comforted, the two of them held each other close, trying to get back to sleep. Tobirama knew for a fact that when it came to Mariko, he wouldn't die so easily. He closed his eyes, inhaling the slightly green tea flavored scent of her hair, and drifted to sleep. Mariko remained awake for a few moments longer, knowing that she had purposely remained silent because she hadn't wanted to tell him.

Instead, she thought it miserably to herself.

_Madara is alive_.

* * *

And then there was a clattering outside their window, and Mariko shifted to look. She thought she saw the shadows of several jointed legs skittering away from the glass pane, but dismissed it as a hallucination from her still confused, terrified dream state. The blunette rested her head on Tobirama's arm, her body curled around him and relishing his warmth. The warmth assured her that he would keep the dreams away, at least for another night. Mariko vowed that she would rid herself of these dreams; Madara had no right to inflict pain on them, and he would not get the best of her. Not now, and not ever.

* * *

The hundred-legged being clattered down to the place, a hole in the earth where its master lived in silence. Being an abnormally large bug, the creature made its way carefully back to the cavern to hide its presence. This was a different country's territory, after all.

"Did you deliver my message?" its master asked.

The bug chattered animatedly, pleased to have finished its task.

"Well done." The master shifted on his seat.

"Perhaps tomorrow, or the day after, we'll show her how Hashirama died, eh? It's too bad he _killed_ me first." The master laughed, and again, the bug hopped excitedly, front legs clicking together to express its delight.

"I don't know how you delivered my message in that dream, but you seem to be rather proud of it. Tell me, what did you send? I hope I was included. Oh, so I was alive?"

The bug slithered up the wall, tapping it with its hundred feet, clicking and chattering and shooting from one corner of the cavern to the other.

"You can tell the future, you say? Well, that's interesting." The master chuckled. "No matter. I can easily tell the future. It's called…

"_The End_."

* * *

Madara opened his eyes. The boy was sleeping peacefully on the bed. It seemed that his dear centipede had, in fact, foretold the future. He only recalled briefly what the centipede had showed him of the dream, and then the bug's short moment of watching Tobirama try to comfort his wife, through the window. Other than that, Madara was sure that the little blunette and her Senju husband were fretting. Sooner or later, they would realize that he would always haunt them to torture the Senju. It was too bad that Mito's seals soon prevented ugly nightmares like that from entering the town. Obitopede himself had been stopped in his tracks at the Fire Country border, Mito's seals were so potent.

"Madara." The boy turned now, and tested his new arm. "Are you awake?"

Madara had closed his eyes, though, and appeared asleep again.

"Madara," the boy repeated, "I'm going to leave."

The boy sighed. Even threats of leaving didn't work. The old man knew well enough that the young Uchiha was not yet well enough to bust out of the old cavern. He could hardly walk as he was, already. The swirl-face one sat the foot of the boy's bed, watching him curiously. Zetsu just smiled.

"Whatever," the boy scoffed. "G'night, guys."

"Night, Obito," Zetsu and the swirl-faced one replied in unison.

However, Madara saw that the boy had not fallen asleep, but was staring at him instead. He knew that the boy noticed, already, that Madara was awake.

_I'm leaving_, he mouthed, eye narrowed as he frowned fiercely. Madara widened his Sharingan eye at the younger one, intending to teach him something.

Teach him what? That he would thank him, and thank him well he would. He would not leave without a price.

_I can give this back to you_. Madara's whisper shimmered like a dream over to the boy, who shuddered. An image of himself appeared in his head, a healthy, young Uchiha with his team.

_I can get it back myself!_ The boy snapped the image out of his brain.

Madara smiled, a slightly eerie expression.

He would learn.

* * *

Leave, eh? The boy was sure to return, and Madara knew it. It was only a matter of time until he learned that there was no such thing as true peace, and that in order to bring back those lost, he had to follow Madara. He could hear the boy's wails of agony, and he easily used Zetsu to see that his so-called "love" had been killed. Madara watched the wood branch from the boy's body, satisfied that he had chosen the right "hero". The right heir, in a way.

"That's why I'm back," the boy finished matter-of-factly after his story.

"You didn't kill that other boy. Sympathy for an old teammate?" Madara rasped through old, dry lips.

"No. It doesn't matter, he'll exist in the next world, anyways."

Madara was satisfied. This was the boy he had waited for. The earth itself had given the boy to him. He taught the young Uchiha how to create a dream world, along with as much as the boy could possibly learn about the Sage of the Six Path's techniques, with his Senju and Uchiha body.

"We can make anything we want," Madara said, his old, hoarse voice morphing into that of a young man as he appeared youthful in front of the boy, who stared at him in wonder. "This time, I really _can_ give this back to you."

He morphed, in the dream world, a girl. No blood, no tears, no scars on her heart.

She opened her mouth to say the boy's name.

* * *

Obito's eyes snapped open, then. He paused, longing to hear Rin say his name a last time before he set off. However, he was disgruntled that he had fallen asleep, and shifted against the tree he had leaned against a few hours ago. What was happening now? Ah, yes.

"Time for a new mask," he said to himself, fingering the broken orange one that was the same as swirl-man's face. One had been broken off in Konan's blast of paper bombs as he began sucking them in with Kamui, and the other side he'd snapped off himself to use Izanagi. As for his right arm, which was also blown off, he would have no difficulty growing it back with more of Hashirama's cells. He'd snapped the arm off while fighting Danzo's underlings, and he had no problem losing it again. The first time, it had taken months and months of training to build his strength again, but "Tobi" had mastered all the tricks of his trade by now.

_Time for a new mask? You're getting slow, Obito. It's time for a new world._

Obito shook his head, and brushed the voice away, heading back towards his base, where no doubt Kabuto was probably snooping around, while White Zetsu complained and Black Zetsu—the old man's will—grumbled darkly.

_Getting old?_

"Not as old as you, Madara."

* * *

**NARUTO-CEPTION.**

It's a dream, within a dream, within a dream.

No, Madara doesn't dream about Tobirama hugging Mariko (lol). That part's real life.

-mindblown!- (not really)

I wonder if the world dreams, sometimes. If it just witnesses bits and portions of its inhabitant's dreams, at a speed faster than light.

Well, I also wonder if Obitopede dreams. XD

Oh, and two clicks of its front feet plus a happy dance is "I LOVE YOU MASTER MADARA!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, this was VERY weird. Hope you thought it a bit interesting, though.


	14. Babysitting

Why is this so long? (for me, anyway, haha)

Something that actually has more to do with Tobirama and Mariko than Obito and Madara! -yaaay-

Hey guys, thanks so much for the reviews! You make my day :D -hug- Sorry if I didn't reply to all of them, but it made me happy just to see that you guys enjoy these! And yes, Obitopede shall make his reappearance... I also had fun with Naruto-ception, that was so weird. It was like the time Mariko said "MADARA-ception!" and Mito thought that was just so wrong (it is, if you think about it...-shudders-).

**NOTE:**I am SUPER aware of the inaccurate timeline in this. NOTHING lines up. Then again, what part of Naruto's timeline really lines up? (laughs) Like when Tsunade is shown with Hashirama, he seriously looks like he's 30. Then again, Tsunade's fifty years old, now, but looks 20 years younger than she really is.

Explanation? SENJU DON'T AGE. Okay.

Besides that, I even confused myself by adding Mariko's second child in there, when I only intended to have her first. Oh well. Now both of them are in there. They're both toddlers/infants, soooo...it's all good, they have very little role.

By timelines not lining up, I mean Hash's granddaughter being older than Tobirama's son. What is that. WHAT IS THAT. Does that make Tobirama SUPER OLD or does that mean Hashirama was SUPER YOUNG when he had his kid? _What is a timeline?!_

Uh. So, just ignore the fact that my Naruto timeline is an epic fail, and enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: Naruto's not mine, because DO YOU SEE THIS TIMELINE?!

* * *

**Chapter 14:** **Babysitting**

If Tobirama thought that coughing and hiding in the bed made for a good "I'm-sick-and-can't-do-anything-for-you" cover-up, then he was wrong.

"Seriously, sensei, _please_?" Hiruzen begged.

"Didn't Mariko—" cough, "—tell you guys that—" cough, "—I'm sick today?" cough.

"Uh. No." Hiruzen leaned against his old teacher's doorway, staring at the mass that was Tobirama trying to conceal himself under the comforter. Hiruzen was probably twenty something, now, and was tasked with an early team…because Hashirama's kid had a kid early too, and voilà! Tsunade was his job now, along with a pale kid who always wanted to learn new jutsu, and a child that looked more like a human cotton ball.

No, it wasn't a team. It was babysitting. They were like, 6 years old.

"Sensei, Tsunade _won't listen to me_," Hiruzen explained. "Not since Hashirama-sama…"

"Sorry, Saru. Can't do anything for you now, it's been a year or so already, figure it out yourself."

"You're her _great-uncle._" Hiruzen crossed his arms.

"Don't make me sound so old," Tobirama snapped.

"I thought you were sick, sensei."

Cough, cough. "I am, Saru." Cough.

"Okay, that's it. I'll call Mito, then." Hiruzen turned and opened his mouth, prompting Tobirama to peek out of the covers. His student began hollering the first syllable of Mito's name when the white-haired Senju burst out of bed and ran over to clamp a hand over the brunet's face.

"Fine, fine! I'm not sick, okay?!" Tobirama exclaimed.

"No one ever thought you were, sensei," Hiruzen deadpanned. "I would've gotten you to help me one way or the other."

"That was dirty," Tobirama hissed, narrowing his eyes at the younger man.

"I was taught by the best." Hiruzen flashed a grin, and then made his way out of the Senju complex.

* * *

"Yeah, like, it was _that big_." Jiraiya held his arms out, his eyes following his hands' example and widening dramatically.

"What was that big?" asked Orochimaru.

"The _frog_," Jiraiya replied dramatically, emphasizing the "g" of "frog" unnecessarily. Then he added an eye roll, as if Orochimaru should've known that already.

"And?" Orochimaru was not impressed.

"It. Was. Huge!" Jiraiya leapt in the air.

Orochimaru, still not impressed, shrugged and turned to Mariko, who was trying to answer all of Tsunade's questions. Somehow, the poor blunette had gotten stuck with babysitting the three by the ramen shop while Hiruzen went to get Tobirama. The monkey had begged her to take care of them, then left without waiting for her answer. Why couldn't he just take care of his team and _she _could go get her own husband? Her grand-niece had so many questions, it was a wonder there weren't things popping out of her head. Besides that, it seemed like the only one who could get her to behave was Mito, when her parents were out of town. Mariko had no such power.

As for the other two, the human cotton ball and the skinny pale one with hair that covered the majority of his face, Mariko was concerned for them too. The one with white hair seemed to be on a constant sugar high, and he, too, asked too many questions, while the other one with the purple-ish skin around his eyes just wanted to learn jutsu. He was, what? Six years old!?

"Auntie, where's sensei?" Tsunade asked. "Has he gone to buy dango? Or has he gone to buy ramen? Where's Grandma Mito? Where's Tobirama-oji-san? He's funny. Auntie, can I have some ramen? Can you get Jiraiya to shut up? Auntie, can I have a pretzel? Auntie, do you like pretzels? Because I like pretzels. Actually, can I have some dango? Didn't sensei go to buy dango? I hope he got the kind I like, because—"

"Saru, get over here now, unless you want icicle down your throat!" snapped Mariko, interrupting the little girl's incessant stream of questions. Said monkey hauled ass and arrived in front of the blunette without further delay. Tobirama sauntered up behind his student, looking rather sour.

"That was uncharacteristically unpleasant," he commented.

"You would know." Mariko made a face at him, which he ignored, because husbands must learn to ignore lots of things. But then again, wives probably had to ignore more, because if they didn't, they would blow up in their husbands' faces and probably kill something first.

"Tobirama-oji-san! Did you know, frogs have tongues attached _backwards_?" Tsunade asked. Tobirama told her he didn't, though he wasn't sure if this was true or not. He glanced at Sarutobi, who just shrugged.

"Tobirama-sama! I have white hair! Does that make me cool?" Jiraiya danced around the Second Hokage, who should've been in his office working, but he'd called off sick. That was just perfect, because now it was more like truancy from school, and Mito would have his head for "slacking off on the job to take care of…what are you doing?!".

"Sure, snowflake." Tobirama ruffled Jiraiya's hair, and the boy nearly died of happiness. Orochimaru asked about jutsus, and all of them sort of gave him this exasperated look.

"Teach me…the Edo Tensei," he said solemnly.

Tobirama's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and he guffawed.

"That was attractive, honey." Mariko stared at him. Tobirama rolled his eyes and then straightened, and looked the boy in the eyes. Or rather, more like the one visible eye not covered by his curtain of black hair.

"That's a forbidden jutsu," he explained. "No one is allowed to learn it."

"I could bring your brother back to life." Orochimaru said all of this with a straight face. Tobirama had been expecting a Madara-like evil smile.

"Saru, will you teach your kids some respect?" he said, turning on his student.

"Hey, they're like…six years old!"

"Exactly."

* * *

By the time they got their ramen (they finally gave up on training them with anything, and settled on the ramen shop right next to them), Tsunade had asked at least 150 questions, and Jiraiya was on the verge of being kicked out of the shop.

"Tobirama-sama! Did you know…"

"Teach me…the summoning jutsu."

"Tobirama-oji-san, can I have those chopsticks? Auntie, can I have dango? Sensei, didn't you go get the dango? Why did you bring Tobirama-oji-san? I want the dango! Auntie, can you buy me a dress? Grandma won't buy me one, because apparently I'm too little. Tobirama-oji-san, convince Grandma that she should buy me a dress! Sensei, where's my dango? And did you know that Jiraiya doesn't know how to tie his shoes? Isn't that silly? Oh, and the other day, why did that cat have a bow on its head? And why was that lady wearing a coat? It's summer!"

"I feel so bad for you," Tobirama muttered. "I think I understand why I assigned you this." He nodded to himself, quite satisfied with himself, but also pitying Hiruzen for his daily disasters. He also understood why Mariko was so snappy now. Their own children at home made them busy enough.

"Hiruzen, explain why sensei is here."

Koharu entered the restaurant and glared at the mall, especially Hiruzen.

"I can't, Koharu. I really can't."

"You called me here!"

"Hokage-sama, aren't you sick?" Koharu glared at her old teacher, mocking him by putting emphasis on "Hokage-sama". Her eyes glinted dangerously, and it seemed like an any moment, she would whip out the needles holding her hair together and throw them at both her old teammate and her old teacher.

"You have dango on your head!"

Everyone turned to look at Jiraiya, who starting laughing hysterically, and was soon joined in by Tsunade, and even Orochimaru. Koharu now looked as if she was about to burn down the ramen shop, and Tobirama was ready to flee, because he'd already paid for the destruction of a dango shop when Hiruzen accidentally burned it down a few years back.

"Teach your cotton ball some manners, Hiruzen." Koharu glared at everyone, then, and turned on her heel.

"Hokage-sama, you should go," Hiruzen told his teacher sarcastically.

"This is all your fault, Saru," accused Tobirama. Meanwhile, Mariko, basically forgotten, sort of just meandered out of the ramen shop to leave the children in the hands of her husband and Hiruzen. To be honest, she would've preferred to have brought them to someone else, because giving three six-year-olds to her husband and his student was probably not the best idea. She worried for the sanity of those children.

Well, Mariko was on the spot for at least one of them.

Orochimaru went crazy-snake on them all and ran away from the village (not to mention trying to destroy it, too). Jiraiya became a big pervert (Mariko sometimes wondered if this came from Hiruzen, but when she thought of how Hiruzen became more perverted than he was already, Mariko would turn to glare at her husband, who would smile at her innocently) and wandered around writing "books" with his "research". Tsunade left the village and gambled her money away, to the despair of Shizune and Tonton the pig. Well, then she became Hokage, and she hated paperwork just as much as her grandfather and great-uncle and her sensei did, so that must've been normal.

"I worry for our grandniece," Mariko muttered that night. She felt Tobirama's chest rumble as he chuckled, running a hand fondly through her hair.

"You don't worry for our children?" he asked, shifting so that she could lay her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"Not as much. Our children have _me_ to protect them from you and Saru, but as for Hashirama's granddaughter and those two boys? I'm not so sure."

"That's harsh, Mariko." Tobirama smiled and wrapped an arm around her wife's shoulders. He felt her shrug, and he also saw a shadow of a smile on her face as well.

"It's true. We'll have to watch out for her, though."

"I agree. I'll defend her from all those nasty boys," Tobirama laughed.

"Too bad no one was there to protect me from you," Mariko told him, smiling now into his shirt. Tobirama lightly pinched her arm, making a face.

"Hey, we were a different story. You had no choice," he responded, trying to defend himself. "I wasn't _that _bad, was I?"

"I think we've been over this. You _were _that bad." Mariko smiled and let him press a light kiss to her lips, as if to prove that he wasn't _that bad_.

"I guess. But at least now we know that the boys won't dare take advantage of Tsu, right?" Tobirama thought of how he would scare away any suitors. He laughed inwardly at this. If Hashirama had been there, he, too, would've made a bat out of his Wood Style and chased all the boys away from his granddaughter. Well, Tobirama had a feeling that the boys would be intimidated by her lineage alone. Either that, or Tsu-chan would grow up to be the most fearsome kunoichi to have ever existed…with the exception of Mito, of course.

"You'll probably hide in every corner, and every time a boy tries to confess to her, you'll be there and scare the hair off their heads," Mariko answered.

"You never know. Maybe Mito will beat me to it," Tobirama mused.

"That would be interesting. Anyway, good night." Mariko rolled over and went to sleep.

"Night," murmured Tobirama, into Mariko's hair as he wrapped his arms around her.

* * *

The next morning, Tobirama was back in office, earning a few skeptical looks from some of the building workers.

"Weren't you ill, Hokage-sama?" some asked.

"Ah, it wasn't that bad. Just a short migraine," he answered waving it off. On the inside, he grimaced, and hoped that no one had seen him outside the day before.

Meanwhile, somehow, Hiruzen had thrown the children in custody of Mariko again. Now the blunette was _really_ pissed, because she was in charge of three overexcited six-year-olds, and at the same time, was toting her blue-haired son. The little blue baby watched her with his father's eyes, showing his pity for his poor mother with his giggly baby voice.

"BLUE BABY!" Jiraiya started laughing. For some reason, this was extremely funny, because now all three of them were squirming with laughter, the cotton ball boy rolling on the ground, clutching his stomach. Tsunade kept giggling, and then Orochimaru abruptly stopped and asked some more "can I learn THIS jutsu" questions.

"Teach me…the Ice Style," he said bluntly.

"I can't, that's a bloodline limit," Mariko informed him, a bit exasperated. He didn't seem to understand, and Mariko didn't really feel like explaining. Also, Tsunade had started off with her questions again. She had, in addition to her nonstop mouth, also accidentally swung her arm and somehow made a hole in the fence.

Jiraiya began laughing again.

"Teach me…the Wood Style," Orochimaru said this time.

"I wrecked it!" cried Tsunade, eyes widening in horror as she stared at the broken fence. Jiraiya came over, wobbling a little with his six-year-old gait, and patted her shoulder.

"I can fix it!" he exclaimed, and pretended to board up the fence.

"This is why I must learn the Wood Style," Orochimaru insisted.

"Tsunade, it's okay. Let's get a bandage for your hand. Jiraiya, stop running around. Orochimaru! Only the First Hokage can use the Wood Style, and—"

The blue baby started crying.

"See what you guys did? You made Auntie's baby cry!" Tsunade crossly put her little hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at the two boys. Jiraiya giggled, and Orochimaru considered something that sounded vaguely like "learn to summon a funny animal so the baby will stop crying".

"Tsunade, hush!" Mariko snapped. She turned to her son with a softer voice. "There, there, shhh, quiet now. It's okay, shhh."

* * *

In the Hokage Tower, Tobirama felt his nose itch. It was as if another reason to send Team Tobirama on some D-rank missions for the sake of punishing Saru by forcing him to do boring tasks with his old teammates had appeared.

* * *

"Auntie, do you like horses?"

"I do."

"Auntie, do you like bugs?"

"I don't. Why? Do you like horses, Tsu?" Mariko smiled down at her grandniece, but the blonde girl was too fixated on her bug question as Jiraiya knelt to study an ant.

"Summon a bug no jutsu," Orochimaru stated.

"I once ate one of these," Jiraiya said, rather amused.

"EW." Tsunade made a face, then turned to her great-aunt again. "I like ponies, but why don't you like bugs, Auntie? You know, I don't like bugs either. Did you know that an ant crawled up my arm one time? It was gross. So why don't you like them?"

"They're creepy and crawly," Mariko supposed, shifting her son's weight so that she could hold the baby easier. He had been getting so heavy, recently. Maybe she should use one of those baby packs, or even better, have Tobirama carry him for her!

"Yeah. I saw a nasty one today. It was _this big!_" Tsunade exclaimed, holding out her arms. It vaguely reminded Mariko of Jiraiya the day before, and Hiruzen when he was younger.

Jiraiya agreed, nodding vigorously. It seemed that he and Orochimaru had also seen the bug Tsunade was telling Mariko about, and they gestured with their arms excitedly. Orochimaru whispered darkly about "evil no jutsu" and "summoning bugs" while Jiraiya displayed that the bug was as big as his hand, or even bigger.

"It was…changing shape!"

"Changing shape?" Mariko glanced at the snowflake doubtfully.

"Yeah. Not shape, really, but it was getting smaller, then bigger! Then a little smaller again, then bigger again, until it decided to be one size."

"Auntie, did you know that it had lots of legs?" Tsunade wiggled her fingers, as if mimicking the creature's many limbs. "It was so gross! Do you think that's gross?"

"I think it's really gross," Mariko agreed. She just wanted to get off the topic of bugs now, because Jiraiya began describing how its feelers were going this way and that way, and he then started mentioning how he saw a cockroach the other day, and an earwig, and this one beat them all…

"How many legs do you think it had?" Tsunade asked Jiraiya, who stopped to consider. She asked Orochimaru, too, but the dark-haired boy just shook his head and muttered "bunshin no jutsu on its legs".

"One hundred!" Jiraiya announced, nodding confidently.

"What? Me too!" Tsunade laughed. "Do you really think so? Do you think we're right? I think we're right. I mean, we've counted the legs on a spider. How many again? Oh yeah, eight. And an ant has…six? Auntie, do ants have six or eight legs? But this one had so many! I think it was a hundred. What about you?"

"Wait! I know what this one's called…" Jiraiya squinted hard, as if pressing his brows together would help him think. "We learned this one in school!"

Was the academy teaching them about nature, or something?

"Oh! Oh! I remember this one too!" Tsunade copied the cotton ball head's expression, furrowing her brows and squeezing her eyes shut, even pressing her fingers to her temples in order to concentrate harder. Mariko worried she would get wrinkles when she was twenty, or something strange like that.

"I can't think of it! Wait, don' tell me!" Jiraiya stuck his tongue out comically.

"Ahh it was so gross, and I can't remember it!" Tsunade hopped in a circle. They looked ridiculous. It seemed like Orochimaru thought so, too, because he sort of just stared at them dubiously.

In the meantime, the blue baby grabbed his mom's hair, and giggled. Mariko had wanted to direct the subject away, but they had insisted on continuing this bug conversation. It was too bad they didn't know that she still screamed when she saw one. One time, she was on her way to Tobirama's office when a spider was on the wall, and she hollered "TOBIRAMA!" as if a crazy Kiri nin was attacking her.

The Hokage had busted out of his office as if his life depended on it, knocking over some foreign affairs officers in the process (was that the Stone ambassador?) and sped down the hallway. When he found his beloved perfectly fine, cringing at the spider on the wall, he sighed and nearly passed out. In the end, he slapped the poor arachnid with his shoe and directed Mariko out of the building. By then, Mariko had forgotten why she needed to see Tobirama in her fright. Tobirama, who nearly had a heart attack when he heard her scream, took a few minutes to calm down and return to his room, where he apologized to the guests he'd bowled over just before.

When Mariko walked past the Konoha hospital, she remembered what she had gone to see Tobirama for. It was too bad, because the spider had just ruined her courage, and she returned to Mito, who slapped a hand to her face, exasperated.

It seemed as if Mariko could never tell Tobirama when she was pregnant by herself. That was okay though, she could just say she didn't know while holding their first child and putting on an extremely shocked face.

* * *

"I know what it is," Orochimaru said seriously.

"You do?!" the two others exclaimed, gaping. Tsunade pushed, and the boy fell backwards, grumbling sourly. Tsunade jumped up and down excitedly.

"What is it? I remember it, but I don't, but didn't the teachers teach us this? Jiraiya, why don't you remember? I thought you remembered everything? Or was that Orochimaru? Or was that—"

"Of course I know it!" Jiraiya retorted. They waited expectantly. "Uh…"

"Spit it out!" Tsunade demanded. Mariko worried that the girl would have an excessively hot temper. Maybe, when Tsunade got pregnant one day—hopefully, Tobirama and Mito wouldn't go Katsurou on her and threaten her future lover with death threats—she would be so moody that Konoha risked destruction. Oh, would Hashirama be rolling in his grave then.

That just reminded Mariko of Mito, who had been moody and violent when she was with child. At one moment, she was perfectly tranquil and pleasant, and then the next, she was demanding Tobirama's famous Banana Bread—yes, that famous banana bread that requires capitalization of letters—as if the world was ending. Hashirama had hauled ass over to Mariko's room, where the blunette was trying to clean up after the white-haired Senju (then still her fiancé), and then demanded to know where his younger brother was. Then Mariko had gotten into an argument about how Tobirama should add things to his banana bread, which he refused to do, and began going off about how Hurricane girls must be strange, and somehow they reached the topic of craisins.

"Are you done?!" Hashirama would ask constantly, dropping in every ten or so minutes, each time sweatier and more frenzied than the last. At one point, he'd changed into his armor and his hair was sticking out at odd angles under his hitai-ate.

"Why are you wearing that?" Tobirama asked, looking rather bizarre with his oven mitts on. Mariko kept herself from laughing, then, because the tall shinobi looked absolutely ridiculous when he was baking.

"It's a battle…all of this is a battle…this is war," Hashirama was muttering, causing the two others in the room to worry for his sanity. He then switched back to a normal tone, cleared this throat, and said: "Help me. Please."

They would continue to give Mito her "effing Banana Bread, you idiots!" when she demanded it, as well as dodge any plates she threw when she was done with her banana bread, or even the unfortunate lamp. Hashirama had been appalled by the profanity that came out of his beloved wife's mouth, revealing the insanely extreme Uzumaki personality that must've been hiding inside of her (and was pushed out by the growing child). Afterwards, Mito herself was shocked that she had said such ludicrous comments, and covered her mouth in embarrassment. Nothing like that ever came from her mouth again, after she had her child.

Well, after she had her child, she had yelled something unrepeatable when Kumogakure tried to steal the Kyuubi and her child both at once.

Nothing like that had come from her mouth _before_ she was pregnant either…except the time when Madara tried to steal her heart, and she kicked him in an extremely painful place and threatened to cut his throat out.

And after that, Hashirama chased him to the Valley of the End.

* * *

Mariko blinked. She kept having these flashbacks…

Tuning back in, she glanced the now arguing children. Jiraiya had refused to answer, and was now facing Tsunade's wrath, while Orochimaru watched on. Mariko's blue baby whimpered, clutching his mother's neck.

"It's okay," she told her little son. At least he wasn't as noisy as his younger sister, who bawled upon being startled…and she was startled easily. Hopefully, she was sleeping peacefully at home for now, with one of their Senju nannies watching over her…

"Just tell me its name!" Tsunade exclaimed.

"I don't know it!"

"You said you did!" Tsunade grabbed Jiraiya by the collar and shook him back and forth. _Wow, violent_, Mariko thought. (If animated in an anime, she would have sweat-dropped.)

"So, this is why you must teach me the Lava Release," Orochimaru said, turning to Mariko. Mariko just stared at him incredulously. Lava Release? The boy continued, "So that they can quiet down, and I can learn new jutsu."

"Tell me!" cried Tsunade.

"Ask Orochimaru!" wailed Jiraiya, who was currently having the living daylights shaken out of him.

"Orochimaru!" now both of them wailed.

"It is…" Orochimaru began. He made some random hand seals, then pressed his fingers to his forehead. He muttered a chant, and the blue baby glanced at him, his curiosity piqued and his crying ceasing. "It is…"

"THERE IT IS!" Tsunade screamed, pointing at the hole she'd made in the fence. Crawling out of the fence was a very large, very dark, very shiny, very menacing, hundred-legged creature. All three of the children shrieked then, in their high, terrified voices.

* * *

"CENTIPEDE!"

The centipede cackled, clicked its front legs together a few times, and scuttled away.

* * *

(Tobirama heard a scream all the way from the Hokage Tower… and it sounded suspiciously like Mariko.)

* * *

Bwahahaha.

That was amusing. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!

Questions, comments, burning concerns?!

Obitopede cackes...


	15. Which is Crazier?

This entire chapter is just...random.

**Note: **"Sparky" the Raikage is inspired by the wonderful _wisdom-jewel_, in the funny Team Tobirama-centric story, _Breaking the Rules_. Go check it out!

**Note 2: **Sharingan contacts are from Naruto SD, as well as Byaku-Sharingan. Whatever that is. (lol)

**Disclaimer:** Naruto isn't mine, because Mito...hopefully didn't go this crazy. Today, she is very Kushina-esque. In other words, hotheaded Habanero Uzumaki style. Sort of OOC, but that's the wonders of old Konoha for you; we don't know anything about them ~ -wiggles fingers and pretends to spread magic sparkles- ~

* * *

**Chapter 15: ****Which is Crazier?**

Hiruzen could not have picked a better day to be angry.

"You _filthy_, little—" he started heatedly. An unspeakable insult was sure to follow, but the frantic remainders of Team Tobirama hastily clamped their hands over his mouth. It was not very helpful to have Senju's students yelling insults at the Uchiha when you had Uchiha Madara standing right there.

"What was that, Sarutobi? I'm a filthy, little what?" Kagami grinned. If Tsunade had been there, she would have called it…_evil_. But Tsunade hadn't been born yet, and besides that, she would've asked about twenty questions before calling Kagami's smile evil…also in the form of a question.

"Just stop it, Kagami," hissed Koharu.

Meanwhile, it seemed as if Madara had not noticed a thing, because he continued glaring at Hashirama for some odd reason.

"I told you, Madara. In order to establish village alliances, we _do not_, under _any _circumstances, _make nicknames for the other Kage_. Do you understand?" Hashirama said through gritted teeth. It wasn't in his nature to be harsh, but with Madara, anything besides force was disregarded.

"Well, Hashirama, you see, it wasn't my idea," Madara replied nonchalantly, waving his hand. "In fact, it was your little brother's."

And then Madara gave Mito a look that made Team Tobirama and Team Toka blanch. Mito returned with a glower so menacing, the two teams feared they would spontaneously combust under her gaze.

"That's just nasty," Hiruzen muttered.

"I actually agree with Sarutobi on this one," Kagami commented.

"Why are we even here?" Homura suddenly asked. They all just shrugged, and Torifu offered the group some potato chips from his insanely enormous bag of them. He seemed to pull them out of nowhere when he wanted to. Danzo crossed his arms and made a face, his chin with the x-shaped scar jutting out crossly.

"In fact, I _do_ like the name 'Sparky' for the Raikage," Madara continued, touching his chin thoughtfully. He nodded to himself, before reaching up to brush some of his wild hair out of his face. It was rather useless, because it just fell over his right side again anyway. Izuna sort of just lingered behind his brother, leaning against the fence (a fence that would, years in the future, one day receive a nasty hole in it by the hand of a little Senju princess). He rubbed where his eyes should have been absently, as if contemplating the bandages wrapped around his head. Izuna wanted to go home, but he obviously couldn't get there by himself. Hashirama wondered why Madara even brought him. (He wouldn't bring Tobirama…or rather, Tobirama wouldn't stay…)

"Can we just get this over with?" Mito snapped. She turned to Madara, still leveling his gaze with her hotter-than-Amaterasu-burning glare. "Madara, is there _anyone_ you don't want us to form alliances with?"

"Uh. The Cloud," he said easily. Hashirama sighed, and if possible Mito's glare increased in intensity. Team Tobirama and Team Toka unconsciously took a step backwards, sweating under the heat of the Uzumaki's intense stare.

"Do you really mean that, or is that random?" Mito fumed.

"No. Not really. How about Iwa? I'm not fond of Iwa."

"Madara," Mito warned.

"Oh, fine. Kiri." Now, Madara made a _little_ bit of sense, seeing as no one wanted to be attacked by crazy Kiri nin, but an alliance with the Hidden Mist would be rather beneficial to the new and growing, as well as influential, Konoha.

"Well, those Kiri guys _are_ pretty crazy." A new voice popped in, and Hashirama mentally groaned. Of course his little brother would pick this time to join in. He would only encourage Madara, despite being on different sides. Though the Uchiha supposedly hated the Senju, things like this were often more comical than spiteful.

"Just, no." Mito turned her glare to Tobirama, but he hardly flinched. The kids admired him for this.

If the children had not been staring at Tobirama in wonder with googly-eyes, then they would have missed the very subtle glance he cast to the trees behind them, as well as the hand signal he flashed. Hiruzen turned to the trees, catching a glimpse of something blue.

The only thing that color blue in this village was Mariko.

"Nii-san." Izuna had ventured over and felt his way to his brother, where he poked the elder Uchiha in the side.

"What, Izuna?" Madara waved his brother away for the moment. Izuna, as if he could see, turned slightly to the trees and shrugged. There was a rustling, and then Mariko appeared again, blue-hair wrapped up on her head and a bow-and-arrow fashioned out of her Ice Style in hand. First, Hiruzen wondered how Mariko was holding the weapon without freezing her hands off, and second, he pondered deeply over how Izuna seemed to see her. (AKA, Hiruzen was mind-blown.)

Tobirama pointed to Madara behind his back.

"So, those crazy Kiri nin," Tobirama said, as an arrow flew past his head, aimed at Madara's shoulder. It was too bad the Uchiha just laughed and caught the arrow, snapping it easily in his hands.

"That was _really_ funny," he chortled. Then he turned so dead serious, the two teams cringed and huddled in a circle behind Tobirama (with the exception of Kagami, who just giggled until his clan leader shot him a look that could've reduced him to ashes). "Who shot that?"

Madara's glare nearly beat Mito's in fiery power, but the flaming eyes of doom (also known as the Sharingan, and/or Izuna's poor eyes) could not melt the icy bow and arrow that Mariko still wielded as she hopped out of the tree and sauntered over to them. When she reached them, the ice jutsu had dissipated and she shrugged at Tobirama, similarly to how Izuna had done so earlier.

"I told you, I'm not good with the Hyoton. Did you see how badly I missed?" Mariko gestured to Madara's shoulder, making them all wonder what the intended target was.

"Nah, you weren't that bad," Tobirama consoled, "his pink eye just cut you short."

Unexpectedly, Izuna sniggered, while Madara sighed exasperatedly and told Tobirama to stop calling the "great, godly Sharingan" an eye problem. Tobirama, of course, didn't stop, and to Hashirama's dismay (and Mito's increasing anger), Mariko only joined in.

"It's a wonder you guys don't have severe dry eye," Mariko noted.

"It's also amazing that we haven't seen lots of Sharingan contacts on the market yet. The Hyuuga could pull off an intense Byaku-Sharingan," Tobirama mused.

"Then again, that would cause _them_ some major dry eye," Mariko added. They continued on a conversation that would likely be repeated in Konoha's future, and then turned back to Madara, who was now yawning.

"If you're done with your insulting comments, are we done here?" he asked.

"We haven't even started," Mito growled. If she was more Kushina-style, she would've cracked her knuckles and beat up everybody, but instead, she just punched Madara in the face. It was so unexpected (well, not really, but still, he could've seen it coming) that Madara received the hit and flew a good distance.

"I think that's a new record," Mariko called, as Madara grumbled and got to his feet. He glared at Madara, and oddly enough, smirked at Mito. A vein popped on the redhead's temple, and she prepared to throw another punch. She would have done so, if Hashirama had not put his hands on her shoulders and murmured something like "Honey, honey, he's not worth it…" in her ears.

"Your pink eye didn't help you there, did it?" Tobirama grinned.

And then, once again, Izuna smiled, and then he smiled at the tree. Everyone turned to look, but nothing was there.

"Do you think Izuna's talking to ghosts?" asked Hiruzen.

"I actually agree with Hiruzen…again." Kagami paused. "It's a new record. Huh."

"You're all idiots," Koharu concluded.

"So, about those crazy Kiri nin," Tobirama continued, smiling at his brother and Mito. The redhead glared at him, preparing her spare punch for her white-haired brother-in-law.

"Mito, honey, he's not worth it either," Hashirama stammered nervously. His eyes flickered between his wife and his brother, trying to calm the former and reprimand the latter both at once.

"He's not worth it, but _oh_ would it be fun," Mito sneered.

"Someone feels evil today," Mariko piped up.

"Mariko, you're going to get it too," Mito warned. The little blunette smiled and backed away slowly, letting her fiancée take care of the situation.

"Mariko?" Tobirama glanced at the girl. "You're not leaving me…hey!"

Mariko began sprinting down the alley, yelling her apologies behind her. Torifu dropped his now-empty fifth bag of chips then, and made in the opposite direction. He was closely followed by Kagami and Hiruzen, who didn't want to be there when Mito snapped. (It was a wonder they survived after she sealed the Kyuubi within herself…)

Koharu just sighed and climbed over the fence, followed by Homura. She found herself behind a restaurant, and to her surprise, she saw Danzo sitting at one of the tables, reading a book.

"How long have you been there?" she asked.

"…A while." He continued reading. The girl exchanged glances with her bespectacled teammate, who shrugged. They sat down at the table, and stayed when Danzo didn't tell them to leave (like they had expected).

Meanwhile, Mito brushed away Hashirama's cold hands—which were shaking from his nervousness, because only wives can scare strong men like that—and turned on Tobirama. Tobirama's eyes widened, and then he took off after Mariko, closely followed by Mito, who was closely followed by a trail of wood trying to catch all of them.

"Mariko, you're going to_ pay _for ditching me!" Tobirama yelled, while the little blue-headed girl disappeared around a street corner and easily hid herself among the people. Despite her obvious blue hair, her small size allowed her to vanish among the taller heads of the crowd, unlike the tall, white-haired Tobirama who stood out too much.

"You're both doing the dishes tonight," Mito muttered to herself, giving chase to the two of them. Hashirama desperately ran into the fray, knocking over Madara, who had trying to get home, only to get beaten up some more.

"Damn you, Senju!" he hollered.

"Pink eye not working out so well, eh?" Tobirama exclaimed over his shoulder, before ducking to avoid a plate that Mito grabbed from an outdoor restaurant waiter to chuck at him.

All during this, Izuna sort of just leaned on the fence again, a little bit lost. He felt his way down the road, before running into Kagami, who was hiding behind a mailbox.

"That you, Kagami?" Izuna asked.

"Yes, Izuna-sama." Kagami had rarely interacted with the clan head, let alone the clan head's brother, and was rather proud that Izuna knew his name. "Here, the Uchiha complex is this way."

And so, young Kagami sauntered home with the clan head's brother, looking rather important. Danzo introduced a surprisingly excellent restaurant to Homura and Koharu, Hiruzen and Torifu, who had sprinted right past Kagami and his mailbox, stopped by the convenience store to buy more chips, and Tobirama continued having dishes thrown at his head. At some point, Mito had hunted him down and given him a piece of her mind, and then afterwards, she had dragged Mariko out of the dango shop's kitchen and threatened her with something that turned the blunette white with terror. Neither of the Senju brothers ever found out what it was, but assumed it was part of Mito's terrifying woman-power. Whatever that was.

And after all _that_, Hashirama approached his wife when he deemed it safe to do so, and offered her some precious Banana Bread that Tobirama spent the rest of the day making to soothe the hotheaded Uzumaki. They eventually all convened at the dining room table, and Tobirama just had to ask:

"So, is it the crazy Kiri nin or Madara that we've decided on getting rid of?"

Oh Tobirama. You're not even following the topic of the conversation, are you?

* * *

Can anyone guess what Izuna was "looking" at?


	16. Will of Fire

And the answer to last chapter's question... Obitopede, of course! (he's the co-conspirator of EVERYTHING)

Anyway, what is with all these depressing chapters lately? Oh well. Here you go. I'm not quite satisfied with its ending, but that's all right...I liked how I _ended _it, but not how I jumped from the beginning part and didn't finish that. Oh well. All you need to know is that they get better with time...

And: A SHORT ONE! Short story ~

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto. Maybe it's because I don't really know what happened to Hashirama (all that's given is that he fell during one of the many wars after Konoha's founding). That, and Obitopede appears in this story. That, alone, should be proof enough. Also, my titles don't make sense.

* * *

**Chapter 16: ****Will of Fire**

If a more depressing scene could have been described, Toka would have paid to see it. Nothing was more disheartening and gloomy than dropping in during dinner to see the three figures staring silently at their meals, none of them touching anything. It was silent.

"I was just dropping by to— are you all right?" Toka was worried, now, when none of them even turned to look at her. It was then, that she noticed, sadly, that a fourth table set had been put out, but the seat remained vacant. It had only been a week, and none of them were saying a thing about it. Mito, especially. It was rare to see her come out of her room, these days. Toka was relieved to see her outside, but upon seeing the situation, realized that nothing had changed.

"Hello, Toka. Care to join us?" Mariko turned now, her eyes apologetic. Mito nodded robotically, and Tobirama continued staring at the table.

"It's okay. I just wanted to inform Tobirama that a messenger bird from Suna came in, and it has a private message for him. That's all." Toka nodded briefly, glancing at the white-haired Senju, but the man remained silent. His eyes flickered momentarily to her in an expression of thanks, acknowledging that he'd heard her. Toka took that as her cue to leave, and briskly stepped outside again. She wondered if the food would be eaten at all, that night. Mito certainly didn't make it, so Toka assumed that Mariko had picked herself up and made the meal so that they didn't suffer further from their grief.

None of them had expected it to hit as hard as it did. Even Tsunade had begun crying, and as soon as the child's wails were heard, the Senju's hearts broke.

"We should eat." It was a suggestion that lacked the power to become an order, and Mariko watched as Tobirama dejectedly fingered his plate. Mito seemed as if she was trying hard to muster up some sort of enthusiasm, but lacked the willpower to put forth any other emotion except sadness.

Hashirama's seat remained empty. The group ate their meals because they had to, and then Mariko cleaned up. Mito disappeared to her room for another week, with only Mariko dropping in to provide her with some food and drink every day. Tobirama went to read his message from Suna, still unable to don the robes that had once been his older brother's. He'd worn them once, during his coronation as Hokage, but not once had he smiled. In fact, the villagers could've sworn they saw a tear slip down his face. They could all relate to him—the entire village was crying for their fallen leader.

"This is not for myself," Tobirama had said. "This is for my love of this village, my love for my brother, your Hokage. This is for the man who loved Konoha more than anyone else.."

He paused then, as Konoha held its breath and a few choked back sobs.

"This is not for the Senju, nor is it for Senju Hashirama. This is for the father of Konoha, and for—" Tobirama couldn't finish. Beside him, Mariko squeezed his hand, and Mito nodded at him. "For the Will of Fire that is his dream. We will continue to love this village just as much as he did, because this…this village is his heart."

Someone yelled out "Hokage-sama!" then, and several began to cry. Even the stoic jounin and the stone-faced Hyuuga let tears fall down their faces.

"Senju Tobirama, you are now the Second Hokage."

The white-haired man turned to Mito, a clear tear marking a path down his cheek. Mito lifted the Hokage's hat to Tobirama, who bowed his head and allowed her to put it on.

"Make your brother proud."

* * *

I imagine an emotional Tobirama. Which is not in character, but at least in the moment. I'm sure everyone loved Hashirama. (See what I did there, not including the Uchiha?!) =3=

Meanwhile, Obitopede informs Old-Mandara in his bat-cave...err...cavern, of Hashirama's passing. And Old-Mandara cackles, whilst waiting for a random child to fall through the ceiling, and at the same time, making strange Hashi-clones from the Gedo Mazo... (lol)


	17. Future - Photo Albums

A sort-of special chapter! This one's centered in future times, with Naruto and co.

Mariko, Tobirama, and the crew are mentioned, of course. (WHY is this story turning into NOT Mariko-Tobirama-centric?!)

Oh well.

**Disclaimer-ttebayo:** Naruto's not mine. Seeing as this timeline doesn't work either. -shrugs- oh well. I can't help going back into old chapters and seeing pictures of the Hokage...there's one where Hashi's wearing something like a _head wrap? _ LOL Hash, WHAT is on your head? XD And they all look super-serious, too.'

...this is what happens when I have no work, and it's a half-day of school. (3 chapters, lol)

* * *

**Chapter 17: ****Future - Photo Albums**

Naruto failed to notice the presence of the 5th Hokage as he sifted through her old family photo albums, located on a shelf in one of the Hokage Tower's older rooms. It was an old office, with musty couches and the portraits of the Hokage up on the far wall. Naruto had sniggered at their stoic faces and serious sort-of frowns. When he became Hokage, his portrait would be one of him smiling. (He also wondered what in the world the First was wearing on his head; was that a bandanna? Besides that, the Second's headgear was cooler than Captain Yamato's, the Third looked _young_, and of course, his father, the Fourth, was super cool. And then there was Granny…)

The young Jinchuuriki flipped open the album, taking his time looking at the faded, colorless photos of the First and his family. As time progressed, the pictures attained slight bits of color along with the usual white-gray-black tones. The moment Naruto flipped to the First Hokage with his granddaughter is the one Tsunade chooses to make herself known.

"I see you found a picture of me with my grandfather," she notes, smiling at the boy's stunned reaction. He stammers, babbling incoherently first at her unexpected appearance, and at the new information. If his whiskers had been real, they would've twitched in confusion.

"You…the First?"

"Yep. I'm his granddaughter," Tsunade said rather proudly. "How do you think I got that necklace? The one you destroyed, by the way."

Naruto continued staring at the picture. Tsunade chuckled as he continued to flip through the album, forgetting to close his gaping mouth.

"Is this…?"

"My grandmother," Tsunade informed him. Naruto grinned.

"Uzumaki Mito, huh? My mom told me about her." He saw the faint glow of red through the shades of gray, and admired the smile on both the Uzumaki's and the First Hokage's faces. He also noticed the diamond on her forehead, which Tsunade seemed to share.

Flipping the pages, passing through time, he came to the point of the Second Hokage's time in the office.

"Huh. So that means the Second is your great-uncle?" Naruto mused.

"That's right. He was a funny guy," Tsunade recalled. "He and Jiraiya got along real well." She laughed, remembering. "He called Jiraiya weird things like _Cotton Ball Head_, or _Cotton Boy_, but his favorite was _Snowflake_."

Naruto snickered. That Pervy Sage? A snowflake? Cotton ball, he sort of understood, but he thought relating his old master to a delicate piece of snow was a bit of a stretch.

"Apparently, I always asked a lot of questions," Tsunade told him. "Jiraiya would bug him all the time, and Orochimaru just wanted to learn all the jutsu in the world."

Naruto grinned and turned the page to see the Second toting Jiraiya in one arm, Tsunade on his shoulders, and Orochimaru by his side. Off in the corner, was a figure Naruto thought seemed rather familiar, but couldn't put his finger on it. He glanced up at Tsunade, but the woman was too absorbed in the picture. It was then that the portraits of the Hokage caught the boy's eye, and he matched the old man to the young one in the picture.

"No way, is that the Third? That old man?!"

"Believe it or not," Tsunade smiled. "He was young, too."

"No way! He doesn't even have his beard yet." Naruto laughed. He browsed a few more a pages, and pointed at the blue-haired girl next to the Second. "Who's this?"

"My great-aunt."

"She looks like she's our age…well, like she _was_, our age." Naruto studied the picture. The girl must've been just a few years older than Naruto and his group at that time, and pretty small, too. Either that, or the Second was tall. Maybe both.

"Aokami Mariko, from the land of Hurricane. It still exists, you know. It's just under Kirigakure's rule. They used to be Whirlpool's neighbors."

"They have really blue hair."

Tsunade smiled at this. She was about to show Naruto her great-uncle and -aunt's children, but Shizune burst through the door and yelled at her for slacking off. Something about the amount of paperwork, and the council meeting, and finally a third thing that Tsunade didn't want to do.

"See what you have to look forward to, Naruto?" she asked, ruffling the blonde's hair. Naruto just grinned.

"Tsunade-sama! The four past Hokage are rolling in their graves, watching you procrastinate like this!" Shizune exclaimed, frustrated. Tonton the pig snorted a few times, amused. Tsunade glanced at the portraits of her predecessors, alongside her own. Solemn, stoic, serious sort-of frowns. Glancing at the pictures of the First and Second, and even the Third, she shook her head. Those were just photos, not the faces she remembered.

A smiling Hashirama, always accompanied by Mito. Her favorite thing had been Mito's cookies and Hashirama's stories. In fact, she _enjoyed_ helping her grandfather procrastinate, because he sure didn't want to do all that paperwork either. He was always happy to see her when she bounced into his office, all smiles.

"How did you and grandma fall in love?" was her favorite question. She'd heard the story at least twenty times, but she enjoyed it nonetheless. Even a random story of how Hashirama tamed a tiger was the best afternoon pastime.

The Second Hokage, her great-uncle Tobirama. At first glance, serious and intimidating, unless you caught him in a moment where he just had to make that funny comment. Tsunade remembered him as a funny guy, her favorite uncle, the one that used to pinch her cheeks and let her ride on his shoulders when he had the free time. Her favorite aunt, Mariko, who bought Tsunade her first dress when she was a teen. They had gone shopping for hours, that day, whilst Tobirama prepped Cotton Snowflake Jiraiya to ask her to the dance.

Eventually, Tsunade learned that she could bother her uncle and keep him from paperwork as well, without getting yelled at.

"How did you and Auntie fall in love?" was one of her many questions.

Then her teacher, the Third. Old man Sarutobi, who smiled at everyone, even Orochimaru. Tsunade sighed. He'd handed over his job, only to get it back. Old Hiruzen Sarutobi, who died fighting both his teachers and his student, and ultimately left the hat to the one the councilors would choose: Tsunade. She thought of Naruto's father, who looked just as somber and formal as the rest of them. She remembered meeting him, though, as well as the hot-headed Kushina. Naruto was a perfect mix of their personalities.

Finally, herself. Maybe not so much of a frown, after all. In fact, Tsunade liked to think that it was a sort-of smile gracing her lips in that photo, immortalized alongside the rest of Konoha's legends. Maybe it was a representation of the times; when Naruto became Hokage, as was his dream, he would smile to show the peace that had graced her grandfather's, her great-uncle's, her teacher's, and Naruto's father's village.

"Maybe not rolling," Tsunade said to Shizune. "More like laughing."

"And why is that?" Tsunade's aid was already flustered, what with the Hokage's antics driving her nuts. One minute, in the office, the next, she was gone. Like she had pulled an Akatsuki and disappeared in a vortex.

"It's not like they never procrastinated, either," Tsunade chuckled. She turned to Naruto. "Don't ever procrastinate, Naruto!"

"No worries, Granny. I'll have Konohamaru do it, ttebayo!"

Tsunade shook her head and left Naruto to flip through the volumes of her past. He didn't get far, though, seeing as Sakura yelled his name through the window, accompanied by the rest of the Konoha 11 plus Sai.

"Hey you, let's go!" Kiba called.

"We've got barbecue to eat!" Chouji added, waving.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, ttebayo," Naruto exclaimed, leaving the book and leaping out the window. A wave of dust followed him, and the group started coughing and yelling at him again.

Later, Tsunade picked up the album and set it back on the bookshelf carefully, leaving it snug between two others. It seemed like Naruto hadn't gotten past Tobirama and Mariko's second child. That's all right. He didn't need to know that their son would go on to have a child with the same white hair as Tobirama, whom they named Sakumo. It was too bad he hadn't seen pictures of Dan or Nawaki, either. Tsunade supposed that she would show him, some time, just to let him see the faces of those whose dreams he carried on.

" 'Because becoming Hokage is my dream'…" Tsunade took one last look at the pictures, always keeping an ear open for Shizune again. "Was that your dream? I suppose it was only Minato's dream, eh? The rest of you…just got the role."

She knew, of course, that they all had the same Will of Fire, though. Looking out the window, watching the workers finish up this district of Konoha, in its tedious rebuilding. The Hokage Tower had been reconstructed, its belongings mostly reorganized and gathered.

"I bet you were rolling in your graves when this village was crushed, weren't you?" She thought of the expression her grandfather must have had, the poor guy.

"What would you do if I became Hokage?" a young Tsunade had once asked.

"I would be very happy," he had told her with a smile.

"And Tobirama-oji-san?"

"He would cry. With happiness, of course." Hashirama laughed.

"What if…the village was destroyed?" Tsunade continued.

"Tsunade, don't talk like that," the First scolded.

"But really, Grandpa, what would you do?"

"I would rebuild it, of course."

* * *

Somewhere up above, Hashirama laughed.

"I guess all those questions come in handy at some point."

* * *

Be thankful for all the questions you ask - they may help you in the end.

(Teachers tell you to ask questions, but when you ask the supposedly stupid questions, they yell at you?)

Thanks guys, for all the reviews! You make my day. This story isn't even that great -cry forever-

Uh. BACK TO TOBIMARIKOOOOO -flies away-


	18. Konoha's Nighttime Residents

What is this...a brain-hiccup?

Anyway...

**Note:** I'm aware of terrible OOCness. That's just part of old Konoha, though. (cackles like Obitopede...does Obitopede cackle? lol)

**Disclaimer: **Naruto isn't mine. After all, I nearly wrote "California king-sized" in a world without California, and also included scones. What the...scones?

Oh, and I would've made Rin somehow live, via crazy Orochimaru. That, and why does Kabuto look like... Marilyn MonKaburoe? (new Chikara arc)

* * *

**Chapter 18: ****Konoha's Nighttime Residents**

"You're going _where_?" Tobirama asked. Well, it sounded more like "Yer gowen wharf?" because he was brushing his teeth. Earlier, he had been purposely singing in an extremely grating voice while he showered, so now Mariko was sulking on the bed rubbing her temples. Let it be known that the Senju had the voices of angels, but when Tobirama wanted to be annoying, let it be known that the Senju (at least some of them) were experts in that field as well.

"To a party."

"A party?" Tobirama spat out his toothpaste and ran the sink, glancing at the girl sitting just through the door on their bed. From his angle, all he could really see was a head of blue hair, the long tresses cascading to cover a large portion of the covers.

"Yes, Tobirama. A party," Mariko confirmed, rolling her eyes to herself.

"What kind of party?" he asked suspiciously.

"You know, the Hyuuga party I've been telling you about?" Mariko twirled a lock of blue hair around her fingers.

"Oh, that one?" Tobirama gargled and spat.

"Yeah, Tobirama." Mariko turned to glare at him. "You can't come, by the way."

"Why not?"

"It's a girls' night out," she informed him, smiling deviously.

"When is this party again?" He wiped his face and tried to figure out why he had a bruise on his neck. When he remembered, he made a face, smirked to himself, and then went back to wiping his face off with the towel.

"Tomorrow night."

"What time?"

"Around 7 or 8 at night."

"Uh. I can't let you go, then," Tobirama said simply, turning off the bathroom light and sauntering over to the bed. He plopped down unceremoniously, accidentally leaning on her hair. Mariko yelped, surprising both of them.

"Don't pull my hair!"

"I didn't mean to!" Tobirama rearranged himself so that he didn't accidentally pull any of her hair, and then gave her a consoling kiss on the forehead, murmuring at apology. Mariko stroked her hair, and then snuggled into Tobirama's chest.

"Wait…I can't got to the party?"

"Nope."

"Why?" Mariko stared at Tobirama.

"Uh. Konoha at night is dangerous," he explained.

"Why, are there creepers in all the corners?"

"Yes."

"The only creeper that I know will come for me is _you_." Mariko narrowed her eyes, and Tobirama averted his gaze, rubbing the back of his neck.

"No, Mariko, I worry for your safety."

"I can handle myself."

* * *

And so, Mariko went to the party, setting out at 7pm and walking down the streets of Konoha with a spring in her step. The streetlights flickered on all at once, a few delaying while a few more just didn't light up. Several shops began closing, while a few others remained open, and a few more just began to pull their blinds open.

Mariko was halfway to the Hyuuga complex when there was the creepiest howling noise in the history of Konoha. It was closely followed by a few chants, and then a fierce "WOOOAHHH!" that sounded suspiciously like Kagami.

"That…was weird," Mariko muttered to herself. She continued walking, until she heard a clattering behind her. Whipping around, blue hair flying, she eyed the street corner. Only the lamp overhead flickered, and a few flies buzzed around it quietly. Mariko turned to start walking again.

"WOOOAAAHHH!" came the cry. Mariko nervously skipped a step, the hairs on her neck standing on end. There was a hoot, a scream, and then more of a clatter. Mariko picked up the pace, and was about the turn the corner when a mummified face thrust itself in front of her and howled.

Mariko was so terrified, she couldn't even scream. Instead, her automatic instincts pushed a pulse of chakra to her palm, and suddenly an icicle materialized in her hand and she thrust it at the figure. It impaled the thing in the stomach. It screeched, but Mariko didn't stick around long enough to hear it, because she had taken off at a dead sprint towards the Hyuuga Clan's gate.

Just as she came within a block, a bloody, wrapped hand grabbed her shoulder, and spun her around to see the mummy. It pulled the melting icicle from its abdomen and groaned in pain, watching the blood drip off of the end in agony.

Mariko pulled a scroll from her pocket; it was the one Hashirama had given her, a special scroll that sprouted trees. But before she even got to use it, the figure glanced at the Senju seal branded on the scroll's side and hissed. Then, a white silhouette appeared and knocked the living daylights (if it was living at all) out of the mummy. The white man then scooped up Mariko and leapt to safety.

"I told you, there are a _lot_ of creepy things here," Tobirama muttered, setting Mariko down.

"Is this some sort of horror movie?!" she demanded, staring at the spot where the mummy had been. The creepy creature had slinked away and disappeared.

"With the Uchiha around, you never know. See why I followed you, now?" Tobirama arched his brows, smirking.

"No. I could've handled him," Mariko huffed, crossing her arms. She glanced around, and supposed they were on some random rooftop. She could see the Hyuuga complex gate behind her, so she supposed they had already entered a part of the clan's area.

"Are you sure?" Tobirama asked doubtfully, guessing at the identity of the "mummy". "You would've been Hurricane Soufflé, if I hadn't rescued you." He struck a pose, rather proud of his hero role this time around. He grinned at the blunette, who poke him in the ribs, annoyed. Tobirama continued on about how he was the hero in this horror story…

"You see, Mariko? In the end, my suspicions were correct," he praised himself. Grinning, he added, "Is there anything you'd like to say to your shining prince?"

Mariko glared, tipped her head to one side, and studied him for a moment. He watched her contemplate her answer. When she had it, she smiled.

"How's that bruise going for you?"

Tobirama cringed.

* * *

"How was my yelling?" Kagami asked Izuna, who sat running his hands over the spine of a book he used to read.

"It was great," Izuna said, smiling. "It had a great, chilling effect."

"That's actually my battle cry," Kagami told the older man. "I was told I needed one—by Mariko-san, ironically—so I'm practicing."

"It's a good way to help release a great amount of chakra," Izuna commented, nodding. He set down the book and picked up a dull kunai, which he began grating on a stone to sharpen it. Being blind, the kunai was sharpened a little crookedly, but that was fine; it was effective enough. Izuna vaguely remembered what Kagami looked like. He was a fine-looking boy, with a square jaw and messy, short hair. It had been a few years, and he'd forgotten the fine detail, though he could imagine how the young boy had grown.

"Tell me, Kagami, how many tomoe do you have in your Sharingan now?"

"Two," Kagami said proudly. He'd awakened the second one during the chuunin exams, against a Hyuuga, actually. The battles of eyes.

"And you awakened these when you—" Izuna froze, and his head whipped towards the door of the study. "Nii-san?"

Kagami, curious, went quiet and listened carefully. Hearing nothing, he asked Izuna what he had heard.

"No, I didn't hear anything. I saw it." Izuna frowned then, and Kagami followed suit. How could a blind man see if his brother was coming?

"How did you see it?"

Izuna shrugged. He supposed it was some crazy, improbably Uchiha-eye-telepathy sort of magic happening. He'd glimpsed a fuzzy image of a bloodied hand and the hallway just outside this study, though it had disappeared in a moment. He was sure, though.

"I don't know. It was blurry…" Just as he finished speaking, Madara burst through the door, cursing to himself. His right hand, which was pressed against his abdomen, was red with blood. He snapped something at Kagami, who rushed to get a medic.

"What happened?" Izuna asked, in a rather bored tone.

"I wasn't expecting her to stab me," Madara grumbled. "Well, more like I hadn't expected it to bleed this much."

It wasn't that he was in extreme pain, but more like he was just a bit annoyed that the blood loss suddenly made him a little dizzy. He'd been about to pursue Tobirama, that interfering idiot, when he partially blacked out. Madara had glanced down, and realized that a good amount of his blood was pooled on the streets of Konoha, swore to himself, and retreated.

"That's what you say _every_ time," Izuna sighed. He picked up a random jacket and threw it at his brother, quite accurately. "I still remember the one time you killed some Kaguya clan guy, and didn't realize his bones had stabbed you. So you walked home, and suddenly fell over. It was actually really funny."

"That was _not _funny," Madara growled.

"Well, we all laughed. So too bad." Only Izuna would dare speak to the crazy clan head like this. Kagami ran back with a towel and a medic, a short girl who went crazy seeing the clan head bleeding profusely. Madara tried waving all of the attention off, claiming to be fine.

"Um…Madara-sama, you're shaking." Kagami held a towel out to the clan head, but realized that the man was slapping away all attempts at caring for him. Kagami laughed nervously. Madara always made him wary.

"I am not."

"Madara-sama?"

Madara staggered against the wall, and Izuna smiled.

"Told you so."

"Shut _up_, Izuna. It wasn't funny then, and it isn't funny now."

"Well, it's true that it wasn't as funny as the one time Mito —"

"Izuna!"

* * *

Earlier that day, Toka had received a message from the Fire Temp via hawk messenger, and unrolled the report. She then brought it over to Hashirama for him to read, but to her surprise, the First was absent, and in his place, his younger brother was ruffling through his drawers rather nosily.

"Tobirama, _what_ are you doing?"

"He's got a stash of food in here, I swear."

"That's where he keeps A-rank missions that he saves for—Hey!"

"Found it!" Tobirama whipped out a folder, and then stuck his team's files into them, before slamming the drawer shut. He locked it quickly and then reached into another corner of Hashirama's wooden desk—made by the Mokuton user himself—and pulled out a bag of old Halloween candy. "See?"

Toka snatched it from him and set it on the floor, glaring at the white-haired Senju.

"You just want him to assign you an interesting mission," she seethed.

"So what if that's true?"

"Your team's obviously not ready for an A-rank mission!" she exclaimed.

"I have decided that they _are_," Tobirama retorted. Suddenly, he was wary of the strange look his cousin was giving him.

"What's that on your neck?"

He slapped his hand to the spot right under his jaw, and said nothing. Tobirama was all of a sudden extremely interested in Toka's hair.

"Toka, your hair is interesting today. Do you tie that topknot differently every week?"

"Tobirama…"

"See ya!" He hopped out the window.

* * *

"Um. Madara-sama?" Kagami leaned over the clan head. His first thoughts were: _What if he wakes up, thinks I'm an enemy, and cuts my head off?_

His seconds thoughts were: _Those inferior Uchiha pricks (aka my cousins) will be _so _jealous when they hear that I've been spending time with the clan head and his brother. I'm _so _cool like that._

"What do you want, kid?" Madara cracked an eye open. He was lying on the couch, rather dejected after Izuna had brought up the Mito incident.

"I brought you…scones."

Madara cheered up slightly at this, and smiled.

"I like scones, kid. Thanks."

Kagami's thought number three: _He thanked me! _He freaked out on the inside, and also did a happy dance.

"Do you need anything else? Madara-sama?" Kagami smiled brightly. On the inside, Madara wished the boy would stop smiling at him like that, because it was getting a little annoying, but besides that…

"Get me…I know, steal the First's—"

"Madara, you can't tell the poor kid to steal anything." Izuna, on the opposite side of the room, reading a book in Braille, sighed.

"Okay. Get me…my Obito. That dear centipede should be around somewhere."

Now Kagami was extremely confused.

Was his clan leader…sane?

"Uh…yes sir."

He scrambled out of the room.

* * *

Oh Kagami, you.

I enjoy Kagami.

I also enjoy Kagami's superiority complex that I've given him (to his family members near his age, and teammates, at least) and his crazy love for the clan head's power... though he likes Izuna better than Madara, because Izuna's less creepy...I mean, less scary...?


	19. Ghost

These stories are getting weirder and weirder, no kidding. I started this, forgot what I was writing about, and somehow ended it.

It's basically a representation of my confusion (hopefully it's readable) and how I don't know how to set a proper mood.

Um. Yes. (That, and I'm wallowing in ObiRin angst right now -the Obito feeelsss- and should be doing that dreaded homework -sigh-)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because Rin is dead. OTL.

**Note: **Sorry this is such a confusing story (laughs), since it goes somewhat along the lines of "ghost", "Uchiha Swag", "Hyuuga being obnoxious", "ghost", "Hokage office", "creepy snake guy". . . and so on, and so forth. -sweat drop-

**Note 2: **I have nothing against Hyuuga (I love Hinata and Neji, yes?) but I found this to be sort of funny. Battle of the eyessss or something.

-what happened to Byakugan being a "cousin" of the Sharingan? Everyone's a Senju? An Uchiha? Whaaaat. Lol just kidding. Sorry Byakugan, you get no share in the credit of being part of the Sage of the Six Path's sons' bloodlines! lol...?-

* * *

**Chapter 19: ****Ghost**

Hiruzen swore he had seen it.

"What did you see?" asked Koharu, more out of obligation rather than curiosity. Someone had to ask, or the boy would keep harping on them with "I saw it. I know I did, you have to believe me!" just to poke at their interest. Homura had his nose buried in a book, quickly relieving himself from answering duties by making it seem as if he wasn't even present, leaving Koharu to suffer from Hiruzen's antics.

"I saw it," Hiruzen continued mumbling to himself, now staring at the ramen shop. He shuddered. "I think…it's back."

"What, Hiruzen?" snapped Koharu. Unless she asked, he wouldn't stop talking to himself about whatever it was that he had seen.

"_Him_."

"Who's him?" Kagami asked, sauntering up to them in his signature Uchiha swagger. The group swore he was copying Madara, but you could never really tell. There was a distinct difference from the way the regal clan head marched efficiently to Kagami's ego-filled way of promenading up to them, but just the _essence_ of Uchiha he gave off matched that of Madara. Izuna, on the other hand, always walked rather calmly. For some reason, he showed his clan pride through his level-headedness, rather unlike his older brother. Though, that was back when the two brothers were alive. Izuna had died in battle, and after Madara died, it seemed like Kagami had inherited the swagger for himself.

"_Him_," Hiruzen repeated, eyes wide.

"Who's him?" Now a couple of the girls in their age group had gathered, curious. Koharu rolled her eyes at Biwako, who was part of the crowd, now. The girl sniggered, her ponytail swaying with her giggles.

"The ramen man? Yeah, I saw him," Torifu commented nonchalantly, popping a few chips into his mouth.

"We _just_ had lunch," Kagami said.

"_You_ just had lunch," Torifu corrected.

"No, not the ramen man," Hiruzen continued, completely ignoring the exchange. A Hyuuga sniggered; it was on the one that fought Kagami during the chuunin exams.

"Who did you see, Uchiha Madara?" he jeered. The group crowded next to him laughed, and Kagami seethed. He was about to snap back when Danzo touched his shoulder and shook his head, eyes narrowed. It seemed that the other boy's calm demeanor was quite influencing, because Kagami took a breath and kept his mouth shut.

"I saw…_Hashirama-sama_," Hiruzen breathed, staring at the Hokage Mountain.

"Shut up, Sarutobi. Don't make stupid jokes like that," the Hyuuga sneered. Mariko would've been devastated to see her best friend's young cousin act to uncouthly.

"I'm not kidding!" Hiruzen exclaimed. "I swear!"

Koharu wanted to slap her hand over her teammate's mouth, but remained tight-lipped and bathing in chagrin. How embarrassing could Hiruzen get?

"Let's go, guys." The Hyuuga tossed his long hair, the beautiful, silky hair of the Hyuuga clan that few Uchiha could obtain, and sauntered away. His walk was one of grace and style—he didn't need swagger to show his superiority. Kagami growled.

"He's right, Hiruzen. Don't fool around," Biwako told him, frowning.

"You guys really don't believe me?" Hiruzen's dejected face was rather endearing, like a wide-eyed little puppy, but none of them fell for it.

"No, Hiruzen," Danzo suddenly said. They all glanced at him; Danzo rarely said anything. "Ghosts don't exist."

"Oh, but they _do_," Hiruzen hissed, eyes going wide like Tenzou the cat's when he sensed a crazy Uchiha prowling on the Senju yard.

"Whatever floats your boat," Kagami replied, patting the other boy on the shoulder before taking off again, Torifu and Danzo in tow. The rest of the crowd dispersed, leaving Team Tobirama standing in the middle of the street, watching Hiruzen contemplate his ghost story.

"Let's go see if we have a mission. I think Team Toka mentioned something about going to the Grass Country," Koharu suggested. Homura nodded absently, still reading his book. The girl peered over to see what her bespectacled teammate was reading—_History of the Kunai_, apparently. Not interesting, so she diverted her attention back to Hiruzen.

"I _saw_ him, Koharu!" Hiruzen told her, begging the hard-faced Koharu to believe him. "Seeing is believing!"

"Well, we didn't see him," Koharu deadpanned, before shoving him away from her. He had tried to grab her collar and "shake some sense" into her, but she threatened to kick him, and instead, they made their way to the Hokage Tower.

* * *

Papers. More papers. Tobirama was tiring quickly of all his paperwork, especially for that week. For some reason, there was an oddly large influx of new files for him to stamp and approve of, and Tobirama's hand was almost sore from gripping his pen for such a long time. That, and he kept dropping his stamp, and it was annoying him (nothing fit on his desk, really).

Meanwhile, Mariko was skipping out of the Senju complex, waving to Tenzou the yawning cat in the tree. She yelled to tell Mito that she was going out, and promptly exited the area. Just as she did, a figure brushed past her as she entered town. She didn't think much of it, really, until she noticed that the man had dropped his wallet, so she picked it up for him.

"Hey, you forgot your—" Mariko stared at the wallet. Old, worn, familiar leather, the symbol of Konoha painstakingly carved onto its cover so that it was perfectly centered and smoothed. She opened it slightly, and a weathered photo of Tsunade and Mito slipped out, floating gently to the ground. In another pocket, she found a picture that looked like it used to be Tobirama when he was younger, but the ink was so faded, it was hard to tell actual faces.

It was Hashirama's.

The man turned around, and smiled.

"Thanks, Mariko." He took his belongings gently from her hands, stooped to pick up the picture of his wife and granddaughter, and walked away. When the next gentle breeze picked up, he disappeared in the direction of town.

"…Hashi…rama?"

* * *

Toka listed off several things that Tobirama was behind on, to his dismay. Mito sat in the chair behind his cousin, diverting her attention to a few papers that caught her eye. Toka had just begun crossly scolding Tobirama when Mito saw something outside the window. She rose from her seat and casually meandered over behind Tobirama so that she could gaze over the city. She saw a man squint up at the Hokage building, shielding his eyes from the glaring sunlight. His long, brown hair billowed gently in the breeze, framing his kind face. Mito's eyes widened. The man waved.

Mito suddenly screamed, a short yell that startled both the Hokage and his peeved cousin. She stared at Hashirama, who brushed his hair back from his face and continued walking down the street. By then, Tobirama and Toka had crowded around her, and had also seen the phantom ambling down the street…

* * *

There was a knock at the door, and Team Tobirama entered.

"Hey, Toka-sensei, is there anything we can do to—what are you guys doing?" asked Hiruzen, his two teammates on either side of him.

"Unless you want to go catch a cat," Toka said, straightening and composing her appearance, "then no, there's nothing."

"What are you looking at?" Hiruzen completely ignored the Senju woman's comment, hopping over beside the Hokage to gaze out the window. There really wasn't much besides the usual village clamor and work, but both Tobirama and Mito were lingering by the window, eyes searching for something that obviously wasn't there. They hesitantly turned back to the group, reluctantly, almost.

"Nothing," Tobirama answered.

"You sure?"

"Stop it, Hiruzen," snapped Koharu, meeting them by the window. "You've been annoying everyone all day."

"I have _not_," Hiruzen claimed, sputtering. "I have told you all _the truth!_"

"What truth?" asked Homura, completely zoned out.

"The truth that I _saw_—"

"Tobirama!"

The door slammed open, and Mariko appeared, eyes wild. The Second demanded to know what had happened, but Mariko's mouth opened, and then closed, like a fish out of water. She seemed confused, as if she couldn't seem to get out what she wanted to say, and was inwardly having an argument with her throat.

"No, I didn't see Tobirama-sensei," Hiruzen said, completely ignoring her outburst. He was quite good at that. "I saw Hashirama-sama."

Everyone stared at him, then.

"You did too?!" they exclaimed, with the exception of a gaping Koharu and a bored Homura.

"So I'm _not_ hallucinating, then," Mariko sighed.

"Have you all gone insane?!" Koharu shouted.

They all began to argue over what they had seen, Toka shook her head and pointed out the window, Mito and Tobirama turned to look outside again, and Hiruzen leapt about the room for some reason.

"Is this what happens when I leave?"

They all turned to the new voice. Koharu paled upon seeing the slightly transparent figure, his legs sort of shimmering and fading at the feet. She could see the door through his body, through his white Hokage robes and his brown hair.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Hashirama asked.

Everyone blacked out for a moment…

* * *

Orochimaru didn't believe her when she said that she'd seen her grandfather alive and well, walking the streets of Konoha.

"I think you need some medicine."

"Shut up," Tsunade retorted, glaring. "I _saw _him."

Suddenly, Jiraiya came running up to them, a horrified expression on his face. He grabbed young Tsunade by the shoulders and shook her violently, screaming about how he'd seen her grandfather by the ramen shop. Orochimaru rolled his eyes, but the white-headed boy insisted that he had seen the First.

Tsunade felt a tingling at her neck, and fingered her grandfather's necklace. She was sure, now, that Hashirama had been here.

* * *

The sun had set quite a few hours ago, and after the Hashirama incident, everyone had quietly filed out of Tobirama's room and returned to their daily lives, hoping that they all had just been dreaming. Though, from the reports of a few villagers, his great-niece, his wife, his sister-in-law, his cousin, his students, among several others, he doubted that he was the only one who saw the ghost that day. Either he was seriously in a bad dream that he couldn't get out of, at the moment, or Hashirama was haunting the village.

Tobirama sighed.

"The paperwork's as bad as I told you, right?"

Tobirama spun around to see his older brother leaning against the windowsill rather casually, watching the evening activities of the village. The younger Senju's eyes widened.

"Wondering why I'm here?" the First asked, chuckling.

"You're scaring the hell out of us," Tobirama replied flatly.

"I know. Your expression is pretty amusing, Tobi."

"Shut up." He was having a conversation with a ghost. Tobirama wondered whether he was going insane. Thinking back, he _had _seen Tenzou the cat look rather appalled that morning, but he hadn't known why. (Explanation: Hashirama had been sitting alongside the tree, rather at peace with the morning sun filtering through the willow's leaves…)

"Just checking up on you," Hashirama smiled. He shrugged. Another figure materialized beside him, and to Tobirama's shock, he realized that it was Izuna. The Uchiha's image was slightly lighter than Hashirama's, as if he had a hard time casting his image in the world of the living, and it was difficult for him to stay. He also had his eyes, both of them, and was calmly watching the scenario with his Sharingan deactivated.

"It's about time to go," he said quietly, nodding at Hashirama, and then at the younger Senju. He faded quickly, a slight gust of wind signaling his leave.

"It's harder for him to appear," Hashirama murmured to himself. Perhaps it was the vigorous life force of the Senju that had allowed Hashirama to stay as long as he had. If he could, he would visit some other time…

"Nii-san?" Tobirama said suddenly. Hashirama was slightly surprised, seeing as Tobirama had stopped addressing him casually in a familial matter for a long time now. It was even before he killed Madara…maybe a bit before Mito appeared. It had always been "Hashirama" now, or a more formal version of "older brother". Well, that was to say, when Hashirama was alive, anyway.

Hashirama smiled, feeling that his spectral image was fading. He looked down, seeing that now, instead of his feet fading away, he was nearly invisible up to his waist. It was time to leave; a day home had been more than enough. Turning to his younger brother, who was looking a little alarmed now—a face he had not seen since they were little boys, and Tobirama would have died falling off that cliff if Hashirama hadn't been there to catch him with his Wood Style—Hashirama smiled again.

Placing his hand on Tobirama's head, he lightly patted the white hair so unlike his own. Tobirama's eyes flickered warily, watching as the hand began to drift away in wisps of mist and Hashirama's form disintegrated gradually.

"I'm proud of you, Tobirama."

* * *

"Somehow, I feel like I just had a terrible nightmare," Tsunade said, years later. On her left, lay Jiraiya, spread-eagled on his sleeping bag. It wasn't cold, really. On her right, was Orochimaru, tucked comfortably into his blankets and staring away from them, at nothing.

"A nightmare about what?" Jiraiya inquired, sitting up.

Tsunade touched her necklace.

"Ghosts."

"Ghosts?" Jiraiya laughed, mentioning the one time he'd seen one. Other than that, he claimed he didn't believe in them, besides the slight shiver that ran up his spine. Tsunade shook her head.

Her grandfather and great-uncle had been dead for a long time, now. Her great-aunt, too, had passed away several years ago. Grandmother Mito, with her unbelievable life force, had lasted until the newest Academy year. She had been sad to see her grandmother go, as well. Tsunade was almost always the last one at every funeral, staring at the memorial and the pictures of grim-faced shinobi and kunoichi that supposedly represented the loving memories of her family. Nawaki and Dan, too.

"Tsunade?" asked Jiraiya. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, shaking her head.

From his position facing away from them, Orochimaru smiled to himself. He pulled the small scroll from his pocket, and fingered the rough paper. By the dim firelight nearly obscured by his own shadow, he read the few words painted onto the wooden box that accompanied it:

**_ EDO TENSEI._**

* * *

-insert ominous music here-

Strange, eh? Thoughts, comments, burning concerns! DESIRES?!

ObiRin feels. lol.


	20. The Holiday Season

This one's a bit...different.

EXTREMELY NARUTO SD INSPIRED!

Sort of random, sort of long, but I hope you find it at least mildly funny!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, because...does Konoha actually have a Konoha Mall?

**Disclaimer 2: **All stores belong to respective owners/companies. Inaccurate depiction of stores is...a mistake, and not meant in any serious way. (Because putting real world stores in Konoha is fun.)

* * *

**Chapter 20: ****The Holiday Season**

Ah, the lovely village of Konoha, a place of both peaceful holiday cheer and frenzied last minute shopping during the winter season. As Christmas and the New Year approach, citizens of the Leaf indulge in all that is holiday festivity. Whether than includes going for a sledding trip down the big hill behind the training fields, or dragging hopeless family members along to the new public mall because you forgot to shop for presents, everything is a package deal in Konoha's holiday season.

While the sledding hill was very popular this year, many chose the latter part of Konoha's cheery holiday hustle and bustle — last minute, Hokage-worthy shopping battles. The mall was doomed to be filled with the screams of hysterical women and their poor, meandering husbands, as well as rogue shopping carts crashing down the escalators courtesy of a few uncouth genin. Shoppers venturing alone are warned of many potential dangers, many of which include unnecessarily large shinobi techniques, and are told to take cover should an Inuzuka pick a fight with an Akimichi. (It should be added that many clans are required to rein in their young ones, especially the violent kids who like trying out new jutsu in the worst places at the worst times…)

Inuzuka Shiro was probably one of the worst people to bring to the mall, yet someone always managed to drag him into it. He hated shopping, but the idea of causing havoc in the mall was just too appealing to turn down. So, this holiday season, be prepared for at least one Inuzuka chasing down the tail of some misfortunate village dweller in an epic chase to the pet store.

Of the poor, pitiable husbands who somehow got stuck with their wives on a designated shopping day, Senju Tobirama was inevitably included. Seeing as he lost the "I think she'll punch him/ I think he won't punch him" bet between himself and Hashirama, concerning whether or not Madara was bothering Toka enough for her to punch him—Tobirama thought she would, while Hashirama took the opposite side; Hashirama won—Tobirama was now sentenced to a torturous day…at the mall.

The white-haired Senju exchanged exasperated glances with other harried husbands, all laden with shopping bags of various sizes and colors; even the ones from the undergarment store.

So while Tobirama faced utter humiliation upon running into his own team (unfortunately), and Mariko continued to lead him from store to store with endless shopping stamina, the Uchiha faced a similar predicament:

Kagami liked a girl.

Now, one may be thinking, _What does this have to do with holiday shopping?_

But you see, it has _everything_ to do with holiday shopping, because when it comes to impressing people—girls, in particular—Uchiha men are no slackers. Kagami was determined to keep this standard alive, and thus declared that he needed to buy her the best gift possible. In addition, he'd forgotten the Secret Santa project that his entire Academy grade had been working on, so he'd better get started on that too (AKA Kagami forgot to get his team Christmas presents, and if he didn't haul ass and buy something impressive, Toka would have his head, and the Uchiha would start a massive war for his poor, guillotined neck).

That, and because the girl he liked was on another team, he had to buy "lesser" gifts for those two to make it seem like he was trying harder for her. Or something ridiculous like that.

It did not help that Kagami chose Izuna to help him.

"Izuna-sama! I need your help!"

* * *

Mariko was _sure_ that Tobirama had been standing _right there_, by the shoes. Seriously, he had _all of her shoes_. Those were indispensible, _vital_ for her to go on with her shopping quest. (Not that the shoes were for herself; Gifts, of course. And then some for herself…and Mito! Don't forget Mito…)

How is it possible for an impossibly tall (compared to Mariko, anyway), white-haired man to disappear? It wasn't like they lived in the Frost Country, where Tobirama's white hair would have hidden him in the snowy landscape.

Clutching the awesome pair of pumps that she was determined to send to Hurricane somehow, Mariko ran to the checkout express lane, bought them, and hurried outside to see if Tobirama had gone there. Without success, she slid the shoes into her purse and checked all around the store again. Nope. The little blunette sprinted down out, in search of her missing shopping dog. She looked left and right frantically, hoping to catch a glimpse of her desired target.

Suddenly, Mariko slammed into a tall, muscular figure. She cursed herself for searching everywhere but in front of her, and hoped that the person was Tobirama. Well, such a hope was rather improbable, but she hoped anyway. It turned out to be the very last person she expected to see at the mall that day.

"Madara?"

* * *

"Kagami, my man!" Inuzuka Shiro slung an arm around the Uchiha, grinning widely and flashing his canines. Shiro, who was on a team with Biwako (Hiruzen's future wife, somehow), and one very negative, very arrogant Hyuuga Hideaki, was the life of his team. Meanwhile, Biwako quietly browsed the dress section, and Hideaki (fondly called Aki, though it is not quite clear who is fond of him…) glared at the wall (for an unknown reason).

"If it isn't Shiro," Kagami chuckled nervously, sulking slightly at his plans of discreetly buying gifts ruined for the moment. Kagami failed to realize that running around full speed whilst leading a blind Uchiha who happened to be the younger brother of the clan head was very, very, _very_ conspicuous. So terribly noticeable, that Kagami thought no one would notice. Somehow.

"Whatcha buying?" drawled Shiro, taking a peek in Kagami's bag. The young Uchiha snapped the shopping bags away from the prying fingers of his friend, whose doggish grin was annoying him to no end. "Late shopping? No worries, we're the same."

"Totally looks like it," Kagami answered dubiously, seeing how Biwako was now trying on different hair ties, and Aki's glare had turned its wrath on Kagami. The two despised one another, but rarely exchanged words unless provoked.

"Kagami." Izuna gestured at the cash register. How he knew that way was the cash register, no one ever knew. "The shop people are getting annoyed."

"Oh, thanks Izuna-sama." Kagami thought Izuna-sama was the coolest mentor ever.

"KAGAMI!"

Kagami cringed. The Loud One had arrived, namely a monkey whose mouth never seemed to be able to stop, let alone close.

"Late shopping?" Hiruzen asked vigorously. "No worries, we're—"

"Hey man, don't be a parrot," Shiro cut in.

"Parrot?" The two delved into an idiotic conversation that neither seemed to understand, nor remember later on.

"Hey Kagami," Hiruzen continued, abruptly breaking off a retort at Shiro's witty remark and starting a new conversation. "I saw Tobirama-sensei earlier. He was like…a snowman decked in shopping bags."

"That's _hilarious_," Kagami deadpanned sarcastically, paying for his purchases while still trying to keep Shiro and co. from seeing the secret items. "I've gotta go." He made a dash for the door, and somehow, Izuna kept right up with him.

(All Izuna really said was "Make sure I don't trip" or something along those lines.)

* * *

"Have you seen Tobirama?" Mariko asked.

"Snowball? Nope." Madara shook his head. He then glanced over the railing—they were on the second floor—and caught sight of Team Toka minus Kagami. Not that he cared. "Oh wait, maybe I did. That-a-way, blue princess."

He pointed at the escalator.

"I believe he and a few other hapless husbands fled to Payless Shoes." Madara nodded, this time, confident with his answer. The Uchiha could be helpful…when they wanted to be.

"Thanks, Madara. See you around." With one last, sort of confused, sort of grateful glance, Mariko turned on her heel and headed in the direction he pointed at. Madara, still looking down the balcony, waved nonchalantly back at her.

* * *

"That…actually looks really good," Danzo said quietly, watching Torifu admire his ice cream super deluxe meltdown chocolate fudge extreme delight.

"I know, right? Wanna grab a spoon and have some?"

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously." Torifu grinned. That was, until Inuzuka Shiro whooped and leapt by on a skateboard, bumping into Torifu and sending his ice cream super deluxe meltdown chocolate fudge extreme delight crashing into the ground with a horrifying _SPLAT!_

"Oh, man, I'm so sorry!" Shiro exclaimed, spinning to a halt. Torifu stared at his poor ice cream in dismay, an expression which quickly morphed into sudden Akimichi rage. Danzo wondered whether or not he should call the Mall Shinobi Police Forces—the only police force not Uchiha, because Uchiha were not "lowly enough to work in malls", apparently—because an Akimichi and an Inuzuka had just engaged in battle. This was Code Red, Generic Emergency #127: Endangering Holiday Shopper Security.

"Shiro, you _idiot!_" shouted Biwako, huffing.

"You're _all _idiots," grumbled Aki, receiving a harsh reprimand.

An epic battle—as epic as genin can get—commenced.

* * *

Tobirama ducked past the shop where Toka was looking at shoes. What is with women and their shoes?! He dodged her view and followed a couple of his old friends, fellow married men who suffered the wraths of their wives in Holiday Shopping Mode. Especially last-minute shoppers who defied the laws of the shinobi world and trampled each other to get to the super clearance sales.

"Hey, man. Everyone's finished wiping out Payless Shoes®, let's head there," suggested the lead husband in this hazardously put-together band of misfit, misguided spouses.

Tobirama had a bad feeling about going towards shoes…

* * *

The Inuzuka's skateboard rolled down the mall's halls. Madara stepped on its edge and stopped it. He considered it for a moment, and then grinned mischievously. It was like he was 12 years old all over again, back when he and Izuna liked jumping off cliffs just to see if his gigantic Uchiha fan could be flown on…

* * *

Toka was having the strangest day. She was picking out shoes for her baby niece, and she had been eyeing an adorable pair of white leather sandals, complete with a pink flower on the straps, but things outside the shop continued to irk her. First, it was a couple of rowdy kids, then after that, a suspicious band of creeping men, then the uncouth genin again, and finally—

Was that Madara on a skateboard?

The mall was a bizarre place…

* * *

It was upon nearly losing Izuna in Sports Authority® that Kagami had a holiday season realization:

He hadn't gotten the clan head a gift.

So, the Uchiha boy frantically dragged said clan head's younger brother to the Konoha Mall's weapons department (because that exists), that lovely section of the mall where all ninja must frequent for supply replenishing. Somewhere in the "Scrolls and Summoning" aisle, Izuna was captivated by…_something_, leaving Kagami to frantically search for an appropriate gift. Maybe something simple would do.

When Kagami found the "Kunai Deluxe Set: Befitting for any Clan Leader!" set, he dashed to the checkout counter. However, he neglected the rules and regulations of the weapons department, and the checkout clerk sort of just smirked at him.

"Sorry kid, can't let you buy that."

"Why?" demanded Kagami.

"Uh. Read the sign," the pimply teenager replied. He couldn't have been much older than Kagami, but proudly wore a chuunin flak jacket, complete with the price tag he'd forgotten to take off. Kagami rolled his eyes, but looked at the sign anyway.

"What about it?" Kagami saw nothing concerning. Uchiha eyes tended to skip over any unwanted bits and pieces, leaving only the satisfactory parts for comprehending.

"Uh, man." The clerk rolled his eyes, exasperated. "You're not allowed to buy them. Only shinobi of chuunin rank or higher are allowed to buy things here. Even then, you need a _membership card_ to purchase weapons."

This kid obviously hadn't been here before, the clerk was thinking to himself. Kagami contemplated for a moment, and then told the other boy that it was _vital_ and _essential_ and _life-threatening_, this situation was. He needed this gift. The checkout boy sort of just sniggered imprudently and shook his head.

"Sorry, I can't do anything for you without a card. In fact, a card and a guardian would easily get you this _extremely important gift_," the clerk sneered. Kagami was about the snap back angrily at the clerk when a hand reached over his shoulder, a membership card in its fingers. Kagami's eyes became saucers as he stared at the magical arm; the clerk glared at the card. That is, until he looked up to the owner of the membership.

"Get this boy his weapons," a familiar voice drawled, setting a hand firmly on Kagami's left shoulder. If Kagami's knees had not locked, he would've fainted dead away, leaving Uchiha Madara with a mess he didn't want to deal with.

"Y-y-yessir!" stuttered the clerk, swiping the card and scanning Kagami's items. He hastily bagged them,

"Madara-sama?" exclaimed Kagami, staring wide-eyed up at the clan head. He hoped his plans had not been ruined.

"Hey Kagami. Don't let these people give you trouble," was all Madara said. He took his card back and slipped it into his wallet. The wallet seemed to appear from nowhere—ninja had a thing for doing that. Madara was especially talented at it. He could make an entire horse disappear, if he wanted to. Well, the horse would have to stay first. As far as most people knew, horses ran away at the sight of Madara, perhaps because he gave off such a menacing aura. Though a horse expert from Hurricane might have said otherwise, seeing as Madara had seemed rather amicable and negotiable today. Seriously, he was being _nice_.

"Of course not! We Uchiha are—" Kagami was cut off by a lupine howl and a battle cry. The source of the former cry slammed into the Uchiha boy, knocking him off his feet and sending all his gifts sprawling onto the floor, startling the cash register clerk in the process. Inuzuka Shiro growled and got to his feet, dusting off his shirt.

"Sorry, Kagami." He sprinted away, dodging the next attack. Torifu was getting tired of doing his human meatball technique (whatever it really was…) and sort of just lingered by the decorative trees scattered throughout the mall. In the end, he just made Shiro buy him another ice cream super deluxe meltdown chocolate fudge extreme delight.

"So you broke that window for nothing?" Hiruzen gestured the weapons department, where the shattered glass had sent the clerk boy into a hysterical breakdown, screaming about how his boss was going to fire him or something like that.

"I didn't break it," Torifu said calmly.

"I didn't break it either," Shiro added, shrugging. "I flew through the doors, not the window."

The group glanced over and saw Hyuuga Aki, who shrugged. They turned to Koharu, who shook her head, then to Biwako, who pursed her lips, and then to Homura, who wasn't even paying attention.

"I swear, if you guys cause _any more trouble_," a menacing voice began. The genin cringed in terror, for all academy students were taught to fear certain people. One of those people happened to be a strict, terrifying, freakin' scary Senju woman by the name of Toka, and there she was, standing before them, looming like a ghoulish fiend prepared to devour the souls of little children.

"Ah, Toka-sensei! Merry Christmas!" Kagami handed her a box, hoping to pacify his teacher's growing irritation.

"Thanks, Kagami." Toka smiled, slightly, and then turned on Hiruzen. Kagami shrugged helplessly; at least he had tried. "Sarutobi Hiruzen! What is the meaning of this?!"

Toka then held up a security camera photo, in which Hiruzen was rollerblading through the attached Walmart® Superstore whilst waving a flag bearing the symbol of Kirigakure. The group sniggered, and then Toka turned on Shiro.

"You too! What is this?! A skateboard?!" Toka shoved the picture at the Inuzuka, whose eyes grew wide as he saw, very clearly, his own wild hair in a blur as he skated between racks of undergarments in Victoria's Secret®. Ashamed, the boy hung his head, though his mouth was twisted in some sort of attempt to keep from smiling.

A skateboard mysteriously rolled up the group. Toka glanced up to see Uchiha Madara, stepping rather carelessly over the sea of glass.

"Sorry about that," he told the clerk boy. "My brother tends to break things."

"I do not." Izuna glared, without eyes, at his brother. "I just have eyeless Mangekyo Sharingan, that's how powerful I am."

"I believe it, Izuna," Madara sighed, smiling at his brother. Izuna only ever told jokes on rare occasions, so he supposed it was alright to smile for once. Smile genuinely, that is. Madara then whipped his Sharingan on, and searched through the mall. "Ah, there she is."

He spotted Mariko wheeling through the mall on one of those wild, untamable shopping carts let loose by another ludicrously sugar-high genin. She spun around the corner and pulled up the shopping cart, as if it was drawn by horses. The "horses" then spooked at Madara's presence and wheeled away, the shopping cart screeching back to Marshalls® and Home Goods® by the hands of some beginner puppeteer.

"I found your husband," Madara stated flatly.

"Did you?" Mariko answered.

"He's in Payless Shoes®, I don't really know why," Madara mused thoughtfully. The group of genin stared at him, pausing for a moment to watch a group of Suna kids bound past them—a redhead flinging chakra strings about, a boy just a bit younger than her with the strangest eyebrows, and a taller boy with black hair and sharp eyes who sort of just sauntered after them—before returning their attention to the Uchiha clan leader.

"Um. Madara-sama, what are you doing?" Koharu ventured boldly. Biwako, Shiro, and Hiruzen all took a sharp breath, the intake a loud enough gasp to warrant some attention from Izuna, whose hearing was sharper than a bat's.

"Searching for that ridiculously pale Senju," the clan leader answered. He glanced at Koharu, then glanced at Kagami. Then he grinned. For Kagami, it was such a scary smile that he shrank backwards. He bumped into Izuna, who patted his shoulder nonchalantly, imperturbable. "He's still there, Mariko."

"Thanks," Mariko said cheerfully. Her face then darkened, and if possible, the intensity of her glare beat out that of Mito's and Toka's combined—just for a moment, though. All the genin shrank away. Even Madara made a face (him being the man who could be frightened into a curling ball of nonsensical, traumatized mumbling upon Mito's "glare of doom"…), though he and Izuna didn't move back.

"Give him my best regards," Madara quipped, as the little blunette stalked menacingly over to Payless Shoes® to fish out her husband.

The group was quiet.

Madara turned to Kagami, and looked him in the eye. Though he had his Sharingan deactivated, Kagami fought hard to resist the urge to scream for his mother and hide behind Toka, because he feared the complete Mangekyo. Izuna patted his shoulder though, reassuring him.

"I must tell you, Kagami, that gifting that kunai set to me would be nice, but an effort made in vain."

"Um. Why?" asked Kagami.

"Well, I _made_ that kunai set."

* * *

The husbands were lounging rather peacefully, out the back door of Payless Shoes® and in a little comfort area with leather couches and coffee and even a few cookies. The Aburame man kept to himself, quietly sipping his still-steaming coffee and saying nothing, only the glint of his glasses as he nodded any hint to what he wished to convey. Meanwhile, several other husbands and/or fathers made themselves comfortable, finally away from their wives.

Tobirama felt relieved. He had escaped, even if it was just for a little. He knew he would face some major consequences upon returning, but seriously, this was really nice.

His happy time was cut short.

Mariko burst into the room, eyes flaming. She was closely followed by a hoard of angry mothers and/or wives who looked like they should have been carrying pitchforks and flaming torches rather than clothes hangers and rolled up coupon catalogues.

"Senju Tobirama," Mariko seethed. "Stand up."

Tobirama stood.

"How did you find me?" he said, trying to sound calm. Tobirama utterly and completely failed, his voice rising an octave and a half higher than usual, making him sound like a horribly pubescent boy who couldn't control his voice cracks. The word "you" experienced a terrible leap in octaves, Tobirama's voice lilting and slipping into a squeak that would've made Mariko laugh in any other situation.

"You have Uchiha Madara to thank," Mariko smiled.

Tobirama swore he'd get Hashirama to kill that man, or something of the like.

"And?"

"Be warned, Tobirama." Mariko advanced, her band of wives cackling deviously behind her, eyes glowing as their most evil plots were thought out. "Be warned…"

* * *

"What was that?" asked Madara. He heard a bone-chilling scream…well, screams, as in more than one person was scared to death on the other side of the mall.

"That was marriage," deadpanned Izuna. He easily stepped onto the escalator without tripping, and Madara wondered how in the world he did that. Was it practice, or was he faking blindness? As if reading his mind, Izuna added, "I see my feet from your eyes."

"That made no sense," Madara answered dryly.

"Madara-sama?" Kagami had been thinking about the odd smile that the clan leader had flashed him earlier.

"I'm telling you, Kagami," Madara suddenly burst out, as if he had been talking for the longest time. Uchiha tended to do that; talk about only what they wanted to talk about, anyway. If you told one of them that revenge was _not the answer_, he would definitely refuse all your thousands of reasons why revenge was _not the answer_, and promptly carry out his plans with little regard to "friends and family". If you told one of them that what they wanted wasn't necessarily what they needed—for example, if they wished to right the death of a loved one—they would brush you off, find an evil old mentor, train to rule the world, and then continue with their plots to rule the world, whilst taking advantage of another Uchiha bent on revenge to accomplish those plans. This was the Uchiha way.

In this area, the Senju were much more open-minded. Hashirama, who always made references to trees (until he got the hint that people were getting tired of his them), would say that the Senju had open arms like that of a great oak, taking in all ideas, no matter the point of view. That is, until someone tried to steal Mito, and the Valley of the End was formed.

"If you like a girl, _go tell her_. Though the fact that your teacher is a Senju irks me…" Madara rambled on, switching from topic to topic with the ease of a shinobi reading an Icha Icha book. "Then, you see, nail care is important because one time, Izuna…"

Kagami suddenly wondered what sort of experience the clan head had with women. Seeing as the Hokage's wife always slapped him silly (did Madara provoke her on purpose, or what?), Kagami assumed that Madara would not be the best to go to for girl advice.

"My _Susano'o_, Kagami," Madara exclaimed. "You really need to pay attention."

"Sorry, Madara-sama."

"No, really. You didn't hear a word I said about your Koharu, didn't you?"

At this, Kagami could do nothing but stammer out a few words, flabbergasted.

"Did you think I didn't know?" Madara asked, arching a brow. He was rather amused at the hue of red that was filling Kagami's face. Seeing as people didn't blush often, this was a moment of embarrassment in which oxygen ceased circulating in Kagami's blood. Or he was holding his breath, and it was turning his face red.

"I knew," Izuna piped up. "You've been giving her the googly eyes."

"How do you even see that?!" Kagami pulled at his hair, frustrated. Izuna smiled enigmatically, holding a secret he would bring to his grave. Even Madara and his little minions knew nothing of his special abilities. To not see is to see, in Izuna's case. He was blind, but he had that uncanny sixth sense regarding many things.

"Kagami!" called a new voice. The Uchiha trio looked over to see Mariko, waving. She had a small journal in her left hand, while her right one dragged Tobirama by the sleeve. The poor Senju looked miserable; Madara thought he deserved it, at least for now.

Mariko tossed the journal. It was titled: _Things Koharu Might Like_, with a smiley face and a heart doodled next to the text. At this point, Kagami was wondering if everyone knew.

"It's only me and those two!" Mariko said, reassuring him. She then dragged Tobirama away. If it was any consolation, Tobirama was promised some delicious pillow time later (this made him perk up).

"I guess…I should go buy something?" Kagami said. He looked around cautiously, wary of rolling human meat tanks, dog-boys, negative Hyuuga kids (Aki had threatened to stab a few vital chakra points and leave them all sputtering for mercy on the ground, though that was terribly extreme and Biwako scolded him for it), and crazy monkeys.

"Of course, boy!" Madara exclaimed. He was glad he came; this was quite fun. "All I see here is…what is this?" He picked up an article. "This is obviously for your father, this is for your mother, and oh, so kind, something for your little brother—" Izuna nodded as Madara said this, smiling, "—and this is obviously for the monkey, these shoes are for Toka, I can just tell, and why did you buy something for Hashirama? You're full of nonsense, Kagami. And this is for Tobirama…huh. Befitting. This is for Mariko—wow, you know your Senju well—and what is this? Is this for Mito? She'd like the color…" Madara continued to pick through Kagami's bags, easily distinguishing which gifts were for which teammates/family members. Perhaps it was his Sharingan that helped him.

"You can keep this kunai set for yourself," Madara continued, "from me. And Izuna, too." Izuna nodded.

"What about—"

"Your girl? That's easy. _Read the book_." Madara gestured at the journal Mariko had tossed to him. How this journal came to be, he wasn't sure he wanted to know. The pages of the journal emitted a mysteriously enchanting light, as if it held the secrets to the world (Secrets that did not contain the words "Because you let Rin die" or "I am an avenger" or "To become one with this world" or "Because becoming Hokage is my dream!").

Kagami held before him a holy journal…

* * *

Inuzuka Shiro sighed, helping sweep up the mess he'd apparently caused. He, Hiruzen, and for some reason Danzo, were tidying up the broken glass. Biwako and Koharu were restacking boxes of supplies that they had knocked over, while Homura and Aki grumbled about how they were involved in this mess ("My teammates are idiots" and "Tell me about it…").

"Seriously, this happens every year," the manager of the weapons department said at one point. "Can't these kids' parents keep them in check?"

This angered Shiro, who threatened to run home, get his best friend, a trusty Shiba Inu by the name of Jirou, and take down the manager. Torifu stopped him though, while preserving his ice cream this time. So, instead of getting Jirou and pulling a few Fang-over-fang attacks on the store, Shiro cursed the weapons shop of Konoha Mall.

Let it be known that Inuzuka curses are nearly as potent as Uchiha boys bent on revenge.

* * *

It would be a while, but the manager and his son, the next manager, would face great horror when a cotton ball snowflake, a snake boy, and a blonde girl broke down the entire wall of ninja fans. It didn't help that the girl had the strength of fifty elephants, and that the window shattered upon impact of a wooden shelf. The wooden shelf had been hit by another shelf, which had fallen over as a result of the domino effect of falling shelves, punched by the little blonde girl in the back of the store. The Second Hokage had a great time with that. A few years later, the young Third Hokage had a lot more fun when the snake boy let all the pet store snakes out, inducing a scared rampage by the blonde girl, who slapped the cotton ball silly and destroyed the store again.

After that, they had little luck with angry redheads (not blondes, this time), because the next one that walked in was hotter than a habanero, and she managed to wrestle the clerk boy—now going through a midlife crisis as an older man—and pull most of his hair out (not that he had much left, anyway). She also knocked down the ninja fans, and as a bonus, broke that same window again. Only the help of a docile-looking Uchiha girl and a soft-faced blonde boy proved to be helpful.

And then, the Uchiha proved to be bad, too, because one boy, after slapping his goggles onto his face, determined to find a great gift, accidentally knocked over the shelves. These shelves, unwisely arranged so that even without the force of fifty elephants, could all teeter and totter over, until they all crashed into the front window. The boy apologized at least fifty times, as did his two teammates. He never paid them back, though, seeing as he died on the next mission he set out on. It made the new manager very sad, seeing as he had yelled at the poor boy. (Well, no problem, because the boy exacted revenge by summoning the Kyuubi next to the mall…)

Finally, the most recent incidents involved yet another blonde, except he had the mischievous face of that redhead, and would _not_ shut up about how he was going to be Hokage someday. When he left for three years, the mall breathed a sigh of relief, but when he returned, the little blonde girl who had become Hokage nearly cried.

History tends to repeat itself, especially for this mall…

* * *

Oh, and Orochimaru, sorry, this is a super sale only for couples and families.

* * *

Hashirama the ghost stared at the mall. Oh how this mall caused him so much trouble. He saw that it had been expanded, with some older parts renovated and redone, but it was still the same Konoha Mall. He chuckled to himself. His granddaughter now saw why this mall caused him so much pain; she had been part of the reason, after all.

* * *

Tobirama was awfully sore the next morning. His muscles ached from carrying all those bags, and he was tired from the night before, as well. He rolled over. Seeing Mariko's face, peaceful and happy for the holidays, was worth it. He smiled. The punishment wasn't…_that_ bad. He'd also managed to buy a pair of shoes at Payless Shoes® that Mito was bound to like. Maybe he'd get on her good side this year.

(Mito knows if you're naughty or nice…)

_She sees you when you're sleeping, she knows when you're awake_…that was Mariko, really.

_She knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake!_ That could be Mariko, but Mito fit the bill better. Mariko rolled over and hugged him as Tobirama wondered whether Hashi had ever had any trouble with women and shoes…and holiday shopping.

* * *

"Hey, Gramps. Have you ever been to Konoha Mall?" the boy asked, fingering the scarf that the old man had just given to him for his birthday. How the old man knew his birthday was today, the boy didn't know, but he appreciated it. The old man certainly felt a bit of his cold, ancient heart warm up upon seeing the boy's bright smile. It was almost as if the boy was the son he never had.

"I have, why?" the old man rumbled quietly from his seat.

"Just wondering. Crazy stuff always happens there. I broke a window, once," the boy admitted, grimacing.

"My brother broke a window," the old man murmured.

"I broke the weapons department window," laughed the boy. He glanced in the mirror, a sad, dusty thing hanging on the rock wall. One of the Zetsu had found it one day, and brought it back to the cavern triumphantly. The boy admired the sequoia green scarf against his black outfit. He then hesitantly fingered the scars on his face; they didn't bother him much, though.

"Did you?" the old man chuckled. "My brother broke the same one."

"That mall is crazy," the boy laughed. He went on to tell the old man of how husbands hid in Payless Shoes® despite trying to escape wives that were _buying _shoes, how he'd tried to buy a gift for his elders and for the girl he liked, but ended up breaking that window… "It wasn't my fault, honest. The Inuzuka kid bumped into me."

The old man chuckled.

Some things in Konoha never changed.

* * *

Well. _That _was an adventure.

Thoughts? Comments? Concerns? MORE BURNING DESIRES?! (like a yummeh Tobirama?)

Thanks for the reviews, you guys make my day!

...this is becoming like the adventures of Momdara and Hashidad.

What happened to Tobirama and Mariko?! (nooooo)

I was tempted to make this its own story. Oh well. XD

Ciao ciao ~


	21. Senju Warrior

Meow.

**Disclaimer: **Naruto doesn't belong to me, because I expected Rin to pop up among the Juubi's hands in ch. 613 (for what reason, I don't really know). Also, Obito and Momdara sprouted HashiDNA arms of blobby blubglub stuff, so that was creepy.

Also, if I owned Naruto, Kagami would've played the guitar. Electric.

* * *

**Chapter 21: ****Senju Warrior**

Tenzou the cat lounged in his tree, one paw dangling off the branch while he licked the other, occasionally flicking his tail back and forth. He was a peaceful cat, at most times, but sharp-eyed and quick. His coat was a plain brown, the color of dry dirt, with a few dusty black tabby stripes running along his back. He had one white paw, his back left, and a splotch of white on his chin to his chest. He had proud, upright ears, the keenest hearing, and night vision as sharp as Uchiha Madara's.

Tenzou considered himself a Senju cat.

He also considered himself the guardian of the Senju's main complex, where their glorious clan leader, Tree Man of the Long Mane who offered him delicious bits of chicken from time to time, and his wife, Red Mistress, lived. Tenzou was also rather fond of the Blueberry Girl, though sometimes a bit suspicious of Snowman. Despite his suspicion, though, he knew that the Snowman meant well, especially when he left behind scraps of dinner that were beyond amazing.

Occasionally, Tenzou saw Wild Eye of the Wild Hair and his littermate, No Eyes, would creep around the perimeters of the property. During these times, Tenzou would prowl through the heavy underbrush of the surrounding forest, hackles raised and ready to pounce. He relaxed considerably when the Red Mistress created an incredibly strong invisible fence. It was so potent, the cat himself stayed well away from it. There was no reason to leave his Senju haven, anyway.

He also found amusement among the activities of the Three Little Kittens. One was Loud Meow, one was Moody Meow, and one was Smart Meow. Tenzou often watched them creep up on Snowman's room. He purred approvingly at their catlike grace upon stalking to the doorway; the world of shinobi trained them well.

"Meowwwww!" exclaimed Loud Meow that day, running his fingers through his hair. Tenzou watched him prance about on his two hind legs, paws waving in the air.

"Nyaaaaah!" Moody Meow snapped at him.

Smart Meow sighed.

"Nyameow?" said Snowman, emerging from his room. His hair was ruffled and messy, and he looked like he had thrown on his clothes haphazardly in approximately three seconds.

"Nyahahahaha!" laughed Loud Meow loudly. He mentioned something that vaguely sounded amusing, but Tenzou couldn't make it out, let alone understand it. He sort of heard Wild Eye's name mentioned—he recognized names—but heard nothing of No Eyes. Tenzou didn't mind No Eyes, because he sometimes petted his head when Tenzou ventured past the invisible fence. When Wild Eye came over though, Tenzou hightailed it out of the area.

"Nya meow meow," Snowman deadpanned.

"Nya meow Blueberry mew mew?" quipped Loud Meow, snorting as he laughed hysterically. Tenzou wished he could understand, because it seemed like the young boy was having a great time. Moody had turned a slight shade of red, Smart Meow a similar shade, but both were trying to suppress grins.

"Meow nya, Loud Meow!"

"Snowman-sensei mew nya mew mew?" teased Loud Meow.

"Loud Meow," glared Moody. Tenzou randomly thought that her hair buns looked like meatballs, and he suddenly craved some food.

All of a sudden, there was a slam and a yell, and the shouts of Senju were heard. Wild Eye had set a tree right outside the complex on fire, to Tree Man's dismay.

"Nya meow nya!" declared Wild Eye, just short of cackling evilly.

"Nyan mreow," Tree Man replied firmly. Tenzou admired his strong, formal ways of speech; clear, eloquent, and always confident. Sometimes, the lithe little tabby tried yowling a few words of his own, but it never came out as well as Tree Man.

"Meowww! Gahhh!" Loud Meow hollered.

"Loud Meow!" Moody snapped at him again.

"...Mew mew, nya nya," sighed Smart, shaking his head.

Tenzou, confused as to what was happening, looked around. Tree Man had thoroughly scolded Wild Eyes, who sort of just grinned. Blueberry peered out her door as Snowman put out the fire, and Red Mistress was now standing in the courtyard with her hands on her hips, muttering about how another invisible fence was to be put up. Tenzou scrambled to her side and wrapped himself around her legs, purring. Red Mistress stroked his ears and tickled his chin, scooping him up in her arms as she watched the scenario with an exasperated expression.

Tenzou, for the moment, felt safe from any flaming tree or evil man with unnatural eyes. It wasn't until the Three Kittens attempted to bring a fluffy white ball of evil with them—a long-haired, purebred feline named something strange like Tobi—that Tenzou felt the need to defend his territory once more.

As the Senju's warrior cat, he would defend his position until the Hokage Mountain crumbled, the moon became a monster, and the Sage of Cats summoned him to the sky.

* * *

Gist of the cat talk:

Hiruzen: I'm so boredddd!

Koharu: Quiet, Hiruzen! You're annoying!

Homura sighs.

Tobirama: Wha-whaaaa? What are you guys doing here so early?

Hiruzen: -eyes Tobirama- Haha...hahahahaha! (you look like you just rolled out of bed!)

Tobirama: I did, you idiot. -glare-

Hiruzen: I'm sorry, did I interrupt your yum time with Mariko? -arches eyebrows mischievously-

Tobirama: Shut up, Saru!

Hiruzen: Awww, is Tobirama-sensei embarrassed? -grin-

Koharu: Oh my _gosh_, Hiruzen... -glare-

ALL OF A SUDDEN...

Madara: Senju Hashirama, I have finally defeated you! -cackles as he burns a tree-

Hashirama: (facepalms) Madara, cease your ridiculousness.

Hiruzen: AHH! It's Uchiha Madara! Run for it!

Koharu: Hiruzen! (What would Kagami say?!) Seriously!

Homura: . . . why me?

**End note: **Um. Hope you liked it? XD (laughs)


	22. Possession

This one's sort of weird. Started with me sort of mad at someone accusing me of something, and then progressed into something sort or murky. I'm not sure what it is, but it's Kagami-centric. (Oooh that person just made me mad again... lol... stop harping on my computer time! Let me type in peaceeee. -laughs-)

(He's muttering now. Shaddaaaappppp. Can't study. lol How funny.)

Kagami goes to Mariko to talk. And then some dark stuff happens, and...I have no idea how this happened.

ANYWAY. Enjoy! (errrr...as much as that's possible, anyway)

**A/N: **I hate when people mutter to themselves, and its obvious that they're bashing you. (Oh my brother...why are you so... graaahhh. How do Naruto characters do it?)

**Disclaimer: **Naruto's not mine, because I have no idea what happened to Kagami.

* * *

**Chapter 22: ****Possession**

"What was that?" Toka snapped.

"Nothing," Kagami answered flatly.

"No, I saw it. Hand it over," Toka said impatiently.

"I didn't do anything," Kagami retorted, frowning. He seriously hadn't. However, Toka's stern face indicated that she wasn't accepting anything except a confession as an answer.

"I saw it," Toka repeated, irritated.

"I. Didn't. Do. Anything," Kagami stressed emphatically, raising his eyes to his sensei's. He glared, but didn't dare activate his Sharingan. Even if he did, his bloodline eyes only had two tomoe, and were essentially powerless against someone like Toka. They were taking a jounin promotion quiz, something that was issued to Konoha chuunin to assess whether they were ready to be judged as higher level shinobi. Such practices were abolished later, when they proved to be inefficient and hardly effective. It became a matter of judging by eye instead.

Danzo and Torifu remained silent, glancing furtively at their Uchiha teammate.

"Kagami," Toka said slowly, her voice almost menacing. Kagami tried not to flinch; he seriously hadn't done anything. "Give me that paper."

"What paper?" Kagami had no paper.

"Kagami. I don't have the Sharingan, but _I saw that_." Toka glared harder. Her gaze intensity was climbing up the scale, passing Mariko Level and bouncing between Madara Madness and Mito's Glare of Doom.

"Saw what?" Kagami stalled.

"Kagami!" Toka sentenced him to an hour of washing windows for lying to her. But lying about what? Kagami was still confused as he wiped down the windows of the Hokage building. He muttered a few swears, dropped a few f-bombs on his sensei—she was frustrating, at times—and continued cleaning glass.

* * *

If Tenzou the cat hadn't yowled when he did, Mariko would not have noticed the sulking Uchiha boy trying to enter Senju premises. He sometimes sought Tobirama out, but more often, he sought out Mariko because she was the best listener next to Izuna. But Izuna was dead, as was his older brother, and Kagami's father had taken the clan head title; not that Kagami ever talked to his father, anyway.

"What brings you here?" Mariko asked, trying to be cheerful. She knew well enough what happened though, after asking Toka why her student was swinging right outside Tobirama's window, shoving the dirt around the glass with a cloth, a sponge, and a bucket.

"Stuff." Kagami plopped down by the tree just outside Mito's safety seal. (It was fondly called the Anti-Uchiha Barrier.) Tenzou the cat hissed at him, but then made himself comfortable in Mariko's lap, quickly progressing to a content purr. Mariko picked a burr out of his coat.

"Stuff?" she asked.

"Stuff." Kagami glared at the ground, lacing his fingers together and pressing his face behind them, as if deeply concentrating. (It was an expression that would be seen many years later on an Uchiha Sasuke's face. Kagami seemed to pass down strange Uchiha traditions, including a battle cry inherited by Obito…) The young Uchiha wiggled his toes, studying the digits and also the soles of his standard shinobi shoes. The straps were wearing down, one of the buckles nearly broken, and one of the button clasps hardly able to close up the shoe. Maybe it was time for a trip to the supply shop…though Kagami had no intentions of visiting that mall again.

Mariko, on the other hand, sat patiently, waiting for the boy to speak. Unbeknownst to Tobirama, or any other Senju, she'd promised Izuna to take care of Kagami. Perhaps it was because Izuna had grown fond of young Kagami, seeing—ironically—that no one ever cared for him or looked after him. His parents were stiff and power-oriented, with little care for Kagami or his siblings.

"Little things," Kagami sighed, finally. "Little things make me angry."

"That's normal," Mariko replied neutrally. She waited.

Kagami glanced at the blunette, who was petting the stray cat's ears.

"Do you remember when," Kagami suddenly brought up, "I beat Hyuuga Aki during the chuunin exams?"

"Of course." Mariko remembered. Kagami had been sorely beat down by the Hyuuga, and his father had been so disappointed that he left the arena. However, despite his father's dramatic exit, the clan leader and Izuna stubbornly stayed, despite the latter's lack of sight. He wished to "see" Kagami succeed, so Madara watched for him (though it seemed as if Izuna himself could see all, even without eyes). Madara himself was actually rather impressed with the young boy, especially when Kagami summoned a great fire-laden hawk which seared his opponent with flaming wings.

During that fight, Kagami's Sharingan had developed its second tomoe, and he learned to cast genjutsu.

Before the match, Izuna had walked all the way down to the genin stands, and had drawn Kagami aside. The younger Uchiha was stoically staring at the ongoing matches, but the moment Izuna laid his hand on his shoulder, it was obvious that he was nothing but calm and collected.

Kagami shook harder than a sopping cat, so much so that Izuna felt as if letting go of the boy would send him into a fish flopping out of water frenzy.

"You are afraid," Izuna said simply.

"I am not."

"Don't be afraid to admit your fear," Izuna told him gently. "Fear is not evil."

Kagami was silent.

"Fear not, you and I have both seen this," Izuna continued softly. Kagami lacked the energy to point out that Izuna was blind, but then again, the younger brother of the clan leader often meant things in a metaphorical way.

"Fear not," he repeated quietly. He tapped his head, and then Kagami watched as Izuna tapped his chest. "It's all in here."

Kagami won.

"And then, do you remember when Izuna-sama congratulated me?" Kagami continued.

"Yes."

"And then what happened?"

Mariko was silent. She had not known what happened after the match, sitting up in the standards with the Senju.

"He thanked me for showing him that the Uchiha had at least one more strong generation," Kagami murmured. Mariko frowned, now, putting pieces together. Shortly after the grand first ever of the chuunin exams in Konoha, a small party had challenged the Uchiha and solely the Uchiha clan. They were quite the formidable enemies, a clan based in Iwa with a secret technique that utilized clay and earth to create intense explosives, as well as other earth-manipulating jutsu. This clan eventually faded away, until its special techniques were stowed away as kinjutsu, forbidden to all shinobi.

However, it was in this clan war that Uchiha Izuna died.

"The night before he left, he left me a map to the Uchiha clan's secret shrine." Until later years, the Naka Shrine holding Uchiha secrets only readable by increasing levels of eye power, the progressing Sharingan, the shrine was kept a secret from most clan members besides the higher-ups.

"I didn't think much of it," Kagami continued, almost muttering to himself. "But I felt proud to be included."

"But…he had an ulterior motive?" Mariko suggested.

"He wanted to show everyone the shrine."

"And?" As far as Mariko knew, secrets within clans were closely guarded, and within the Uchiha, the secrets would definitely be kept safe.

"I couldn't read them."

"Kagami, you only have two tomoe on your Sharingan," Mariko reasoned. She was becoming puzzled as to why the boy was panicking about such a simple notion. He simply had to develop his Sharingan as he grew, and eventually, all would be revealed

"No. I only read one thing."

"One thing? Don't tell me, Kagami, if it's a clan secret." Mariko glanced around. She hoped that Kagami wasn't about to blurt something that would leave the Uchiha in a rage, mostly directed at the Senju.

"No, I think it's okay." Kagami took a breath. "It said, _beyond the Sharingan lays what your brother possesses_, _and what you must learn to understand_."

As far as Kagami knew, that made no sense. Mariko, with little notion of the meaning, had barely a clue to the true definition of such a mysterious phrase. The two sat in silence. After a while, both supposed that perhaps it had something to do with Izuna. In Izuna's case, Madara had the greatest Sharingan possible, but to become more powerful, perhaps he needed what Izuna had—more patience, more kindness, and less of a black heart. Did it mean that power was driving Madara mad, and that he couldn't achieve more without a heart?

In a way, it fit.

* * *

Later that night, Mariko would tell Tobirama a little of what she heard before she fell asleep. Tobirama, finding this rather intriguing, remembered it. The next day, he told Mito. Mito, also intrigued, kept a mental note to ask Hashirama if he knew anything about the secrets of the Uchiha, seeing as he was the clan head of the family destined to hate them.

Upon hearing Kagami's little reading, Hashirama only frowned and shook his head.

In truth, he was frowning to himself, because he knew exactly what the words meant. True, they could fit Madara's power-obsession, the type of egocentrism and power craze that would lead to one's ruin, but it also meant something else. Should he ever obtain what the "brother's possession", he would learn of the greatest power, and also achieve the greatest eyes. However, the Senju themselves had their own secrets. Theirs was a life force unparalleled in the ninja world; without this life force, the perfect eyes would not be achieved. While the Uchiha had their shrines, the Senju held their own secrets in the life force of the old oak in the middle of the complex. It was beyond old, and Hashirama knew how to read its history:

With the older brother's hate and fury, he would never achieve power. That is why the descendents of the younger brother, the man whose willful emotions of love and family and life drove his power higher, ruled superior—

* * *

The Sage of the Six Paths had deemed it so himself.

* * *

"Hey, Kagami," Toka said, in a softer voice, after yelling at Hiruzen for interrupting her training schedule randomly. "Sorry about yesterday, I was too harsh."

Kagami refrained from saying that she was _always_ too harsh, and nodded: apology accepted. Toka ruffled his hair fondly then, and Kagami smiled. She was like the older sister he'd never had, and he was attached to her as well, despite the Uchiha hate for the Senju. Izuna had never despised the Senju as much as Madara; was that the missing key? Love?

"Now, I want you all to show me that if I make three clones, you'll be able to deal with them efficiently in an effective pattern. Think about the type of strategy you want to use—one on one, or take out the clones before focusing on the real one?" Toka went on to explain how to discern the real one through actions and reactions, where they move, if they avoid attacks, etc.

"And if we take out the real one first?" Danzo said flatly.

"Well, Danzo, you're just jumping ahead now," Toka replied. "Of course, in most cases, by taking down the original, the clones disperse."

"Then we'll do that," Torifu said, "since I can cover with my large attacks, and Kagami can…spit fireballs."

"I can take them _all _ out with my fireballs," Kagami sniggered.

"And if they're all Suiton users?" presented Toka.

"I'll take them out anyway," Kagami declared. The group chuckled, before beginning their practices. All was fine and good, a regular training routine for a maybe not-so-regular group of chuunin, still young enough to be under the supervision of a jounin, but preparing to set off on their own.

No one expected, with Hashirama toiling away at the papers in his office, the Kyuubi to suddenly appear in the middle of town after one Uchiha Madara broke into the Senju home. He surely received a few nearly fatal blows from Mito, but it was his intentions that sent the usually peace-promoting, calm, collected Hashirama into a rage.

The Kyuubi destroyed a good portion of the village before Hashirama chased it out of Konoha. From there, Tobirama had teleported to the border of Konoha—each one had one of his early development time-space seals—and summoned the group there. He tried to help, but his older brother shoved him away brashly, telling him to keep out of it.

However, before the Kyuubi was swept away from Konoha, all the young shinobi set out to take it down, without a care for their lives because they loved their village so. The older ones tried to push them back, but none of them listened. It was after a swipe of the Nine Tails' claw that triggered the third and last tomoe of Kagami's Sharingan. He hollered and screamed, a battle cry that rose among all the others, and returned with a vengeance to take down the monster.

By sunrise, the entire village had heard that the fight was over, and that Uchiha Madara had been the cause. By sunrise, Team Tobirama, Team Toka, as well as a massive number of other shinobi arrived at the border of Konoha to see a young waterfall trickling its way down a canyon, enormous boulders pummeled from the rock face to the ground. When the sun rose high enough so that a sliver of sky was seen between its round edge and the horizon, the medics found Hashirama at the foot of the new waterfall, armor nearly crushed, but otherwise safe. In his arms, he held Mito, who slept peacefully in his arms, power spent after sealing the entire beast within herself.

Finally, they found remnants of Uchiha Madara beneath the rubble. They found a hand, and a foot, and a crushed body. Uchiha Madara was dead.

Kagami attended the former clan head's funeral, and also attended the ceremony in which his own father became clan head.

A shadow passed the window of the building where the ceremony was taking place, and Kagami thought he saw the sliver of a face smiling at him. From then on, whenever a mysterious event occurred, and the little kids began to say it was Old Man Madara come to haunt the Uchiha, Kagami seriously believed that they had a valid point.

He wouldn't be surprised if the old clan head showed up at his doorstep one day, as if to ask Kagami's father for his position back.

* * *

Madara had been disliked for a time, now. He'd been deemed an outcast for a time now, despite his living in the clan and the respects still paid to him. However, just before the incident, he'd claimed to go on a "trip". Right after Izuna's death.

The night before Izuna died, Izuna had told his brother:

"If you ever find _it_, nii-san, be sure to pass it on."

"What do you mean, Izuna?" Madara had said, slightly puzzled.

"By the time you find it, Madara," Izuna paused, using his brother's name rather than an affectionate calling of older brother, "you will be old and frail and nearing death. Should the Sage of the Six Paths choose to cut the cords between you and your clinging life, you would be gone in an instant."

"How do you know, Izuna? I could find it tomorrow, next week, next month!" Madara told his brother jovially, shoving his sibling's shoulder lightly.

"Madara. You know I'm right. The power you're searching for will take a lifetime. No, it will take more than two."

"I know, Izuna, but it doesn't mean I'll stop. You know I'd live past that."

"That's why you should pass it on," Izuna reasoned. He brushed the hair out of his face, despite having no eyes to obstruct the view with. He imagined his brother then, so clearly it was as if he was seeing him without eyes through the bandages wrapped around his head. A dubious expression, left eye visible, while the other remained hidden under his wild black mane of hair, glinting with a sort of malice, a sort of exasperation, and a sort of dismay. Izuna saw it all, because Madara only showed this face to his little brother.

"And who would I pass it on to?" Madara asked, sighing now. His quest for ultimate power... "I don't have a son, and I doubt I ever will."

There had been a point in time when Madara had confessed to his younger brother that perhaps someday, he should have a son, or even a daughter, that he could raise to become a fine shinobi or kunoichi, to represent the Uchiha name and power. The pass it on to. Madara realized that Izuna was right, then, but he lacked the solution to the problem.

"Then you wait. I will help you." Izuna sighed. If he strained any further, he was sure he'd lose it. He would help his brother, though, because he saw far enough to know that it was possible.

"Help me find a wife?" joked Madara, huffing.

"No, a son."

"You're being ridiculous now, Izuna."

"Oh, I am _so_ ridiculous," Izuna deadpanned. His voice was so monotone, it sounded ludicrous with the sarcastic comment. Madara chuckled.

"You are, my foolish little brother," Madara muttered fondly, tousling his brother's hair. "If, somehow, when I'm an old hermit clinging to life, you bring me a child to pass on my great power—I'll find it, then—then I shall honor you."

"Yes, but by that time, I'll be long dead. Who's the foolish brother now?" Izuna smiled, and so did Madara, despite scolding his brother for talking so casually about death. They lived in a ninja world filled with blood and despair and death, but it was as if speaking the word sealed the deal; one was to speak of life and prosperity.

"Well, Izuna. Make me a deal, then."

"There's no deal, Madara. I've done a lot for you that I'll never get back."

At this, Madara almost felt a twinge of guilt, a heart string so faint, that the fibers of it shivered at the words, but pulled no effects. Madara had long since slashed apart these strings. He'd missed the deepest one, however, because some of his feelings were still not killed.

"No matter. Nii-san, I can see that you will pass it on," Izuna continued.

"I'm sure a boy or something will just _fall _from the sky, and let the circumstances permit that he be willing for me to teach him," Madara laughed.

Oh, if he knew. Izuna certainly did.

* * *

Many, many years later, after more than two lifetimes—a time when Hashirama's granddaughter was a skilled kunoichi, an adult fighting in the war, and when Tobirama's granddaughter was a young girl learning the ways of the ninja world—Madara wondered how he could honor his brother for his rather surprisingly accurate determination of the future.

After all, a boy _had _just fallen from the sky.

* * *

Tenzou the cat bristled when Hashirama returned with Mito in his arms. He sensed the monster fox dwelling inside of her, its evil and its hate emanating from its core and irritating Tenzou's animal senses. Mariko held the cat to her chest, tickling its chin and petting its ears in an attempt to calm it down. The cat only continued growling.

Mariko recalled the end of a poem about evil:

_It is dead for now._

_ Dead for now._

_ For now._

_ Now._

Now, what had died that night?

* * *

Uchiha Madara pushed the rocks out from over his head, ignoring his broken bones and crushed history. They mattered very little, now.

He had obtained _it_.

* * *

Kagami wasn't sure, but the night of the Uchiha massacre, the night he died, he heard a whispering at his ear. He feared he was delusional, already past crazy, a poor, psychotic Uchiha while Hiruzen remained a sane, sensible leader. Perhaps he should complain to the Hokage, his old friend, for special care. Koharu would look at him funny, but nowadays, she always squinted like that.

The whispering returned.

"Fear not. You and I both have seen this."

In front of him, Izuna smiled.

A shadow passed—it strode towards him with a deadly murderous aura, a confidence held only on the shoulders of an Uchiha who sought one goal—Uchiha Madara, yet not.

"Fear not," the voice whispered again.

Izuna put a hand on Kagami's shoulder.

* * *

A wooden board creaked, and the shadow moved in.

* * *

Kagami's vision went black.

* * *

Death.

Anyway. That became rather...dark.

**Note: **So called "poem" is inspired by Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko, which we had to read in class =u=''

In anycase, foreshadowing! And it's raaaainin' boys! Hallelujaaahh it's raining...uhhh I'll stop now.

:D

Anyway, you guys reviewing make my day!

(Someone suggested something -hugs- and I thought it was great! I'm totally open to suggestions if they're super interesting...)

lol I won't do something like "Hashirama grows a tree, and it sprouts bread".

Oh wait, that actually seems interesting.

I meant "Minato shows Jiraiya the Rasengan! Oh wait, this has nothing to do with old Konoha!"

lol. What happened here...


	23. Grand Entrances

Madara stalks Mito.

More like, he fails to understand that the definition of stalking includes being somewhat inconspicuous...right?

By request.

* * *

_**ANNOUNCEMENT: **_

_Hey guys, I'm starting a new story...still sort of silly most of the time, but based off of Obito growing up with Madara!_

_(In Naruto's messed up timeline, where somehow, in about a year plus some, his voice goes from a 12-year old's to a man's...etc.)_

_Check it out if you'd like!_

_...when I put it up, that is. :D_

* * *

**Note: **I'm sorry if it's not as good as you would've liked, but I got a little lost on the way and improvised. Hope it's okay. -sweat drop-

**Disclaimer:** Naruto's not mine. If it was mine, Orochimaru and the messed up Naruto timeline would've saved Rin somehow. That, and I would've revealed the reason for Kirigakure's need of Rin already...=3=

BUT I _do_ love Tobi's "Frill-necked Lizard no jutsu!" because in the wordless of chapter "Uchiha Obito" (lol forgot the number) there's a flashback of Obito hanging from a tree the same way.

Random note: I also love voice actor crossovers. Tooooo much.

(Like how in Fairy Tail, Bacchus is Adult Lambo (KHR)/Aoba (Naruto), and Sting Eucliffe is Yuu Kanda (DGM)/Claude Faustus (Kuroshitsuji)/Sasori (Naruto) . . . -laughs-

* * *

**Chapter 23: ****Grand Entrances**

It was only a feeling, but ever since someone sneezed during the Academy's special assembly, Mariko had a vague feeling that she was being watched. No, Mariko herself was not being watched, but she definitely sensed a strange presence, and it was following none other than…

Mito.

* * *

Said redhead went on with her life, a life as normal as the life of the Hokage's wife could get. She had just presented a small, interesting display of medical ninjutsu to the Academy's young, growing shinobi, in hopes of inspiring a new medical force for Konoha's future. It had been by Tobirama's suggestion, actually, which surprised everyone. After Hashirama had approved, Mito was sent to prepare something the kids would find interesting.

"Ruuunnnnn!" someone suddenly hollered. Despite his warning, his voice was ridiculously high-pitched, and so no one took him seriously. Inuzuka Shiro was closely followed by a hoard of insects. Several villagers cringed and retreated into their homes and shops, while the shinobi assumed that the poor dog boy had provoked a poor Aburame, and was facing the consequences of poking fun at a bug boy.

No, the Aburame was actually _not _chasing Shiro.

The Aburame was _running with _Shiro.

This was soon explained, when the Aburame boy appeared with a rather horrified expression on his barely visible face, following Shiro as a magnificent fireball rolled their way.

Why…is a fireball rolling through the village?

This…this was obviously dangerous, yet all of the shinobi stood there and stared at the fire—it was like a tumbleweed, except in a video game; slow motion rolling—with Generic Face of Shock #5.

A shadow appeared over them, and someone spat out a Suiton jutsu rather effortlessly. Tobirama landed lightly on his toes, ready to apprehend the source of the menacingly slow fireball threatening the young genin of Konoha.

"Tobiramaaa!" wailed Mariko, having been abandoned on the top of a water tower. How she got there, Mito had no idea. Tobirama waved her off for the moment and advanced down the road, looking absolutely ridiculous because nothing was there. It was rather impressive when Tobirama chose to be serious, but he often chose the wrong occasions to do so. In any case, however, Tobirama was definitely on guard now.

Meanwhile, Mariko had ventured down from the water tower, and was now skipping along rooftops. Mito sighed. She wondered what the Senju reputation looked like with these two around—Tobirama, who was unbearably foolish at times, but all of a sudden as professional as Hashirama, and Mariko, who was everything except a weatherworn, serious, mature adult. Okay, she wasn't exactly immature, but her demeanor, plus her small figure and cute face, made her look like the most adorable little girl.

"Madara!" exclaimed Tobirama, apprehending the culprit. Madara held his hands up.

"Why, if it isn't Tobirama!" the Uchiha said far too cheerfully.

"Madara, what…what was that?" asked Tobirama, rather confused. And if Tobirama was confused in his serious mode, then…well, things were definitely puzzling.

"What was what?" Madara returned rather casually.

"The fireball," Tobirama said flatly.

"Oh, that. That wasn't me."

"It wasn't?"

"Nope."

"Then who was it?"

Madara stepped aside, revealing Hiruzen, who swore to himself and fled the scene. How he managed to hide behind Madara, despite being a rather gangly boy of almost 12 years, they would never know. And why he chose Madara—also, the fact that Madara let him was strange enough…—was another unanswerable question.

Well, given that Hiruzen was a Sarutobi, a clan whose fire-spitting prowess almost rivaled that of the fan-wielding Uchiha, then it sort of made sense. Except for the fact that Tobirama lacked the memory as to when Hiruzen had learned such a thing, especially for a genin.

"Tobirama!" snapped Mariko, pouncing on him. He made something that sounded like "gah!" and "oof!" and "bleh!" all at once, as the small woman leapt up (quite far, seeing as Tobirama was a tall guy) to wrap her arms around his neck, effectively strangling him.

"Mariko—can't—breathe," he choked, hands clutching at her smaller ones. In the moments between Tobirama clawing at her hands, and then removing them from their death-grip around his neck, Mariko glanced at Madara. Madara's eyebrows only wiggled enigmatically, before he grandly turned on his heel and swept away in a fashion meant for an evil villain donned in a badass cape, but he lacked the cape, so his efforts were futile.

"You!" Mariko exclaimed, shoving Tobirama with her shoulder. "Left! Me! On! The! Water tower!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm—oof!" Mariko socked him in the gut. Given that she was small and nowhere as monstrously strong as Mito, it shouldn't have hurt much, but wives tend to be powerful when they need to be, so Tobirama doubled over. She had also threatened to hit a spot that would hurt….a lot.

"I don't want to know what you're doing, but Tobirama, you're needed at the Hokage Tower." Toka appeared, then, and she motioned for Mito to follow as well. Tobirama ended up giving Mariko a piggyback ride—during which she told him to stop touching her ass—all the way to Hashirama's office.

"Don't be silly, I did no such thing," was Tobirama's consistent answer.

* * *

There it was again. A shadow passed, and Mariko _swore _she saw someone there. And she knew exactly who it was. It seemed that Tenzou knew, too, because he hissed.

And later, there it was again, at the restaurant.

And again, at the market.

And _again_, at the hot springs.

The hot springs?

"Mito," Mariko said, rather worried.

"Yes?"

"Someone's….following you."

"Following me?" Mito glanced around, dipping her fingers in the comfortably warm water, watching her reflection swirl and distort. "Are you sure he's not following _you_?"

"I'm sure."

* * *

Mito began feeling the hairs on the back of her neck prickle, especially after Mariko's quite random statement. It was only when she reached the grocery store that she felt the familiar glare of a red eye. She whipped around.

"Madara. Have you been stalking me?"

No answer.

"Madara!"

No answer again.

Well, it wasn't that Madara didn't answer, but Mito's face just then was so terrifying, that he had chosen to retreat into the shadows…

* * *

"Where's Madara-sama?" Kagami asked. Izuna shrugged, and Kagami sighed. His little cousin, a girl of about 5 years, had baked the clan leader some cookies. She really, _really_ wanted to give them to the clan leader, but was too afraid to ask. So, knowing that her big cousin Kagami was on good terms with Madara, she asked him to help.

And Madara was now missing.

Just kidding, the clan leader stumbled into the room, nearly knocking Kagami and his little cousin over. The little girl's eyes went wide, and she quivered with terror.

"Ah, Madara-sama, my cousin made cookies for you!"

Madara, who had been about to grab a set of kunai and then run out again, paused in surprise.

"Oh. Thanks, little one." He knelt down so that he was eye level with the little girl, and smiled. It was actually a rather warm smile, not one of those menacingly creepy ones. The little girl beamed up at the clan leader and offered her little box, wrapped up all prettily just for him.

"For Madada-sama," she exclaimed happily, her child's tongue unable to say Madara's name, though it seemed like a rather easy name. Madara tousled the girl's hair gently, and accepted the cookies.

"Kagami, you and your cousin feel free to take anything you want. Eat dinner, or something," Madara said, waving nonchalantly. "I have to go out again."

He left.

Kagami stared at the door to the kitchen, then at the door through which Madara had exited, then at Kagami, who was solving a Sudoku puzzle without even looking.

_How is he doing that?_ Kagami vaguely wondered.

_I read the ink with my chakra_, Izuna mentally answered. Then, he said:

"Nii-san has always been fond of the little ones. He actually enjoys taking care of them," Izuna said, reminiscing. "I remembered when he wanted a little sister. I was quite offended, you know."

Kagami smiled, though it was sort of a forced smile. He glanced at his cousin, who was exploring the living room now.

"Well. By _fond of the little ones_, I mean that he doesn't mind them. He likes it when the kids aren't afraid of him. Though, if he were to take care of a kid, I think he'd seriously go mad." Then to himself, "Not that he isn't sort of crazy already."

Kagami sweat-dropped; that was an understatement.

* * *

And so, Madara, for the span of a few weeks, kept tailing a certain redhead. And little by little, Mito began to notice. She was surprised that her kunoichi senses hadn't alerted her of the fact that the crazy Uchiha and his alien pheromones (or whatever it was that he gave off) was stalking her.

Madara happened to choose the grocery shop as his next hiding spot, which was perfect, because he knew Mito planned to drop by later to buy something for her now famous Senju hotpot. He put on a hat, glasses, and didn't even bother using a Henge to disguise himself. Let's just say that this week didn't go too well for Madara.

* * *

Mito reached the fruits and vegetables quarter of the grocery store. She picked up a mighty fine apple when a sniggering teen wearing very large, very square glasses, a plaid shirt, and tight jeans, accompanied by a baseball cap that covered his face, walked by. More like he sauntered by with what he thought was impressive swag.

No.

Uchiha Swag.

Mito frowned, put the apple back down, and paused. The teen pretended to browse the pears, but what teenager browses pears, let alone buys stuff at a grocery store unless it's cupcakes after a sports game? Anyway.

"Excuse me," Mito said, pretending to brush by the kid. The kid shuffled sideways and grinned creepily at her. There was no way Mito wouldn't recognize that grin, and as soon as the slightly crooked nose appeared, she knew for sure. She herself had broken that nose.

She socked the kid in the face, and he flew all the way to the cash registers.

"You look _horrendous _in that!" Mito hollered angrily, as the cap flew off Madara's head and he knocked over a poor boy who was trying to work as a cash register clerk, but always ran into trouble.

(Inwardly, the boy thought, _Why is it that wherever I go, this guy and whoever's with him mess up the store?! _The poor thing had just switched jobs from the weapons department at the mall…Not just because Kagami and co. had ruined it and gotten him fired, but also because a huge-ass centipede decided to make itself at home on top of his price scanner laser thingy.)

"Forever young," Madara called feebly, leaning back on the mini conveyor belt that brought soon-to-be purchased items to their doom.

"Forever _old_, in your case," Mito deadpanned. "I'm not sure you want to break that nose again."

"I don't," Madara replied.

* * *

So, Madara, being the Uchiha idiot that he was, continued to stalk Mito. He chose to interrupt Mito's "once-a-month-I-treat-myself-to-cake" day, right smack in the middle of the market. Mito was picking out a tasty, decorated pastry when someone accidentally bumped into her, and there was a terrifyingly loud

_SPLAT_.

It seemed more like Madara was trying to get himself killed, rather than stalk the Uzumaki. Whatever the reason, he was smart enough to duck and cover his nose. However, he didn't duck fast enough, because an enraged redhead spun around and punched him. Her infamous temper, equal to that of the future "Bloody Red Habanero, wife of the Fourth Hokage", had shown. Let it be known that Tsunade inherited her super strength from a certain woman…

* * *

The glass windows shattered upon impact, and a body flew through. Hashirama ducked just in time to miss having his head taken off by a flying Madara, who crashed into his office and rolled onto the ground, effectively taking all the papers on the table with him.

"Madara!" exclaimed Hashirama. A pause. "Madara?"

The Uchiha lay still on the ground, and Hashirama suddenly wondered if he was dead. That would've been the end to many of his troubles, but yet the beginning of a much larger one, if the Uchiha actually still followed their supposed clan head.

"Madara?" repeated the First Hokage, glancing warily at the figure still crumpled up in front of him. Madara began to moan, and Hashirama breathed a sigh of relief. The Uchiha clutched his face, which had probably been broken, plus the nose again, and shook his head. The village below them clamored at the action, people watching in shock as Mito's fist literally smoked from the shot.

Among the many voices, one closer to the Hokage Tower shouted:

"It's a new record!"

Obviously Tobirama.

Hashirama shook his head and sighed, offering Madara a hand. The Uchiha viciously glared at the Senju and hastily got up himself, though he teetered around the room until Hashirama set a firm hand on his shoulder. Madara brushed him away, hissing something that vaguely sounded like "I don't need your help" except muffled, but nearly collapsed again.

"You see, Madara, these things wouldn't happen if you didn't stalk my wife."

* * *

**Specials included:**

Perverted Tobirama. (yes -nods-)

Kagami's nameless baby cousin (she must be adorable...)

Crazy Madara.

Hipster!Madara (courtesy of BaronBamboozle on deviantART and tumblr)

Mysterious Hiruzen.

I pity the First. OTL.


	24. Hokage's Predicament - Part 1

What is this. Tell me if I'm confusing, please.

Also, tell me if there's too many non-canon old Konoha people in here. I just threw them in so that more clans were represented.

(I mean, my headcanon is that Shiro is Kiba's grandpa. -laughs- Kuromaru lacks a relation to Akamaru, though...)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because Obito is not working at Mt. Doom, and because I have no idea whether Konoha made a pact with Iwa or not during this time. (laughs)

* * *

**Chapter 24: ****Hokage's Predicament - Mist's Madmen, Mold, and Mariko's Children **

**_~Part 1~_**

There were certain things that the Hokage should take lightly, and certain things he should not. The fact that the Uchiha complex was on fire should've alarmed the public, seeing as the blaze could be seen all the way from the center market, but Tobirama was not at all concerned for the well-being of that clan in particular. However, upon hearing that his two-year-old daughter had scraped her knee at the park, he was up and out of the office faster than the Flying Thunder God himself.

Well, the Uchiha could deal with their own problems, right?

The lucky duck who happened to be babysitting the baby girl that day just _had _to be the monkey. Actually, Tobirama wondered, why anyone would entrust the Second Hokage's daughter to the monkey was beyond him. There were certain things that the Hokage should question, and certain things he should not. This was something he would definitely question his wife about. On the other hand, he would not delve into why the Uchiha suddenly lit on fire. That was their own problem (some kid had probably been practicing a Katon, is all…)

Tobirama's little girl was safe and sound, just a little teary-eyed at the scrape on her knee after she fell off the end of the slide. ("That's why you're supposed to _catch her_, Saru…")

The white-haired Senju suddenly wondered where in the world his wife had gone, and under what circumstances had needed Hiruzen of all people to babysit the little girl. And where was his son? Tobirama was sure that a blue-haired four-year-old roaming the streets of Konoha was sure to be cause of alarm, seeing as no one besides the Second Hokage's wife had hair like that. That, and the boy was the spitting image of Tobirama himself, if he was only four and had dyed his hair with bright blue paint.

"I don't know," Hiruzen said, upon intense interrogation by his former sensei. "I was just asked to babysit her."

"And Mariko?"

"No idea."

Tobirama asked about his son, but at that question, Hiruzen only shook his head helplessly. Unable to find anymore leads, and with a complaint about how the Uchiha now had a _mold _problem, of all things, Tobirama headed back to his office on the request of his frenzied secretary (who had sprinted out of the building in search of their Hokage).

* * *

So, the Uchiha fire had obviously been put out, but somehow, they now had fungus growing from the floorboards of their basements. Only now did Tobirama seriously wonder what was going on. Within the hour, the Hyuuga came in with a complain that they _too _had mold in their basements. Tobirama set off as Sherlock in this mystery, a complaining Toka as his Watson.

Meanwhile, a blue-haired four-year-old was spotted in the center market, riding on the shoulders of Inuzuka Shiro. Why any sane person would leave the Second Hokage's son to the lively, albeit crazy dog boy was a mystery to all persons involved. In addition, Shiro's trusty best friend, a dark, smoky gray and black dog named Kuromaru, ironically, padded alongside his partner. At times, Shiro would allow the blue boy to ride on Kuromaru's back, like a boy on an miniature horse.

"Hey, Shiro, have you seen Aki?" Biwako called, seeing her teammate strolling down the road. The mention of the haughty Hyuuga extracted a rather dark look onto Shiro's face. He shook his head.

"I heard they have a mold problem," Shiro replied.

"We do." Said Hyuuga appeared behind the Inuzuka, eyeing the blue boy on his shoulders suspiciously. He wanted to ask why in the world Tobirama's boy was with Shiro, but refrained, because he feared the answer to the question.

"We do too!" came another voice, a very familiar Uchiha one. Kagami sauntered up to them, exchanging fist bumps with Shiro. "There's even mushrooms down there."

"That's just gross," Biwako said, wrinkling her nose.

"Hold on a sec, I might have some on me still." Kagami feigned wiping his hands all over Biwako, going as far as to grab her ponytail. The long-haired girl shrieked with laughter and shoved the Uchiha away.

"Hey, I heard about your mold problem!" Hiruzen yelled, jogging down the street. He really should've have started running, because the two-year-old bouncing his in arms began to wail. She tried babbling a few of the words she knew best, and one sounded like "Mama!" which made the entire group cringe as the shopkeepers glared accusingly at them.

"Daddy goes fishing," said the blue boy. None of them knew what this meant. It was super adorable, though.

"Don't yell around kids," Biwako scolded. Hiruzen shut his mouth.

"Mommy doesn't like fish," continued the blue boy. Again, what relevance this had to the current situation, they had no idea, but it sure was cute. Kagami bent down and ruffled the boy's hair fondly.

"This hair is crazy blue," he muttered.

"Bluebells in jingle bells make cows fly over the moon," the blue boy responded. The entire group held back stifled laughter at the level of cuteness the boy emitted. They weren't sure if he was confused, stringing random words together, or just mixing the things he heard around him in a sentence. (He probably heard "blue", and then thought "jingle bells", and mixed the two, and then for some reason pulled up the memory of his mother reciting a poem to him…)

If anyone was to go googly eyed over an adorable little boy, the last person they expected to see was Koharu. She had suddenly approached them, and was now talking nonsense to the four-year-old, who actually comprehended much more than they expected. He also could respond much more intelligently than they knew, but he just didn't show it (though the bluebell jingle bells thing was actually something he wanted to say).

"Have you heard? The Hyuuga and the Uchiha are facing a mold crisis," Koharu announced, after petting Kuromaru on the head. The dog whined happily and slapped his tail on the ground, promptly sitting down and nodding his head excitedly.

"No kidding," Kagami deadpanned.

"It's a mystery!" said Hiruzen, as excited as the dog.

"Miss miss!" giggled the little girl. The group cooed at how adorable she was.

"Anyway, why are you guys taking care of the kids?" Koharu asked, eyes narrowing.

"I was told to," Hiruzen and Shiro said both at the same time.

"Stars! Oh stars!" came a voice. The group of teens turned to see a white-headed boy parading down the street, dragging along two of his friends. One was the First Hokage's granddaughter, and the other was a rather dejected looking boy with the longest black hair any of them had ever laid eyes on.

"We're tired of your singing, Jiraiya," the blonde girl piped up.

"Please stop," said the other boy.

"Benny and the Jets!" continued Jiraiya. The group of teenagers cringed and also wished the little boy would shut up. His voice was incredibly grating on the ears. "—in the sky, with diamonds!"

"Jiraiya!" snapped Tsunade.

"Drove my Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry," Jiraiya sang on. "And good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye, singin' this'll be the day that I—"

Besides the fact that Jiraiya strung songs together just as adeptly as the blue boy made up random sentences, and the fact that when he stuck to one song, he didn't even sing the lyrics in order, the group discovered that Uzumaki Mito's insane strength had indeed been passed down into the Senju bloodline, because little Tsunade, not even ten years old, had socked Jiraiya in the face hard enough to send him flying down three blocks.

"Snowball flies!" laughed the blue boy. Hiruzen sniggered.

Tsunade and Orochimaru promptly left Jiraiya twitching in the dust.

* * *

While the group of teenagers found that both of the Hokage's children _really_ like dango—despite not knowing whether giving dango to a two-year-old was safe, seeing as she could've choked on just about anything bigger than "baby-bite-sized"—the Hokage himself was busy making personal visits to the raging mold sites.

"I'm serious, here," said Kagami's father, glaring. "The source is a form of ninjutsu."

The most recent clan head shot the Hyuuga a condescending look, while the Hyuuga proudly ignored it and asked Tobirama his opinion. The Hyuuga honestly didn't care if the Uchiha hated him; he dealt with things fairly and reasonably. When his son Aki had been defeated by Kagami—after Kagami struggled long and hard in the beginning, nearly falling to Aki's 64 Trigram Palms—the Hyuuga head congratulated the young Uchiha and acknowledged his hard work and effort.

That was back when Kagami's father wasn't clan head, though.

"Well, it definitely looks like it was planted here," Tobirama commented, pointing out the older mushrooms in the corner. The fact that there were mini-mushrooms atop mold atop mushrooms was already gross enough, but the bushy bulge of ridiculously fast-growing fungus in the corner was insane. Toka, who had called Tobirama to the scene, even cringed at the mass of…disgusting overgrowth of fungi. Tobirama continued, "It also looks like its feeding on moisture and…_chakra_."

Now everybody blanched, sickened by the repulsive mold. Was mold even supposed to grow on mushrooms? And how in the world did mushrooms grow on mold? None of them thought it was possible, yet here it was.

Toka swore she heard Tobirama mutter "crazy Kiri nin" under his breath, but couldn't really make it out clearly. She pretended like she didn't hear it—in any other case, she would've socked him and sent him flying into the mold—and announced that they should take a look at the Hyuuga party's case.

So up the stairs the group went, careful to avoid any overgrowth of the mucky green stuff.

* * *

"Go to sleep, go to sleep," Hiruzen sang badly. At this point, Team Tobirama, Team Toka, and Biwako's team were all gathered just outside of town, by the playground, in a joint attempt to take care of the Second's children. Somehow.

The little girl ended up just crying, because Hiruzen's singing was so atrocious. Danzo clicked his tongue, and unexpectedly, took the baby from Hiruzen's hands.

"You can't do it like that." Then, in a mind-blowing moment of awe, Danzo began to sing a lullaby to the sweet snow-haired baby, with the voice of an angel. The entire group went slack-jawed, gaping openly at their teammate. When the baby finally mumbled to sleep—most adorably, of course—the group continued to stare at Danzo with their jaws hanging to the ground, whilst the Shimura boy glared at all of them, told them to hush up now—though no one had said a word—and gingerly slipped the baby back into Hiruzen's arms—despite fearing that in his shock, Hiruzen would drop the baby.

"Danzo-nii-chan sing," giggled the blue boy. And then he grinned widely, and he looked so much like Tobirama that the entire group had to slap hands over one another's face to keep from laughing. (With the exception of Aki and Danzo, who were still dead serious. Perhaps they smiled on the inside.)

Dinnertime approached, and the group toted the children to the barbecue house. It was there that Hiruzen bluntly asked:

"What are babies supposed to eat?"

To which everyone yelled:

"You idiot!" and "What have you been feeding her all day?!"

And then the monkey answered:

"Uh. Dango and ramen."

He was promptly slapped on the back of the head several times by several friends.

* * *

The Hyuuga basement was just as shocking as the Uchiha, besides the fact that instead of the sickly green of the mushroom-mold combo, it hosted a red and yellow polka dot frenzy of fluffy mold. It was the kind that was usually whitish-cream on fruits left out too long, but fiery red with ugly yellow spores puffing every which way. This was definitely not possible. Though there was clearly a lack of the nature-defying mushrooms, there was a lovely, horrendously stinking supply of red weeds sticking out in all directions.

"Crazy Kiri nin," was heard once more, but Toka shook it out of her mind.

"It started in this corner," Tobirama said. "Again, planted."

The nastiest bulb was growing in the corner, looking as if an any minute, it would spit out a superbly ugly red flower that stank more than the mold and the weeds. Did mold and weeds even go together?

Probably not.

* * *

"You have to feed a baby properly!" Koharu scolded, glaring at her teammate.

"I'm sorry! Ow!" Hiruzen was hit several more times on the head. He doubted his head would be smaller than a melon by nightfall, with all the people hitting him.

"Saru, Saru, Saru!" chanted the blue boy. He was obviously delighted with the fact that his teammates were consistently hitting him up the backside of the head for his mistakes. Hiruzen thought he was cruelly similar to his father, the blue boy was.

"You know, this is why girls usually take care of the kids," Biwako stated firmly. "We're much more sensible."

"I'm surprised Hiruzen hasn't dropped her yet," Danzo said flatly. Kagami sniggered.

"Hey, I can take care of the boy!" Shiro exclaimed, in self-defense. "I'm doing pretty good! What do ya think?" The Inuzuka turned to Tobirama's son, smiling.

"Doggy boy be good and sit," was all the blue boy said. Shiro couldn't fainted from shock then, while everyone else had a great time laughing at him.

It was then that most of them wondered where in the world Mariko had gone.

* * *

Unbeknownst to both groups, Mariko had been running a few errands when she was kidnapped by…what do you know, a group of…

Crazy Kiri nin.

These Mist shinobi acted as friendly travelers, accidentally bumping into Mariko, and at the same time throwing a genjutsu over her, strengthened by the accompaniment of a drug-soaked cloth, sending the blunette into a confused daze. Totally caught off guard, she was bound and thrown into the back of a not-so-suspicious caravan. The Kiri nin then awaited the moment they could sabotage Konoha's recent success in village management. Again, unnoticed, a one of the crazy Mist jounin tailed the group of chuunin with the kids, while the other had planted the mold in the houses of dominant clans.

Now, with the Second Hokage distracted, they carried out their plans.

(Let it be known that the Second Mizukage had "nothing to do with this plan". Or so he claimed. After Tobirama's pact with Kumogakure, and then friendly relations of Iwa, the tide had turned against Kirigakure, prompting some sort of response.)

* * *

The child was sitting on the bench, staring at the centipede crawling past his toes. His blue hair was shaggy and tickled his ears, but he didn't care. Mama would have him get a haircut soon, anyway. It was only when the waiter almost dropped a cup of hot tea on him that he saw the masked man in the corner, emanating an foreign essence. The boy immediately recognized "not-Konoha" with this man, and promptly told the dog boy:

"Not Konoha!"

Of course, Shiro failed to understand, and only ruffled the boy's hair.

The Kiri nin shot the lights, and the restaurant went dark. There was a shout, a scream, and another Mist shinobi set the kitchen on fire. Both the boy and the girl were grabbed, tossed over their shoulders, and taken away.

Hiruzen leapt to his feet, and Aki's Byakugan was activated in an instant.

"Sarutobi, the kids!" he exclaimed. Hiruzen made for the door, but a noxious gas filled his nostrils and knocked him out.

The last thing he heard was the boy yelling,

"Saru!" and the little girl's screams.

_**~To be continued~**_

* * *

This has gone from funny to serious. What is this.

Besides that, a _continued story!_ No worries, it won't be as botched up as the Hurricane one, which I rushed on.

AND don't worry about the seriousness: It turns out to be funny (and ridiculous, no worries. I'll try to keep things fun.)

Also, Tobirama would generally lack worry for Mariko's whereabouts, because he's generally confident that she can handle herself in the village. There's always the threat of crazy Kiri nin (that's just a standard these days, lol) but there's no way anyone expected it.

The children remain nameless, because I can't think of anything good enough.

Also. One day, in the far future, when Naruto and co. begin singing "Ga ga ooh lalaaaaaa" and "tonighhhhhhht we are young", Jiraiya finally understands why everyone wanted him to stop singing.

Headcanon: After Madara dies ("dies", I should say), Kagami's father becomes clan head.

Naruto Shippuuden's "Chikara" arc is influencing me too much. There's a ton of little kids in there, and the smallest one is so plain adorable that I can't help but imagine her when I write Tobirama's little girl. Well, the girl in the anime sort of annoys me, so I make her even cuter here.

Also, I had to refrain from making a Tobi comment in the blue boy's dialogue, because that would SO not fit. lol.

COMMENTS - CONCERNS -love it? hate it?- BURNING DESIRES?


	25. Hokage's Predicament - Part 2

**Notes about the story: **I have no idea what happened here. At least it's more lighthearted than that one terrible dream Mariko had that one time...(you know, the one where Madara was going to kill her for watching? Obitopede was in it. lol.)

TODAY. WAS. EXTREME. FEELS. By the way, 614 spoilers. Too late? Oh well.

**Disclaimer: **Heh. I obviously don't own Naruto, because why in the world would I MAKE NEJI DIE. (oops. Sorry. Spoilers, ch. 614).

**NOOO THE NEJI FEELSSSS.**

****I am wallowing in dark Neji agony and despair right now. Despair!

ONTO THE STORY.

**Warning: **This story becomes nonsense. NONSENSE I TELL YOU.

* * *

**Chapter 25: ****Hokage's Predicament - Mist's Madmen, Mold, and Mariko's Children**

****_**~Part 2~**_

The Hokage had priorities: what to do for his village, and what to do for his family. When it came to both being threatened at once, every single shinobi in the village feared, not for themselves or for the village, but for the misfortunate beings who were now destined to agony by the hands of the Hokage himself. Just the sight of the tall, white-haired Senju sent children cowering behind their mothers, who ushered everyone inside, and made the grown men quake from their eyebrows to their toes.

Yes. Senju Tobirama, as the Second Hokage and the current leader of the strongest shinobi class, was a force to be reckoned with. His intimidating demeanor and people-melting glares at times like this sent all the top dogs diving into holes for safety.

When it came to Mariko and his children, he spared no one.

Merciless.

* * *

"Kagami, Aki!" exclaimed Koharu, coughing as the smoke began to clear. Homura, being a partial water style, had doused the fire from the restaurant's kitchen. To their surprise, everyone minus Koharu and Homura were out cold, presumably from the strangely oversweet, thick odor—a poison—wafting in the air.

"This is that stuff we ran to in Kirigakure," Homura said, recalling an older mission. It had been a joint mission with a special team, including himself, a brand-new chuunin, as the strategist, Koharu, also a new chuunin, as the commander, two other genin, and one other chuunin. They'd journeyed to the Hidden Mist, and encountered a funky mushroom growing upon a funky mold in a tropical forest. (Well, they assumed it was a tropical forest, but it was the oddest environment they'd ever seen, and they'd exited as quickly as possible. Kirigakure was full of strange things…)

"Oh yeah." They had been woozy for a while, but upon study, the other chuunin on their team, the medic of the group, had picked it apart rather quickly, creating both a sleeping drug, a poison, and an antitoxin for it. That chuunin, a picky Aburame, currently resided in the Aburame home; across the village. "Do you have any idea how we can wake them up?" Koharu shook Hiruzen by the shoulder, but he didn't stir whatsoever.

Homura considered dumping buckets of water over everyone. Then he glanced at Danzo, and narrowed his eyes.

"Danzo, I know you're awake," Homura called, pushing his glasses up his nose, looking rather acute and smart.

"Of course you would," grumbled Danzo, climbing to his feet. "Give me that bucket."

Danzo dumped cold water all over their teammates, some of which sputtered to life, while others just snorted water and continued snoring.

Hiruzen was up, and so were Aki and Kagami, while Biwako, Torifu, and Shiro remained out cold.

"Aki, use your Byakugan," Koharu commanded.

The once-stubborn but now cooperative Aki agreed, and searched the area. He used to be vain and full of contempt, but after the chuunin exams, Hiruzen had one of those deep conversations with him, and he suddenly realized that having friends wasn't quite as bad as he thought. And, he was skilled. He easily spotted the bandits heading to the North Gate of Konoha. The group sped in that direction.

* * *

"Hokage-sama, please calm down," begged the weedy boy at the front desk. He fumbled with his glasses, dropped a few papers, knocked over a vase which crashed terribly, and whimpered. (Just as a note, this boy was directly related to the poor clerk from all those stores that the Uchiha ruin…)

Tobirama ignored the boy and brushed past him.

"Hokage-sama! Please! Wait!" cried the boy, pushing his too-large spectacles up his face. The bridge of his nose was hardly sufficient for the immense lenses, and he had trouble seeing anything, let alone the Hokage.

Tobirama, however, had already shed his robes and had thrown on his armor, which he pulled from a closet. From one of his pockets, he whipped out his hitai-ate with face guards, a happuri, and donned it. As his armor clinked and the closet slammed closed, the lanky front desk boy hid behind his chair, trembling with fear. The sheer fury that the Hokage emanated was beyond scary.

* * *

Yet, who was it that saved Mariko and her children? Well…

* * *

Aki was efficiently tracking the bandits, and the five chuunin leapt through the trees, bounding nimbly from branch to branch. The great oaks shivered as the young shinobi sped past, fluttering leaves warning the forest of danger.

"They're just up ahead! Now they're—"

All of a sudden, a huge spear stabbed Aki in the shoulder, taking him down. The group screeched to a halt, hollering his name.

"Aki?" called Hiruzen. "Aki!"

The Hyuuga was lying on his side, staring at the forest floor. His Byakugan strained to see the captors of the Hokage's children, but he only glimpsed a sneering smile and then a puff of smoke. He swore to himself. He'd been chasing decoys; a trap.

"Aki!" the group was now screaming, coming to his aid.

"I made a mistake," the Hyuuga hissed through gritted teeth, angry with himself. "It was a trap. They're not the real ones."

Then he blacked out, because he'd completely forgotten about the spear driven through his right shoulder.

* * *

The moment the Hokage took a single step outside of the Hokage Tower, Toka swore she felt the ground shake. She hadn't had such a sensation since the time an uncharacteristically bloodthirsty Hashirama set out to kill Madara.

Meaning?

Tobirama was angry. _Very_ angry.

Toka immediately sped to the Hokage Tower, only to find that the streets of people crowding for afternoon market time had pushed feverishly to the sides of the road, allowing a fuming Hokage to make his way past.

"Tobirama!"

Tobirama pointedly ignored his cousin and walked faster. He was walking, because running would signify great danger, and alarm the people. Not that he wasn't alarming them already.

"Tobirama!" exclaimed Toka. "Stop!"

Now Toka was getting angry, and it wasn't her time of the month. She ordered the Hokage, right then and there, to stop where he was going or she'd slap his face silly.

Tobirama turned, then.

The look on his face nearly rivaled that of Hashirama's right before _that _incident, but the glare quickly disappeared.

"Tobirama…are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just looking for my kids."

At the mention of his children, several people scrambled for safety. His two babies were his first children, and his students his next. His wife and children were his first family, and they were part of the village, which was his entire family.

Tobirama quickly calmed himself, however, reasoning that this entire thing was just a silly mishap, and he would deal with it quickly. No need for the anger that Hashirama held that day the Valley of the End was created. No need at all.

* * *

Aki drifted in and out of consciousness, with Hiruzen consistently yelling, "Don't die on me now!" Aki smirked. He, the Hyuuga genius, would not die so easily.

* * *

Tobirama and Toka chased a fake trail.

* * *

The crazy Kiri nin got farther and farther away from Konoha. In fact, they were outside the village gates, and heading for the border. That would take them quite some time, especially to reach Fire Country's Port City, but no matter. They had the first part of their plans completed successfully.

Well, they _would_ have completed the mission that "the Second Mizukage had nothing to do with", had a messenger pigeon from a fellow genin of Tsunade's not arrived. Knowing the young blonde and her adventurous call to…adventure, Team Hiruzen set out at the speed of the Thunder God, plus some strange Jiraiya's-entrance-dancing and Orochimaru being distracted, and reached the sender of the messenger pigeon in record time. They were nearing the next town when the person of interest appeared.

"Hey guys," said the fellow genin, grinning. "I happened to see some creepy people carrying a blue-haired woman."

"And?" said the trio, intrigued. They didn't need an answer, though.

There was only one blue-haired woman with bright, sapphire hair like that in all of the Fire Country.

"Well, I thought I'd stop them." The boy grinned cheekily.

"Did you use any… _jutsu_?" asked Orochimaru.

"I did." The boy continued grinning. Jiraiya bumped fists with his friend and nodded approvingly. Tsunade began interrogating the other boy, the genin skilled enough to take missions on his own because he, too, was a genius.

"Slow down, princess." The boy held up his hands. "They're over there."

The boy pointed to a big tree, to which he'd tied the bandits. Mariko and her children were huddled safely under another tree, asleep peacefully. The bandits yelled through the tape—where the boy got the tape, none of them really knew, unless he carried it with him—on their mouths, straining at the perfectly done knots that held them to the tree's trunk.

"What? I can't hear you." The boy ripped the tape off mercilessly, and the man shouted in pain.

"You little brat! Give me your name and I'll make you _know pain_," the man hissed. His Kirigakure headband glinted in the afternoon sun, matching the fire in his eyes, and creating an overall quite menacing effect. Despite this, the boy sighed and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Hatake Sakumo. Though I don't really think I'll get the chance to fight you," said the boy, shrugging. "Seeing as I already sent a pigeon for the Hokage. He'll make _you_ know pain."

"Sakumo, Sakumo, always going overboard," Jiraiya joked.

"Not really," the White Fang answered, grinning again. "Though I may have made too many knots in that rope."

* * *

But Sakumo was wrong, on one point, because the Kiri nin expertly escaped their bonds and slashed angrily at the children. Surprised, Sakumo leapt back and defended deftly. He was about to grab his short blade, the one that, with his bright white chakra, gave him the name White Fang, but Tsunade beat him to it.

"This is what happens," she said slowly, approaching the leader of the group slowly.

The man glared, but then his eyes widened and he swallowed.

"When you _interrupt Uncle's story time!_"

Tsunade punched so hard, Sakumo and Jiraiya were worried that Tsunade had killed the man, because the insanely thick tree he was tied to snapped clean in two, and then crunched into several immense shards. The rest of the Kiri nin began quaking, sweating cold sweat.

Tsunade had, actually, been listening to her Uncle tell a story about mold in the Uchiha basement when a skinny boy wearing glasses came in and yelled that Aunty and her children had been kidnapped. Tsunade had literally witnessed Uncle Tobirama snap, and then he deposited her on the Hokage desk and stormed away. After that, Tsunade had leapt out the window—she was disastrously daring like that—grabbed Jiraiya, who was _still_ singing, and then Orochimaru, who was unsuccessfully trying to summon a gigantic snake for some reason, and dragged them to the gates of Konoha.

"Track," she had ordered. Orochimaru, surprisingly, dropped to the ground and studied the fine gravel. He was looking for the faintest trace of footprints, but honestly, he looked like a bloodhound sniffing for a trail.

And then, here they were, via Sakumo's pigeon.

* * *

Tobirama still had no idea what had happened, but he was rather impressed when he saw that Tsunade and Sakumo had promptly beat up all the Kiri nin (rather excessive, but extremely funny to say later, "Oh yeah, I punched a crazy Kiri nin in the face"…).

And then there was Aki. The stab to the shoulder had hit a vital artery, right in the joint, and they barely managed to get him to the hospital alive. Despite Hiruzen constantly yelling in his ears, Aki soon passed out.

The medic walked out, blood on his hands, and shook his head.

Someone wailed.

* * *

The Hyuuga clan head was so angry, he used his Gentle Fist on all of the mold and expelled the nasty stuff from his home. He then screamed that this was the Uchiha's fault, and attacked the Uchiha. Kagami's father engaged with Aki's father, and the two began a clan war. Tobirama tried to stop them, but then Mito jumped in.

"Cease!" she exclaimed, authoritatively. Both clans quieted. "This situation does not call for a war. Violence is unnecessary. All we need is—"

* * *

"Love!" sang Jiraiya, humming the tune to the song. "All we need is love, love! Love is all we need!"

"I actually think your singing skills improved just by screaming all those songs," Orochimaru commented flatly.

"Why thank you," Jiraiya answered proudly.

"I don't want to know," Sakumo deadpanned. "Hey, I'm going to Dan's house. Wanna come over?"

"Sure," agreed Jiraiya, before continuing his song.

"You guys always leave me out," pouted young Tsunade.

"You're a girl," replied Jiraiya. "Besides, don't you have to babysit Nawaki?"

"Babies are annoying," pouted Tsunade.

"That's true," Jiraiya had to agree.

* * *

About an hour later…

"Hokage-sama! Princess Tsunade has been kidnapped!" exclaimed the weedy boy.

Mito, who was discussing whether or not meatloaf was a good choice for the kids today, turned around.

"She _what?_"

The Kyuubi chuckled; maybe he'd get to have some fun today…

* * *

Suddenly, a huge claw wiped out the Hokage Tower, and Hiruzen's body was smashed into the—

* * *

—Toka's eyes opened.

"What the—?!" she muttered, sitting up. As her vision cleared, and the slight nausea in her stomach settled, she calmed down. The Senju woman was simply in her own bed, at home, and she'd had a nightmare. Ah. Makes sense.

It was around three in the morning, but she padded over to Tobirama's place just to be sure. Hearing nothing, she quietly opened the door to the kids' nursery. The blue boy slept peacefully in his little bed, and the little girl was dreaming in her cradle. All was well.

Sighing with relief, Toka headed back to her room. As she turned, however, a man wearing a Kirigakure flak jacket brought a knife to her throat.

"Going somewhere?" he whispered menacingly. Recognition dawned on Toka's face.

"You're that—"

* * *

For some reason, Toka flew over the village and held out her hands grandly.

"Face the judgment of a god!" she exclaimed, as if carrying out an execution. The villagers cowered, and then suddenly all went still.

"Call Hashirama back!" someone screamed.

"Shinra Tensei!"

* * *

Tsunade's eye shot open. What…what was that?! She'd had a nightmare about Toka pretending to be Pein, and what was that before it? Was that Auntie getting kidnapped? Tsunade glanced beside her, where Tonton the pig snorted in her sleep. No. All was well. She smiled, reminiscing of the time that she had seriously tried to invade the boys' sleepover, and Dan had thrown a pillow at her. Nawaki had been clinging to her pant leg.

"Oh, Tsunade-sama!" Shizune exclaimed. Tsunade jumped. Since when was Shizune in her room?!

Shizune smiled, and offered Tsunade some water. Tsunade, a bit confused, accepted it. And it was then that she saw that the water was moldy, and on top of the mold was a mushroom, atop _that _some more mold, and atop that a big red flower. The blonde woman looked up.

Shizune took Tsunade's Hokage hat and tossed it aside. She then, with the creepiest smile to ever graze the face of Tsunade's assistants, donned a Kirigakure hitai-ate and pulled a kunai from her pocket…

* * *

Naruto awoke with a start. He was seriously confused now, and didn't remember half of his dream. Suddenly, an empty ramen cup bounced off his nightstand and clattered onto the floor, spilling some leftover soup. That was strange.

_I didn't eat ramen today, I had barbecue with Chouji and the guys…_Naruto thought vaguely. The telephone rang. Naruto stared at it, and didn't answer.

"I'm sorry," said the voice message. "I made some ramen for you, but I got hungry and ate it, and then I left it on your nightstand."

It was Hinata's voice.

"Did you sleep well?"

Naruto stared at the phone.

"I like your sleeping hat. It's cute."

Naruto, with horrified slowness, turned to look out his window. There she was, the Hyuuga, staring at him from the lamppost, a creepy shadow on her cheeks. She grinned then, and the glint of the lamppost revealed the hitai-ate around her neck. It was a…

* * *

Kakashi fell off his bed. _What _in the name of _Obito_ was _that_?! He sort of remembered seeing his father in his dream…or was it himself? Anyway, he breathed deeply and went back to sleep. The Copy Ninja wasn't really bothered by things like this. He tucked himself back into his comfy comforters, rubbing his left eye. The Sharingan was swirling uncomfortably, ruining the comfy comforters. He glanced at the clock:

Four in the morning.

Sighing, he tried to get some more sleep before he got up at five to start a mission. He glanced at the pictures of his teams, wondering if he should be extra late that day. His eyes closed.

The picture began talking to him.

The picture began talking to him?

"Pssst. Kakashi. Psssst." No, the picture was _not _talking to him. Obito himself was leaning through the window, waving his arms. He had his swirly orange mask pushed up his face, and he was grinning just as he had way back when. Besides the scars and the extra Sharingan he'd implanted for himself, he looked exactly the same.

"O-Obito?!"

"Hey, Kakashi!" Rin suddenly appeared at the foot of his bed, looking rather cheerful. Her hair was a tad longer, and she was an adult.

Had they come to haunt him?

"I'm actually a ghost," Rin said. "He's plotting world domination, though."

Rin pointed at Obito, who snorted with laughter.

"Wait. What?"

"Don't worry, Kakashi, I will make a world where—"

A voice from out of nowhere began to yell: "YOUTH. THIS IS NOT YOUTH."

Obito blanched, and used Kamui to disappear. Rin just shrugged. Kakashi stared at it all incredulously.

* * *

Gai thrashed in his bed. He woke up, then, yelling that this was not the correct form of youth he sought, and he still loved Rin, and Obito had bad fashion sense, and Kakashi is wearing a mask in his sleep!

Gai yelled some bizarre things in his dreams.

He then, in a half-awake half-asleep stupor, began chanting the powers of youthfulness.

"Tenten! Neji! Behold my true self!" he exclaimed, tossing his blankets off of himself as if he was unveiling a cape.

Gai's body was the Nine Tails.

Everyone screamed.

* * *

Neji winced. Why were these images flashing before his eyes? As far as he knew, the last thing he'd seen was Hinata leaping in front of Naruto, and then—

Ah. Here he was, body numb, coughing blood.

"We need a freaking medic!" screamed Naruto at the top of his lungs, voice straining. Neji shook his head, though. Naruto's voice was quaking, and Neji could sense Hinata shaking beside him.

"It's too late," he muttered.

"Neji, no, not at a time like this!" Naruto cried.

_The bird opened the swinging cage door, hopping onto the outside bar. It flew away, then, free at last._

* * *

"Didn't you say you weren't going to let me kill your comrades?"

* * *

Madara was getting seriously worried. The boy was cackling in his sleep. Even Zetsu and Tobi were now staring at him.

"Take that, Bakakashi," Obito giggled. "See that? I killed your comrades!"

Obito laughed maniacally. What in the world was he dreaming about?! (Well, first off, he was probably confused at who he was laughing at, as well.)

"Rin, no! Don't send that mission report in!" he screamed. Madara was getting nervous, now. Sure, he himself was quite insane, and sure, he'd had wacky dreams in which he yelled obnoxious things about Mito—dreams that got him in a lot of trouble—but this boy was extreme.

That was good. Madara rubbed his hands together. His plot was coming together nicely.

"No Rin, why'd you close the window on me?! I was going to braid Kakashi's hair!" Obito shouted. "No, no, no, I'm going to kill the Hokage myself!"

Zetsu poked Obito in the side. The young Uchiha batted the plant-man away.

"Seriously, first I will kill her little pig, and then I will—Wait, what? What do you mean I lack youth? Seriously, Gai, you probably couldn't beat me now if you tried. I don't care if you beat me in the chuunin exams, I have my Kamui!"

A pause.

"No. _No_. I am _not your ally_!"

Another pause.

"You are at _my mercy!_"

Tobi poked Obito.

"Haha, I destroyed the Alliance's mind!"

Zetsu rolled Obito onto his stomach, so that the boy was speaking into his pillow. Not that that was weird, watching him sleep, because there was just one random bed in the middle of the cavern. (A centipede, at the head of the mattress, clicked its claws, delighting in the random things that Obito muttered.)

"Feel despair! What?! No, I do _not_."

"Does not what?" Tobi hissed to Zetsu. The other one shrugged.

"Seriously, I want my dinner! Gramps, I want ravioli!"

Zetsu and Tobi sniggered. Madara rolled his eyes.

"No way! I'm not sharing it with you, Tobi!" mumbled Obito, swatting at nothing. He grabbed his comforters and tossed them off the bed. "I'll Kamui your youth away, Gai! Now shut up, I just killed your student."

"This is getting violent," whispered Tobi. Zetsu shrugged. Madara chuckled.

"Lucy in the sky," Obito sang, "with diamonds!"

"That's it, someone wake him up." Madara stood instantly, strutting over and shaking the boy until he woke up. Madara glared, his Sharingan swirling…

* * *

Hashirama shook his head. Every time Madara's Sharingan appeared in one of his nightmares—in which Madara stole Mito, or something of the like—he would wake up in a cold sweat, glancing over quickly to check that his wife was safely tucked into bed next to him.

Mito slept soundly, curled up so that her head rested just next to his arm.

Hashirama made a mental note to teach Tobirama the necessities of being Hokage, soon, because if his dreams didn't make him insane first, then Madara would seriously steal Mito, and then Hashirama would have to kill the crazy Uchiha. In the possibility of his own death, Hashirama had a responsibility to hand the village over to the next Hokage.

In the morning, Hashirama pulled Tobirama aside and told him his plans in all seriousness. Tobirama, who had initially given Hashirama the "I-don't-know-if-you've-gone-crazy-or-what" face, realized that his older brother was not kidding, so he took the words to heart.

"There are things that Hokage need to be aware of, things that he needs to divide his attention to. Priorities must be decided on," Hashirama said. "The future will bring difficulties, I'm sure."

Judging from his ominous dreams, crazy people singing and invading villages, even crushing them, was a huge possibility. (He was sure Toka wouldn't destroy the village, though.)

"Don't forget, Tobirama," Hashirama said seriously. "There are some things you must take seriously, as Hokage. There are also times where you may be lighthearted and more easygoing, because taking things seriously all the time may be harmful to health, you know?"

Tobirama nodded gravely.

"I trust you to make that decision."

* * *

And Tobirama made plenty of mistakes, but at least the village trusted his judgment. He often took the latter part of his brother's advice, the relaxing part, much too often, but he knew when he was needed. He knew what to do, when he was needed.

* * *

There were certain things that the Hokage should take lightly, and certain things he should not. The fact that the Uchiha complex was on fire should've alarmed the public, seeing as the blaze could be seen all the way from the center market, but Tobirama was not at all concerned for the well-being of that clan in particular. However, upon hearing that his two-year-old daughter had scraped her knee at the park, he was up and out of the office faster than the Flying Thunder God himself.

* * *

Tobirama knew where his priorities were.

* * *

__That turned into complete madness, I'm sorry.

Stalker!Hinata is from Naruto SD.

Obito somehow can tell his future.

Spoilers for 614, sorry, sorry.

No, Aki doesn't die.

Mito, when in Tobirama's office, has no recollection of trying to stop a clan war.

Gai is really the Kyuubi.

Oh, the creepy Kiri nin.

(This was really a challenge to see how random I could be. I hope it wasn't too hard to follow.)

Creepy Shizune is creepy. Maybe I should've made Tonton the killer. lol.

Too crazy.

Toka being Pein is just lol.

The "I'll make you feel pain" is just a Pein thing, and inspired by this week's Naruto SD. (laughs)

RIP NEJI.

**REST IN PEACE, HERO OF THE HYUUGA AND THE KONOHA 12.**

****Though in this world (Naruto), we learn to not trust character death anymore. He might just pop up again. Magically. Like Gaara, and every single villager of Konoha. /facepalm/

Comments, concerns (oh boy), BURNING DESIRES?!


	26. Five O'Clock Shadow

Senju + sexy stubble = more sexy.

Or some odd logic like that. From wisdom-jewel. Oh the ideas...

Oh yes, and they are actually working on the chuunin exams...;P

**Disclaimer: **Naruto doesn't belong to me, because if you haven't noticed, or if you're not keeping up with the manga, well... Neji freakin' Hyuuga is dead, and I'm _still _wallowing in despair. This does not bode well for my Euro final (which I'm exempting but still...)

**Note: **I write fluffy love.

Nothing more... =3= ohoho.

* * *

**Chapter 26: ****Five O'Clock Shadow**

Mariko didn't see Tobirama leave the office for three days. He and Hashirama were working hard on some project, who knows what that is. When he finally emerged on the third night, looking tired and worn out, he had a five o'clock shadow—his facial hair took a while to grow out—and was mumbling to himself.

"You need to shave," Mariko commented.

"Do I?" Tobirama asked, rubbing his jaw. The more Mariko looked at it, the more sexy it became, so she said nothing. Tobirama just shrugged. "Nah. I'm too lazy. Got a problem with it?"

Mariko still said nothing.

"No? Okay."

"Just don't grow a Santa beard!" she blurted. Tobirama gave his wife a funny look and ruffled her hair. She swatted his hands away, and he laughed. Five o'clock shadow it was, despite it growing over the span of a day or two.

* * *

"I have this strange gut feeling that you actually like this," Tobirama said, entering the bathroom without Mariko's permission. The door had been locked, but Tobirama, being Tobirama, somehow had a pin that unlocked the knob easily. He sauntered in without a care and leaned over Mariko, who was, luckily, just brushing her teeth, and peered at his stubble in the mirror.

"What makes you think that?" Mariko answered lightly. She gargled and rinsed.

"Well, you told me to shave it, and then you were okay with me keeping it," Tobirama told her, "So I'm sort of confused here."

Mariko said nothing and wiped her face with a towel.

"So I'm right?"

Mariko remained silent, and Tobirama leaned over so that his face was in the angle of her neck. The slight stubble, sort of gray and sort of white, tickled her skin. The small blunette froze as her tall Senju husband tested the power of his barely-there beard as if it was some kind of weapon. She couldn't help but giggle.

"A_ha!_" exclaimed Tobirama. His left hand went to her back, his right to the behind her knees, and he swept her up in his arms, bridal style. "You _do_ like it!"

"I—"

"You can't hide the power of my facial hair," Tobirama declared jokingly. He set her on the bed, then, kicking the bathroom door shut behind him. He paused, watching Mariko hide her face behind her hands, still giggling. Tobirama then started tickling her like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

Mito thought she heard someone scream for mercy, but she could've been mistaken.

* * *

"S-stop tickling me!" Mariko cried, climbing up via Tobirama's shirt and wrapping her arms around his neck. He swooped down to kiss her lightly, the stubble on his chin prickling her skin.

"Admit it," Tobirama said. "You like this."

He pretended to stroke a long, nonexistent beard. Mariko just punched him lightly in the chest. Tobirama feigned a fatal blow, collapsing on the bed. The blunette grabbed a pillow and thwacked him in the face with it.

"My face!" he wailed mockingly. "My beautiful facial hair!"

"You are _ridiculous_," laughed Mariko, yelping when Tobirama pulled her down beside him before she could hit him with the pillow again. One day, he thought, they'd have kids and then they'd have a wild pillow family fight just for the giggles. Maybe he'd have a beard, by then, too.

"Maybe I'll grow a beard," Tobirama mused. Mariko reached up and stroked the red tattoo on his chin, one of the three on his face.

"No," she responded decisively. It was sexy, but…no.

"Why not?"

"You'll look like Hiruzen's dad."

Tobirama paused, then, thinking. Indeed, it was true that Sarutobi Sasuke had a sharp, triangular beard, one that eventually Hiruzen would grow out himself. Considering this, Tobirama made a face and agreed.

"You're right," he said, eyes wide, shuddering.

"I'm tired." Flopping over, Mariko buried her face in the pillow.

"Wait a minute, you were just giggling like an idiot," Tobirama argued, poking her side and starting to tickle her again. "_What are you hiding?!_"

Mariko kicked out at him, and at the same time, saw the huge centipede on the ceiling. She went dead silent, eyes widening and cheeks draining of color until she was an unhealthy shade of slight green. Tobirama, confused, stared at her.

"Kill it." Mariko pointed at the bug. Tobirama followed her gaze, and found the gigantic centipede easily. He grabbed a shinobi sandal and leapt up to swat at it, but the bug was insanely fast, and escaped out the crack under the door as fast as the Flying Thunder God. Mariko still had not calmed down, grabbing her husband's sleeve and begging him to kill it.

So Tobirama set off on a journey, looking rugged with his beard and pretty much insane as he crawled outside and searched for the centipede.

* * *

Mito wondered why Tobirama set off a gigantic wave of water in the courtyard. Rather than ponder this side of the question, she delighted in the fact that she might get to punch someone other than Madara.

* * *

Hashirama did not want to know why Tobirama looked like a homeless man crouched at the entrance of the Senju complex when he got home. He never got a chance to ask, anyway, because his younger brother grabbed him abruptly and he was forced to join the quest to kill the centipede.

THERE IT WAS.

They chased it like madmen, Hashirama for some reason actually trying to kill it. Maybe it was because he knew that Mariko might scream in the night. Her screams were sufficient for a human fire alarm, home security system, and tornado warning, but he certainly did _not _want to wake up in a panic, with Mito holding up the chair like a bat, only to find that a bug was in the house.

_Your Mokuton is no match for me!_ At least, that's what it seemed like the centipede was saying, as it clicked away faster than any shinobi. Well. It was gone, so that was that.

"Why do you have a beard?"

"Uh. Because we were in the office for three days. You have one too." Tobirama sniggered.

Hashirama lifted a hand to his chin.

"Huh," he said, contemplatively. "I do."

Mito and Mariko appeared then, Mariko behind the redhead's long curtain of hair, asking if it was gone yet. Tobirama assured her it was gone. However, Mito—ignoring Tobirama's three-day-long five o'clock shadow—stared at her husband like he was an alien come to earth, about to disguise himself as a crazy Kiri nin and take over Konoha.

"…honey?" Hashirama asked Mito. (Was it the beard?)

"_Who are you and what have you done with my husband?"_ she hissed, a murderous aura filling the night air around her. Mariko and Tobirama inched away slowly…

"Mito? Honey?! Wait, what are you—" Hashirama was tackled to the ground.

"I guess she doesn't like the beard," Tobirama mused. Mariko nodded gravely, as Tobirama rubbed his jaw. "I'll shave, then, so that she doesn't kill me when she notices mine."

"Tobirama!" snapped Hashirama, as Mito shook him by the collar.

"Yes, oh honorable bearded brother?" quipped the younger Senju.

"Don't you dare help him, Tobirama," Mito cut in. "What is this? Facial hair?! How dare you!"

"Why is she so worked up?" Mariko whispered. It was Tobirama's turn to shake his head.

"I have no idea. Time of the month?"

Mariko elbowed him in the ribs, and he laughed.

* * *

Oh, Senju. I guess Mito likes a clean-shaven man, and expects Hashi to be all neat and tidy like that.

Or she's just crazy at the moment. No worries, I think it's normal for all women. (I know I would randomly start ranting... lol.)

Yes. Saru's dad's name is actually Sasuke.

(The Neji feels are still there...)

Senju beards grow..._slowly_.

The next desire...is a topless Tobirama at the beach. Maybe he ran away. . .


	27. Future - Festival Phenomenons

Watching Naruto SD spirals into chaos. Behold, more ghosts!

**CHECK OUT MY DEVIANTART (link on profile page) TO SEE EPIC HASHIRAMA and co. PICTURE. It's deviously hilarious.**

Sorry for the delay - went on break, school again, etc. Also, this also spirals into chaos...just like Naruto SD. I love Naruto SD. I also am having a Team Gai moment...well, more like a NejiTen run, so, you might hear from them a lot.

HERE IT IS. A future special, again...=3=

Makes no sense, but here it is anyway.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. (NejiTen isn't canon, sooooo...)

* * *

**Chapter 27: ****Future - Festival Phenomenons**

Naruto woke up to a sudden chill on the back of his neck. He was hesitant to shift from the warmth of his covers, but the tingle up his spine made him check. The blonde rolled over under his comforters so that his forehead popped out of his warm den. He glanced around his dark room, vision hazy, a stream of moonlight dimly lighting the floorboards.

"Hey, Naruto." It was the Third Hokage, of all people, in his room. Naruto yawned, and laughed sleepily. _I must be dreaming_, he thought.

"Hey, Gramps," he chuckled, yawning in the midst of his greeting. Wait a minute… "Gramps?!"

A cough. Good ole Hayate-sensei leaned against the windowsill, quietly informing the Hokage of some news.

"Hayate-sensei?!" screeched Naruto, leaping out of his covers and cowering in the corner, hitting his head on the headboard first. He held his head and squeezed his eyes shut in pain, hoping that he'd jumped in fright and all of this was a nightmare.

"Be careful there, Naruto," the Third said, chuckling. Naruto just stared wide-eyed at the old man, starting to tremble when the Hokage's feet began to shimmer and vanish before his eyes. Hayate waved, and the two disappeared completely. Naruto stared at the spot they'd just occupied, eyes bulging.

His neighbors complained to the landlord of screaming during the night.

* * *

Ah, Konoha, as the seasons change and the green grass glows in the hot summer daylight! Oh, but the best part is, the midsummer festival! A longtime, standing tradition from the time when the First Hokage ruled the village, and it has only grown since then!

"Are you going to the festival?" Kiba asked, nonchalantly petting Akamaru's head. Hinata nodded her head eagerly, smiling. Kiba then asked all the others if they were going, and they all said yes.

"Why do you ask, Kiba?" Tenten replied.

"My sister's making me do chores, and I might miss the fireworks," groaned the Inuzuka, as his canine partner whined sadly, tail thumping insistently.

"That sucks," replied Lee. "But don't worry! I know you can finish it!"

Lee flashed his good guy pose, complete with the tooth sparkle and the overused thumbs up. Tenten laughed, Neji groaned, and Hinata giggled. Shino, however, glowered behind them all.

"Kiba," he said too seriously. "You asked everyone if they were going to the festival, but you didn't ask me."

"Oh, Shino, I didn't notice you were there."

The dark, depressed aura around the Aburame became a few shades darker. Neji was worried that Shino might suddenly latch onto somebody and drag them into despair. They all edged away from the bug shinobi cautiously, laughing nervously.

"Oh Shino, of course we'd include you," Sakura mended, smiling.

"Sakura's right, the Konoha 11 leave out no one!" Ino agreed.

"Konoha 11?" said Chouji. "If you add Sai, wouldn't that make it 12?"

The Akimichi was _very_ careful to avoid mentioning Sasuke, and the others were rather grateful for it. It wouldn't do to have Sakura or Ino thrown into a Shino-like depression.

"That's right! I'll go ask Sai if he wants to come later," Sakura said.

"Where's Naruto?" Shikamaru asked. It had taken quite some effort to say the words, seeing as he didn't want to spend so much troublesome time looking for said blonde. But, the words were out, and now they had to deal with Naruto.

"I don't really know, he probably got up late," Sakura replied.

"Or he'd just eating ramen," Kiba reasoned. Murmurs of assent rippled through the group, and then they agreed to meet back under the same tree at around 3:00 in the afternoon, plus Sai and Naruto if they came.

* * *

"Sakura-channnn," wailed Naruto, "you gotta help me!"

"What?" snapped Sakura, shoving the clingy blonde off her shoulder. "Hey, let go of me first! What happened?"

"I'm seeing _ghosts_," he moaned. Sakura noticed the dark circles under the Uzumaki's eyes, and the way he warily glanced about, as if everything spooked him. Probably a bad dream, she supposed.

"You had a bad dream, and you're tired. It's nothing," she told him reassuringly.

"It wasn't a dream," Naruto replied hoarsely, eyes darting around. "_Ghosts_."

Sakura, somehow, knew that Naruto was deadly afraid of ghosts. But she only sighed and shook her head.

"We're meeting up for the festival at three, okay? Don't be late, we'll be at the big oak outside the market, you know the one. See ya!" Sakura bounced away, trying to get away from Naruto's creepy, wide-eyed prowling. He was worse than Shino, seriously.

* * *

But Naruto was not lying to her. There _had_ been ghosts that summer.

* * *

"Tsunade-sama, there's a council meeting right now," Shizune informed the Fifth. She glanced at the blonde, who was working away at a paper as if her life depended on it, pencil flying. "Tsunade-sama?"

"Quiet, Shizune, this paper must be done!" Tsunade scribbled more notes down.

"What's that?" Shizune asked curiously. She bent over her teacher to see that she was working to help one of the gambling houses in Konoha's entertainment center. It was closing down, due to some problems, and now Tsunade was frantically trying to save it.

"It's not for me, it's for the people!" Tsunade claimed. Shizune sighed, knowing better.

"That's great, Tsunade-sama, but there's a meeting—"

"Tell them I'm busy."

Shizune _really_ didn't want to tell the council members that Tsunade could not be present. She'd been yelled at by sour old Koharu enough.

* * *

"What do you mean by _Tsunade can't come_?" one of the council members asked. "This is important stuff!"

"We express our sincerest apologies," began Shizune, before she was cut off.

"No matter. Carry on the meeting," snapped the old lady Koharu, eyes squinting at the Fifth's assistant. That Tsunade, always avoiding troublesome matters. This beginning portion of the meeting had little to do with too much of Hokage-Konoha politics, so she supposed they could do without her. "We're fine without the Hokage for now."

"Thank you very much," Shizune muttered quickly, dodging out the door.

* * *

"You guys never let _me_ skimp out on meetings," said the voice of a teenage boy, at the end of the council aisle. Cross-legged on the empty spot that used to be Danzo's, was Sarutobi Hiruzen, 16 years old again. "Seriously, Koharu, are you getting soft?"

The entire council gaped at the specter, Homura's glasses slipping off his nose. They would've broken, had another figure not grabbed them quickly.

"Homura, is why you hold books so close to your face? So that you can catch your glasses?" asked Kagami, leaning on the councilman's chair. The Uchiha smirked and nodded at the daimyo's representatives. "Hey."

"Who is that?" demanded one of the men present at the table.

"Me? I'm Uchiha Kagami," Kagami stated proudly, spinning around and showing off the Uchiha crest on his back. "It's okay. I'm dead."

They all just stared at him, too.

"Hiruzen, get out of my seat." And there, also 16 years old again, was Danzo, shoving Hiruzen off of the table. "Last time I remembered, you sat at the _head_ of the table."

"Hey, that's Tsunade's spot now," defended Hiruzen, brushing himself off casually. "But if you insist…"

Danzo glared at Hiruzen as the Sarutobi sauntered up the Hokage's spot and sat in it casually, as if he'd been in it for decades—which he had.

"Can we…pretend this is not happening and get this meeting going?" Homura stuttered, clearing his throat. The elders stared at the specters, trying to believe that it was just their eyesight deteriorating with age, floating white figures in their vision just a part of being elderly…

"So, if I yodel in here, will my voice echo?"

"Uh, Kushina, we're not going through this again."

"If I throw an egg through that window, can I—"

"No."

"Aw, Minato, you suck the fun out of everything!" The pouty redhead and her quick, blonde companion stared at the windows around the council hall. Minato sighed, watching as the Uzumaki girl zoomed around the council table and hopped onto the table just in front of Hiruzen. She cackled loudly.

"Jeez, Kushina, can you calm down for once?" Biwako sternly pulled the redhead off the desk, and Hiruzen giggled. "Hiruzen, don't giggle like that, it's creepy."

Biwako turned, glancing at the young people and her two friends, Homura and Koharu. Their hair had faded to gray, and their once fair, light skin was old and marked with age.

"What?" she asked innocently. "You two sure have gotten old, you know."

* * *

The Konoha 12 girls were planning a sleepover, that night. They all lugged their things to Ino's place, where they settled down in her room above the shop. After lunch, they planned out what they were going to do for the festival, and also what to do when they came home from fireworks, for the slumber party. It was really a girls' night, tonight.

"Can you guys help me run the shop for about an hour? My mom went out," Ino said, about an hour before they planned to meet up for the festival with the boys. The girls agreed, and they played card games and gossiped whilst serving the customers. There was a larger number of shoppers, looking for a bouquet of lilies or roses for loved ones that lovely festival day.

One of them was a tall, white-haired Senju, wondering what kind of flowers his dear wife would like.

"Can I help you?" Ino asked, not recognizing the tall man at first. All she knew was that he was stunningly handsome.

"Ah, yes," Tobirama replied, smiling. "Something for my wife, today? I'd like to surprise her."

"I know just the thing!" Ino's face lit up as her area of expertise guided them through the shop to a lovely series of beautiful bouquets.

"Thank you, miss," Tobirama said, smiling as he grasped the bundle of flowers. The wrapping around the bouquet crinkled in his large hands, and he brought them to the cash register. The Yamanaka clan was always very friendly.

Sakura, at the cash register, began to ring up the one bouquet.

"That'll be—" she stuttered for a moment, staring at the Second. She hurriedly ushered the words out of her mouth, telling him the price, which he paid easily. Tobirama thanked the pinkette and turned on his heel, supposing that she was probably stunned by his good looks (he laughed about this to himself).

"Ino! _Ino!_ Do you know who that _was_?!" Sakura demanded. When Ino shook her head, Sakura shoved her head out the window and pointed at the Hokage Mountain. Beside them, Tenten and Hinata were gaping at the shop entrance, which Tobirama had nearly reached.

"Oh my—" Ino pulled herself out from Sakura's grasp and ran outside the clerical desk. She cupped her hands to her mouth and yelled, "Thank you for coming, Hokage-sama! Please come again!"

Tobirama grinned, lifted a hand in salutation.

The girls were silent for a moment. Ino gaped after the man, and then:

"I think only beautiful people get to be Hokage."

* * *

"I _swear I saw them_," Naruto now claimed to Neji, who walked along as if there wasn't a blonde Jinchuuriki following him. "C'mon, Neji, you have to believe me!"

"Hey, Lee, what time is it?" Neji asked.

"2:30," replied the youthful eyebrow boy.

"We should start heading towards the meeting place," Neji said, changing directions. He made a disgruntled noise when Naruto grabbed onto his shirt and moaned loudly.

"_Ghosts_," the blonde jinchuuriki hissed urgently.

"_Idiots_," Neji deadpanned back to the orange-clad ninja, shoving him away.

"_Youth!_" Lee echoed, just to copy the pained expression on Naruto's face.

"Hey, you, can I get directions to—never mind."

The trio looked up, but whoever it was quickly dashed away, for what reason, the boys would never know. Well, one of them had a vague idea, and he shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself, muttering stuff about the supernatural all the way to the meeting place under the tree.

* * *

"Did you see that? That kid looked _just like Aki_." Kagami shook his head incredulously. "Is Aki still alive?"

"Yes, he's still alive," Danzo replied flatly. "That was his grandson."

"Aha!" Kagami slapped a fist into his other palm, grinning. Danzo just rolled his eyes.

* * *

"Excuse me, could you help me find my way to…" Mariko pointed out the one shop she'd always frequented when she lived. However, as to be expected, the village had changed tremendously, and she could no longer find her way through the shopping center with ease.

"Sure," said the blue-eyed blonde girl, smiling. "This here is my flower shop, this here is the barbeque place, and _this_ is what you're looking for. It's a bright building, you can't miss it if you go straight down that road." Ino pointed down the way.

"Thank you," Mariko said, smiling gratefully. Ino watched the blunette disappear around the corner.

"She has such pretty hair…and it's blue," she mused.

"And I have pink hair," Sakura replied sarcastically.

"Uh huh. And Hinata has green hair, and Tenten has rainbow hair," Ino snorted, rolling her eyes.

* * *

"So, we ran into a total hottie today," Ino began. She then wondered what in the world she was talking about. There was something about this mysteriously attractive man, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Was he married? Oh yes, that must've been the problem. "He was married though."

"That's great, Ino," Shikamaru drawled, unwilling to move away from his comfortable position leaning against the tree. When the blonde tried pulling him, he slouched and glared.

"Festival food!" exclaimed Chouji, completely ignoring the previous comments.

"I don't think that was the problem, Ino." Sakura smiled gently. Tenten giggled, prompting Neji to give her a funny look, and Lee to flash a random good-guy pose.

"Oh really?" Ino had forgotten already.

"Maybe the fact that it was _the Second freaking Hokage_," Sakura growled. She wanted to slap her forehead, but that would earn some big forehead comments.

But everyone was silent. Kiba was about to burst out in laughter when Naruto began to scream his head off.

"GHOSTS!" he wailed, diving behind Akamaru. "THEY'RE COMING FOR US, OH MY GOSH, OH MY FREAKING JASHIN, HELP—"

Sakura punched him through a wall, silencing the jinchuuriki quickly.

* * *

Evening had settled on Konoha, but the main events and festivities had only just begun. As Lady Luck would have it, Tsunade was trying her hand at all the gambling games, each attempt emptying a good wad of money out of her wallet.

"Seriously, Tsunade, I'm surprised Konoha isn't broke," Shizune chuckled nervously.

"Don't be so silly," Tsunade mended. "I don't gamble on Konoha."

"Uh huh," Shizune mumbled to herself. She vaguely glanced over the mask-maker's station, a very amusing thing to observe. Masks of all colors and shapes were hung up, the most bizarre ones ranging from a one eye-holed orange swirl to something that looked vaguely like Akatsuki's Deidara (it came complete with big foam hands, tongues and all drawn in; good for sports cheering).

"Ah, Tsunade-sama!"

If it wasn't her cute little pupil, Sakura, and her cute little friends. Oh. And Naruto.

Tsunade smiled as she conversed lightly with the pink-haired girl, along with Ino, Tenten, Hinata, Hanabi, who decided to tag along, and some of the boys. She didn't ask why Naruto was nervously twitching, especially every time Kiba yelped suddenly. Kiba would then laugh raucously as Naruto whimpered and dove behind Lee.

"Naruto, isn't that Orochimaru?" Lee would randomly say, causing the blonde Uzumaki to glare at the green beast of Konoha. "Naruto, isn't that Jiraiya-sama?"

"Lee," scolded Tenten, "that's too far!"

"Sorry, Naruto-kun."

"It's o-okay," Naruto stuttered, seemingly more worried about the actual ghosts rather than being offended.

"Naruto-kun, isn't that Pein?!"

"WAHH NAGATO DON'T EAT ME!"

"Will you _shut up_," Neji snapped. It wasn't a request, it was an order, and he placed the I-Will-Hakke-Rokujyuu-Yonshou-You-To-Iwagakure death glare on both Lee and Naruto. Hinata shyly twiddled her fingers together, while Hanabi looked extremely bored. She should've gone with Konohamaru and the gang, she supposed.

"What's up with him?" Tsunade asked, amused.

"He says he's seeing ghosts," Ino sighed. Though after the Second Hokage incident, she and Sakura were seriously debating it as well. Tenten and Hinata, however, hadn't seen Tobirama, and were totally confused.

"Ghosts? Pah!" Tsunade laughed.

"No, seriously," wailed Naruto.

"Seriously what?" asked Shikamaru. "Oh yeah, my dad said something weird happened with the council."

"What's that?" Tsunade inquired, interest piqued. She had, after all, skipped out on the council meeting.

"Uh. I don't know." Shikamaru shrugged.

"That's because you're too lazy to find out," Chouji told him knowingly. "Apparently something more with ghosts, I heard something about a habanero? You know, I like some spicy foods, especially at that one new restaurant, you know—"

"HABANERO!" cried Naruto.

"Do I have to punch you through a wall again?" threatened Sakura, her voice a menacing growl. Naruto shook his head feverishly, blonde hair swishing back and forth. Hinata wished she could touch his hair; it looked so soft. Then again, the death glare that Neji nii-san was currently giving Naruto gave even Hanabi the chills. At home, he was a pretty relaxed guy…usually.

"I heard Habanero!"

"Run for it!"

Laughter, and the voices of Sakura's parents were heard. Sakura fumed, telling them not to embarrass her, but her father, with his wacky three-point hair, chuckled and patted his precious daughter's hair fondly.

"Back in the day, when someone yelled Habanero, we ran for it!" he laughed. When his daughter asked why, he explained, "That's because our good friend, Uzumaki Kushina, was the scariest thing since Tsunade-sama. No offense, Hokage-sama."

"Uzumaki?" Sakura echoed softly, stealing a glance at her annoying blonde teammate.

"Yep, that's the one! Had red hair just like a habanero," Sakura's mother added. "It's been a while since we talked about her…"

"Yeah, you know, I miss talking about me too!"

Said redhead popped up behind Haruno Kizashi, with his funky hair, and Haruno Mebuki, whose face her daughter had inherited.

"You know, Ichiraku's the most popular now. I bet it's because of me," Kushina giggled. The Konoha kids stared at the redhead. A few of them vaguely thought that she was really pretty, most of them were confused, and one blonde boy started screaming. Loudly.

"MOM IS A GHOST! OH MY—"

"That kid looks like the Fourth…"

"You know, there's a kid that sprouts trees just like you, too."

"Well, there's a girl that based her hairstyle off of you. Aren't you proud?"

"I _am_. Plus, my granddaughter is the Hokage."

"My granddaughter is your granddaughter, Mito."

"My genes, obviously."

"Seriously, guys, this is getting boring. I can't find Mariko, I think she got—hey, it's the flower girls!"

Ino and Sakura gaped at the trio coming down the road. From behind them came that blue-haired girl from earlier, still rather lost.

"Seriously, Tobirama! Why didn't you tell me the village is all jumbled up?!" she demanded sourly.

"Uh. These are for you!" Tobirama abruptly thrust the flowers into Mariko's face. The blunette glared, but accepted them anyway. Well, more like she harshly snapped them from his hands and pouted. Then she caught sight of Tsunade.

"Oh, Tsu-chan, is that you?!" she exclaimed. "You're taller than me now!"

"Everyone's taller than you," Tobirama muttered. His wife elbowed him in the ribs, and all the Konoha 12 could think was _The Second's wife is so adorable…_

In some weird, twisted way.

"Grand…pa? Grandma? Uncle Tobirama?" Tsunade fainted dead away.

"I TOLD YOU SO!" hissed Naruto, spinning in a circle frantically. He would've gotten away, had the Konohamaru Corps not appeared, effectively blocking his path.

"I challenge you to a fight!" Konohamaru declared boisterously. Moegi and Udon sort of just looked on, watching their teammate's antics play out.

"That kid looks suspiciously like Saru," Tobirama whispered. "And those two are just like Homura and Koharu."

"That's because he's my grandson," Hiruzen whispered back. "And those are our grandchildren…"

"Hey, Saru's here!" Kagami exclaimed. All the ghosts were appearing…

"You _know_, I _swear_ that shop was still around here…" Jiraiya poked his head around the corner.

"You know, I've been dead longer than you, but I don't even remember there being a clothes shop around here," Sakumo replied flatly. At this point, the entire area was frozen in shock, watching the ghosts.

Somewhere, Kakashi sneezed.

He thought he was hallucinating when Kushina ran past the ramen shop, and Rin chased after her, yelling something about messing up the Hokage Tower.

* * *

"You know, she really does take after Mito," Tobirama commented, as Hashirama carried his now-old granddaughter back to the Hokage Tower. Somewhere along the way, Shizune had gotten lost.

"Crazy kids," Hashirama muttered.

"Just like us," Hiruzen chuckled. "Well, I'm going to go see if I can freak out some more people. We should visit Iwagakure!"

"No," the two other Hokage replied immediately.

"Aw, not you too, Tobirama-sensei."

"Guys, I lost Kushina." Minato appeared in a split second. "I lost Rin and Hayate, too. And Asuma."

"You're supposed to look after the kids," Hiruzen scolded jokingly.

"…I lost the Uchiha, too."

"Oh boy."

* * *

"Tea?" Mikoto offered. Fugaku declined. They sat in the old Uchiha complex, reminiscing a peaceful time among the clan members…

"I'm surprised Obito and Kagami aren't here," Fugaku mused.

"I saw Kagami, but not Obito," replied Mikoto.

Kagami appeared, then.

"I saw Obito _when I died_."

…

* * *

"Seriously, that kid grew up fast."

* * *

"Seriously, Chouji, I thought you didn't like spicy."

Team Ten whipped around to see Asuma leaning against a doorway. Shikamaru wasn't sure if he fainted, or he was just crushed by Ino and Chouji fainting and falling on him.

* * *

"Hinata, I'm bored. Can I go with Konohamaru's group?" asked Hanabi.

"Sure," the older Hyuuga sister agreed. It was then that they looked up, and a face nearly identical to their father's smiled at them and waved from a distance. Hanabi latched onto her sister's arm, eyes widening. Hinata just stared incredulously.

Next to them, Neji had paled so much (not that he wasn't pale already) that Tenten and Lee feared he'd become a Neji-snowman.

* * *

"Uzumaki Naruto, I will finally obtain your Kyuubi!"

An ominous voice, booming over Naruto and Sakura at midnight. He held up an orb to the full moon, and suddenly, a weird sensation came over the two. It was as if they were being sucked into another world…

_Road to Ninja: Naruto the Movie!_

* * *

"You know, Lee, that's a great plot and all, but don't you think it's sort of overboard?" Tenten said. "Like that one dream you had of fighting Akatsuki's Tobi? Have you even met him? Half of us don't really know what he looks like, even from the descriptions. A swirly mask, what is that?"

"It's not crazy, Tenten! You know it's good," Lee insisted. Neji shook his head.

* * *

Mito punched Madara into the Hokage Tower. Tsunade had no idea why one of the pillars on the roof was cracked in half, but only thought of the cost to repair it. Why Madara appeared, they had no idea, but his ghost seriously had too much fun transforming into Obito and haunting Kakashi. That creeper.

* * *

In the end, the Konoha 12, well, most of them, had a grand time at the festival, with the exception of a few wary Hyuuga, a crazy jinchuuriki, and some confused girls. The girls still had their sleepover though, don't worry.

* * *

Naruto awoke with a start, his little alarm chirping away. Strangely enough, he'd remembered to set it. Not that he needed it; Kakashi always knocked on his window when he was more than 20 minutes late….to the mission meeting. He vaguely felt like something strange had happened, but brushed off the tingling sensation lingering on his skin.

After all, today was the festival.

* * *

**I also don't own Naruto SD, or Road to Ninja the Movie**.

Obviously.

XD Well, sorry if that was no fun, made no sense, and confused you beyond the point of despair (OBITO!)

but...there it is. Sorry for late update. Might take longer now...

NEJITEN.


	28. And then he smiled

Sorry for the short hiatus! School and tests and finals and whatnot.

How was everyone's winter break? (if you had one)

Good, good.

Well, here's something surprisingly different, actually. It sort of just came out...

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because NejiTen is not canon, and Tobirama doesn't appear any more than Konohamaru does. Actually, less. Ha.

* * *

**Chapter 28: ****And then he smiled.**

* * *

Sleepless nights haunted him, a specter of misery even greater than that of death. It was then that he found how grief and suffering was a punishment even greater than death, and that he'd rather die than continue through this endless cycle. His reflection in the mirror was gaunt and pale, eyes bearing dark circles from cold, sleepless nights. At first, his stomach had growled insistently, but by the fourth day, the aching gnaw in his pit was reduced to a hum in the background. He accepted no food until the sixth day, when he made a breakthrough in his work.

"Tobirama, if you don't eat, I'm going to murder you," Mito hissed, eyes flashing red.

"I don't care. Kill me if you like."

"Tobirama, consider someone _other than yourself_ for once!" Mito shouted, grabbing him by the collar and shaking him. It was then that she realized how much weight he had lost in that week, from eating little to nothing—maybe an old loaf of bread he found in the old room's cabinets—and never sleeping. He was prominently thinner, though his muscle mass remained hanging onto his skeleton. If he would only eat a bit and come outside, everything would be back to normal…

"I _am_ considering other people, Mito," Tobirama answered flatly. But the look in his eyes was dead, and Mito knew then that nothing she did would change that.

"If you leave that girl alone, I will never forgive you," she spat in his ear. Turning on her heel, Mito exited the old study. She didn't once let her gaze linger on the old mahogany desk, a work of art created by hand. It held too many memories for her to face at the moment. She understood why Tobirama was secluding himself, but it didn't mean that his grief had to affect others. She herself had placed too much burden on others by holing up in her room, with only a few Senju relatives and Mariko dropping in from time to time. She had seen, then, that Mariko had lost far more weight that Tobirama had in a week. Nowadays, she systematically moved from place to place, whether it was taking care of her son or making the dinner that Tobirama never touched.

When the blue-haired little boy was tucked into bed, satisfied with his nighttime story about daddy and uncle, a kiss on the forehead to wrap up the ceremony, Mariko was found every day, without fail, in the kitchen, at a table set for four. Alone. Eventually, Mito joined her, and took away the fourth plate, but the third seat remained empty. Even before the Second Hokage locked himself away doing Hashirama-knows-what, the table had been more and more desolate, more and more lonely as the days crawled by.

One day, Mito softly suggested that they have a conversation, to brighten up the meal. Late as it was, it was still dinner, and a dinner conversation was called for. So, for the first time in a long time, Mariko spoke to Mito. The first and only words she dared utter to Mito, in fear of breaking down, saddened the Uzumaki greatly.

"I feel like he's dead, too."

* * *

The peace treaty between the Leaf and the Cloud was supposed to go off without a hitch. The infamous Gold and Silver Brothers weren't supposed to cause problems. One would think that the Uchiha would pull a coup; no, Ginkaku and Kinkaku's coup d'état disrupted the peace alliance between the nations, and left the two kage near death. In the end, their goal ultimately failed, seeing as they attacked their own kage and were forever looked down upon. The Second Raikage made amends with Tobirama, after both healed completely of course.

A panic-stricken Mariko had followed the first fleet of shinobi to Kumogakure, despite Mito's attempts to restrain her. She had burst into hysterics upon seeing Tobirama in the hospital, telling him that he wasn't supposed to die on her.

"I won't die on you, silly," he promised, words strained through labored breathing. She could hardly look at the portion of his chest that was blown away, despite the blankets covering his body.

"You weren't supposed to do anything stupid," she sobbed pathetically. "You're supposed to come back to me, and Mito, and our son, and our—" She cut off suddenly. Tobirama's interest was piqued, and he glanced over, weakly turning his head.

"Our…?" He prompted.

"Our daughter."

Tobirama stared at her, then. She was unchanged, after all these years, still the sweet, petite little beauty he had fallen in love with. Even with her runny, red nose and her puffy eyes, tear streaks down her face and presenting him with a blubbering mess, he hadn't forgotten that he had another person in life to whom he owed something. He couldn't just leave her, and he'd never intended to.

"Our daughter," he echoed contemplatively. His eyes dropped to her midsection, doubtfully. She had always been a slim girl, but he saw no indication of the bulge that would indicate pregnancy. With their boy, he remembered that they discovered his gender when she had a rather prominent, round belly at the time.

She nodded insistently.

"You know it's a girl already? How many weeks in?" he demanded quickly, wincing at the searing pain that tore across his abdomen when he tried shifting position.

"Stay still!" snapped Mariko, pushing him back down. He grunted in discomfort, immediately producing a horrified expression on the blunette's features. "I'm so sorry!"

"No, don't be. Just tell me about the baby," Tobirama insisted. "You know for sure it's a girl?" Just the thought of a daughter lifted his spirits.

"Mmmm, we don't know yet," Mariko admitted. Tobirama gave her an exasperated look; sometimes, the suspense was not good for his health anymore, especially with Mariko. "But I just _know _it, I _feel_ it. You know, the others have been telling me that sometimes you get these _feelings_, and it just _clicks_. I felt a click. This time, there's…"

Tobirama found comfort in her familiar rambling, and soon, at ease, fell asleep to the stories of Mariko and the new baby.

* * *

Tobirama returned home safe and sound, with both Mariko and their baby. The Senju celebrated the announcement of the new child, and the village rejoiced.

* * *

Then, _that_ day came around again. It had been little over a year since the date, and it seemed as if everyone had come to terms with the tragic event. The ones who had it the hardest, however, had not healed completely after a year. Tobirama, especially, lingered around the graveyard well past the memorial service, often camping out for lunch and dinner. Mariko and Mito dutifully joined him for dinner, contemplating the picturesque garden surrounding the First Hokage's grave.

_We brought your favorite today. May you rest in peace, Hashirama._

* * *

But this time was different. Last year, they had spent Hashirama's birthday at the memorial, a date merely a week after his passing. This year, Kirigakure had other plans in mind. In a message depicting the Mizukage's level of hatred towards Konoha, twenty Leaf citizens—not shinobi—were brutally massacred just outside the village. Shinobi were sent after the perpetrators, but they had disappeared into the rising mist. Suitable for mist shinobi.

"Kill them," was the order. The ANBU who stood in front of the Hokage trembled, and their knees quivered. "Kill them and gut them, then tie their heads in their intestines and string them back to Kirigakure. And _then_ we'll see what the Mizukage thinks."

The ANBU captain didn't dare raise his head. He'd spent many, many years with Tobirama, but at this point, he dared not make a smart remark. Even after both the Second, Third, Fourth, and possibly the Fifth passed their reigns, one glance at Kirigakure evoked a pit of emotion so deep he couldn't possibly name it.

But Danzo was silent. His team was silent. He watched their fingers quiver, and sweat roll down the backs of their necks. The black aura that Tobirama-sama emitted was beyond terrifying; it was the aura of a man who could kill Konoha's elite without even breaking a sweat. There was no defying this man.

The last time anyone had seen Tobirama so angry was when Mariko was kidnapped. Back then, even Hashirama hesitated upon the anger that Tobirama emitted. Konoha nearly thought the world was ending.

"They have disrespected the First Hokage, and for this they will—"

"Calm down, Tobirama." Konoha's most well-known source of authority, the other half of the First Hokage, Uzumaki Mito. "Deal with this properly. What would—"

"What would Hashirama do?! Is that _all you ever ask me?! _What my brother would think?! What _would _he think?!"

The four-man cell of ANBU in the room were terrified to the point of pissing their pants. No, they were in danger of melting straight into the ground, reduced to puddles of traumatized tears. Konoha's most brilliant, emotion-killed shinobi were quaking to their cores. The Second Hokage was a composed man. He was a composed man of knowledge, power, and leadership. To hear him scream in rage was a memory forever ingrained into their minds.

Outside the doorway, Team Tobirama, and the two others from Team Toka sank to the floor, glancing at each other with wide-eyed stares. Kagami swallowed hard, and Hiruzen tried to quiet his pounding heart. Homura clenched the cloth of his shirt too tightly in his fists, and Koharu's nails dig so deeply into her skin that she drew blood. Torifu was too terrified to even eat, and the sound of his food pack dropping to the ground caused all three of them to leap three feet in the air.

"Understand, Tobirama, that the Second Mizukage is trying _to provoke you on purpose_," Mito emphasized.

"I understand more than anyone, Mito," hissed Tobirama.

All four ANBU winced, then, and the five young shinobi outside cringed. They prepared themselves for the shinobi apocalypse.

One could almost hear the demon fox inside of Mito growling. She cast a menacing glare at the ANBU, who retreated respectfully to the doorway, exiting quietly.

"Did you just say that to me? Did you just tell me that I don't care about my own _husband_?"

"Mito—"

"Don't take back your words, Senju Tobirama! You've hurt far too many people already! If you want to hurt this village and this country, then go ahead! I'll be long dead by then, and I'll leave this damned beast for you to clean up!"

Mito slammed the door shut, storming past the ANBU, past the two teams, and outside. None of them were sure, but it was almost as if the stream of shine down Mito's cheek had been a runaway tear.

* * *

Kirigakure received nothing for an entire week. The assassins of the Mist rejoiced, cackling horrendously at Konoha's inept ability to deal with threats.

That is, until Tobirama himself walked into the Mizukage's office, stopping when twenty men armed with spears pointed their blades at his throat with the intent to decapitate him. Unfazed, Tobirama brushed past the soldiers, the same icy glare the ANBU had witnessed set on the guards. It seemed that the guards understood fear, because Tobirama's glare was accompanied by what they claimed to be the Death God. All twenty soldiers backed away abruptly, leaving the Second Mizukage to an interesting discussion later. The Hozuki grinned sadistically at the approaching Senju.

"How can I help you, Hokage-dono?" he smiled, teeth glinting. The edges of his lips curled up in a condescending smirk. Tobirama accepted none of this. To the Mizukage's surprise, when the Senju slammed his hand down on the desk, none of guards moved a muscle. He soon found out why.

All twenty guards fell down dead upon the impact of hand on wood.

"You will sign this peace treaty, or you will drop dead."

"Those are big words, Senju," mused the Mizukage thoughtfully. He choked on his words, though, when he felt his heart twinge. Whatever Tobirama was doing, it was not good news. "I'll consider, Senju, without the threats." Now, this was being diplomatic. The pressure on his chest lessened. "Good, good, let's talk."

"You are to make amends for the civilians you killed—"

"I think you just killed the same number of my guards, Hokage-dono—"

"Don't interrupt me."

Silence.

"You are to make amends, and then agree to a peace treaty with the Leaf. Until Kirigakure is eaten by Uchiha Madara and children grow wings, you are to abide by these rules. Appreciate your luck—if no one had interfered, you would've been dead the second I decided it in my comfortable bed at home."

The Second Mizukage decided then, that the Second Hokage would by far be the darkest Hokage of them all. The fact that he was summoned, generations later, by the Hokage's own forbidden jutsu, only fortified his opinions.

"Do you agree?"

A curt nod. "That doesn't mean I like you, Hokage-dono."

"I don't like you either."

"Ah, then we're on the same page. Good."

* * *

The Hokage had mysteriously disappeared, and when he returned, he casually told the ANBU to relax, which frightened them just as much as his earlier rage had.

"Treaty of Twenty Lives, he decided to call it," Tobirama informed Mito that afternoon. Mito stared at him incredulously, and read the document that stated the Konoha-Kirigakure Peace Treaty would stand under so-and-so conditions, and that should one village disregard this treaty, the consequences would be severe.

"What…did you _do_?" whispered Mito, reading all the documents. The Civilian-Shinobi Laws were revised? When did this happen?

"Nothing."

"Tobirama, you always had a tendency towards revenge. You are more easily provoked than your brother."

"So?"

"Please be careful."

Tobirama paused, deciding his next plan of action. His next project would be one carried out alone, and no one was to know. Mito's words, warm and forgiving, were tempting him to rethink his plan.

"I will, Mito." He would be careful. But it didn't mean he was going to backtrack; he'd already found enough information. All it would take was putting it together.

* * *

The night of the fifth day, Mariko knocked softly on his door. Their own bedroom was inhabited by one, sometimes two, when their little boy had nightmares, but nowadays, just Mariko. The bed was cold, and she often had trouble getting around with the growing baby. The time was close, and yet no one ever seemed to care. Only Mito kept a careful eye on her, on call at all times of the night and day.

No answer.

"Tobirama, I have some dinner, if you'd like. It's the Whirlpool cuisine we had last time, remember? I've got some of your favorite stuff in here, like—"

"I'm fine, Mariko." This was one time he didn't want to hear her run-on sentences and incessant chatter. He was so, _so_ close.

"Are you sure?"

No answer.

Mariko pushed into the room, then, and the sight that greeted her eyes nearly made her faint. There stood Hashirama, alive and well, a shimmering coffin just behind him. Tobirama was reveling at his work, but his expression fell when the "revived" Hashirama failed to respond. The soul. It must've needed a stronger link to the body, was his hypothesis. A final connection to the mind and emotion was needed to bring the real life back to Hashirama.

"Tobirama…"

Tobirama whipped around to see Mariko, who had dropped the platter of food. She ignored the fact that a bowl had broken upon contact with the floor, and now the ceramic shards had cut up her ankles.

"What are you doing?" she asked softly.

"Nothing. It's none of your concern, please," Tobirama told her urgently.

"None of my concern?"

"You didn't see anything," Tobirama said, taking her shoulders gently. Hashirama, or the shell of him, anyway, retreated into the coffin and disappeared. Mariko began to panic, shoulders shaking. "Mariko, calm down."

"You, Hashirama, w-what is that, Tobirama, explain, right now—"

"NOTHING."

"Don't yell at me!"

"I'm not yelling, Mariko, just understand—"

The terrified emotion reflected so clearly in Mariko's green eyes was tearing him from his secluded state. It was then that he realized she was in the middle of a panic attack. It was also then that he realized that he had missed the growth of his own daughter, and had lost track of all time. When was the due date? July…July 15th?

That was a week from today.

"Mariko, calm down, please," he begged. She shook her head violently and pushed him away, stepping on another shark of broken dishware in the process. And then she ran. How she ran, with such a big burden on her, Tobirama hadn't a clue. All he knew was that there was no way that was good for the baby.

He caught her before she fell.

He cradled her gently and rocked her like he would their child as she slowly came back to a stable state. The light layer of genjutsu he cast on her made him feel slightly guilty, but there was nothing he could do.

When Mito demanded to know what happened, the only explanation was that she dropped the bowl, cut her feet, and fainted from the pain. Tobirama received dubious looks, but the fact that he was outside that accursed room was enough for Mito at the moment.

"I'm disappointed, Tobirama."

The first words of his creation, and the first day of success. The sixth day of starvation and seclusion had brought Tobirama a wealth of new knowledge and a breakthrough in the jutsu. Here stood Hashirama, alive and well and colored with life.

But he wasn't at all happy to see Tobirama.

"Don't mess with death, Tobirama. I've told you far too many times," Hashirama said gently. Before him was his little brother, five years old again, asking why their mother wouldn't wake up. The tears that gathered at the corner of Tobirama's eyes spilled over, and he choked back a sob.

"I just wanted to see you, Hash," he managed to say in the middle of his chest-wracking, quiet sobs.

"I know, Tobi. But you know it's wrong, right? You were always more of a…dark kid, I remember."

"Uncle thought I was evil," Tobirama sniffled miserably, suppressing a dry laugh.

"But you're not. You love people, and people love you. You can't possibly be evil." The same words he'd told his ten-year-old brother, when their clan elder of an uncle, a strict, condescending man, had accused Tobirama of bringing blight and failure to the year's crops. It was always Tobirama, the standout albino cursed with a ghost's white hair and the pale skin of the dead. He would forever be marked by the three tattoos some of the older clan members branded him with: ghost child, the evil one.

"You're my little brother, after all." Hashirama tucked Tobirama's head to his chest, holding his brother close.

"I can't do it, Hash. I almost made a war," Tobirama croaked, his voice cracking slightly.

"Almost. But you didn't," amended Hashirama. "Who would've expected Ghost Boy to become a handsome, powerful Hokage? Think about it."

Hashirama, the sensible one. Hashirama, the powerful one. Hashirama, the gifted, blessed by the gods and the angels with the power to sprout life from his very hands, to make the crops grow and save them from famine. One would think that he should shun his counterpart, the ghost child who sucked the life essence from the animals and the plants, destined to bring suffering to the clan. But Hashirama embraced his younger brother, accepting of his rare traits and sad face. He was determined to turn that eternal expression of hopelessness into a smile. Even once.

"The most renowned Water Style User in the world. A master of time-space ninjutsu and the authority of the greatest village."

"I've destroyed it, Hash."

"No, you haven't. You're still alive, aren't you? Mito's alive, Mariko's alive, our children are alive. _Your daughter is alive_."

Tobirama looked up then.

"Live for her. I'm not about to come back and let you shrivel up in a corner like a demented mushroom," Hashirama said, provoking a small chuckle from his brother. But the deceased Senju took his brother's hands, then, and in all seriousness, gazed at him straight in the eye. "So I want you to do this for me now, Tobirama. Are you listening?"

Hashirama waited for the accepting nod, indication that Tobirama was willing to let go. He knew that if he let Tobirama go without full acceptance, nothing would change. This Edo Tensei would only tear him to pieces.

"I want you to seal this away with the seal Grandpa taught us, add a four-layer self-destructive barrier on top, and after that, one of Mito's Whirlpool seals to finish. You are to never fool around with death again, do you hear me?"

Tobirama nodded, understanding.

"Now, Tobirama, aren't you supposed to make me proud?"

Hashirama smiled, then, and Tobirama watched, partially in shock, as his brother began to fade. He barely choked out "Hashirama", but the older brother shook his head.

"I couldn't tell you that time, but," Hashirama whispered, putting his forehead to his little brother's.

* * *

"Goodbye, Tobirama. I love you."

* * *

Tobirama would have cried had Orochimaru not placed an emotion-killing seal in his back. He had really killed everyone. What had he done, why had he created this abomination of a technique? He killed his own student.

"That's not true," protested Hiruzen. "I was glad to see you guys, you know? I died protecting the village, just like you and the First did."

* * *

"This is the most evil of all jutsus," Muu spat. "Where's the Second Hokage, he should be the caster of the technique."

"I don't know, but I don't mind settling the score with him," the Second Mizukage chuckled, cracking his knuckles menacingly.

"The Second has been dead for a long time," the redhead Sand shinobi informed them.

"And who are you?"

"The Fourth Kazekage."

* * *

The healthy baby girl was born right on time, the middle of July. Tobirama had caught up well on lost time, spending hours at a time with a hand on Mariko's belly, feeling for kicks, or with his ear pressed close, listening for the baby. When the baby was born, Mito, carrying the baby, glared at Tobirama and said something about the mother seeing the child first—to which Biwako the nurse's maid sniggered at—and handed the child to Mariko. The blunette was the first to take in the newborn girl's features: A round, pink face, eyes squeezed shut as the child made her first cries of life, and a tuft of snowy white hair, baby soft strands that shone in the light.

"She's beautiful," Mariko murmured, and Tobirama came over then, circling both mother and child with his arms.

* * *

He always kept a picture of them hidden inside his armor. He gripped the photos in his fist so hard, he was sure he'd destroyed them. It was all right, though. He'd seen the smiling face of his son, soon to be a young man, and the happy laughter of his daughter, a girl whose smile shone brighter than any gem.

Warmth spread through his interior, red and slippery. He swallowed, and his throat balked at the metallic taste on his tongue, the taste of his own blood. He hardly heard or felt the rain; he only heard Mariko, whimpering quietly beside him. She said nothing, none of her usual rambling. She had understood well enough his words—words that he meant for sure this time.

_I'm fine, Mariko. Nothing hurts, so don't worry about me._

She hadn't told him to "hang on, Koharu and Saru a-and all of them will be back soon" or "don't talk, you'll be fine". She simply nodded upon his announcement, and cradled his head in her lap.

_Watch them grow up for me_.

The mud was cold and slick, the freezing dampness crawling past both his armor and the fabric of his clothes. Mariko, no doubt, was freezing, but she neither complained nor shivered. Her hands were warm around his face, holding him so gently. He felt a shuddering breath leave him, then, floating into the rainy, Kumogakure sky. He mouthed his goodbye silently, eyelids fluttering to a close.

* * *

_Goodbye, Tobirama. I love you_.

* * *

The warmth of Mariko's hands left him abruptly, and he was gently pulled from his lying position. He was cold, but not for long. A new set of hands reached for him, and lifted him higher. A familiar silhouette led the way, a comforting sight—gentle slope of his shoulders, covered by a cape of auburn hair, and a soft smile—to calm him.

_We both died young, Tobirama._

_ The sad story of the Senju brothers._

_ No, not sad. This is not a sad story._

Forest-brown eyes met garnet, and held.

_This is our legacy._

* * *

Tsunade stared at the portraits of her predecessors. She remembered clearly the day her grandfather had died, despite her young age. She also recalled the exact sequence of events upon her great-uncle's passing.

Word had reached Konoha at the speed of lightning, ironically. The messengers posted at the border of Lightning made haste to the village, breaking the all-time Kumogakure-Konoha mail transit record. Not that anyone really paid any attention to such an inane detail.

Shinobi as far as the eye could see lined up alongside the main gates of Konoha; more like they crowded in panicked groups, buzzing around the village edge.

They parted, however, for a blue-haired little boy holding the hand of his little sister. They walked silently towards the gate, hand-in-hand, fitted in the traditional black garb of funeral processions. And they waited, until their mother appeared beside them, taking each of their small hands in hers, leading the way to the burial site.

As was Hurricane tradition, she wore her wedding dress the entire day, her siblings on either side of her, carrying the long, excess tresses of the garment. Several shinobi turned away, unable to continue watching the solemn look of perseverance on Mariko's face. Her lower lip trembled, and tears threatened to spill over, but she walked straight and true, like the princess she was, with her husband's casket.

Six shinobi lined each side of the memorial. A portrait of Tobirama, and a myriad of white flowers, a sea of farewell roses and bouquets. Mariko, again by tradition, set down the only red rose to signify "never-ending love".

The six ninja bowed their heads as she passed, and even the shoulders of the men began to shake. One shinobi, regardless of the crying men and kunoichi beside him, kept a perfectly straight face. Until his name was called, he remained stoic and firm.

"Sarutobi Hiruzen," announced Mariko.

He turned, and the other five watched as he stepped up beside the ceremonial altar. The entirety of Konoha watched as Hiruzen, on the left of the Hokage's portrait, swallowed hard as he glanced over the silent children—his teacher's children. Then, daring to lift his eyes, he met Mariko's steady gaze. And then he realized that she had let the tears stream down her face, and her shoulders were racking with silent sobs. Someone had drawn Koharu away, for she was sobbing pathetically in front of the village, despite her usually stable emotional strength. Danzo covered his face with his hand, and Kagami looked at the ground, both of them with wet eyes and painful hearts. Torifu had long since fallen to his knees in despair, the gentle giant quivering with his tears. Homura took off his glasses and crushed them in his hands, almost angrily.

_If only I had volunteered_…ran through the minds of several.

_If only we'd called for backup earlier_, was the second.

_If only we'd reached him sooner_…

"Sarutobi Hiruzen," repeated Mariko, working up the resolve. From beside the table, she lifted the Hokage's hat and held it before her. A collective murmur ran through the villagers, among the sobbing and the mourning.

Mariko glanced down briefly, only to see the short, curt nod that Mito assigned her. Tobirama had died with a smile on his face; he had not made any mistakes.

_You are now the Village of the Hidden Leaf's…_

* * *

_ Third Hokage_.

* * *

It was an inauguration even quieter, heavier, and even graver than the last. The fact that Hiruzen's stepping up as Hokage was an event far more solemn that that of Tobirama's, spoke volumes. The First Hokage's death was the first tragedy, but for the Second's to follow in such a short time…

The Senju were as good as gone.

So the villagers cried.

* * *

They ran like the Death God was at their heels. Even if the Ambassador of Hell personally chopped off their arms, their legs, and their heads, they would still make it back in time. Hiruzen led a troop of 24 back-up shinobi, plus their original team of six, back to the site they'd left Tobirama. There had been an argument, a time-wasting argument. The one who ignited the dispute regretted it later. He'd demanded to know why they let the _Hokage_ of all people stay behind.

Simply answered, Hiruzen said "Because he's protecting the king."

* * *

_We'll make it_.

_We'll make it, we'll make it, we'll make it. There is definitely time left._

Of course, they didn't. An abrupt cry from Koharu broke Hiruzen's frantic mantra, and he looked up to see the twenty Cloud nin strewn across the field like broken puppets, drained of life and truly defeated. And then, in the center of it all, where the light seemed to glisten and form a halo, two fallen figures.

One, hair broken loose from its tie, sopping wet on her back in the downpour, singing a song they couldn't hear from such a distance. In her arms, a man they knew well, lying perfectly still. Hiruzen couldn't see his chest rising or falling, and he panicked.

_It's because I'm still so far away,_ he thought sensibly.

But his arms were folded across his chest, and he body was laid straight except for his head, which Mariko was still cradling. He noticed, then, that she had retrieved his wedding ring from his pack and had slipped it over her own ring. It was too big, but the way she clenched her fist over it with white knuckles, it wasn't about to go anywhere. Hiruzen recognized the action; Mito had taken Hashirama's ring when he died, as well.

They formed a semi-circle around the two. The silence that fell upon them was deafening, excluding the lightening rain. It had reduced to a small pitter-patter, but the only sound they noticed was what sounded like an angel's wings flapping once, twice, three times. A gentle breeze took the rest of the rain away.

"Tobirama-sensei…?" began Hiruzen, swallowing to keep his voice from cracking.

Mariko stroked her husband's forehead; it was cold, now. Then, she looked up past Hiruzen and smiled. The group of shinobi froze in terror, realization dawning on their faces as clearly as the sun emerging from the storm. Some cried out, and some fell to their knees, and the rest began to cry silently, but Hiruzen paused. He followed Mariko's gaze and looked up at the sky.

* * *

There he was, in the free, silver clouds, smiling over the world.

* * *

**_End._**

* * *

Ah, that was sad... ninja history incorporated with bad Naruto timeline and character death. And Edo Tensei.

No, this isn't the end of the story (the short-story series), just how Tobirama passed on.

At least, in the world that revolves around my head and tells me to procrastinate.

Comments? Like, dislike?

And I haven't named their children. I can't bring myself to... =_=

I might as well call them "Blue" and "Silver".

Haha.

Also! I might start a NejiTen ministory series. Maybe. =3= I don't write them well, so...

**Note: **Yes. I'm so confused, that I mess up both Naruto timeline and my own. cheers.

Have a great day, wherever you are! ~


	29. Koharu - To be an Actress

Yahoooo. So I had this idea, and decided it would be interesting to share!

That, and who watched Naruto 296? MITO APPEARED! Happy moment. Besides that, I have been SO busy this weekend, and any writing done was my terrible procrastination habits working their evil ways through. I haven't had my weekly dose of Fairy Tail OR Psycho-Pass... =3= (I barely managed to sneak Naruto in...) I realized that there were new chapters of both OPM and Oresama Teacher...gahhhh. Too much stuffff.

Anyway, here's the story!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because I totally would not have thought of ingeniously placing pictures of Grandpa Hashi, Great-uncle Tobi, Nawaki, and Dan in Tsunade's room. Yes. Naruto SD ftw. asdfghasdfjghasdf Nawaki and Tobirama looked SO cute.

As promised, something less depressing, and more lighthearted! :)

(I can't help but lapse into sad parts, sometimes, so sorry for that...get's better though, I promise!)

* * *

**Chapter 29: ****Koharu - To be an Actress**

The jingle of two bells, swinging from delicate red strings, was immediately picked up by keen ears. Determined eyes locked on the form of the great Tobirama, casually leaning against the doorframe of a shop, chatting with the grocer.

Observations:

_His hands are in his pockets - extra millisecond of time to steal bells before he moves/draws weapons._

_ Bells are hung on belt, right next to pockets - minus one millisecond._

_ His back is to us - extra millisecond._

_ He's talking to someone - extra millisecond._

_ He knows we're watching - minus one millisecond._

_ Homura is positioned _above_ doorframe, presence undetected as of yet - extra millisecond._

_ Koharu and Hiruzen are upwind of sensei - extra millisecond, maybe._

_ Hiruzen's new shoes are squeaky - minus two seconds._

_ Homura breathes loudly when nervous - minus two more seconds._

_ Koharu is distracted - minus one second._

_ Koharu is not distracted anymore - plus one second._

_ Oh look, there's Mariko-san - plus three seconds (of course). Thank you, Mariko-san._

"Three, two, one," Hiruzen said under his breath. A quick flick of his wrist, two fingers signaling in the air, and the three converged on their sensei. Teamwork was a go, but not quite fast enough.

"You three aren't in sync!" Tobirama threw them all off, chucking a bundle of asparagus at Homura above, rolling a shopping cart towards Koharu, and thirdly a disastrously plump tomato at Hiruzen. Hiruzen, luckily, managed to duck, but lo and behold, the red produce hit Biwako right in the face. She had only wanted to ask Hiruzen something, but _no_, fifteen-year-old boys _don't listen to anything girls say_. They just nod, nod some more, fail to comprehend (most of the time), and walk away. This time, Hiruzen ducked and let a tomato hit a girl's face. Oh, Hiruzen, the things you must learn.

"See that?" Tobirama accused. "You didn't even know Biwako was behind you!"

This sent Hiruzen into a flurry of apologies, while Biwako claimed she was fine, slopping the tomato mush from her face whilst remaining dignified. Hiruzen offered a napkin, which she gratefully accepted (and then returned to him upon finishing with it, to his dismay), and walked away proudly.

_Atta girl_, thought Koharu triumphantly. However, then she turned, and Tobirama was glaring at all three of them. They had been trying now, for three days in a row, to get the bells. The first time ever, they'd been useless, noisy genin who only argued, but somehow passed at the end, with Hiruzen tied to a post and stomachs growling all around. This time, they were determined to actually get the bells.

"Same time, tomorrow. Starts at 8:00am sharp," Tobirama told them. "Same as we've been doing, you have the whole day till sundown to get the bells."

Team Tobirama sighed dejectedly, gathering in a dejected circle and staring at the sun dipping below the tops of Konoha's buildings. The sun perfectly framed the Hokage Tower as it descended, and it was a magnificent sight, but no one except Mariko was admiring it. Poor Mariko. She was admiring the sun, Team Tobirama sulked, Biwako ran to one of the Nara girls venting in frustrated tears, and Tobirama himself was admiring his wife. No big deal. She wanted to say something like "wow, so beautiful", to which Tobirama would answer "yes, you are", but she decided it was _far_ too corny, and that she would burst out giggling should her husband answer like that. And he would look at her funny.

"We need a new battle plan," Homura stated flatly. "And it's not another plot, position, and attack together plan. We need something different, something more creative."

"I agree. Should we work in separate segments, somehow?" Koharu said.

"Guys, guys, I think I just hit Biwako in the face with a _tomato_," Hiruzen cried.

"Shut up, Hiruzen, she doesn't really care that you're stupid," Koharu snapped, before turning back to Homura. "Any ideas?"

"Um. Not really, sorry." The genius Homura paused, then, contemplating as deeply as a Nara would, but his mind strayed to the fact that he'd missed lunch, and was now thinking like an Akimichi.

"Hiruzen, get it together. Plans?" Koharu kicked Hiruzen's shin, Hiruzen yelped, and then he finally focused on the nonexistent plan. He glanced around the area, and caught site of his sensei, who was currently tucking the bells into his pocket for safekeeping until the morrow, the other arm slung around his precious little blunette.

_Light bulb, _Hiruzen sang inwardly. Well actually, he said it aloud, as his two teammates stared at him exasperatedly.

"Good to know your brain works," Koharu deadpanned. "Whaddaya got?"

"Awesomeness."

* * *

Surprisingly, Hiruzen's plan was quite good. It started out at 8:00, with the team pretending to formulate a plan somewhat near Tobirama, who was running yet another silly errand for Mito. Team Tobirama nearly ran into Uchiha Izuna—well, it was the other way around, really—but Izuna was quite friendly and asked them how their day was going. It was going well, so far, so Izuna continued on his way. Why a blind man was walking around Konoha without an escort—namely, his brother—was beyond the three, but they let the Uchiha be.

This was explained shortly after, seeing as Madara came tearing down the street, scaring the bejesus out of the poor Leaf citizens. Sometime down the avenue, he roared,

"IZUNA!"

And everyone flinched. But Team Tobirama secretly giggled and continued their plan.

Tobirama is at the ramen shop. Okay. Team Tobirama positioned at the barbecue restaurant, outdoor seating, having lunch, across from the ramen shop.

"Seriously, guys, he knows we're here," Hiruzen said in a half-whisper, half-urgent voice. (This, too, was part of their act.)

"Guys, we'll definitely get him today," Koharu stated firmly. "He _can't _escape this one. Okay, so, Homura, when you're at the vending stall…"

A few minutes later, and a clone of Hiruzen transformed into Koharu's mom happened to stop by.

"Ah, Koharu dear, I've been looking for you everywhere!" Hiruzen made a surprisingly accurate imitation of Koharu's mother. "Can you please pick up some of the take-out I ordered today? It'll be ready around 2:30. I have to make a sale downtown, you know, that ugly apartment I showed you?"

Koharu's mother, a former kunoichi retired into civilian life, was now a well-to-do real estate agent. Koharu agreed to her "mother's" request, and Hiruzen-as-Mom walked away contently.

And they were _sure _that Tobirama heard them.

Tobirama, now, was _sure_ that their plan would now have to revolve around that time—either because Koharu wouldn't be there, or because they had something planned. Between the former and the latter explanation, Tobirama had still to figure out.

* * *

2:30 rolled around quickly, and the plan commenced. Beforehand, Team Tobirama had carefully scrutinized Mariko's schedule that day—she was on a shopping spree with her girlfriends, and was not scheduled to be back until dinner. That, and the newly remodeled and extended Konoha shopping center was as far away from the Ninja Academy as possible (not that Hashirama hadn't planned in advance for kids like Shiro and Hiruzen, or anything, but he prided himself on his ability to foresee such potential hazards).

They had also employed the help of Aki to alert them, should Mariko suddenly appear.

Why? Simply because the plan involving Koharu transforming via Henge into Mariko, getting within close proximity of Tobirama, and while their sensei was preoccupied with Hiruzen and Homura tracking him, she would snatch the bells quickly and make her escape. Plan executed.

Hopefully, it would all go smoothly. Tobirama had no idea what Mariko was doing that day, only that she was hanging out with friends for an unspecified period of time. Appearing in the afternoon was perfectly normal. Poor Koharu had had an inner debate with herself, one half of her mentally protesting fiercely while the other end squealing with delight. What was she thinking?! It wasn't like Tobirama would really do anything to her besides talk, right? By then, most of their generation knew that Koharu had a sort-of, maybe, itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny crush on Tobirama. The infamous "Sensei-crush", it was called. Many girls had it, and they often met together to discuss random topics involving their hot teachers. Top secret information.

Anyway, by most of their generation, one should take notice that "most" did not include the ignorant, such as Hiruzen. Again, hopefully, this would not make any unforeseen bumps in the road…or so Homura prayed.

"You must give off unrealistic amounts of cute," coached Hiruzen. Koharu looked at him dubiously, eyebrows knitted. "I'm serious."

"You're serious," echoed Koharu, "but what is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, given that Mariko-san can kill a man with the amount of cuteness she emits, it is important that you try to create that level of cuteness," explained Hiruzen, as if it made the most sense in the world.

"And?" Koharu waved him on.

"Don't get nervous, he means," cut in Homura, sighing, "and act as in-character as possible."

"You didn't need to tell me that, Brains," Koharu snapped. Unknown to the two others, she had thought long and hard about her role-playing job last night. She recalled as many instances of Mariko that she could remember clearly, thought of typical body language, voice articulation, etc.

"Good luck, soldier." Hiruzen saluted ridiculously at Koharu, who made a face but lamely saluted back quickly. After all, they were a team, and even if Hiruzen could be arrogant, sometimes smart, but mostly stupid, she was subject to his friendly demeanor and cheerfulness. Sometimes, it was hard to refuse his kindness; she would never admit it, but if he tried, Hiruzen was charismatic, caring, and enjoyable to be around. But, she would never admit it, until his death many decades later, and only then, it was to Homura, who sipped his tea solemnly after the funeral reception. Homura, of course, had always known. They loved Hiruzen with all their hearts.

"Gah! There he is!" hissed Hiruzen, now, and their plan rolled into action.

They waited a good amount of time so that nothing was suspicious, and Koharu disappeared on her "mother's" assigned task, looping around downtown Konoha to reappear at the southern end of the market road, as Mariko. Homura and Hiruzen positioned themselves accordingly, knowing full well that one Wednesdays, Tobirama always stopped at the baker's special offer market stand to get something for the family. The fake plan they'd discussed earlier, with Homura waiting at the "vendor" fit perfectly, seeing as they'd placed Homura subtly disguised a few stands down.

"Ah, Tobirama-sama! Back again?" said the cheerful old man with the funky, curly mustache that the kids loved. He had an interesting accent, somewhat Grass Country, but also with the snippy lilt of Kirigakure. There was an entire conspiracy that he was really a crazy Kiri nin come to kill them all. Then again, that was the conspiracy behind everything, from Shiro getting a cold, to Aki dropping a penny, and from Koharu's time of the month to Mito losing her hairbrush (which was quite catastrophic, by the way). So, the idea of crazy Kiri nin killing people was out of the question…or was it?

"I am, Mr. Mill. How are you and your wife?" Tobirama conversed amicably.

"We are well, good boy, we are well," chuckled Mr. Mill. He produced a few specialty cakes, breads, pastries, and plenty of other delicious articles he somehow fit behind his stand.

"How are the kids? And grandkids, I hear?"

"They are doing very well, my boys are. And I have a beautiful grandson, Hiruko." Mr. Mill smiled and nodded, seemingly distracted by his happy family thoughts. He quickly returned to Konoha, however, and asked, "What would you like today, my boy?"

"Whatever you recommend," Tobirama answered simply.

"Same answer as usual," Mr. Mill said, "Never any favorites?"

"They're all our favorites," laughed Tobirama pleasantly.

Cue, "Mariko".

Observations:

_Tobirama notices "Mariko" right away - plus 1 point._

_ Homura's fake mustache is itchy - minus 1 point. _

_ No, Homura is not dressed up as Mr. Mill - no points._

_ Tobirama's eye flickered to his upper right, he has spotted Hiruzen laying under a tarp on an under-construction building's roof - minus 1 point._

_ However, he is again distracted by "Mariko" - plus 1 point._

_ Homura sneezed - minus 1/2 a point._

_ "Mariko" is within contact distance of Tobirama - plus 1 point._

"Ah, Mariko, you know Mr. Mill," Tobirama said, suspecting nothing at first. Inwardly, he was trying to decipher the meaning of his team's actions. At the current moment, he had no idea where Koharu was, but then again, she had always been better at concealing her presence. He looked harder. Hiruzen was easy; the tarp was shifting. Homura, too, was far to noticeable, seeing as he sneezed rather characteristically, and that sneeze just now gave him away.

_They intend on jumping me again,_ Tobirama thought with a snigger to himself. _How many times do they have to do that to figure out it doesn't work? It's the same as yesterday._

"Yes, we love your cakes and stuff," Koharu said. She smiled sweetly, and tried not to let her blush show through when Tobirama beamed fondly down at her. She also tried extremely hard not to squeak when Tobirama's left hand came down to rest on her shoulders, fingers slipping to the nape of her neck and running through her currently blue hair.

_Calm down, nothing's happening, relax, relax Koharu_, she told herself sternly. Her shoulders remained loose and confident, and she sidled closer to Tobirama to seem more comfortable. Her main concerns included blowing up and blowing out the jutsu, revealing herself to Tobirama—earning a bewildered expression in the process—or Tobirama secretly knowing, and toying with her just for giggles.

When Tobirama paid for the wrapped goodies that Mr. Mill packaged up for them, his hand moved to the small of "Mariko's" back to guide her through the town center.

"I think you'll like this one," he commented.

"Why?" she asked coyly.

"It's a surprise," he said, smiling. She hadn't seen the cake that Mr. Mill had chosen. Meanwhile, the back of his head registered and Homura and Hiruzen were tailing him. Where was Koharu? He had to suppose that he was moving in a predicted direction, and that Koharu was lying in wait.

"Tell me," Koharu insisted. She was surprised that her voice remained so smooth and natural. She'd nearly _purred _that last line out, shocking herself. Her friends would giggle and tell her that she was more seductive than she presumed. And then, Koharu proceeded to scream at herself in her head, her inner self flailing violently at just the _ideas_ that began popping around.

"You'll have to wait and see," Tobirama answered, his voice dropping to a lower, huskier tone. Koharu nearly died, then, and only her kunoichi's survival instincts kept her from fainting on the spot. Her gut pulled her back to her senses; _Don't think, just act, don't think, just act_. Words that didn't really go together, but still, it was working for her.

Tobirama noted the furtive glances that Mariko was throwing towards him, and was wondering if she had something in mind. He also kept in mind that Homura had switched outfits just now, and was weaving through connected stores in different outfits, pausing at random intervals. Hiruzen, on the other hand, was holding the steady trail, maintaining his cautious distance from Tobirama.

"Do you think Mito would like me to buy something at the local deli today?" Tobirama commented.

"Well, did she mention anything about it?" answered "Mariko".

"I'm sure she'll just yell at me later," muttered Tobirama. "Anyway, I have to go check on some problems at the Akimichi place, so I'll see you later."

"Okay—" Koharu nearly choked on the end of her words, because Tobirama had leaned down to kiss her. His lips were nearly on hers, and she began to panic. Behind her, Homura and Hiruzen nearly freaked out because Koharu had frozen abruptly.

_The bells! _Koharu thought frantically. Her hand casually lifted towards Tobirama's waist as he came closer. His lips were so close, she could feel his breath tickling her chin, and their noses nearly brushed. Her hand reached for the bells…

Tobirama smoothly changed path from lips to her right ear, passing up the kiss to whisper in her ear:

"I found you, Koharu."

At that moment, his right hand slapped away the hungry fingers reaching for the tempting bells, which jingled lightly at the movement. Tobirama leapt away quickly, taking a light perch on top of a store roof. Koharu, still transformed as Mariko, stared at him, mouth slightly agape. When the Henge dispersed, leaving Koharu as herself standing in shock, jostled back and forth by afternoon market goers, Tobirama smirked.

"Not bad, guys," he called. "That plan was quite impressive, you almost had me."

"DANG IT!" yelled Hiruzen, leaping from his cover and dashing at Tobirama. He made an effort to get the bells, but those efforts proved fruitless. The white-haired Senju easily dodged and hopped away casually, throwing a few warning kunai at Homura, who sneezed through his fake mustache again.

"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!" continued Hiruzen, picking up kunai and throwing them back. Tobirama grinned.

"Mariko usually picks up faster than that, sorry," he laughed, waving nonchalantly before skillfully blending into the crowd as they entered the busiest portion of town.

Koharu ran to the nearest alley and sat down, curled up in a ball, and hid her face so that no one would see her blush.

* * *

"Um. What did you guys _do_ to her?" demanded Biwako. The sharp snap in her voice made Hiruzen shift uncomfortably, partially because he was still worried about the tomato thing.

"Well, we made her…" Homura went on to explain their bell test strategy, and Biwako made a face. Kagami sniggered, earning a threatening dozen of shuriken aimed at his face from Koharu's weapon pouch, while Shiro shook his head. Surprisingly enough, Aki sighed and Torifu munched on some potato chips (which he offered, but Koharu declined politely).

_She must be really embarrassed to turn down these chips_, Torifu thought vaguely.

"C'mon, Koharu, cheer up! Our plan failed, so what?" Hiruzen tried. He failed however, to see the real cause of Koharu's unhappiness.

"You're an idiot," one of Koharu's friends told him bluntly.

"Whaddaya mean? Hey, Koharu, it wasn't that bad, right? He even said it was a good plan—"

Koharu reached up and slapped Hiruzen across the face harshly before tucking herself back into her position, knees drawn to her chest, head down, arms wrapped around her body.

"Che. Stupid," Danzo muttered.

"Wait, am I missing something?" Hiruzen glanced around questioningly. Everyone groaned at his ignorance.

"Yes," answered Biwako. "You're missing _everything_."

"Help?" Hiruzen turned to Homura.

"Can't help you here," Homura said. He received a quick glare from Koharu, who had sworn him to eternal secrecy on the touchy subject of girls' crushes. He himself had never said a word, she knew, but news of crushes, no matter how subtle, circulated around the girls without fail. Gossipy girls, too. It didn't matter though, because at the moment, the idiot was not Homura, it was Hiruzen, who was still trying to figure out what happened.

"Wait, wait, did I do something wrong? Did Tobirama-sensei do something wrong?"

Another slap to the face.

"Ow, Koharu…"

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to turn your face into something unrecognizable," the girl growled. Team Toka backed away slowly, as did Biwako's trio.

"This shall be your homework for the weekend," sighed Homura, pushing his glasses up his nose and wiping a bead of sweat off his brow.

"Wait, Homura, wha—"

* * *

"You know, Koharu, I always wondered why you acted funny around Tobirama-sensei." A glance at the four portraits on the wall, three of the four subjects deceased, the third sitting on the old couch fondly visiting nostalgic moments in life.

"And you never figured it out," she answered, "did you?"

"You had a crush on him, didn't you?"

"I'm surprised you didn't pick up on it sooner."

"But Homura, you did, right?"

"I was sworn to secrecy." A dry chuckle.

"Those were good days," she said softly.

* * *

Three months later, Tobirama and his brother would return to take their beloved Hiruzen to the afterlife. Death by student using your teachers—how terrible.

* * *

"I'm home!" sang a familiar voice, accompanied by the quick pat-pat of footsteps as she ran down the hall. A head of messy blue hair appeared in the doorway, announcing Mariko's arrival.

"How was shopping?" asked Mito.

"Fun," replied the happy little blunette.

"Wanna hear a funny story?" offered Tobirama, who was helping Hashirama flip through the last few documents of the day at the table. (Mito scolded them about doing work at the dinner table, but relented when Hashirama threw a pleading glance and gestured that they were nearly done.)

"Sure," Hashirama agreed as Mariko hung up her jacket and sat down at the table.

"So today, Saru and the team came up with this plan…"

* * *

Why did I get so depressing in random parts? /shot

My cat meowed. (You totally needed to know that).

Tobiramaaa! :)

Questions, comments, burning concerns?!


	30. Chicken Nuggets and Stories

Ahhh, I don't know what happened here.

Started with a strange idea, and became something even stranger. It's story-ception again, sorry guys.

More random than Hyuugaception, and certainly not as deep. =3=

But here you have it.

I'm...seriously not sure what this is. lol.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, as usual. Neji, come back to life! TOBIRAMA AND HASHI, YOU TOO! (errr...)

30th chapter, whoo! . . . too bad such a milestone turned out to be a weird story...

* * *

**Chapter 30: ****Chicken Nuggets and Stories**

People have odd quirks, idiosyncratic habits that make them unique. Let it be known that shinobi tend to come in all colors, all sizes and ranges, and certainly, with all sorts of funky habits.

For example, there once was an Iwagakure shinobi, who died by the hand of a vengeful, at long last completed Raikiri, who enjoyed playing his fiddle prior to every mission. It was almost a religious act, to the point where he believed that his old fiddle would bring success to Iwagakure. It was too bad that such a skilled jounin was to die by the hand of a thirteen-year-old, silver-haired Konoha brat after killing his goggled Uchiha comrade. "Killing" being the trick word, here.

Anyway, that was more of a routine rather than a habit. Habit, in this sense of the word, meant a physical or verbal tic that often provoked strange reactions. Sometimes, it was a strange urge that nudged at you until you gave in. Anything strange, really, was categorized as a shinobi's odd quirk.

A great display of a strange habit would be Kagami, who would force himself to start hiccupping in stressful situations, thus allowing himself to flee. Sometimes.

Another was Mito, but her habit was more of a craving. She demanded Tobirama's famous Banana Bread, capital B's and all. She also ended her sentences with strange endings, suspiciously similar to Kushina's "dattebane" and Naruto's "dattebayo". That, and she accidentally hit things too forcefully. (She claimed them to be accidents, at least.)

Madara often found to urge to dance, but he'd never tell anyone.

Izuna liked polishing wood, particularly bows, arrows, and instruments.

Hiruzen found solace in pulling pranks. Well, that was just Hiruzen.

Koharu liked painting, actually.

When Biwako had nightmares, she went to the hot springs.

Nightmares. Horrible things, really. But the strange thing about nightmares, is that they affect everyone differently. Mariko, for example, seldom had nightmares, only pleasant dreams. However, when she was plagued by traumatic memories or experiences, she tended to curl up and not move for a long time. Naturally, this worried Tobirama, and he assured her that no matter what, he would always be there to hold her and comfort her.

This, in turn, led to one bright, cheerful day in Konoha, when ANBU captain Danzo and his top team knocked on the Hokage's door, and were allowed to enter, but what they saw stunned them. It was truly a strange sight.

A blue-haired girl, curled up in the lap of their Second Hokage, eyes tightly closed, arms wrapped around the Senju's neck.

"Uh—"

"Eyes on me, soldier."

All five pairs of eyes snapped up to focus on Tobirama, and Tobirama only. It was quite hard, considering the blunette sitting in his lap. One of the ANBU gestured slightly at Mariko, a kind motion, as if to ask if she was all right. Tobirama, however, answered no questions, and only shook his head sternly. The ANBU were to completely overlook the bundle of blue curled like a cat on the Hokage's lap. Easy as pie. Not.

"I have news of the border town by…" Danzo reported his report, struggling to stop meeting Mariko's gaze, now that her eyes had opened and she was scanning the room cautiously.

"…the western Suna-Konoha patrols, and…"

There was a thunderous crash, and nearly everyone winced, and the five ANBU whipped round to find the door completely devastated. One little Tsunade, blonde and boisterous, stared at her own hand incredulously. Jiraiya laughed nervously, and Orochimaru's eyes went the size of saucers.

"Oops?" squeaked the little girl. She ran over to Tobirama, and poked her great-uncle's leg. He turned so that he and Mariko were facing Tsunade. The young Senju, in return, vaulted onto Mariko's lap, landing an extra weight onto both of them. Tobirama grunted uncomfortably, but remained silent.

Moments later, Hiruzen sprinted into view, panting and heaving.

"Sorry—Tobirama-sensei, we—just—uh—w-what's going on?" The future Third Hokage gestured at the scene before him, earning him a glare from Danzo and bewildered shrugs from the rest of the ANBU. "Group hug?"

"No," Tobirama deadpanned.

* * *

"I _swear on my great-uncle_ that I _didn't do it on purpose_," Tsunade hissed. Ten years old, and sassier than her mother and grandmother combined.

"Sure you didn't," Toka replied nonchalantly, not really paying attention. She was slightly worried that the young girl had taken a bit too much after her grandmother, inheriting that insane, inhuman strength that came "accidentally". She would have to learn to control her power, this girl.

Suddenly, Tsunade's eyes widened, and she grabbed for a glass of water.

"Aundie, you diden thay dis wath—" Tsunade took another swig of water, and managed to squeak, "so spicy!"

"Oh, I didn't? I'm pretty sure I told you before you grabbed it, but you ate it anyway," Toka answered. Too bad for Tsunade that last night's meal was spicy. Toka wasn't about to change anything just because this was her cousin's granddaughter; she was too solid in her ways.

"Auntie, someone's coming." Tsunade observed the obvious, because there was a thundering of footsteps emanating from the hall. Tobirama burst into the room, half-dressed, and soaked in…bubbles from a bubble bath?

"TOKA!" he hollered, even though they were now in the same room.

"WHAT!" she screamed back at him, out of habit. They'd had these yelling conversations ever since they were little, and Hashirama always told them that either their voices would go out, or everyone's eardrums would burst.

"WHO LET THESE GUYS IN?!" demanded the albino Senju, slapping the sliding door aside to reveal a giggling Jiraiya, and an amused Orochimaru. Orochimaru wiggled his eyebrows. Tsunade wanted to giggle with them.

"I DON'T KNOW, WHAT HAPPENED?!"

"LOOK AT ME, TOKA!"

"I SEE YOU, YOU IDIOT!"

"THEY FREAKING RAN THE DAMN BUBBLE BATH! WHEN DID WE GET BUBBLE BATH?!"

"I DON'T KNOW, ASK MARIKO!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE IS!"

"GO FIND HER, YOU NUGGET HEAD!"

At this, Tobirama paused and made a face. Toka hadn't called him Nugget Head since they were ten years old, just like the three kids in their company. He was tempted to laugh, but a blob of foamy bubbles plopped down on his face from his hair, obscuring half his face.

"Uncle, you look like Santa Claus," Tsunade piped up.

"Ho, ho, ho," growled Tobirama, vigorously swiping away the bubbles. He went back to yelling. "WHERE'S MARIKO?!"

"LAST I SAW, SHE WAS CURLED UP ON YOUR LAP LIKE TENZOU THE CAT, STUPID!"

"Tenzou the cat?"

Toka could've physically placed a light bulb atop Tobirama's head, and it would've lit, with the _ding_ of a bell accompanying it. The Second Hokage's mouth formed an "o", and then drifted quietly out of the room towards the courtyard.

Everyone stared at the door, all sorts of thought processes occurring. Toka, for one, shook her head, mumbling about another Ghost-boy incident, which none of the children really understood. Orochimaru's eyes widened as he blandly stated that there must be some mental jutsu that he had not learned yet. Tsunade wanted to chase after her great-uncle, and Jiraiya, lastly, wanted to ask Tobirama to put on a cool pair of shades and disco with him, for the white-haired people are the coolest.

Ah, Jiraiya.

* * *

History of the Nugget Head: a bedtime story.

_It was a fine, bright day on the western plains of the Fire Country, several miles outside of what would soon become Konoha. About twenty miles inland from the coast, was the Senju camp. The children played and the adults worked, always keeping an eye out for rogue clan movements, always wary of even the settled clans, and always on the lookout for village requests. There was one boy, however, that was always alone, except when his brother around. Gifted with snow-white hair and pale skin, red eyes more scarlet that the Sharingan, and a talent for Suiton jutsu, Tobirama sat on the stump of an old tree, drawing a map in the dry soil._

_ "Whatcha doin'?" drawled a tomboyish young girl, her hair thrown up into a messy topknot that she refused to allow her mother to redo._

_ "Drawing a map," replied the albino boy, a ten-year-old with a creative mind, a good work ethic, and more than enough of a reputation for being mischievous. No one could really blame him; some in the community shunned him, branded him as a demon for his unnaturally white features._

_ "Of what?" asked the girl, leaning over him. "That looks like a chicken."_

_ "Does not," replied the boy, offended. "This is the map of a village Hashi and I are going to make."_

_ "A village? You mean, like the Fire Country capital?"_

_ "No, like a ninja village."_

_ "…Ninja village?" The girl paused, then snorted with laughter. She didn't ridicule the idea of a ninja village, but rather, its shape. "A ninja should have a brilliant village, not that chicken-nugget shaped thing in the middle!" She gestured to what Tobirama had tried to make a mountain._

_ "What do you mean, chicken nugget?" he demanded, frowning at his mountain. Landscape was important for village-building, he'd decided. He was going to have a beautiful village for the people to enjoy._

_ "Chicken nugget blobs, just like you," said the girl, laughing._

_ "That's not funny, how am I a chicken nugget?!" The boy vaguely recalled that the girl's mother often made small chicken meals for the younger children who whined about having to eat off the bone, the silly things._

_ "Shaped just like my Mama's chicken nugget, you are," the girl justified. "A little wacky in the head, mushy in some parts, but not bad, you know?"_

_ Tobirama wondered if that was a compliment. Then, he said,_

_ "Chicken nuggets don't have heads."_

_ "The chicken, I meant."_

_ Tobirama looked at her skeptically, and she angrily slapped his shoulder. He winced at the forcefulness of her blow._

_ "I heard them calling you Ghost Boy," she said softly._

_ "I don't really care anymore," Tobirama sighed, going back to his messy map drawing. A squirrel had approached him, pattering all over his roads and buildings, before snatching an old acorn and scuttling around the back of the tree stump._

_ "Your face is like a chicken nugget, too. Shows everything."_

_ "Okay, that one made no sense."_

_ "Sure it did! You can tell from a chicken nugget's outside whether it'll taste good or not. The crispiest, most fried ones are sorta charred, most of the time. At least, Mama's are."_

_ Tobirama raised a white brow._

_ "Seriously! You show everything on your face. You sort of turn dark when you're not happy," the girl stated flatly, hands on her hips now. Tobirama noticed, then, that she had bruises all along her arms, scarred knees, and a cut across her cheek. Her nose had been broken once, and set again, but the slight bump along the once-straight bridge revealed that the otherwise prim nose was marred by fighting. She'd always been a fighter, this one. Never afraid to throw a punch, Tobirama remembered._

_ "I do not."_

_ "You know, you can be both," the girl decided, changing her mind. "You can be dark and crispy like a flavorful nugget—and hey, those ones can be bad too, sometimes—but also bland, like the ones that aren't cooked all the way."_

_ "Bland?" Tobirama made a face, protesting the comparison to food. It was making him hungry, but his parents weren't back from their scouting duties yet. He couldn't ask his uncle, because his uncle claimed to be busy all the time, and he couldn't ask his aunt, because she shunned him just as all the others did. Hashirama hadn't been home since early that morning._

_ "Yeah, bland. Can I call you Nugget Head?"_

_ "Hey, didn't we just say that nuggets don't have heads?"_

_ "Yeah, but _you _resemble a nugget!"_

_ Tobirama glowered, and the girl laughed, a coarse, grating sound that rebounded like a horse's whinny. This was a girl that didn't giggle politely, like any other Senju girl. Tobirama decided that he liked her. He'd met her a few times before, but never really _met_ her._

_ "I'm Toka," she said, holding out her hand. Tobirama shook her hand firmly. The two ten-year-olds consolidated a new friendship, one between cousins that would bound into blood and war without hesitation._

_ "Tobirama," replied the white-haired boy._

_ "Don't be afraid to yell at me," said Toka mysteriously. "I'm often hard of hearing."_

* * *

_ "LEFT, TOBIRAMA, LEFT!"_

_ At the command, the albino ducked to his left hand side, tucking himself into a compact ball and rolling away safely. The enemy missed him, the blade of his long sword cutting nothing but air._

_ "TOKA BEHIND YOU!"_

_ The Senju woman spun on her heel and let her fist collide with the enemy's face, a sickening crack displacing his nose and cracking his jaw. She and Tobirama came back to back, squaring off with the five remaining opponents._

_ "I GOT THE LEFT, YOU TAKE THE RIGHT!"_

_ "HEY NOW, I'M TAKING THE BIG GUY."_

_ "NO, NO YOU'RE NOT."_

_ "WHERE'S HASHI WHEN YOU NEED HIM?!"_

_ "HOW WOULD I KNOW?!"_

_ The enemy shinobi ignored this loud exchange and attacked. One got behind Tobirama and gave him a good shove, hoping to throw him onto his partner's knife._

_ "Toka—"_

_ "SPEAK UP!"_

_ "TOKA, THEY'VE GOT A LIGHTNING USER!" Tobirama elbowed the man behind him, and kicked the one in front, just as the revealed Raiton shinobi came down with an bright, shocking jutsu emanating from his sword. Tobirama himself used mainly Suiton, so he had to be careful not to allow his jutsus to be used against him._

_ "THINK, IDIOT! WHERE'S HASHIRAMA?!"_

_ "I DON'T—"_

_ "Oh will you two be _quiet_?!" Arms of wood came arching around them, tree branches extending from their natural positions to encompass the enemy group. Tobirama was swept up into the arms of what looked like a tree giant, while Toka was plucked up in the fingers of its seventh arm. The face of the gargantuan beast was not a face at all, but rather, a mass of leaves and an exasperated brunet among its limbs. _

_ "HEY, NUGGET HEAD, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT HASHIRAMA WAS HERE?!"_

_ "I DIDN'T KNOW!"_

* * *

"And that, my dear, is how your great-uncle came to be known as Nugget Head. To me, at least." Toka patted Tsunade's little shoulders lightly. The little blonde stared at the woman, her expression a mixture of slight disappointment, disbelief, and an unsatisfied frown. It wasn't even worthy of being called a bedtime story...plus, Toka had detailed the events during dinner, so what was the point?

"That's silly," she said matter-of-factly.

"But true," added Toka smoothly.

"You're just like Grandpa," complained the ten-year-old. Come to think of it, Tsunade was about the same age they'd been around that time. Toka smiled at the thought. A sassy up-and-coming girl, with the insane strength of an Uzumaki…or, of Mito, at least. What an interesting future she would have.

"Me? Like Hashirama? How?" Toka smiled gently, cleaning up the plates.

"I ask for a story, but then they turn out weird," complained Tsunade.

"Can't help it, Tsu-chan. We just tell them like they are."

"Maybe one day, I can tell _my_ grandkids stories, right?" Tsunade beamed. "And they'll be _interesting_ ones, not some weird stories about lonely kids, chicken nuggets, or those funny ones that end suddenly. I think yours had all three."

"Sure, sure," Toka laughed, waving a hand. Tsunade took this as her evening dismissal, and ran off to find her teammates.

* * *

"Why are you in that tree?"

"I don't know, I woke up, and I was here."

Tobirama and Mariko had a staring contest for a couple of minutes, before Tenzou the cat leapt down from the willow's branches and nearly clawed out Tobirama's eyes.

* * *

"Um, what was the point of that story?" asked the whiny little blonde kid with mysterious whiskers on his face.

"You asked me to tell a story, didn't ya?" the white-haired man replied, patting his godson on the head fondly. "I told ya one."

"It was…pointless." Naruto narrowed his eyes at his teacher, who shook his head and shrugged.

"I tell'em like they are," he defended, brushing some dirt off his trousers so that they could be on their way. The short blonde in front of him mimicked the action and cheekily dusted his blue and orange jacket off. "You say I'm a perverted quack, but I see you copying me all the time."

"Am not."

"Oh really?"

"Really." Naruto stuffed his hands in his pockets, lower lip jutting out in defiance.

"It's not a bad thing, really, I used to copy the man I admired."

"I don't admire _you_, you pervy sage."

"Ha!" Jiraiya laughed, then, throwing his pupil the grin that would get him punched through five walls. Tsunade always scowled when he smiled that way. Maybe because the white hair and the red tattoos on his face, in combination with the lopsided smile, reminded her of her great-uncle, in those rare moments of his Hokage reign when he risked a chance smile and cracked a joke.

* * *

"Where's Kakashi-sensei?"

"I…don't really know, -ttebayo."

"He's right here." Sai pointed at the forest. They all gave him a strange look, but then, Sakura did a double-take and her jaw dropped.

There was their sensei, perverted novel clasped in his hands, curled up in a tree.

"Kakashi-sensei, why are you in that tree?" Naruto asked, his nose curling up in laughter.

"Hmm? Oh, it's you guys." Kakashi shifted in the tree. "I don't know, I woke up, and I was here."

A cat with a bow on its ear dashed out of the tree, yowling, and nearly taking out Naruto's eyes.

* * *

"I FIGURED IT OUT!" yelled the one-eyed boy. "THE SECRET TO YOUR STORY!"

"And what would that be?" rumbled the old man, ignoring the swirl-face doing the Gangnam Style dance beside him, and the grassy-topped Senju clone that was singing about exchanging phone numbers.

"Bakakashi is actually the great grandson of—"

* * *

"Wait, wait, back up, nee-san." Nawaki held up his hands. "Where's this last part coming from?"

"Mmm, I'm not sure, but Jiraiya said that a big frog told him a prophecy, and—"

"Frog? Nee-san, you okay?" Nawaki waved his hands in front of his sister's face, concerned for her health. She'd been acting funny lately, and mostly blamed it on that man with the long, silver hair, that stole his nee-san away time and time again. "Should I go get Grandma? I think you're sick."

"I'm _not sick_, Nawaki," sighed Tsunade, exasperated. "Besides, Grandma would totally understand what I'm going through."

Nawaki arched a brow skeptically, recalling the day that Dan had bought flowers for Tsunade, but Grandma Mito had opened the door, and he'd turned into a blubbering mess. Grandma had looked doubtful then, too.

"Grandma worries for you, too," Nawaki deadpanned. Tsunade glared.

"No, she gets it," Tsunade retorted. Mito had curiously watched the two interact one day, and then pulled her aside and whispered in her ear.

"Did you see him smile at you?"

"No."

"Don't let him know," Mito said secretively, smiling.

"Why not?"

"If he's anything like your grandfather, he'll become a babbling mess if you catch him smile next time, and turn red as a tomato."

"Grandpa? Blushing? Grandma, that's hilarious."

Mito patted her granddaughter's back and urged her along.

* * *

"You woke up, and you were in a tree?" Tobirama shook his head at his wife, who shrugged helplessly.

"Hey, at least I'm not the one with a bubble bath beard." She giggled, and pointed at his still dripping form, complete with the bubbles that Jiraiya had set off in the tub meant for giving Tenzou a bath.

"Oh, just drop it."

"Nah, it's pretty funny. Shall I show Hiruzen?" Mariko opened her mouth to yell across the courtyard, as if the monkey was indeed on the premises, when Tobirama leapt up into the branches of the tree and clamped on bubbly hand over her mouth.

"Scream, and I'll tickle you."

"That'll make me scream," she protested, before making a face and spitting out the soapy suds. "Ew, soap."

Tobirama just glared. He highly doubted that she'd just randomly woken up in a tree.

"I'm going to go ask your brothers what it is with you and sleeping in weird places," he muttered, stalking away when Mariko refused to give up with the bubble bath teasing.

And then, after that, he failed at inconspicuousness.

"Sensei?"

Without being called, Hiruzen had arrived on cue, and he was suppressing a laugh.

* * *

"Play that song one more time," said one of his teammates. The man obliged, and put the fiddle to his chin, right hand ready with his old, trusty bow.

"We're going to protect this bridge," agreed another teammate. "And then we'll all go home at the end of the week to our wives and children."

Left hand poised at the strings, bowstrings resting lightly on the instrument.

"To victory," said the team captain. The fiddler smiled, and began his song.

* * *

There are things like odd quirks, and then there are things that come with regularity. Something was not regular today, and the team knew it.

Hiruzen inspected his teacher closely, and behind him, Homura pushed his glasses further up his nose and studied their former master sitting behind the Hokage desk. Koharu spotted it, and she gasped. The other two picked it up rather quickly, and Hiruzen dared to ask…

"Um, Tobirama-sensei? Is that a five o'clock shadow?"

* * *

I know just as little as you do as to what just happened here.

All top of the head rambling, sorry. Maybe the next chapter will actually have a plot.

Anyway, cheers to the appearance of Obito, old Man-dara, Zetsu, Tobi, Naruto (of course...), and Kakko!

Who's Kakko? Look him up - he started it all. XD

All hail Kakko, the instigator of the Naruto series...errrrrrrr.

Actually, maybe it was the Sage of the Six Paths. We'll never know, kufufufu.

(if you get the kufufufu reference, then LET ME HUG YOU)


	31. Fire

CANNOT EVEN. CANNOT EVEN. I'm at school right now, and just read Naruto chapter 618.

CALLED ITTTTT. In my head, somewhere, I knew that Tobirama and Hashirama HAD to come back, at some point. TOBIRAMAAAAA. HASHIRAMAAAA! MINATOOOOO! HIRUZENNNN!

I wanted to scream my thoughts out on tumblr and deviantART, but they're both blocked at my school, so here I am instead, because I love y'all so much.

Excuse me while I scream inwardly and try not to be suspicious to the study hall advisor.

Ahem. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHH_HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHHHHHHHHH HOOWHOAAAAAOAAOAAAA__**OAOAOAOAOAOAOAAAHHHHHHH!**_

_** .x**_

I'm done. (not really)

**Disclaimer: **I _obviously _don't own Naruto, seeing as I'm inwardly _fangirling at Tobirama level_, and that the 4 supposedly sealed forever Hokage are standing RIGHT ON THAT PAGE, and I can't even stand it, and must scream at lunch today...and...yeah.

TOBIRAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ! :D

I'm so happy. So happy. I don't care if Orochimaru lost his creeper shoulders (that's a good thing), and I don't care if they said Uzumaki Clan Mask Temple (that's really cool) and I don't care that Sasuke's emo and Obito-like in his reminiscing of Konoha (pshh) and...

Just. Yes.

I don't even care that it's Edo Tensei. I'm so happy right now. SO HAPPY.

KISHI HAS GRANTED MY WISHES. EVEN IF IT'S IN A TWISTED WAY. THANK YOU KISHI. FOR ONCE.

...why you kill one of my favorite characters, then bring all the others back to life?!

But you, YOU THERE, you want to read! I'll let you read...

* * *

**Chapter 31: ****Fire**

His breath came in ragged gasps, his lungs burning as he sprinted across the rocky landscape. The once plentiful forests were alight with flames, a burning phantom terrorizing the land. Branches cracked and attempted to block his path, but he was small and agile. If needed, his Suiton would protect him, but he was terrified, and could only think of running.

"Run, Tobi!" his older brother had screamed, before the planks supporting the large tent-building hybrid had come crashing down in flames. Tobirama ran, then, a speck of white darting through the darkness, revealed only by the moon's eye. Each footfall was a painful jab, each breath a sharp spear of air in his lungs, but he ran on. He knew not where he was headed, but his instincts led him to the nearest body of water – east to the ocean. The fire had yet to cease chasing him, and he was still running for his life. His elbows and knees were scraped and bleeding from the countless times he'd fallen in the forest, dragging himself away from the approaching flames. A corner of his trousers had ripped, and his oversized shirt was charred at the sleeves. He had no armor, like his father, and no wisdom in urgent times, like his mother. His brother was not there to guide him.

He ran alone.

He ran until the forest was behind him, and the soil turned to rocks, then the rocks turned to sand, and finally, his feet were submerged in the calm, lapping waves of the ocean. The boy sank to his knees, finding comfort in the water, in the rhythmic sway of the sea. He felt the sea creatures, large and small, beneath the shimmering surface. Sand ran between his toes, and for a moment, he felt safe.

"Hands up," said a voice. But it was far from a threatening voice, really. "Don't move, or I'll shoot."

And then there was a dark-haired boy, wielding a bow and arrow far too large for him, its length longer than his height. Nonetheless, he drew the bowstring back as far as he could, arrow notched and aimed.

Tobirama said nothing, but curiously glanced at this boy. The dark-haired child was probably no older than himself, and just as skinny. He wore similarly ripped trousers, his face dark with ash, and an oversized shirt with an easily recognizable crest on his back. Tobirama didn't see the clan symbol, but he inwardly knew this boy to be Uchiha.

"Nii-san!" the boy yelled over his shoulder, towards the copse of beach shrubbery. "I found someone here!"

Tobirama was confused. The last he'd heard, the Uchiha were to the west of the Senju camp, far from the ocean.

"Oh? And who might you be, boy?" said the boy's older brother, revealing himself from the darkness. The moonlight ran along his pale skin and dark hair, a massive mane of midnight, untamed and hanging over his face. Tobirama didn't move, but his hands fisted around a ball of wet sand, tense.

"He came from the west, nii-san," said the boy around Tobirama's age, always keeping the massive arrow taught on the string. Tobirama's red eyes flickered between the siblings, wondering whether he should dive into the water or run away. The former idea seemed more plausible, and much quicker, for if he chose to run, he would have to slog through the wet sand and pull his feet out awkwardly. They'd shoot him in no time at all.

"The west?" The older boy glanced at the horizon, where a line of orange showed that the fire still raged on. "You mean, he ran all the way from the fire? I thought we had everyone cornered."

"Well, I dunno, nii-san, I wasn't part of it, and you left early."

"That's true, but still, I'm sure the clan leader had secured them in one spot, and they had a tight guard. At least, that's what Cousin told me."

Tobirama's eyes widened. He might have only been six years old, almost seven, but he understood full well what the boys before him were talking about. The Uchiha had laid an attack on the them, setting fire to all that was named Senju.

"Then he's Senju?" asked the little boy, gesturing at Tobirama. His grip on the bow had loosened, for the weapon was heavy and awkward in his hands. Tobirama dove into the water, sparing not a chance for an arrow to impale him.

"Izuna, stupid, get him!"

Izuna, the younger boy, leapt after Tobirama, but the white-haired Senju was a fish returned to its home, slicking through the waves with a powerful stroke that came naturally to him. Tobirama pressed his little palms together and desperately hoped that it would work this time. He'd worked for months on this, and he finally had a big enough water source to really try it out.

A raging water dragon arose from the sea, its maw a gaping hurricane.

"Madara nii-san!" was screamed, just as the little boy was swept away by an initial wave. The older brother dove for his sibling, snatching him out of the raging waves by a stroke of luck, and propelling himself away from the dragon. Izuna was screaming, but he was choking on seawater, unsuccessfully crying into his brother's shoulder. Madara carried his brother away, but was hit by the waves. They held their breaths until the water swept them far away.

Tobirama lay in the sand, spent, washed ashore by his own jutsu. The corner of his vision revealed a fading light in the distance; perhaps the fire was finally dying out.

And then he was at the ends of four swords, all Uchiha forged, with four pairs of deadly Sharingan eyes laid on him.

"What is this, a Senju brat?" spat the tallest one. He struck Tobirama as overly lanky, with a funny accent. But nothing was funny about the way he shoved the blade at the boy's throat, nothing at all. Tobirama didn't move, didn't fight back, didn't cower. He lay in the sand, letting dry grains pass through his fingers while the wet beach hardened beneath him. A gentle lap of water pushed at him, at his already soaked clothing. He shivered.

"I thought no one escaped," said a second. "Who found him?"

"Madara's little brother, Izuna," the first one replied. He knelt and growled. "Just a kid. We can kill him, right?"

"We killed his clan, so there's no point in leaving him," said the third. Tobirama's throat caught, then, in the midst of a terrified cry. Dead? They were all dead? It couldn't be.

"All right, then," said the first one, his weird accent a knife to Tobirama's ears. He curled up in a ball, eyes squeezed shut.

A moment before the blade pierced him, a hair from throat, a hair from slashing his throat apart, the man froze. The other three stared incredulously at him, for a wooden splinter had pierced their captain's heart. When the wood retreated and coiled up into the form of a vicious snake, alive, the men staggered backwards.

With a gleam in his eyes and his heart in his hands, Hashirama led the entirety of the Senju clan to the beach. His gaze met Tobirama's, and Tobirama felt relief and warmth run over him like the waves.

His family was here.

* * *

Short and interesting?

Well, study hall's over ~ Gotta go! :)

Comments, questions, concerns, BURNING SPRINGTIMES OF YOUTH?!


	32. Stay Healthy, Kids!

Hee hee.

Ahh. Teeeth. Just came back from a 2 hour, thousand dollar visit to the dentist. Sucks, right? Anyway, here a chappy I began in study hall, innocently. (that made little to no sense)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because it's day 2, and I'm still squeeee-ing over Tobirama revived.

**Note:** I hate the flu, and I hate the dentist. Mariko is just afraid of the dentist sticking needles and drills in her mouth. Or do they have ninja dentists, there?

**Note 2****_:_**Tried looking up maps of Konoha. All came up different, but I stuck with one. =3=

* * *

**Chapter 32: ****Stay Healthy, Kids!**

A cold hand ran along his forehead, which was slick with sweat. Images flashed before his eyes, a myriad of countless familiar places buried within the folds of his memory. His desk, the cold, slightly amused eyes of Danzo placing yet another stack of papers before him, Saru's throaty laugh, his formal Hokage robes, Koharu scolding him for working too hard…

Or had that been Mariko?

No, it was Biwako, he was sure now. Biwako had accompanied Saru, who had been…

What had Saru been doing?

Recollections of the river flowing beside training grounds abutting Konoha Memorial Cemetery, Tsunade whooping grandly as she felled another tree, to Jiraiya's horror and Orochimaru's amusement, and then – a blur. Hot and cold sensations, varying from mild buzzes of heat to plunging depths of cold, as if he was submerged in an arctic ocean. Then, suddenly, he would be blazing hot, buried beneath seven suns in the middle of Sunagakure's devastating summer desert. And finally, he'd be chilly again, a slight shiver that ran up his spine as he tried to remember what exactly had happened before his vision went black.

Ah, Tsunade. He heard her voice, frantically calling him, asking if he was all right.

No, it was Koharu.

No, Tsunade.

"I'm fine," he'd said, rather firmly.

And blackness.

* * *

"You're awake," said a familiar voice, a soft, pleasant tone that accompanied the cool fingers running across his forehead and lightly massaging his temples. The swish of blue hair, like a refreshing breeze, brushed across his forearm, which he'd pulled from beneath the stacked blankets. Someone had tried to kill him with comforters, apparently, because from his angle and position, he counted seven blankets. Perhaps more, because it was so heavy, his legs were immobile.

"I am," he replied, wiping his forehead even though she had just done so. His white hair stuck to his skin, glistening with sweat. "It's really hot under here, are you trying to suffocate me?"

"Last time you were awake, you told me you were colder than Madara on a bad day," Mariko sighed, placing a delightfully cold towelette on his face.

"I don't recall," he grumbled, letting his hand fall. The surface of all the covers was also pleasantly cool, and he let his arms rest atop his mountain of comforters for a while.

"I suppose you don't recall Jiraiya dragging you halfway across a cemetery, either, and scaring the living daylights out of every single Konoha citizen in passing?" There was a smile in her voice, now.

"Hm, no, not really," he replied just as lightly. "I remember…"

A pause.

"Ah, Tsunade, screaming in my face."

"What child wouldn't scream in their great-uncle's face if they thought he was suddenly dying?" Mariko slipped the small towel off his face, despite the frown that surfaced on her husband's face.

"I'm not dying."

"Clearly," Mariko said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "You've got a high fever. What have you been doing, walking around with no clothes on?"

"Ah, you wish." He grinned, even when she pinched his arm so hard he recoiled.

"Seriously, you had me worried!"

Tobirama sighed. She was angry now.

"Sorry," he mumbled, attempting to turn beneath the great seas of blankets. "But seriously, it's really hot under here."

"I'll throw you in the river," she hissed, slapping the towelette across his face. Miffed, he made the best adorable puppy face a grown man could make, and then smiled cheekily when she sighed and took his hand. Anger never seemed to fit on Mariko, with her small stature and heart-shaped face. The fact that it made her look like a tomato with blue vines just made it all the funnier, though the tomato award usually went to Mito. The tomato sisters, one with panda hair and one with a blue mess, always caused Tobirama some sort of trouble. Actually, Tobirama caused the trouble, and they came to heckle him about it.

"No, no you wouldn't," Tobirama said. He realized that his nose was stuffed and he felt dreadful, like his body weighed three times the usual, packed with lead. Mariko handed him some tea, and he could smell the crisp mint. It cleared his airways a little bit, but otherwise, didn't quite help at all.

"You sound terrible," Mariko stated flatly. The usually clear, deep timbre of his voice was slightly nasally, as if someone was squeezing his vocal chords and holding his nose. He sniffled miserably, head falling back on his pillow unceremoniously. "Hey, don't spill."

He handed the tea back to her, and she set it on the nightstand.

Wait, how did he get here again?

"What happened?" he inquired, too tired to try wresting his bed sheets again.

"You suddenly fell ill, fainted, and Team Hiruzen panicked and tried to save your life," Mariko said. "Shiro came out from his clan quarters, happened to pass, and ran like a madman to the Senju complex, and then everyone was screaming, and somehow, we got you back here, and had Mito look at you."

"Then why do I feel like Koharu was there, screaming at me?"

"She was, at some point. You probably came in and out of consciousness several times," Mariko said. "You and your fevers. You always fade in and out."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You arrogant Senju," she laughed lightly, pressing a kiss to his still-hot forehead. "It's nothing."

Tobirama grumpily crossed his arms, but found that the mass of pillows and whatnot blocked his way.

"Why are there so many pillows here?"

"For your comfort, Your Royal Highness."

Tobirama made a face, at which Mariko laughed again.

"Did Mito say anything?"

"That you work too hard."

"Are you sure Biwako didn't say that?"

"…Biwako's been a month-long mission, Tobirama. We haven't seen her, Aki, or Torifu for nearly a three weeks."

Three weeks? Tobirama swore that he'd just been in his office yesterday, doing those blasted papers, with Danzo running in and out because he had nothing better to do with the ANBU that day, and Biwako had been there, hissing out he was going to fall down in the middle of the street one day, because he worked too hard. Or was that Koharu?

"Dammit," he slurred under his breath.

"What now?" Mariko pushed the strands of hair clamped wetly to his skin away, stroking his forehead and rubbing the area of neck and shoulders that she could reach.

"Hokage don't hallucinate," he declared.

"Mm," she said.

"Hokage also don't get sick," he added.

"_Sure,_" drawled Mariko, patting the Senju's hand.

"Really," insisted Tobirama, suddenly at odds with the blanket mountain again. "I'm serious, Mariko."

"I believe you," she replied lightly, humming to herself, amused at his fruitless efforts to escape his fluffy, down dungeon.

"No, no you don't." Tobirama tried kicking a leg, but his bed linens were shackles that overcame his power with their silky, cotton weight. "Hokages also don't lose battles against people who try to kill them with beds."

"Ah, I see." The glint in the blunette's eyes was unmistakable now, and Tobirama knew then that it was Mariko who had buried him in this soft, utterly comfortable prison. Her lips curled into a lopsided smile, far too adorable on her face. Tobirama reached for her, but she leaned just out of his length, grinning full out now.

"I will _not_ hold your hand next time we go to the dentist," hissed Tobirama. Mariko's smile morphed quickly into a scowl, which didn't look too threatening on her.

"And _you_ are going to stay and rest until you fully recover," she answered plainly. When he began to protest, she tutted sharply and produced another coverlet out of nowhere. The white-haired Senju's eyes grew comically wide, almost terrified—Hokages are _not _scared of blankets, thank you very much—as she tossed the spread over him. It was a light one, thankfully, but then she dug through some random drawers and produced an army of miscellaneous winter bedding.

"Mariko, it's the _middle of summer_," Tobirama strained. "Besides, I'm not sick! It's the middle of summer, after all—"

"Summer flu. Heat stroke. Dehydration," Mariko deadpanned, straightening her pile of deadly weapons. "Mosquito-transmitted diseases, hallucinating, hot flashes."

"I'm not a woman, I don't get hot flashes."

Mariko waggled her eyebrows, and Tobirama wasn't sure if he was supposed to take that as a suggestive eyebrow wiggle, or a teasing one. Either way, the albino was not about to escape the dungeon of quilts.

"Tsunade will be around in a few hours, before dinner, to visit you," Mariko said simply. With the name of his great-niece, Tobirama suddenly felt old, unbearably old. His bones seemed to creak, and his shoulders stiffened, but really, it was all a figure of his imagination. Had his imagination taken the shape of an insane Kiri ninja, Tobirama would've grown old long, long ago. He took it as a gift from the gods that his hair was white already, so he worried little about losing hair color. The very same trait that had plagued him turned out to be beneficial in some way or the other. Mariko was fond of it, especially on snowy winter days when he seemed to assimilate into his surroundings and simply disappear. He smiled, at this.

And then he remembered Team Hiruzen.

"No, no, no, don't let them in," Tobirama suddenly sputtered. "Tsunade will choke me to death with her hug."

"That's so sweet, the Second Hokage is afraid of her own grandniece," Mariko quipped.

"No, Mariko—"

"I always wonder who she takes after more — Hashi, or Mito?"

"Mariko, listen—"

"She certainly has—"

"Mariko!"

The blunette stared at him stonily, and he recoiled slightly. Indeed, he was a tall man who towered over her when standing, and the advent of his anger, should he deem it proper for someone to face his wrath, made ANBU captains wet their pants, but wives were far more powerful than any satanic power that should grace the ninja world. And Tobirama knew it. Even if that wife happened to be a hardly five foot little woman who still looked like an adorable girl with a round face and pretty lashes. Even if she was insanely adorable, and swung her legs like a child when she sat on round stool. Mariko could work both ways—she could produce the most heart-melting pouty face that mankind had ever seen, or she could cross her arms and transform into a brooding pillar of doom.

"What." She stared some more.

"Um, hug?"

Wives tended to have mollifying effects on their great husbands. Unless, that is, you happened to be Senju Hashirama, who was the same, kind man all around…except the day Madara tried to take his wife, that day, he turned into something scarier than Jashin and the Ten Tails combined. For Hashi and Mito, Mito was the hothead, and Hashi the calm one holding her hand and kissing her cheek when she needed it.

For Tobirama, when Mariko leaned down to embrace him lightly and kiss him on the cheek lightly, his was sure he could melt through his quilts and escape his dungeon. Not! He did sink, however, further into his pillows, a love-struck lamb resting in a field of pretty, pretty flowers.

* * *

And then Tsunade whipped the door open, and screamed,

"UNCLE TOBIRAMA! I THOUGHT YOU DIED!"

The worst thing was, she had brought those other two.

"TOBIRAMA-SAMA! I KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE! WE WHITE-HAIRED PEOPLE ARE INVINCIBLE!"

"Tobirama-sama, will you teach me Edo Tensei?"

Tobirama wanted nothing more than to curl up into his cave of blankets and disappear, disappear far, far away from his blonde grandniece who wouldn't stop yelling questions in his ear, the snow-topped boy who began making nonsensical connections, and the quiet, dark-haired one who was kind enough not to yell, but not kind enough to stop bothering him. Jutsus, jutsus, all he wanted to learn was jutsus!

"No, I can't teach you that. Tsunade, one question at a time. Jiraiya, what do you mean you were at the hot springs—hey, you're ten years old!"

"Uncle, one night I came to look for you, but you and Auntie were making weird noises and—"

A hand clamped over Tsunade's eternally flapping lips, accompanied by a flushed Tobirama. The Hokage, annoyed now, wanted extremely to kick all three out of his room. He was about to, when the person he least wanted there appeared in the threshold of the room.

"Hey, if it isn't Tobirama-sensei! Looking good in those blankets!"

"Go away, Saru. Just go away."

* * *

My face is so numbbbb. I have to go back next week. OTL.

Boo hoo for me, yahoo! for Tobirama and co.

Seeing as last chapter had Tobirama only, here's the return of...several people.

Ah, Orochimaru. You're the genius of the latest chapters, yet you lack the common sense needed in this type of situation. Then again, your entire team's a little cuckoo, so that's to be expected. Saru, Saru, Saru, how are you even taking care of these kids?!


	33. Memory of a Melody

_**ANNOUNCEMENTS**_

_**1. **The lovely __**Azure Raindrops**__ has written a fanfic about Mariko! I cannot even believe it, thank you thank you thank you, you are far too kind._

_Go read it! It's called __**Allegro**_**, **_and it's here: /s/8956671/1/_

_It's AMAZING, and PERFECT! I love it so much. Thank you, Azure, I shall shower you with my love._

_**2. **Thanks so much for support and love, guys! This story has become just randomness with old Konoha, so I'm going to start up another story solely for Mariko and Tobirama, if you're interested. :) It'll be up soon, so keep an eye out!  
_

Back to the story. With some tie ins to the other story, haha.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because apparently, Orochima-chan is badass enough to revive all the Hokages...AGAIN!

* * *

**Chapter 33: ****Memory of a Melody**

It wasn't quite morning, yet, but already, the birds were singing in soft, gliding tones. Yet another day in the Hokage office, filing papers and stamping things that he had to check over twice because he had been too tired to read them the first time.

"Honey, what time is it?" muttered the lump in the covers, a woman curled up comfortably in the curve of his warmth.

"I think it's 4:00AM," he replied, clearing his throat groggily.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why is someone playing the piano?"

He paused then, and listened. It had not been the birds, he realized, but the soft rings of their grand piano way over in the main room adjacent to the courtyard of their home.

"I don't really know."

"Mmm," she mumbled, tossing a pillow in his face.

"Ow."

"The Great Hashirama is defeated by Uzumaki Mito's pillow," she giggled, almost like a little girl having a pillow fight. Mito was known for her maturity, not for spontaneous giggling. "I'd like to see Madara's face upon hearing that his rival was defeated by a pillow to the face."

"That's enough nonsense, go to sleep."

Mito had no objections, easily slipping back into her dreams with the soft, flowing lullaby of the piano through the walls. Hashirama laid back, eyes shifting to the doorway when he heard someone shuffling down the hall. No, not shuffling exactly, but a careful, straight tread that belonged to Tobirama. One would think that the white-haired Senju tended to be lazy and tired in the morning, but Tobirama was alert, even at four in the morning.

He also claimed that Hashirama made the floorboards squeak on purpose.

"You and your Mokuton," he'd accused jokingly.

Hashirama, however, didn't get out of bed. For one, Mito had an arm draped around his chest, and if he dared move, she would slap him silly with the pillow. Secondly, Tobirama's activities were his own business; he would probably tell them what was going on with the piano later, anyway. Hashirama still recalled the time when his little brother had nightmares of the townspeople calling him a demon and holding him down to burn his hair in hopes of turning it black. Such a sad child, Tobirama had been. The combination of being shunned and the Senju-Uchiha conflicts sometimes haunted him, even as a teen. Guerilla warfare always made him nervous, especially when they hid among the trees and prepared to jump the enemy.

The first time, Hashirama had laid a reassuring hand on his brother's shoulder. The metal of his forehead protector, then labeled with the Senju's clan symbol, glinted in the evening moonlight.

It had been their first win in the series of many battles working inland.

"Hashi."

"Yes, Mito?"

"The piano stopped."

Hashirama sighed. Leave it to Mito to not actually fall asleep, but listen to the music instead. The Senju knew if his redhead, hot-tempered wife was prone to mood swings, but this was just strange. Mito usually liked her sleep.

"Mito, when we have a child, what would you name it?" he suddenly asked.

"Where did this come from?"

"You smacked it out of my head with that pillow."

Cue a gentle shove under the covers.

"I don't know."

"If it's a girl?"

"Tsunade."

"A boy?"

"I'd have to think."

Hashirama sighed then, knowing full well that Mito wanted a girl. Fate would play out so that they had a son, a beautiful son whose copper hair glinted in the summertime, and could grow golden birch trees from the ground with the ease of a bird taking flight. He would fall in love with a pretty, young kunoichi, a decent ninja rising in the ranks of Konoha's growing systems. She had golden curls to match his golden trees, and they lived together in a peaceful corner of the Senju complex. And, to Mito's delight, they would first have a daughter, and she would be named Tsunade.

"Do you think Tobi would ever have children?" Hashirama wondered out loud.

"I fear for his children, then," Mito snorted, laughing. Hashirama smiled and ran a hand through her impossibly red hair, marveling at its length. He cherished the times when Mito wasn't wrapped up in her usual hairstyle and clothing, rather formal and sometimes strict. Plus, her hot temper seemed to melt at times like this.

"I fear for them too," Hashirama agreed.

Mito closed her eyes and decided that she could finally go back to sleep, and Hashirama followed suit.

* * *

Years later, Tsunade would sit with her elderly grandmother in Konoha Memorial Cemetery, a checkerboard blanket laid out, and a bowl of fruits that needed protection from ants laid before them. After their lunch, Tsunade would take her grandmother gently by the elbow and lead her to see the Academy, where the children were growing into fine shinobi. The old woman pointed out Nawaki, who would wave proudly at them and point out the First Hokage's wife, his grandmother, to his friends.

And then, Mito's eyes would stray to the necklace that hung around Tsunade's neck, a happy, not sad, reminder of Hashirama's Will of Fire.

After Academy lessons were over, Nawaki would plunk himself down on the piano bench and play a song or two. He always preferred the books that his great-aunt had left from her time, and he happily ran his fingers through the notes with an ease and grace that nearly brought tears to Mito's eyes. When he began learning a new song, the notes plucked at her heart, for it wasn't a new song in her memory. Eventually, he learned the piece that she had listened to one early morning, a ghostly, melancholy tune that rang even through the thick walls of the Senju complex.

"Nawaki," she said gently. "Let me show you something."

To Tsunade, Mito left Hashirama's necklace.

To Nawaki, she left the Hurricane emerald that hid within the piano.

"Your great-aunt dropped this one day," she said. "At four in the morning, in this piano."

"Why was she playing at four in the morning?" the boy would ask, his cheeks pink and his grin wide.

"Sit down, and I'll tell you a story after you practice."

* * *

Of course, this story and its random contents will continue on!

But...Mariko's story coming soon! Again, bits and pieces in no particular order, a series of short stories! Whoooo.


	34. Grave of Dreams Alive

Aaaand we're back to the randomness that is this story!

Quick update, because I'm procrastinating. Sorry that Emeralds is taking so long - school's terrible, haha. Besides that, Tobirama is ADORABLE. I can't take it, lol. Also, _stirringwind_ the artist on both dA and tumblr is a genius. I, too, read "Senju BUTT-SAMA" at first. Oh the hilarity that will ensue.

Besides that, I remind you that I take some liberty with timelines and other Naruto nonsense...like flashbacks within flashbacks, which seems to be Kishi's thing right now.

New term: KISHITROLLCEPTION.

That was beautiful /shot

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because I actually don't know what color Itama's hair is...OuO

* * *

**Chapter 34: Grave of Dreams Alive**

Itama stirred the water with his finger. He cupped the stream with his hands and drank from it, quenching his thirst. After a few moments of rest, kneeling at the bank of the little flowing water, he stood and brushed himself off. The clink of his armor satisfied him, comforted him. It was hard and cold and solid; it was his armor, after all.

A little ways away, he found himself marking a boulder for his clan members to see that he had checked this area. The little tick mark let them know he'd visited around noon.

He had failed, however, to observe the four shinobi creeping up on him.

They did not care for his tears — they mercilessly drove a dagger into his undefended heart. His armor was nothing.

Tobirama awoke with a start. His head was pounding with an excruciating headache, and the consistent shatter of rain outside, accompanied by pounding thunder, wasn't doing much to help him. Images flashed through his mind, ranging from Hashirama to Itama to Mariko. The moment he saw Mariko with several shuriken embedded into her body, he whipped around to check on her.

The blunette slept peacefully, wrapped and tucked to the chin with warm comforters. The white-haired Senju sighed, reaching over to stroke a lock of sapphire hair, dim in the dark room and illuminated only by the scarce bit of refracted moonlight through the pound of rain and the heavy clouds.

"Mm," she mumbled into the pillow, a small hand slipping from under the covers to grasp his wrist. She held it to her cheek, and promptly fell asleep then. As much as Tobirama would have liked to stay there with her, he carefully extracted his hand from her soft grip and slid from the bed.

He rummaged quietly through his closet, slipping on an old face guard and an old outfit. He did not don his blue armor, nor did he pick up the Konoha-branded happuri. An old-style jacket and wide pants that had always been comfortable, and a black shirt. He remembered when he had outgrown these clothes, but the old Senju style was too dear for him to throw away — him and Hashirama both. They wore this attire, even as adults, on this day in particular.

Outside, Hashirama was already at the gate, holding two swords. One of them was handed to Tobirama, which he tied securely to his waist. It was an old blade, chipped and tarnished, but still his all the same.

Together, the two brothers strode, in the middle of the night, to a small place outside the village's memorial cemetery. They stood for a good long time, looking down at the small honorary stone engraved with Itama's name.

Hashirama touched his cheek absently, and then kneeled before the grave.

"I wonder if he's rolling in his grave," he said, his voice hiccupping in the middle, "because I let bygones be bygones."

"Did you?" asked the other brother, the one with the pale moon hair that stared expressionlessly at the simple stone that was supposed to be Itama. He had not been there. He'd arrived too late, even after Hashirama had pulled the sword from Itama's chest and had been crying for a long, long time. He saw blood, and he saw the tracks of tears on Itama's dirt-stained face, two streaks of clean from his final sobs.

Hashirama didn't answer. He touched the stone, then stood.

"Do you miss him?" he asked unnecessarily.

"As much as you do," Tobirama answered. "I just show it differently."

"I know you do," murmured the older Senju, touching Tobirama's arm. The younger brother leaned against his sibling, and the two stared at the grave for a while. Tobirama did not glance back when he felt two presences grace the cemetery entrance behind them. However, they were gone within a few minutes, only paying their respects for a what might have been a friendship.

They were quickly replaced by two more presences, the appearance of which surprised both men greatly. One was Mito, long red hair dangling freely to her waist, holding a tray with hot tea and sweet cakes, as if she was inviting them in for a relaxing afternoon snack. The other was Mariko, her blue hair a stark contrast from the redhead's, waiting patiently. In her arms, a purring cat by the name of Tenzou, whose whiskers twitched curiously.

Three hours had passed, and the sky had yet to change into dawn. Nonetheless, the two women waited until the two brothers stopped throwing hesitant glances back at the stone. When they finally returned home, they sat down and had a pleasant breakfast.

* * *

Years and years later, there would be more graves to visit. At first, the two brothers would stand before Itama's grave, eternally wondering what he would have looked like had he been given the chance to live. He most likely would have taken after their father, and looked more like Hashirama. But who was to say he would have stayed that way? Maybe he would have grown up into a completely different man.

Along with this, Hashirama would begin meandering across the cemetery, stopping first at the grave of a blind man, who had fallen nobly in war, and then at a man he had killed himself. He would pick up a stone, a smooth, flat one suitable for skipping across a familiar stream, and write a note on it. Then, he'd set it on the gravestone's head and continue on to walk away.

Soon enough, Itama's grave was only visited by one brother. Beside him, mounted on a Hokage's memorial, was Hashirama's grave. Several people would accompany Tobirama on his visits, then. One was a blue-haired woman that held his hand faithfully, never wavering despite the fact that it pained her to feel the warmth that emanated from the name engraved on the headstone. The other was a redhead that touched Hashirama's grave, endless tears letting themselves known. Her son would cry, too, and so would her niece and nephew. But her own tears would lock themselves up for another time, for she was stronger than the waves of a storm, and would not be taken by the deadliest cyclones.

* * *

"I think it's time to leave."

"Give me a few minutes."

And Mito would give her a few minutes, because she remembered asking for some time before Hashirama's grave.

Sometimes, Team Tobirama would sit in a semicircle before the second name on the Hokage Memorial, and sometimes their friends, too. Other times, it was just Mariko and her children — her daughter asking for stories, and her brother telling her boldly of the time their father had created a waterfall from heaven.

* * *

It had been so long.

So, so long.

She thought that it was finally time for her own funeral. She tried recalling the last one she'd gone to: Ah, yes, that was right. A traditional Hurricane procession, the women with their faces ghostly white and their hair tied, the men looking dark and solemn, the hues of ochre and charcoal charring their foreheads. Her last remaining relative, his hair still sapphire and strong, glasses slipping down his nose, finalizing her death with an island lament.

It had been a long time since then. Her hair had faded, and she was old, very old. But she was still strong, even to her death. Her dying moments had her granddaughter whimpering at her side, and her successor looking afraid. But she entrusted her granddaughter with her will, along with the will of the First Hokage — she touched the necklace along the girl's neck and told her, _"You are strong, my girl",_ smiling — and let the young blonde step away. And the young redhead, with a round, innocent face and scared eyes. She told her, _"Fill the vessel with love_," for that was the path to happiness.

And the children, no longer children, they cried for her. She remembered the day her sister-in-law had crowned that boy Hokage, the third one, during Tobirama's funeral, before the entirety of Konoha. He was not a boy anymore. He was old and had a wife and children, and was here with his two teammates, transformed for the moment into genin once more.

_You have made us proud_. _All of us_.

And he cried, pitifully.

"Sometimes I wonder how in the world I became Hokage," sighed the woman, studying her scarlet nails. Shizune smiled gently at her, setting down the amusing little pig that was their constant companion.

"People die," Shizune said.

"And people life," Tsunade continued. "Is that why I'm Hokage?"

"Women's rights?" suggested her student. Tsunade laughed then, before digging through an old box of things she'd dug up from the storage basement the other day, bored out of her mind. To her surprise, it was a compilation of photo albums from each Hokage's reign. The one at the top was more recent, and it had a picture of Sarutobi-sensei's entire class. There was Danzo, and there were her two, senile advisors who would never stop harping about her faults. Tsunade laughed dryly. There was Sarutobi-sensei, and there was the Hyuuga head, and even one of Dan's uncles. And was that Sakura's grandfather, right there?

"Wow, these pictures are ancient," murmured Shizune.

"Yes, we're all old dinosaurs," chuckled Tsunade, picking up another book. This next one she liked immensely, because it was full of her grandparents and their families. Great Aunt Mariko, holding a very happy baby. The pictures didn't have the greatest color quality, but the blue of the baby's hair could still be made out, a slightly different hue from the rest of the photo's dimmed shades. Another one with her great aunt, playing with the baby — oh, that baby was adorable! — and the baby was reaching for Uncle Tobirama's hands.

And there was Tsunade, held by a nanny, being cooed at by her grandfather.

Hashirama. If there was a best grandpa award, the First Hokage would have won it easily. Well, that was despite the fact that he'd created the second Legendary Sucker, he himself being a first — a little known fact, of course — and being berated by his wife for it, too. Tsunade found it all amusing, a little wistful, but very nice to look at. She wondered what Naruto's reaction would be if he found out that she, too, was an Uzumaki by blood.

Mito had always been beautiful. Grandmother. She and Kushina had striking auras, their garnet hair shimmering in the light. Mito was like a flower, but a hardy one at that. Apparently, Tsunade mused brightly, her grandmother could beat her in throwing a punch, distance-wise.

Finally, a worn volume, nearly in shambles, held together loosely by a hand-cut leather cover and dense, wiry strings.

The faces she saw were mostly unfamiliar, but she saw the similarities by blood. She also saw a face of a boy whose name she'd learned of, a war hero from once upon a time. He was her granduncle Itama, a boy who never got the chance to grow up.

It reminded Tsunade painfully of Nawaki. She hoped that somehow, her little brother got to meet Itama, somehow, in death. She liked to imagine that her family was up there, holding Nawaki and Dan close, watching over her. Sarutobi-sensei, Uncle Tobirama, Aunt Mariko, Grandmother, and Grandfather too.

"GRANNY!"

Oh, how she despised being called such an old, haggardly name. But it was a fond name, nonetheless, and she _did_ have a soft spot for the mischievous blonde that was currently bounding up the Hokage Tower steps.

"TELL BUSHY BROWS THAT — SHUT UP NEJI — Awww, Sakura-channn, why not?"

An exclamation turned angry accusation turned into a pout. He never ceased to be interesting, did he?

"Yamato-taichou, tell Granny why I _have_ to go on this mission!" Naruto exclaimed, bursting into the office. "So what, Neji?! I can go on this mission if I want to!"

Thickheaded, he was.

"And _what_ are we talking about?" Tsunade asked, rolling her eyes. Yamato, the poor guy, shrugged. He was the oddest thing, sometimes, as odd as Naruto, only in a different way. He was his own person, but his Mokuton screamed Hashirama's name, and the faceguard he wore had a semblance to that of Uncle Tobirama's. Tsunade looked at the pictures again; she was sure that she had some distant cousins, somewhere. Aunt Mariko's blue hair had long since faded out — her brother, who had married a Frost Country woman, had brown-haired children. Some of them moved to Konoha, Tsunade knew… — but she'd had grandchildren, somewhere.

"Akatsuki, Granny, Akatsuki!" shouted Naruto too loudly. "Keep up with the program, Granny!"

"I will _throw_ this book at you, and it will be destroyed, and I will be so angry that I destroyed this book that I will _take it out on you_," hissed Tsunade.

"Ooh, what book?" asked Lee and Naruto in unison. Tsunade sighed and glanced at it.

"Nothing, really."

She put the albums back in their boxes, where Ton-Ton snuffled at them curiously. The pig flipped to a page that surprised her — unexpectedly, a slightly blurry snapshot of a young Hashirama with his best friend, skipping stones along a river. A Senju crest and an Uchiha crest.

History would never cease amazing her.

And the present…well, it would never stop annoying her, even though she loved it to bits and pieces. Her past would haunt her, and her memories would plague her nightmares, but she would never let go of them. They were too precious. She would simply learn to cope with them, and cherish them more.

_My name's Jiraiya. Here's a love letter._

Idiots, everywhere.

_I want to be Hokage!_

Dreams, too.

_I'll make Konoha a better place…for everyone_.

Dreaming idiots.

_I'll come back alive, I promise. _

Foolish promises, made in her dreams, perhaps?

"GRANNY!"

No. Tsunade decided that in the end, what she was dealing with right now seemed to be of the most importance. And at the moment, she was dealing with a stubborn blonde blockhead, and he wasn't just a dream world pest.

Ah, but that was all right too.

_Follow your gut feeling, and bet everything on it!_

That line had given both her and her grandfather oodles of trouble, but she followed it anyway.

"Now, Naruto, if you want to participate in this mission…"

* * *

Tonighttttttt we are youuungggg.

So let's set the world on FIREEEE

we can burn BRIGHTERRR

than the S-

Tobirama, your face guard is too large for you.

Anyway, that was We Are Young by Fun, of course.

Um. What was I going to say...YES, here we are: Somehow, I went from sad Senjus dying to more dying to more dying to Naruto wanting to go on a mission. Whoot whoot.


	35. Date

Somehow, I started shipping a strange couple. They're sort of cute.

Random idea that popped into my head.

**Disclaimer: **Naruto doesn't belong to me, because a wild baby Sasuke has appeared! (Izuna)

* * *

**Chapter 35: ****Date**

She couldn't quite put it into words. It was a strange day — rainy, but not, and sunny, but also not quite, as if the sky was confused. Maybe the Konoha weather was trying to send messages, though about what, Mariko could not quite tell. She was sure it was not about her issue with this dastardly centipede that was stalking her — seriously, it _was stalking her_ — or even about the growing life in her belly that she had not told Tobirama of yet, but more about the awkwardly blooming love of teenagers. She quite enjoyed watching it unfold.

The moment the word _date_ came out of someone's mouth, it shot around the community like an infectious disease carried by Obitopede itself.

"Date?" asked Biwako.

"Date?" murmured Homura.

"Date?" parroted an Akimichi boy.

"Date?" echoed the Nara and her friends.

"Date?" chortled Torifu.

"Date." Danzo was not amused.

"Date?!" exclaimed Shiro.

"Date…" Aki looked rather confused, almost as if he couldn't comprehend the word with the image of the two who were bound to go on this date. And he had good reason to think this way, for no one had expected the first _date_ to come from Kagami's mouth, playboy or not. With bated breath, they waited for her reaction, for the girl to smack him across the face and break his nose, or hurtle thousands of senbon needles at point blank range. They waited for Kagami to emerge a human porcupine, but he did not (sadly, for some people).

She said, "What time?"

Hiruzen nearly passed out.

"DATE?!" he hollered, almost in Tobirama's ear. The white-haired Senju pushed away his student and chewed on the thought on his own. All that came up was, _huh, _accompanied by an intrigued nod.

"This is interesting," Mito chirped.

"This is _not_," sighed Tobirama.

"Oh, you _know_ it's interesting," snipped Toka, rolling her eyes. And they all knew that somewhere deep inside, this was amusing Tobirama to no end.

And thus began the preparations, the place, the time, the setup. The endless torture that Kagami would inevitably be subjected to simply because he had asked the one and only Utatane Koharu on a date.

"Well, it was nice knowin' ya," said Shiro, patting the Uchiha on the back.

"Get back here, dog boy," hissed Kagami, folding his arms. "What do I do now?"

Everyone shrugged.

"I'll buy you a casket," murmured Danzo, who was picking at their untouched dango, rather satisfied that he got to eat most of it.

"I'm not dying," Kagami said forcefully. "Yet."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hiruzen.

"Figure it out, monkey."

* * *

"I call hair."

"I call _makeup_."

"I call clothes!"

And this was the trouble of being a kunoichi. Koharu wanted to punch herself in the face for agreeing to this. She was now the poor, tortured little guinea pig for teenage girls that were squealing uncontrollably with delight at the fact that _she of all people_ was going on a date with _Kagami_. Because he's like, _so_ hot, according to everyone.

"Hair down," Biwako said. Koharu shook her head vehemently.

"Hair up," she replied.

"Nope. Hair down," Biwako insisted.

"I'd rather be one of Chiyo's puppets."

"Hair down."

And there was no arguing with the woman that would become the Third Hokage's wife someday.

* * *

Whoever had suggested karaoke would die tomorrow. This was what Kagami swore, because karaoke was a group thing, and thus, several people were accompanying them. This wasn't even a date, not the real thing, not yet. That was supposed to be on Friday. But lo and behold, someone — most likely Hiruzen and Shiro — had organized a Wednesday night karaoke outing for all of their friends.

It didn't help that there was a doe-eyed, blue-haired woman at the door, smiling mysteriously as they entered. It also didn't help that behind her, a tall, white-haired Senju wearing full blue armor and a face guard raised an eyebrow at him. But the worst part was that when he raised his eyebrow, Koharu dodged behind quite a few other girls before entering. What the hell was that.

(On a side note, Kagami sensed a heat, a small swirl of chakra emanating from Mariko's belly, and had this strange realization that they were going to expect blue-haired Senjus. Hopefully not everywhere.)

On that fateful Wednesday evening, it was discovered that Hiruzen had the voice of a god, Danzo was surprisingly sexy when he sang, and Shiro sounded like a goat. Aki sounded like a cheese grater, while Biwako sang in an overly high-pitched voice. Koharu didn't sing, and Homura mumbled into the microphone, while Kagami did his best to keep up with Torifu's excited lyric-chanting.

Someone began dancing, and then everyone was dancing, and because this was all a conspiracy to produce some impossible love story, Koharu and Kagami were pushed together. And, of course, someone just _had_ to bump into Hiruzen, who slammed "accidentally" into Koharu, effectively knocking her into Kagami's chest.

It was a good plan, to be honest, but at the same time, it failed miserably. Koharu's head hit Kagami's mouth, and Kagami bent over, lip bleeding because he'd bitten it. He swore, a string of oaths that should not be repeated in front of young children — or any children, for that matter — and someone _laughed_.

"HIRUZEN, I WILL—"

"Room service!"

"WHAT THE HELL."

Why is there room service in a karaoke club?

"Sir, would you like a napkin?"

And then there was a teeny blunette staring at him, offering a towel. Kagami was so, so confused, and he looked up to see Koharu glancing down at him worriedly — that was just _great_, he moaned inwardly — and then the rest of the group trying not the laugh, silenced when Koharu hissed at them. It occurred to Kagami that Tobirama was probably _watching_ them, hence why his pregnant wife was kneeling in front of him, sort of amused but mostly worried. He accepted the towel, but wondered why in the world a Senju that despised the Uchiha would be watching him.

Oh wait.

Koharu. Koharu was his student. He supposed that that made some sense…sort of. Then again, why should he worry if there was a group of idiots with them? Oh wait, he should worry about that too.

Actually, Tobirama just wanted to watch something funny happen.

* * *

Koharu was ready to murder people, and if someone let out a dozen crazy Kiri nin before her, there would have been a slaughter. She could demolish a Chuunin Exam, she could bust a hole in the Hokage mountain, she could _eat a freaking Obitopede_, she was so angry. That moment, right there, when her impatience peaked — even if one was Obitopede, running was the best option.

Nonetheless, her girlfriends cooed around her and straightened her hair, clipping it back fancily and then dusting her eyelids with a pretty color that she didn't even know existed as makeup.

Somewhat on the other side of the village, in the Uchiha complex, Shiro was clicking his tongue at the sloppily put together Uchiha.

"It's artfully thrown together," Kagami claimed.

"Even _I_ wouldn't be so messy," scoffed the Inuzuka, rolling his eyes. "And you smell…interesting."

"He smells like apple pie," Hiruzen commented. "Because he just baked it for his sister."

"Shut up, Hiruzen!"

"Ah. Well, I think apple pie will do," Shiro declared. "Now put this on."

"What are you, a woman?"

"No, I'm smart. And we don't want you to die. PUT IT ON."

Kagami changed his clothes obediently.

* * *

Tobirama was done waiting for something interesting to happen, because now he apprehensively regarded the Uchiha waiting at the corner of the street, looking better put-together than Madara on a bad day. Which made a lot of sense, actually, because Madara was a very well-dressed man (most of the time).

Meanwhile, alongside his worries that Koharu would fall for a hooligan like Kagami — as her teacher, he was an aggressive second father — Tobirama had other issues that were currently eating holes in his health. Mariko had mysteriously started getting sick in the morning, trying unsuccessfully to sneak to the bathroom and vomit. Tobirama had never been a heavy sleeper, unless in an otherworldly state of fatigue, and had immediately sensed her movement away from the bed.

Padding into the bathroom, he held her hair away from her face and rubbed her shoulders until she curled up into a nauseous ball of sapphire-topped girl in his lap. He wondered, mistakenly, if there was a stomach flu going on. He made a mental note to go ask Mito.

(Mito would tell him that she'd heard of some kids getting sick — entirely untrue, but Mariko had sworn her to secrecy for now — and would shake her head at his lack of perception. For a man known to be a top sensory shinobi, how could he fail to sense that his own child was in his wife's belly? _Oh well_, Mito thought. _We'll tell him eventually_. At least there was no need for the village's strongest shinobi and her relatives to sit inside a secluded cave, operating one of the highest level seals in existence just for her to have a child…)

But the current matter was Koharu, and she was rounding the corner. She nearly bumped into Kagami, who offered his arm in a very gentlemanly manner. Almost robotically. Even so, Koharu seemed pleased, taking his arm lightly. Kagami had obviously been trained, perhaps by Biwako, who had been stalking to and from the Uchiha complex back to Koharu's house on Thursday.

Another issue involved romantic activities. After _date_, the word _kiss_ zoomed around like a storm, and then other things as well. Activities that no one really wanted the particulars of, but were terribly interested in. Twisted.

Tobirama touched the rooftop he was crouched on. In an instant, he felt the presences of six other shinobi, all of them doing quite a good job hiding themselves (except from him, of course). He spotted Shiro, first. When Kagami made a move to grab something off a shelf and buy it, the Inuzuka gestured wildly. _No_, he screamed without screaming. Kagami recalled his hand.

Now _this_ was amusing. The boys were desperately trying to coach Kagami during his date, and Koharu was sort of just ambling along, rather content. Tobirama had assumed that Koharu, as the female party, would have been much more worried. Then again, Koharu had never been the fussy type.

"_This dango is so good_," someone said too loudly to be casual.

"_Yum, yum_," said the next person.

Tobirama wanted to slap his forehead, because the person who claimed that the dango was delicious hadn't even eaten a bite, most likely because she was still feeling sick and didn't feel like washing her blue hair again. The next girl was Tobirama's cousin, and was making a big deal of stuffing dango into her mouth indulgently.

And Koharu liked dango, Tobirama knew.

Kagami made a gesture, and Koharu nodded. As soon as they entered the dango shop, three ninja came tiptoeing out of nowhere in particular. One was Biwako, who cleverly dressed herself in too-large armor and headgear that disguised her face. The next was Hiruzen, who was kneeling on top of the shop itself. The last was Shiro, who was nervously tugging nothing from his dog's coat.

Then:

"KAGAMI YOU IDIOT!"

That was the sound of rejection, that poor Uchiha. One could only hope that he wouldn't go nuts and become as full of angst and unreasonable despair as the rest of them. (It would probably comfort Tobirama to know that Kagami never became an angry old man, like his clansmen, but instead stayed the carefree, relaxed character he always was.)

As fate would have it — the same fate that deemed that Kamui-land would be connected to Tobi's eyehole, and that Tsunade, later to be chopped mercilessly in half, would have the strength of ten elephants, _and_ the same force that graced Sasuke with a face stunningly similar to Izuna's — Kagami had spilled his tea all over Koharu. Hot tea, burning tea, steaming tea, all over the outfit that her fellow kunoichi had poured hours and hours over, deciding the right blouse. Stupid blouse.

"I'm so sorry, let me—"

"Don't touch my chest, pervert!" she hissed.

"I'm not—" Deflated, Kagami gave up as Koharu ran to the nearest restroom to clean herself up. He slumped backwards in his seat, sighing. He seemed genuinely disappointed in himself, which surprised Tobirama.

Then, to Tobirama's dismay, Mariko turned around and tapped the Uchiha's shoulder.

"The first one's always bad," she consoled. Then, laughing, "If it makes you feel any better, my first _five_ were bad. I always ended up falling in some unfortunate puddle or getting shot at with arrows."

At this, Kagami's eyes widened, and he flashed a meek smile. He would try again, of course.

Not that Koharu was in any mood to continue this date at the moment.

* * *

Somewhat behind the local news, Hashirama stood up abruptly in his office.

"Him?! With _her_?! ON A DATE?! And she said _yes?!_"

Mito the messenger nodded smugly, and watched in wonder as Hashirama turned on his heel and peered out his window, incredulous.

"It's too bad he couldn't consult Madara…that man had fabulous fashion."

"Unlike you?"

"Yes, unlike me."

Obviously, seeing as the Hokage was still wearing his pajama flannels by accident. (Mito decided not to tell him, smiling to herself.)

* * *

Etsuko likes dango. She also says hi ~

Besides that, OH KAGAMI. YOU SO SILLY.

I read a little Kagami x Koharu blurb, and it was hilarious and cute.

I have the oddest headcanons, so I just spit them out for you. Hee hee.


	36. Blue Baby

Sorry for the long delay! I've been so busyyyy. So stressed, too. _Emeralds _will update soon, I promise. I just got stuck, drew a picture of Tobirama and Mariko's first child, thought he was too cute, and so I wrote about him. Yes. He is the feature of this story.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, but Takeshi's mine. I could eat him up, he's so cute.

**CHECK MY DEVIANTART TO SEE TAKESHI!**

Wait, who is Takeshi? (Their son. lol) I've an entire Hurricane folder, too...with some ugly stuff in it, but don't mind that! XD

* * *

**Chapter 36: ****Blue Baby**

If Hiruzen could be anything, he would be a monkey. But, of all the things to be named, he was ultimately crowned as Konoha's boogieman. To his dismay, this new nickname caused a ripple of laughter to surface among his friends, who tried their best to hide their prominent grins.

"Oh shut up, Kagami," snapped Hiruzen caustically. Uncharacteristically, the poor monkey folded his arms and angrily sulked in a corner.

"Chill, Hiruzen," laughed the Uchiha lightly. "Just because a baby thinks you're the boogieman doesn't mean it's the end of the world."

Hiruzen wasn't convinced. His (new) girlfriend, Biwako, was happily crouched beside the baby, cooing and offering the child her hand to hold. The blue-haired son of the future Second Hokage and his wife was probably the most adorable thing on earth – except for the fact that he thought Hiruzen was the boogieman.

"Seriously, these blue-haired children will be the end of me," hissed Hiruzen. Why was he so angry at this child? Senju Takeshi was his name. Hiruzen had no clue why – perhaps he just didn't want to be called the boogieman of Konoha.

"I think he's cute," Kagami said, which prompted a few incredulous stares. Did Kagami just say…_cute_? The Uchiha kneeled down before the infant, who gurgled happily when Kagami offered him a finger to wrap his little ones around. "Hey, Takeshi, don't eat my finger."

The blue boy gazed up at Kagami, eyes wide, sapphire lashes dusting his cheeks every time he blinked. The girls gushed gooey nonsense words of how adorable he was until Hiruzen thought he might vomit the conversation out an ear.

"Can someone tell me why we're watching this kid again?" groaned the Sarutobi.

"C'mon, Hiruzen," sighed Biwako, "don't talk that way. This is your sensei's kid, after all!"

"Obviously, Sensei is lacking some common sense," quipped Hiruzen. "He's leaving his son in the care of…_us_."

Several snorted at this, but no one really had an answer that would satisfy Hiruzen. There were several more things Hiruzen worried about that involved this baby. First was the obvious, that Tobirama had made some grave mistake in leaving his children to a bunch of rowdy chuunin (and maybe one jounin — Aki was there, wasn't he?) who might somehow drop the poor blue-haired baby off Hashirama's nose on Hokage Mountain. That, and Shiro had the misconception that simply because the baby was Tobirama's, it could fly, and thus dropping it off the mountain would do it no harm. Mariko probably would have screamed and hid in a closet with her son if she'd heard this.

Secondly, they had no clue how to take care of a kid. Maybe the girls had some experience, but the rest of the boys were crowded around like idiots. Hiruzen would say that they looked like monkeys, but that didn't mix too well with his name, so he dropped it. Koharu might just tell them they were all monkeys in the first place.

The third problem was Biwako. She was having too much of a good time for Hiruzen to be comfortable sticking around this blue baby. Just one look at how _happy_ she was with the child made his stomach squeak pitifully, and if he didn't calm himself, the next words he uttered would sound like those of a prepubescent boy trying to find his voice. Biwako liked children. Maybe Biwako actually _wanted_ children.

Then again, Sarutobi Hiruzen was thinking way too far ahead, and that wasn't his usual way to go. He didn't like it; it gave him a headache.

And thus, he veered away from this third, worrisome issue and continued harping on the dangers of leaving a child in the hands of his Academy classmates.

"He's so cute!" someone kept saying. It must've been one of Biwako's friends, that one Yamanaka with impossibly long blonde hair. She and Biwako were having a fantastic time handing Takeshi different toys from a small stack of baby items. Takeshi seemed to be fond of the alphabet blocks. _Oh the alphabet blocks_.

Hiruzen gagged, and then gagged again when Koharu's stern face broke into a momentary smile. His dear teammate Koharu, who could be tough as nails yet have a soft spot for their own sensei. She had long since gotten over her girl's crush on their sensei — though everyone still had to agree that the spectacularly handsome, white-haired Senju was still stunning as ever — and she had ceased blushing whenever he came close. Now, her blush was reserved for a snarky Uchiha who had too many witty remarks for his own good.

Even so, Koharu smiling at Senju Takeshi was too much for Hiruzen to bear. He'd hoped that the mushy side of Koharu — a side that scared him more than the fearsome, glaring one — had melted away, leaving only her typical self. He was wrong. A strange creature overtook Koharu then, and herded her into the crowd of gushing, lovey-dovey girls vying for a chance to hold Takeshi's chubby little hands or squeeze his round cheeks.

Suddenly, Danzo made a move forward and kneeled before the child. Takeshi gurgled happily and stretched his short little arms towards the shinobi. The girls had a collective "awww!" moment when Danzo easily scooped the child into his arms, and all that was seen was a blue head of giggles.

"Well, Hiruzen," Danzo said simply, "_I_ was assigned to take care of this child along with Biwako and Akane. As for the rest of you, I have no idea why you're here."

"Why would they assign _you_?" snorted Shiro.

"I think it's because he's actually smart," deadpanned Koharu. Aki put a hand over his mouth momentarily, to stifle a laugh. Shiro sulked, folding his arms and scuttling next to Hiruzen and matching the other boy's glare.

"DADA!" cried Takeshi out of the blue. He began to flail, and if flailing was a shinobi technique, Takeshi would have excelled at it. It appeared that the boy had the acute sensory abilities of his father, for he had perceived the man himself coming to the building about thirty seconds before he actually did. Such an ability was both admired and feared — a boy, about a year old, with sensory abilities rivaling that of Hiruzen's? Hiruzen wasn't sure he liked this.

Tobirama came into the room then, grinning when he saw his son. The moment someone saw the Hokage's brother smile, they either followed suit or backed away slowly. Nowadays, the stress levels in the Hokage Tower reached unprecedented peaks, and Tobirama was known to be rather violent with his temper, even when Hashirama at the desk told him to calm down. The students knew exactly the consequences of angering the white-haired Senju. A simple finger twitch could send you crashing into the Hokage Mountain and splintering off Hashirama's nose (which seemed to be traumatized all the time). Not a pleasant sensation, for both unfortunate victim and the stone's nose.

"Thanks for sticking around, Danzo," said the Hokage's brother, taking his baby from the boy's hands. Danzo smiled demurely, an expression that startled the entire group. Then, promptly the boy with the x-shaped scar patted the blue baby's head fondly, and then sauntered out of the room as if nothing had happened. His teammates, Kagami and Torifu, gaped at the now-empty doorway.

Meanwhile, Tobirama cradled his son and cooed to it. The room became a chorus of pigeons, cooing left and right and up and down, with Tobirama as the pigeon conductor. A choir of bird girls crowded around and watched as the baby reached up and patted Tobirama's face excitedly. His arms waved emphatically, his tubby little fingers failing to grasp his father's face guard. When Takeshi hit Tobirama's mouth and tried grabbing his father's lip, Tobirama made a spluttering noise, and the child giggled happily. The concert of pigeons revived its volume, Biwako and her Yamanaka friend the loudest. Even Koharu had to melt into her funny little smile again, causing Homura to cough awkwardly and Hiruzen to turn away.

Tobirama looked up.

"Um. What are you all doing here?" He made a face, one that scattered half the boys but didn't do a thing to deter the girls. The magnet that was Senju Takeshi was far too strong. Inwardly, Tobirama could only wonder why his baby was so interesting, while everyone stayed away from Hashirama's son. His answer came instantly — no one, not even the girls, messed with Mito and her offspring. No one. The Kyuubi itself settled down from its fuss after Mito demonstrated her rage at its attempted to claim the baby from the womb.

_Dear Nine-tailed Fox: attempting to threaten Mito's baby may result in death. And you will _not_ revive._

"He's so cute!" gushed Biwako for what must've been the fiftieth time. Usually, Biwako was quite sensible and would be moderate about such things. But it seemed that the epic powers of young Takeshi were too much, even for her. "He's got Sensei's eyes and his mother's hair!"

"Blue cotton candy," Torifu chirped, evoking a ripple of laughter among the group. Leave it to the Akimichi to name the child some sort of edible object.

"Babies are evil," Hiruzen muttered.

"I wonder who he'll be more like," Koharu wondered aloud. Everyone paused, and there was an awkward silence, followed by Tobirama's eyes smoothly gliding over to meet Koharu's with a quirk of his brow. Koharu flushed and then shifted uncomfortably. Tobirama cracked a small grin and then bounced his baby in his arms. Takeshi gurgled.

"He _is_ cute," the Senju murmured to himself. "Well, see you later, guys. Toka's looking for Kagami, by the way." Before he exited, Tobirama added, "Kagami, if she asks you anything about me, start running."

They all stared at him.

* * *

Tobirama was angry. A series of events had led to this anger, and it was such a long, tedious chain that no one bothered to even reason out the entire process anymore. If Tobirama was angry, he usually had a good reason.

"Why didn't you _tell_ me?" he demanded.

"I didn't know," defended Mariko, looking rather dejected.

The three former students awkwardly posed off to the side tried to blend into the background as well as they could. They failed, especially when Hiruzen sneezed.

"Then how come Toka said that you finished?" asked the Senju. His wife shrugged. "Mariko, don't just shrug at me."

"I told you, I _don't know_."

"Mariko—"

The blunette grabbed their child and began to exit the room. Tobirama caught her arm and swept the baby from her arms.

"Explain," he demanded. She looked hopeless, as if she couldn't understand why in the world Tobirama wasn't accepting her answer. This was quite normal, for Mariko still did not quite understand the ways of men, especially since the answers they wanted were far too difficult to answer. "And you can't take Takeshi with you."

"Why not?"

"Just because you have to tell me what happened this morning."

"I promised Takeshi I'd take him to the park."

"And he answered you?" Tobirama looked skeptical. The most Takeshi really did was nod, tug at sleeves, yell for his mommy or daddy, do baby things, or just cry. He was cute even when he cried. And at the moment, the look of distress on his face was enough to draw both parents out of their conversation to calm him down. But the baby was vehemently pushing at his father's chest and reaching for his mommy.

"See?" Mariko folded her arms and frowned at the Senju.

"See what?"

The blunette rolled her eyes and opened her arms, ordering her husband to hand over the child. Takeshi glanced up at his father with big, watery eyes. It was super effective.

"Fine." The child was passed to his mother, and then there was a silence. "You really don't know?"

"Tobirama, seriously? I wasn't even _there_. Why are you so stubborn?"

"But you know what happened."

"I _don't_."

"You do?"

"Just come here." Mariko tugged his hand and they set off to the park, the magical land of slides and swings that Takeshi was not old enough to go on alone. This was awkward, because Mariko's desire to talk to her husband at the park (specifically) left the three chuunin standing in the room, left alone.

"Why were we here again?" asked Hiruzen.

"I forget," said Koharu. "Homura?"

The smart, bespectacled member of the group shrugged.

* * *

Sometimes, Tobirama regretted having a child. That blue-haired son of his would wake them at any time he wished, any hour of the night, sometimes very inconveniently. He had his own little room, a nursery, filled with prettily painted skies and little boy belongings left and right. The parents had no need for a baby monitor, because they had two other ways of discovering their son's cries. One: he was loud. Two: Tobirama the sensor made for a great baby monitor.

Tobirama the sensor swore when he felt a shift in the baby's presence, the little energies of the child forming a shape that attempted to stand and kick at the cradle bars. Then, he started crying.

"Is it Takeshi?" murmured Mariko, beneath him. Tobirama sighed, unwilling to move away from his awfully favorable position, wishing he could just continue his pleasurable activities with his wife. But of course, he knew he had to go check on the boy. That, and Mariko was already crawling out from under him and wrapping sheets around her bare torso. "I'll go check," she said, hobbling away with a bundle of blankets, looking ridiculous.

Takeshi continued crying for his momma, who gently lifted him into her arms and hushed him gently. Eventually, after about thirty minutes, he was lulled back to sleep with an old Hurricane lullaby, and Mariko crawled back into bed. By then, Tobirama was already half asleep, lying there dejectedly.

"You look pathetic."

"Thanks, Shorty."

* * *

If Hiruzen looked ridiculous in an apron making pancakes, then Danzo looked even more so. The young teen had donned one of Mito's stylish aprons, and was attempting to carry something out of the oven with bright pink oven mitts (courtesy of Mariko). As if this sight weren't odd enough, the rest of Team Toka combated with the bizarre set of people currently seated at the dining table – Aki, who played with Takeshi's hands, half-asleep Hashirama, a group of strangers (semi-strangers, that is), Mito, and the baby's parents.

The group of strangers who were not really strangers showed off their proud, Sunagakure hitai-ate. The leader of the group, a tall man who was famous for his puppet ninjutsu, Chikamatsu Monzaemon, looked rather comfortable sipping Konoha tea that bright morning. Meanwhile, Sunagakure's future Third Kazekage, his teammates Chiyo and her brother Ebizo, found themselves awfully amused by baby Takeshi.

(Kagami swore that if Chiyo started gushing baby nonsense, he would run away.)

Why Aki was at the table, no one was quite sure.

"Mama," gurgled Takeshi. Chiyo cooed, and Kagami cringed. Mariko held out her hand to the baby, who grasped his mother's index finger gleefully. Mito set down a bouquet of flowers from the Yamanaka shop downtown on the table, and Takeshi's eyes widened comically. He then glanced up at Mito, and attempted to say the word _spicy_, but it came out more like "spy-dee". Mito laughed and touched the boy's head fondly – ever since he'd accidentally eaten a spicy pepper (no one knows how, but they all blamed Hiruzen) he'd begun to associate red, spicy things with Mito's hair, and tried calling her Aunt Spicy after learning the word.

Meanwhile, Takeshi was learning a variety of easy words to call family members and other friends. Hashirama was Uncle Tree (which sounded like "Twee", a name that sent just about anybody rolling in laughter), and Toka was Aunt "Doka", because he melded the _T _sound. In short, Takeshi just tried saying everyone's name and failed at it, because his little baby tongue couldn't pronounce all the sounds. He especially couldn't say Hiruzen's name, so he resulted to just giggling and pointing.

Other comical names included: "Kowahu" for Koharu, "Homa" for Homura, and "Gagami" for Kagami. The only person's name he could pronounce was probably Aki, and even then, it sounded quite distorted. Not that anyone minded; he was too adorable for anyone to care.

"So, Monzaemon," a tired Hashirama was saying. They began dealing with some dreadfully tedious border issues, including a few rogue ninja bands and animal smuggling lines. Once the conversation was over, Monzaemon's team was bored out of their minds and taking partial naps, while Danzo continued whatever it was that he was doing. The two leftovers of Team Toka had seated themselves on either side of Aki, and were currently trying to have a coherent conversation with the baby.

Tobirama wondered if everyone had gone nuts, because when Danzo set down a beautiful stack of pancakes before them and Aki set his Byakugan on it, the white-haired Senju was sure that everyone had lost their minds.

"Aki, why are you here?" he demanded.

"I'm watching your baby, remember?" Pearled Hyuuga eyes shifted from the blue-haired little boy to the father.

"You are?"

"I am."

"I thought Danzo was."

Everyone turned to look at Danzo.

"Danzo's got a new assignment," explained Mito. She must've been referring to the new ANBU operations that were underway. Tobirama glanced at the young chuunin – no, the recently-promoted jounin – and nodded.

"So then, what's going on here?" asked Tobirama.

At that moment, no one could give him an answer, because as soon as Hiruzen stepped through the door, and ear-splitting baby's wail cut through the air.

The Boogieman of Konoha had arrived.

* * *

A good-looking man is good-looking. He draws the stares of women his way, accompanied by appreciative eyeing and whispered compliments. But a good-looking man toting his baby evokes a choir of cooing pigeons from out of nowhere.

And so, Tobirama, carrying his hardly one-year-old son, sets out to buy groceries because if he doesn't, Mito might kill him.

The grocer, a middle-aged woman, stared at him for a few moments. Then, blinking, she smiled sweetly and scanned all his items, naming the bill to be paid. But her eyes were glued to the blue-haired boy, who shyly ducked away from sight, tucking his face into his father's fur collar. Big, claret eyes glanced warily at the grocer, who waved her fingers at him. The boy hid back into his father's shirt.

"He's shy," chuckled Tobirama, hoisting about ten grocery bags into one hand, his other occupied with his son.

Absently, the grocer said, "You should buy one of those baby harnesses."

"He would cry," sighed the father. "We've tried."

This, the grocer found inexplicably adorable, and as the Hokage's brother sauntered out the door, the boy popped his head up and giggled.

Once outside, Takeshi squirmed in his father's arms and turned so that he could pat the face guard hitai-ate. The plate was cool against his soft palms, and he took no heed of Tobirama's discomfort. While this action annoyed the Senju to no end, Takeshi found it fun, and the people around them immensely enjoyed this adorable little exchange of baby's patting and father's wincing.

Takeshi smacked at Tobirama's nose with his little hands. Tobirama made a face; it was a face similar to the one he always gave Mariko when the stubborn blunette princess refused to stop poking him in the stomach.

Then, Takeshi went still, his eyes wide and his face pale. The baby began to wail pitifully, clutching at Tobirama's fur collar and trying to burrow inside the jacket desperately. Tobirama glanced around, and found Hiruzen frozen outside the bakery, looking rather terrified because the sudden scream had startled him.

"Shhh," Tobirama chided gently, "It's just Saru."

Takeshi whimpered.

"He's your Uncle Saru, he's not scary at all," crooned the Senju. Around him, women's eyes went starry as the tall, white-haired shinobi set down his grocery's and bounced the baby gently in his arms, patting his hair lovingly. "Uncle Saru's not scary."

Takeshi shook his head, so vehemently that his blue hair flopped like a Hyuuga Kaiten. Meanwhile, Hiruzen was attempting to creep past, and the closer he got, the more Takeshi trembled.

"Your kid hates me," Hiruzen hissed. At his voice, Takeshi started and buried his face into Tobirama's collar.

"Rocks, Saru," snapped Tobirama. "If the baby's scared of you, then _ go the other way_."

"Didn't you just say Uncle Saru's not scary?"

"You're so idiotic, it's terrifying," deadpanned the boy's former sensei, rolling his eyes. When Tobirama turned to face Hiruzen, Takeshi made a noise that sounded like Mariko yelping and squealing at the same time, which amused everyone around them.

"Come _on_," exclaimed Hiruzen, exasperated. "Even Biwako's mad at me because I can't go anywhere that involves that…_demon_."

At this, Tobirama glared, and Hiruzen kicked the dirt sheepishly. He hadn't really meant what he said; he was just frustrated that the baby liked everyone but him. Why was that? The baby had no problem with Kagami, who was probably the most evil of them all (a logic that should be questioned), and did not react to Mito, who had a nine-tailed beast sealed inside her.

But Tobirama simply gathered his groceries, hoisted the baby higher and readjusted his grip, heading home. Hiruzen slunk away, crestfallen.

* * *

If there was anything Tobirama wanted to come home to, it was peace. He remembered one day when he returned from a long, gruesome mission, and all he wished for was a hot shower, some quiet, and to catch up on his sleep. Upon entering his room – it was late at night, past midnight when he came home – he found his wife and son curled up in the bed, their breathing slow and steady as was in sleep. He smiled at this, shedding his grimy armor and pausing to watch them for a few moments. Peaceful.

But that hardly happened.

For one, he wanted to know why in the world Mito was trying to hit Hashirama in the head with a frying pan, and whatever the reason was, could she please stop smacking things in the vicinity of the children?

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" hissed Mito. Hashirama cringed and apologized fervently, begging Mito to stop. The redhead was off on one of her raging mood swings, and was not about to let her husband get away with a simple apology. Tobirama did not want to know what happened.

On the other hand, there were three members of former Team Tobirama crouching under the dining table, for fear that they might be maimed in this battle of kitchenware. Koharu looked peeved, hugging her knees and tempted to stab Hiruzen with a hairpin for no apparent reason. She'd learned that Mito had once used a hairpin to strip a man of his man's title. She sort of liked that threatening idea.

Homura, on the other hand, had closed his eyes, a headache pounding at his skull. It seemed like he had an eternal migraine with these people…

Hiruzen, lastly, was trying not to let the baby know that he was in the room. He completely and utterly failed, because the baby was already crying, Tobirama-sensei had stormed into the room, Mariko was nowhere in sight, and there was also the matter of Mito, chasing Hashirama around the table. For a moment, the Senju were far more insane than the Uchiha.

"It's all a conspiracy," groaned Tobirama.

_What?_

The blue boy babbled nonsense. It went along the lines of:

"Dada be Momma Spy-thee under table boooooooooogie."

Which translated roughly to: "Daddy, where's Mommy? Why is Aunt Mito mad? Hiruzen is under the table."

How Tobirama understood this was beyond his students (though it was quite impressive the number of words that one-year-old could say). Nonetheless, he stooped over and found his old team huddled under the dining table, smiling sheepishly. Takeshi, sitting on the kitchen counter – a dangerous place for a baby – wiggled his arms and gestured wildly at Hiruzen, despite not being able to see him through the tablecloth.

"I got it, Takeshi, Saru's under the table." Takeshi slapped Tobirama's face guard when he was picked up. "Ow. Stop it. No, I _know_ he's under the table. No, Takeshi, Saru can stay there, it's okay."

Team Tobirama gaped at their teacher, because he was talking baby talk in a baby talk voice to his baby. If this wasn't confusing enough, he began blubbering and cooing at the baby, especially when Takeshi giggled and hugged Tobirama's fur collar.

"Hey now, don't eat my collar," scolded Tobirama, pulling the baby away from his chest and holding the giggling child out in front of him. "Ridiculous child," he clucked, before scooping Takeshi into a swing made of his arms. "Going to eat Daddy's armor next?"

"Dada," squealed the boy.

Koharu went starry-eyed, Homura contemplated if the baby evoked parental effects from his father, and Hiruzen thought that a blue-haired demon had stolen the soul of Tobirama and replaced him with some foreign spirit.

"Your teeth would break," Tobirama continued. "You don't have very many, though…"

"STUPID HASHIRAMA!" screeched Mito, causing the Hokage to duck under the table along with Tobirama's team. If anyone was paying attention to their argument (one-sided argument), they would have heard something about forgetting to bring Mito her lunch, as well as switching her lunch with their son's. Oh well.

"Takeshi, you're the most giggly boy ever," gushed Tobirama. Hiruzen was tempted to draw a kunai. However, as soon as he did, Takeshi's scarlet-eyed, blue-haired essence of happiness melted into pure horror. Hiruzen swore at the boy's inheritance of his father's sensory abilities. He was awfully good at it, too. "Takeshi?" murmured Tobirama, hugging the boy to his chest. "What's up, bud?"

"BOOOOGIE," wailed the boy, eyes watery. Tobirama turned and peered under the table, where Koharu stretched out wobbly arms and stumbled dreamily towards the baby and his father. Her former sensei adeptly side-stepped, avoiding the faraway-minded girl. Homura scuttled out from under the table and retreated to a corner where he would not be involved in the following exchange, nor would he obstruct the path of Mito's angry frying pan.

"Saru, seriously."

"I'm not doing anything!" exclaimed the monkey boy, throwing his hands up. This effectively startled Takeshi, whose eyes went impossibly round. He did the funny thing that babies do when startled – make a face and stare, mouth slightly agape, cheeks round.

And then he started wailing into his father's jacket.

"Saru!" hissed Tobirama, and then more softly: "Shh, buddy, it's okay. Saru's not scary." A pointed glare at Hiruzen. Tobirama began rocking his son back and forth, then bouncing the baby gently and humming to calm him.

"It's not my fault your son is over-sensitive," grumbled Hiruzen, folding his arms.

"One day, Saru, maybe you'll have a kid and your student will scare the shit out of him," retorted Tobirama, planting a kiss on Takeshi's forehead and letting the boy whimper into his chest. Big, garnet eyes looked up to matching ones, and the baby ventured a small smile. Tobirama, so taken by his own baby's cuteness, cooed at him.

Hiruzen groaned.

* * *

"Hello children, how are you doing in the Academy?" asked the Third Hokage, come to visit his precious children – for all the children of Konoha were part of his family. The Academy teacher twitched; he looked like he had been about to leap in fright, but refrained from doing so in front of his students. He wore a bandanna of a hitai-ate, but his hair was recognizable nonetheless.

"Hokage-sama!" the children cheered. "Sensei, it's the Hokage!"

"I see," said their instructor tightly. "Hello, Uncle Saru."

"You're doing a fine job, Takeshi."

Under his breath, Takeshi murmured _boogie_ to his sister, who was bringing in the young future kunoichi. She rolled her eyes at him exasperatedly, and told him he was silly.

"Takeshi, you idiot," she sneered, but in a friendly, sisterly manner.

"Rocks," mumbled the blue-haired shinobi.

Sarutobi Hiruzen, Third Hokage of Konoha, wondered if this child had never outgrown his irrational fear of Uncle Saru the Boogieman.

* * *

"What's his name?" asked Tsunade.

"Asuma. Sarutobi Asuma," said Biwako proudly, cradling her newborn child in her arms. The child's brother peeked over his mother's shoulder curiously, accompanied by the father – the Third Hokage himself. The baby giggled as he was handed over to Hiruzen.

"OH HE'S CUTE!" Jiraiya exclaimed in a semi-quiet whisper; he could be sensitive sometimes too. Nonetheless, Asuma made a face of pure horror and wailed. Hiruzen's eyes widened as he looked from his baby to Jiraiya, and back.

"BOOGIE," cried Asuma.

Everyone stared at the child, and Hiruzen wondered how the heck his baby had learned such a word, and from where. He recalled a foreshadowing comment by his own teacher years and years earlier, warning him of a student that would forever terrify his children.

And there he had it.

Thank you, Jiraiya.

Quote: "Because white-haired people are awesome!" Cue a thumbs up at Tsunade, accompanied by a failed love confession, and a Mito-worthy punch.

* * *

A series of little happenings from the top of my head.

Hee hee.

Takeshi used giggle! It's super effective.

I had too much fun drawing him...also, my design for his sister is almost reminds me of someone from a tropical island, lol. Like Hawaii. Hawaiian flowers.


	37. Someday You Will Know

CIAOSSU!

New chapter, anyone?!

Tobirama...you...

So before, we thought that Kakko (the guy from Iwa who killed Obito, remember?) started the entire series of Naruto...

Well, you know what, part of the blame goes to our dear Senju Tobirama now. Stupid Madara goes nuts, and Tobirama just makes Madara more nuts.

Aaaand, because I just love Izuna so much (not really, but I feel like he was a gentle, curious character), he will forever be alive in my stories. Not.

Kagami, oh Kagami, I'm surprised Kagami doesn't hate you, Tobirama. In my story, anyway.

**Disclaimer: **Naruto doesn't belong to me, because Mito was a jinchuuriki and Tobirama killed Izuna. Though to be honest, that was kind of expected (sort of...yeah.)

"My brother died from that woundddd!" Lovely to know, Madara. This is coming from the man who denied mop-head's peace offering. Thanks a lot, love, mop-head.

**Note: **Something short and random. Daughter still doesn't have a name O.o.

This is not a serious chapter...whatsoever. lol. Except for maybe three sentences. =3=

* * *

**Chapter 37: ****Someday You Will Know**

"Someday, you will know."

Mysterious words, aren't they? Quite a tiring phrase, this one. Especially when it comes to certain topics. A serious shinobi may utter these words, either detailing a prophecy or as his last words to, say, a student or a child. Or, perhaps, they may be about other matters entirely. They may make you laugh, or blush, or cry, or just annoy you to no end. Whatever the case, Jiraiya would not be finding his answer any time soon.

"But _Tobirama-sama_," he wailed, "you _have _to tell me how you did it!"

"Did what?"

"You know!"

"What do I know?" Feigning complete ignorance, the Second Hokage sat on a park bench, accompanied by his student's students – a favor that Hiruzen would forever be indebted to – and looking completely and utterly bored. In truth, he was not so much bored as annoyed; if that Saru had not gotten sick, Tobirama would not be sitting here (though it freed him of his office work temporarily).

Stuck with a bunch of little kids – he had no idea how old they were. What, five? Why in the world were they in a shinobi team if they were _five years old_? – Tobirama sighed. He supposed that it was because this batch was a trouble-making group, and thus needed the guidance of a not-yet-an-adult sort of monkey.

A goose honked loudly, and startled the living daylights out of Orochimaru. This, Tobirama thought, was incredibly funny, though he held his laughter under a mask of practiced stoniness. The boy must've jumped three feet in the air – impressive for a five-year-old – and his shoulder-length curtain of ebony hair draped its way over his face, covering everything but his nose, which peeked out from behind it all.

"UNCLE THAT WAS A GOOSE."

"I see," Tobirama answered, arching a brow when his great-niece clapped enthusiastically at the hoard of angry birds that honked unpleasantly at them. He preferred a pigeon choir over this any day, but the days of pigeon choirs seemed to be long over – that is, except when Takeshi bought his mother flowers on her birthday, and everyone around the Yamanaka shop cooed. On those days, Takeshi came back with bundle after blue bundle of sapphire to violet flowers, smiling hopefully. On his sister's birthday, he came back with a myriad of shiny stones from some place unknown to them all, because he knew how much she liked crystals. Some days, Tobirama wondered if his son had just robbed a jeweler, and was not at all reassured when Takeshi told him that there was a cave behind the waterfall behind the Inuzuka place.

"UNCLE."

If Tobirama were to lose his face, he would lose it by a number of people. Mito would deform his beautiful Senju features into something horridly unrecognizable, Madara – though deceased – would return from the grave (technically, his sketchy cave) and steal his eyes, some Frost Country priest would steal his hair, his nose and mouth might go to some crazy witch's home, and Tsunade would talk his ears off.

As she was now.

"UNCLE," she shouted again, unnecessarily loud. "TEACH ME HOW TO FLY."

At this, the still spooked Orochimaru nodded eagerly. Tobirama stared at all three of them, three five-year-olds that wanted to be ninja but could hardly string together thought processes that made any sense.

"Let's play a game," Jiraiya suggested. Immediately, the other two turned to him.

"What game?" asked Tsunade. "Hide-and-seek? Tag? Oh can we play that game where we have to get the flag, and we all run past a shark, and then we turn into seaweed? OH how about the one where you have to stop when the fox looks at you? No, wait, let's play the one game where you sit in a circle and we're all ducks and there has to be a goose who chases everyone…oh my gosh, GOOSE!"

And, miraculously, the conversation turned back to the proudly strutting flock of birds that were currently picking their way across the playground. Orochimaru shuddered and Jiraiya started naming the poor geese.

"That one's Sarutobi-sensei, that one's me, that one's Tsunade, that one's Hashirama-sama, that one's Sakumo, that one's Koharu-sensei, that one's—"

"All right, all right, what do you guys want to do?" interjected Tobirama before Jiraiya named all of Konoha.

"I want to fly," Tsunade said. "Can you fly, Uncle?"

"No, I can't."

Tsunade looked dejected. Then, quietly, Orochimaru added:

"Sarutobi-sensei said he knew a man that could fly."

Tobirama groaned inwardly. They were definitely referring to Onoki and Muu from Iwagakure, because those two could fly so easily that they tended to float away if they didn't pay attention. They took "staying grounded" very literally.

"I heard he has a big nose!" exclaimed Tsunade. Then, abruptly, "So are we playing duck-duck-goose or what? I don't want to turn into seaweed!"

Tobirama was not following at all. Though he would never put this unfortunate fate on anyone, he wished that Mariko was in his place at the moment. She and her bottomless well of patience – well, usually bottomless – would deal quite well with these children. Seeing as every day she dealt with a meek, blue-haired boy and a fussy daughter who took after her father too much, as well as the father himself, Mariko had quite the patience for all sorts of things. Her capacity for listening was larger than Konoha, which Tobirama was quite thankful for. (Though when she snapped, she was nearly as scary as Mito. A scary little blunette spouting flames instead of flowers.)

"NOT IT!" shouted Jiraiya.

"No, nose goes!" hissed Tsunade. She poked her nose with a stubby forefinger. Jiraiya followed suit at the same time as Orochimaru. They all looked at Tobirama, who was horrified that they wanted him to play with them. He played with his own children when they were small – he still occasionally accepted the offer of baseball with his son and badminton with his daughter, if they wanted – but he was stiff, tired, and not in the mood. At all. "UNCLE!" yelled Tsunade. "YOU'RE IT!"

"What are we playing, again?" Tobirama was tempted to leave a water clone, but then the poor water clone would be suffering. He wouldn't want himself to suffer, would he?

"TAG," Tsunade declared, completely contradicting herself. Wide eyes that mirrored Hashirama's childhood starriness made Tobirama apprehensive. Hashirama, who fell in puddles, directly translated to his granddaughter. How…lovely.

Tobirama stood and glanced at the three children. Maybe this would be a measure of their future shinobi prowess. Even so, he folded his arms and tried his best to exude his usual shinobi coldness. It didn't really work against children; he simply appeared to be thinking, or just not paying attention. The glare that scared the pants off the ANBU captain was useless against three five-year-olds waiting eagerly to play tag.

"You have forty seconds," Tobirama said. The children, squealing, scattered in all direction across the park. Jiraiya, unwisely, decided to take a headlong charge at the geese. Half of them scattered, some flew away, and still others honked and dove for him. Tobirama recalled one of Takeshi's encounters with geese. The poor child had been scared silly, and Hiruzen had made it worse when his laugh turned into a goose-like snort. A blue baby is cute, but a blue baby with wide eyes and a look of pure shock on his face is cuter. Such was Takeshi's dilemma; he was so cute when he was scared. And then he buried his face in Tobirama's collar, and everyone loves it when he buries his face in that fluffy collar, so everyone just cooed.

Forty seconds passed, and Tobirama sighed. He felt three presences at the edge of his range, and he wished that they were not there. If he had to justify himself to the two of them that would make fun of him for it, he would claim that he'd done the same thing when they were small too. The third one would just smile; she needed no explanation, she was just purely amused.

Tobirama scared the bejesus out of all three children, and Orochimaru nearly had a heart attack. The geese had scared him enough – he didn't need Tobirama whipping out of nowhere and blocking his path.

"Shall I tag you first and make you it?" asked the Senju. Wide-eyed, the child spun around and clambered into a tunnel at a surprisingly quick pace. The black-haired boy was seen scrambling through the park's jungle gym and vaulting down a slide at record speed. Tobirama looked around; his easiest target would be the other two, since Orochimaru was so slippery.

There was Jiraiya, who appeared to be clueless but was quite adept at bouncing out of reach at the last possible moment. That left Tsunade, granddaughter of a man who fell in puddles and had once been in danger of becoming the first human skipping stone by the Uchiha's hand. Tobirama decided that his grandniece would offer the easiest prey. After that, he'd easily stay out of their way.

Tsunade, who had a string of nonsense coming out of her mouth when Tobirama appeared in front of her, squealed and dove for cover. Hands reached for her, hoping to pull her quickly into the tunnel slide to safety, but Tobirama swept her up out of reach.

"You're it," he declared, putting her down and then leaping a safe distance away. Tsunade paused, quiet. Then, her Hashirama-like brightness turned into an expression of pure Mito, and Tobirama decided that this girl would be a fearsome kunoichi in the future. He leapt into a tree and waited.

"Dad, you're pathetic," snorted the white-haired girl who ambled up to the oak's base.

"You can't blame him," Takeshi amended gently. "They're pretty crazy."

"You should've seen him deal with _you two_," Mariko added, looking up into the tree. "He's done quite a good job."

"Mom, you say that, yet you haven't seen him train us."

"Oh, I think I've seen enough of his training style to know what happens," Mariko quipped lightly. Tobirama glared.

"Your mother's just angry she still can't stand on water."

"Really, Mom?"

The blunette folded her arms, and surpassed Madara-level glares and reached into a dangerous Mito altitude. Tobirama decided now would be a good time to see what in the world Team Hiruzen was doing.

"I'm not a shinobi," Mariko said flatly, as Tobirama casually sauntered back over to the park, dodging a few squealing children in the process.

"Hey Mom," said Takeshi. "Why does Dad never answer you?"

"He's just like that," snorted the younger sister, throwing her silvery hair over her shoulder. The girl's mother reached over and pinned the white locks back with a clip, because the girl's hair was forever obscuring her face. "Hey, stop it."

"Let people see your face," Mariko told her, as she always did.

"No."

"Hey Mom," Takeshi called again. "Is there a reason Dad's always trying to be serious?"

"He's not always serious," laughed the sister. "Did you see him just now?"

"No, I mean, why is he so…awkward?"

At this, Mariko burst out into laughter, touching her son's arm as she passed.

"It was never in his nature to be so kind," she mused aloud. "So I suppose that marrying me and having you two was the scariest thing that ever happened to him."

The children looked skeptical.

"I think Dad is jus awkward, period." The white-haired girl made a face.

"This is coming from someone who looks just like him," deadpanned Takeshi. Mariko marveled at how much each of them resembled their father. Tobirama's daughter had his mocking demeanor and attitude, while Takeshi was sweet to a fault – but at the same time, his sister was often very shy, and Takeshi had a streak of snarky obstinacy that wore Tobirama's essence all over it.

"That has nothing to do with anything," snapped the girl. When comfortable, she was vicious. More vicious than perhaps her Aunt Mito and Aunt Sumiko combined. One time, it took a Suiton to the face to get her to shut up, and that was at a point where even Tobirama could not take her teenage fuss anymore.

"Mom," Takeshi said. It seemed like he had an endless supply of questions for her. "Dad's been going to the cemetery, you know that?"

"I know."

"But it's nowhere near…you know." He was referring to his Uncle Hashirama's death, which was, in fact, in a different time of the year. During that time, their cousin would sit with his relatives in front of the Hokage memorial, and he would grow a lovely honey-colored birch altar for everyone to set flowers upon. Then, he would hug his daughter Tsunade to his chest with his fair-haired wife beside him, and they would sit silently, watching the wind blow the leaves through Konoha.

"It's a different occasion." Mariko watched her husband, glad that he could at least feign happiness when this was a hard time. He had visited Itama's grave that morning, she knew. She and Mito had waited patiently for him by the gates, nonintrusive, quiet. It would soon move to Izuna's passing, something he never spoke of. While Mariko would never learn the details until Mito recounted a story for her, she always had her suspicions that Tobirama had killed him.

"What occasion?" asked both children at once. Mariko considered telling them, then considered not. They would learn about their clan's history eventually.

"Someday, you will know."

"Mom!" cried her daughter exasperatedly. Fortunately for Mariko, they were blessed by an interruption in the form of Senju Tsunade, a hurtling ball of gold that crashed into the group squealing with delight.

"I can fly, I can fly!" she screamed when Tobirama scooped her into his arms and tossed her lightly into the air, catching her easily.

"Tobirama, _don't drop that child_," Mariko said emphatically.

"I've never dropped anyone's child," replied the Senju, one arm wrapped around a squirming grandniece, and the other around his son.

"Are you sure?" asked Tobirama's daughter. She folded her arms and arched her brow, looking dubious.

"I'm pretty sure I was dropped a few times," Takeshi commented plainly. Tobirama made a face, then went back to where Jiraiya and Orochimaru were currently debating their plan of attack on the white-haired Senju. "Have you ever dropped Mom?"

"From where?" Tobirama called over his shoulder.

"Not from where, _to where_," snapped Mariko. "In the river, that's where."

At this, a slight smirk graced Tobirama's face, and he rolled his eyes.

"Kids, why don't you teach your mom some interesting ninjutsu?"

At this, Takeshi cringed, because his talent for ninjutsu was no better than his mother's. He'd passed the Academy just fine, but he was a terrible shinobi and preferred a life of peace. Teaching kids and running a restaurant with his fiancée was good enough for him.

"All right," agreed the snow-topped daughter. "Mom, if you can't walk on water, try walking up a tree."

Mariko made a face.

"That's even worse."

"I CAN FLY!"

Mariko kindly declined her children's offer to teach her chakra control, and instead went to make sure that Tobirama didn't die by Mito's hand for dropping Tsunade in a puddle…or something.

"You _idiot_, you are going to die doing something stupid someday."

Tobirama tapped his face guard and simply threw her the smallest of grins.

* * *

At least the cause of war wasn't young Mito picking a flower and then another Obito-love-failure scenario.

I'm glad for that.

SHARINGGGAN. OOOOHHH. *wiggly arms* Tobirama was so badass this chapter, he even killed Izuna!

. . . wait a minute... =3=

Bwahaha. I'm not going to change Emeralds, though.

So pretend that Emeralds follows the storyline that is currently going cuckoo in my head, while this story somewhat follows each chapter...as in I'll add in the most random stuff ever. Old Konoha for the win.

(I'm hyper, can you tell? It's usually worse...be grateful any of this is comprehensible.)


	38. Individual

I now ship both Homura x Koharu and Kagami x Koharu, due to some amazing Japanese art site. Fail.

Um. So, Izuna's cafe. It's gorgeous. + mean Uchiha fathers. That's like the essence of clans: Mean fathers (except for some).

**Disclaimer: **Same old same old. You know the drill.

* * *

**Chapter 38: ****Individual**

"HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY."

If Koharu wanted _anything_, it was _not this_. If this continued, she would be deaf by Friday. It was Friday.

"PLEASE ACCEPT MY CHOCOLATES."

Wasn't this sort of backwards? Wasn't _she_ supposed to be the one giving chocolate to a boy, rather than a boy giving chocolate to her? And this boy, this loud, annoying, stubborn, stupid, idiotic, ridiculous, dark-haired, handsome Uchiha boy, why did he have to be offering in such a blunt, outlandish way? Why couldn't he be _normal_?

"KOHARU?"

"I can _hear_ you, you idiot!"

Poor Kagami could not tell Koharu that his ears were somewhat damaged from the mission he'd just returned from – a series of bombs so close and so loud that he'd nearly lost his hearing straight afterwards (luckily, it turned out to be temporary) – and that he didn't know he was talking too loud.

"SORRY?"

"Be _quieter_," hissed Koharu under her breath. Of course, Kagami could not hear her, but read her lips just find. ("Because I have a _Sharingan_," he would say proudly, sounding far too much like his ex-clan leader than he should have.)

"DO YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE?"

"Didn't I just tell you to shut up?!" Koharu, who rarely had her hair down, was on the verge of losing her hairpins from her vehement whipping around and snapping at her boyfriend. Kagami didn't really mind; he thought she was terribly pretty with her hair down. Well, at least that's what he supposed – he'd never really seen her out of her characteristic twin buns stabbed through with a needle. Everyone feared that needle.

"THERE IS THAT CAFÉ THAT YOU LIKE, RIGHT?"

Uchiha are blind, _and_ stupid, Koharu thought grumpily. It was no wonder that Tobirama-sensei wanted to kill them.

Quite a negative, almost evil thought, but that was just Koharu. Even when she was an old, old lady, she and Danzo would forever pick on the Uchiha. Though Danzo would die by the hands of two of them, and she'd click her tongue and sip her tea, overlooking a destroyed Konoha with distaste.

She would also never forgive Kagami for dying, either.

She never forgave anyone for dying. Koharu vowed that until she, too, reached her deathbed, she would stubbornly hold onto those dear to her, even if that meant it was in terms of never allowing forgiveness. Tobirama, sacrificing himself – she would cry that he was a stupid teacher at his grave until her team embraced her and they sat there for hours. Torifu and Biwako, dying the night of the Uzumaki child's birth. Biwako, her best friend. Kagami by his own clansman, the night of the Uchiha Massacre. Hiruzen by his own student's hand. Thatidiot had been the worst. Who else was left? Shiro had long since sacrificed himself in a mission; she'd been there. For that one, Koharu didn't think she would forgive _herself_. And even Chiyo, who had traded her life for that of the young Kazekage. Was there anyone left who held their ideals and never let go? The Kages of the current day – all of them believed in a flimsy, fluttering ideal called faith. Tsunade had faith that the Uzumaki boy would prevail. And if he didn't? If the village was destroyed more than it already was?

If there was anyone who understood her, it was Homura. He sat beside her, old and tired, sipping tea and shouldering the brunt of her sadness for her.

"KOHARU?"

"I _hear_ you!"

"UH, YOU KNOW, IZUNA-SAMA REALLY LIKED THIS PLACE. YOU WANT TO GO THERE?" He was now pointing at a small café, one that Koharu recalled going to maybe a year or so ago. It had been renovated and expanded, looking brisk and modern. Koharu vaguely wondered how in the world Izuna could have enjoyed this café if he'd been dead before Konoha's establishment. "THEY HAVE GREAT PASTA."

This was the idiot that would charm her for a period of Rikudo Sennin knows how long, even in old age, unmarried, and still joking about marrying her like he was sixteen. He was everyone's favorite uncle.

"KOHARU?"

How many times was that now?

"What." The girl folded her arms in an attempt to channel her sensei's staunch attitude. What with her Mito-like demeanor and her practiced Tobirama-face, she was quite the frightening girl. Unfazed, Kagami's face morphed into that of an ignored puppy, forlorn and a little bit wistful.

If he thought he could melt her today (with his amazing puppy eyes that outdid his Sharingan by far and his attempt at homemade chocolate) then he was wrong.

Or was he right?

Koharu had this inner debate for a span of approximately three seconds, before Kagami snapped to attention and went stiff as a board. Koharu turned to see what had occurred, and found herself nearly running into Kagami's father – the most likely candidate for the next Uchiha head, now that there was a wave of dissent for Madara's support. And, as all of their class knew, Uchiha Kagami's father was not the nicest nor was he the most lenient father out there. If one had a compassion radar, nothing would come up. Ice cold.

"Pardon me," Koharu said lightly, pretending to be a passerby that bumped into him on accident. During these moments, Kagami always asked whoever was around him to casually make an escape, for something negative was bound to occur.

If Kagami's father even noticed her presence, he gave no sign. A ways behind him, his wife and daughter – Kagami's little sister Hansha, named _reflection_ after Kagami's _mirror_ – waited patiently. Koharu wondered if the Uchiha advisor was going to blow up at his son, as she'd seen him do before.

"Care to explain?" The Uchiha shoved a bag of failed chocolates at Kagami's chest. "Didn't you tell me you were out training last night, while I was dealing with clan issues?"

"Yes, sir." Kagami's fingers wrapped around the plastic bag fiercely, as if it was the only way he could relieve his tension. Koharu recalled a time when Hiruzen had leapt in bravely, trying to play the protagonist and help Kagami out of his debacle. The results were disastrous. It was as if Hiruzen had forgotten that Tobirama-sensei didn't need any more incentive to bring hell down on the Uchiha, one way or the other. Kagami's father had flown into a rage; a memory everyone would rather push aside.

"And where were you?"

"Training, sir."

Kagami stood his ground when his father slapped him across the face. Koharu was proud of him; he hardly wavered. The young Uchiha was nearly his father's height, and looking to be more broad and handsome as well.

Behind her mother, young Hansha cringed and clutched her dress.

"Don't lie to me," snapped their father.

"Father," Kagami said calmly. "You're scaring Hansha. Please."

"I don't care what it is you're doing," Kagami's father told him in a low voice, gesturing to the bag, "but you _don't lie to me_. Ever."

"Yes, sir."

"Do you follow?"

"…Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes, sir." Kagami glowered, and as soon as his father turned around, the Sharingan came out like a blazing sword from its sheath. It was a bad choice, because the angry chakra he emitted was immediately detected by his father, who whipped around and closed the gap between them in two strides. Kagami was taken by the collar as his father glowered at him.

No words passed between father and son, only an exchange of scarlet eyes in a piercing staredown.

"Sharingan away, boy," his father hissed. "You are disrespecting your family by turning your eyes against them."

Kagami said nothing, only brusquely shook his father off of him. His father looked like he wanted to smack the boy one last time, but little Hansha – a round little girl with pigtails and a lovely pink dress – had leapt in front of him and was clutching her brother's leg. His father's hand lowered.

With that, Kagami's family retreated to whatever it was they'd intended on doing besides scold the eldest son, dragging Hansha with them.

"Uchiha."

Koharu, in the corner, turned to see another person addressing Kagami. Danzo emerged from the shadows, clapped a hand on his teammate's shoulder, and murmured something in his ear. Kagami cracked a smile and gave Danzo a halfhearted slap on the back.

"So you _can_ be funny," Kagami called after him. Danzo shrugged, and then was nearly tackled by Hiruzen and Shiro, dressed as a monkey and a dog respectively, out of the blue. The Shimura danced out of the way as Hiruzen hooted and began a ridiculous game of tag, claiming that Shiro was "it". And thus, a ludicrous chase of chuunin, dog, and monkey began.

"What…the heck is that." Kagami, shoulders slumping slightly, gazed after his friends. His face held a hint of amusement, a little bit befuddled, but mostly sad. He once had that freedom, a young genin who bounced about like the world was his. Now, going for a jounin title, he had his clan's name to wear on his back.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You're not yelling anymore."

"WHAT WAS THAT?" Kagami grinned, then. Koharu wondered if he'd been faking a loud voice problem or had somehow miraculously recovered. At the same time, she watched his eyes carefully. Dark brown, almost black, like pools of ebony that could mysteriously swirl into a scarlet Sharingan. They were sad, filled with an unspoken anxiety that he kept guarded from everyone. She touched his arm.

"Let's go to that café," she told him softly.

He smiled at her, gently. Gratefully.

* * *

Something happened here... O.o

Behold, brain-rambling. Not quite stream-of-consciousness, but still rambling.


	39. Paperwork

Behold, the magic of the Naruto universe, my imagination, and a warped timeline!

OH! **NOTE: **Their daughter has a name! Kori. (= ice)

Fullbuster somewhat influenced me...thanks Gray. (chuckle)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because if what I wrote was real, I'd be Hiraishingiri'd within the span of three seconds. And yes, Minato, you and Tobirama have something in common. No, it is not Obitopede. Actually, maybe it is...

The evils of procrastination and homework have spurred this to my imagination...

* * *

**Chapter 39: Paperwork**

Paperwork.

If there existed something worse than vengeful Uchihas awakening their Sharingan eyes via devastating issues with their love lives, it might as well have been paperwork. Even the Hyuuga head had to complain once in a while about the numerous documents that passed his desk. Tobirama, for one, never quite understood his brother's complaints until he himself sat in that seat and stared down the ominous tower of papers that loomed before him. The pile – which, standing alone on the ground, would have towered over Mariko – seemed to leer at him mockingly.

_You can't finish me_.

Tobirama glared at the paperwork, then glanced at Danzo, who was standing at attention before the Hokage's desk, waiting for orders. The poor boy had been standing still for a few minutes, wondering why in the world the Hokage was not saying a word. Tobirama's eyes flickered from Danzo, to the paperwork, to his desk, then back to the paperwork. Danzo vaguely wondered if the white-haired Senju was having a debate with himself – to do paperwork, or not to do paperwork?

"Danzo," Tobirama finally said, slowly and deliberately. The name came out gratingly, and for some reason made the lanky teenager wince. It was as if he was being pushed through a cheese grater (at least, his name was), and then rolling out in smooth, flat little chunks in a bowl. Perhaps he would have felt better if the grater had been grating, say, a cucumber. Crisp and sharp. Then again, he grimaced at this thought too.

"Yes, sir," replied the boy.

"I have assigned you…" Tobirama trailed off, because he seemed to be again in deep thought. Danzo had a sudden consideration: What if the Hokage was sick? This was rather uncharacteristic of Tobirama, to be so distracted and off-task. Perhaps it was due to a cold or flu that was creating a hazy fog in his mind, thus hindering his ability to concentrate. Maybe he was hallucinating. What if he thought the pack of papers was an enemy ninja trying to camouflage himself? Things might start popping out at him, and Tobirama might leap on his desk and fend off an invisible enemy.

But Danzo got carried away often with suspicions. So he kept quiet.

_You have assigned me…?_ Danzo wondered to himself.

"An A-rank…" Tobirama didn't even say the word _mission_; he'd turned to the papers again. "Mariko."

_Mariko? An A-rank Mariko?_ Danzo knew that the Senju was trying to link together something about his wife – most likely he wanted Danzo to summon her before he left – but was too jumbled to end his first thought and start his second separately. This simply supported Danzo's theory that the Hokage was too tired and a little bit sick; maybe he should have his temperature checked? Tobirama was usually stoic, strict, and succinct, a man of action who didn't delay. Obviously, that man was a little lost, because his mind was wandering quite aimlessly around the room. So lost was the Hokage that Danzo had this little feeling that irked him, the feeling that a presence was meandering around the office. Tobirama's mind was nowhere near Danzo's assignment, and Danzo was too humble to point it out.

Tobirama gestured, opened his mouth, and then closed it again. He was trying to think of something to say?

"Hokage-sama. My A-rank mission?" Danzo supplied softly. Tobirama simply pushed a scroll his way, and he picked it up. Sighing, Danzo apprehensively suspected that this would not be his mission, and his suspicions were proved correct when he unraveled a grocery list about five miles long. "Hokage-sama. This is your grocery list."

Tobirama frowned and swore softly under his breath.

"Sorry, Danzo, it must be this one."

The next scroll was clearly marked _Mission_ and even had Danzo's name on it. Danzo accepted the assignment and read over it briefly, before turning back to Tobirama. While he read, another thought irked him – Tobirama didn't simply apologize so easily. Now he was seriously concerned that their Hokage was not feeling well.

"Hokage-sama," Danzo said. "Would you like me to call your wife to your office?"

"Yes…" Tobirama looked a bit bemused, before shaking his head and continuing. "Yes, Danzo. Tell her it is urgent."

At this, Danzo dipped his head in respect, and then sped out the door. He had a notion that was in need of transfer – he needed to tell the blue-haired woman that her husband was ill. Just slightly.

* * *

If Hiruzen had to learn how to cook, he would learn how to cook at the Senju complex. Of course, he'd started these cooking lessons at the age of ten, but he was still so bad that he required help years and years afterwards. He was lucky that Biwako was a good cook.

Nonetheless, he was now unsuccessfully sautéing a piece of Madara-knows-what, with a rather amused Mito watching alongside him. She'd watched him fail so many times that she already knew what to expect, what to avoid, and what to correct without even thinking. Seeing as Hiruzen was capable of burning an unburnable frying pan, teaching him how to cook was a rather dangerous activity. Mito still kept a careful eye on the boy when he cracked eggs – one might not know if a shinobi might use egg yolks to blind someone. It was definitely possible.

"So…what are we trying to make?" Mariko asked. She was sitting at the dining room table, watching Hiruzen awkwardly manage the stove through the doorway.

"Fried rice…I think," Mito replied. Hiruzen nearly jumped three feet in the air when the oil on his pan started sizzling. What had happened to the sautéed piece of whatever it was, anyway? Mariko sincerely hoped that this was not another case of ninja-food – food that disappeared. She called anything suspicious a ninja. The one hair tie, the big ribbon one, was a ninja ribbon because she could never find it. Tobirama's old Senju face guard was also a ninja hitai-ate (which probably needed to be called a double ninja hitai-ate.) Why she needed that, no one really knew — besides Takeshi wanting to wear it — but she looked for it nonetheless.

Ninja food was a type of food that simply disappeared…by mouth, mouse, or even blue-haired baby's chubby little hands. Or maybe the cat took a bite and slunk away without anyone knowing…

"Wait, I think I just added sugar…" Hiruzen glanced apprehensively at his steaming pan of rice.

"No, you're fine," Mito said absently, waving the boy on as he clumsily handled some seasonings from the cabinet. Just as Hiruzen was able to find the herbs he wanted to spice up the rice with, another figure came bursting through the door.

"Excuse me!"

Hiruzen leapt three feet in the air, made a horrendous noise along the lines of a yowling cat and a screeching eagle hybrid, and flipped the pan backward. The pan would have hit Mariko, but a miraculous seal let itself be known upon the pan's contact with its chakra barrier. Mito made a face, but was rather relieved that her safety precautions had come into handy for once. Though, now she was wondering why in the world Danzo was panting so hard, and what in the world did he want in such a state.

"Danzo," said the Uzumaki calmly. "What's wrong?" Mito turned to Hiruzen. "Clean that up, honey. It's all right." Her voice was hushed, like she was trying to comfort a child. Indeed, Hiruzen looked rather devastated.

"The Hokage-sama…requests…" panted Danzo, "Mariko-san. It's…urgent…he says."

"Urgent?"

"Yes. OH." Danzo leapt to attention when Mariko began to exit. "I think… he's sort of…sick. He seemed…really off."

"Off?"

"Yes."

With that, the small blunette slipped out the door and was on her way to the Hokage office. Meanwhile, Hiruzen grieved the loss of a good amount of basil that he'd dumped unceremoniously into his rice — something Mito clicked her tongue at critically — along with a dented frying pan (the fourth one he'd broken in the last two months). Danzo kneeled by his friend, trying to piece out what exactly had happened there. Hiruzen made a sound that was pitifully like a kitten's wail.

"Great seas, Hiruzen," sighed Mito. "Biwako will like _whatever_ you make, even if its horrendous."

This was said with no tact whatsoever, for the redhead was being as blunt as possible, and thus it did Hiruzen no good. In fact, he curled up and buried his face in his knees. Danzo awkwardly patted his friend's shoulder, and wondered if everyone was a little ill today. Or, perhaps, everyone except him had gone insane.

* * *

"Tobirama?" A blue head poked into the Hokage's office, green eyes wide and concerned. Mariko found herself staring at a very tired, very asleep Senju, with a sea of papers sprawled across his desk under this arms. She trotted up to him and poked his arm. When he didn't react, she poked him again. When she had poked him a few times, satisfied that he was actually asleep — he usually snapped alert after poke number three, simply because it was annoying — Mariko observed the grand stack of documents next to his desk.

_I have defeated him._

Mariko jumped. Did someone just say something? No, it was impossible. Besides that, the paperwork was a towering tower of…paperwork. It was taller than Mariko — only by a page or two, she claimed — and it leaned precariously by the window. A grocery list Mito had written the day before unraveled itself from underneath Tobirama's desk, and had rolled around for quite some time before it had exhausted its length and was rumpled out across the office.

"Shorty," mumbled the white-haired Senju in his chair.

"Blob," replied Mariko. Because Tobirama was, in fact, a white-haired blob made up of Senju DNA, slumped in his swivel chair with his blob face buried in his blob arms. That, and every time Tobirama lazily lounged anywhere, Takeshi had the tendency to call his father a blob.

"Daddy blob!" he would say. "Blob no jutsu!"

Bizarre, but quite normal for a child who claimed that "slap no jutsu" and "flower bomb no jutsu" were techniques capable of taking down the entirety of Konoha. Whether the village liked it or not.

"Tobirama the blob," she said, sidling behind the desk and wrapping her arms around the Senju's shoulders, rocking him back from his slouch over the desk. Moaning, Tobirama fell back in the chair and continued his nap. "Hey," insisted the blunette. "WAKE UP."

"Mmph."

"TOBIRAMA."

"Hn."

The Second Hokage, when tired or lacking interest, answered with noises that could not even be considered words. Mito called them caveman grunts; noises that got the point across, but were not sufficient for proper communication.

"You sick?"

Tobirama shook his head. He stopped so that his cheek fell against Mariko's arm, her hand resting on his shoulder.

"Danzo said you were off."

He looked pathetic, she thought. But, knowing her weaknesses, Tobirama pulled a Takeshi and gave her an innocent puppy look, extending his arms.

_I have transformed him into a useless puppet!_

Mariko leapt back, startling Tobirama.

"Shorty?"

"I swear I just heard a voice."

Tobirama snorted, and then sneered, "Who's the ill one now?"

"Seriously!"

But Tobirama didn't answer, only got to his feet, a tad more awake than he was moments before. He scooped up as much paperwork as he thought might fit in Mariko's arms, dumped them in her face promptly, and then turned back to gather as much that he could. He gestured to the door — a closed barrier that he had not considered before, unfortunately — and they somehow made it back to the Senju complex with armfuls of paperwork.

Dumped in Tobirama's room, it looked to Mariko as if her husband was going to pull an all-nighter at home that day. It was evening, and no one had had dinner yet due to Hiruzen's catastrophic occupation of the kitchen. If a crazy Kiri nin were to infiltrate the Senju complex, he would not have held a candle to Hiruzen's destructive sautéing. In addition, should a vengeful Uchiha Izuna appear from out of nowhere and decide to blow up the Senju complex, his bomb would have been a teeny blip in comparison to Sarutobi Hiruzen's atomic bomb of garlic doom.

Takeshi started crying in his room — Mommy and Daddy were too loud.

Mariko zoomed out of their room like a chicken on fire, and within moments, Takeshi was quieted. Tobirama heard a gurgled one-year-old laugh, and then the calmness of spirit that occurred when one was asleep. Mariko was now an expert at cooing her baby to sleep — and that was a good thing, because soon she'd have to coo two of them to sleep at the same time. As if Takeshi's advanced vocabulary wasn't enough already, he had a tendency to magically teleport from his crib and crawl the Senju hallways on a personal mission, or just cry until Momma rocked him to sleep. ("Cry no jutsu" was added to the list of most destructive techniques in Konoha's history.)

"Shorty, help me do these." Tobirama patted a stack of papers, and his wife sighed. "Unless you want to do something else, that is."

Mariko glared at him. The tone of his voice implied that he was completely fine with baby-making instead of document-sorting. The twitch in his smirk and his raised brows indicated that should she show any sign of agreement, he might knock over his papers and pounce on her.

"Papers sound great," Mariko said, smiling deviously, for she was not quite in the mood for being pounced on. It was tempting, but Mariko firmed up her resolve and folded her arms in an imitation of him. Tobirama glowered.

As Tobirama would have it, Mariko ended up writing any required written portions — he liked her neat, meticulous handwriting — with Tobirama watching over her shoulder. By "watching over her shoulder", he was observing in the form of cuddling in bed with his arms wrapped around her, watching the blunette scribble her loopy letters on a clipboard. At some point, he fell asleep again — that poor, tired Hokage — with his head tucked between the pillow and her chest (two very comfortable pillows, he would say).

"Tobirama."

If he started snoring, Mariko swore she would kick him off the bed with the strength of ten elephants. And if she didn't have that strength, she would call Mito over and have both the Uzumaki and nine elephant summons beckoned to the room to shove him off the bed and maybe into the wall. Tobirama might as well knock over that stack of paperwork, too.

"Mmph."

"Tobirama," she hissed more forcefully. At the sound of her voice, his grip tightened around her waist. Mariko recalled a time when he'd wrapped his arms so tight around her that she feared being squashed into an unfortunate, little blue pumpkin some mischievous and impossibly strong child had chucked into a wall. (Mariko tended to have a strange imagination, somewhat along the line of Danzo's.) "Why am _I_ doing all your paperwork?"

"Blob," replied the white-haired man, mumbling into the pillow as he fingered the edge of her nightshirt.

"Blob what?" Mariko took the stack of papers and swiftly smacked his forehead with them.

"We're blobs together," he burbled, in a Takeshi-like manner. Mariko now took Danzo's worries into consideration – Tobirama was not, most likely, in his right mind at the moment. Perhaps he had a fever? Mariko touched the back of her hand to his forehead. Sure, he was warm, but he wasn't burning up or sweating madly. Maybe he was sleepy? That seemed highly likely, seeing as he was muttering away in a dreamy state.

_I have stolen his soul._

Mariko would have pulled out a knife, if she'd had one. The voice chafed at her ears, like fingernails on chalk. Just thinking about it made her shiver with disgust. What _was_ that?

Tobirama sat up then, rubbing his eyes.

"Shorty," he said.

"What?"

"Help me do this paperwork." He crawled out of bed, completely ignored the stack that Mariko was already working on, and dove into another mountain of paperwork. He seemed almost possessed to do this paperwork, filing through them rapidly with his slanted scrawl. "Honey, do you have anything for me to sign?"

He rarely called her "Honey". And when he did, he was either trying to tease her, or he was just tired. Tired to the point where "Shorty" became more of a task to say than "Honey" – a discrepancy Mariko failed to understand.

"No, not now. Tobirama?"

"Yes?"

"_What_ are you doing?"

He was shuffling through the papers frantically, as if he'd lost something.

"I don't really know."

"You know what," Mariko said after a pause. "Why don't we just go to bed?"

"I'm not sleepy."

Mariko glared at him. _Not sleepy. Oh really?_ She swung her legs from under the covers and slid out of bed, stalking over to his crouched position by the second stack of papers. Deciding that she could not yank him up by his shirt, like ninjas do when they threaten people – she would have looked ridiculous trying and failing – she grabbed his hand and pulled. The Senju, being far bigger and heavier, sort of just stared at her blankly. Then he arched a brow, as if to ask her what in the world she was trying to pull. Literally.

"Let's _go_," she hissed.

"Go where? Do the paperwork, Shorts."

Now he was calling her "Shorts", too? Sure, Tobirama had a variety of nicknames or fond ways of addressing his wife, but he usually stuck to the one that suited his tastes at the current moment. And here he was, switching between all her names because he was horribly confused. On top of that, his voice was airy and absentminded, sort of floating away at the end of his sentences. It was also higher than usual. Where had her curt, snarky Tobirama gone?

"Get up." She fisted her hands on her hips and stared him down. Scarlet eyes met her green ones, cloudy but unfaltering. Then, his gaze hardened and he nodded at the papers.

"Sit down," he replied firmly. "Do the paperwork."

"It's two in the morning," she snapped.

"Exactly." Tobirama reached over to a pile of clothes he'd littered carelessly on the floor – Mariko kept a mental note to scold him for that later – and for some reason unknown plucked out his coat with the fanciful fur collar and put it on. Mariko had always liked him with a fur collar, whether it meant donning his lined armor or throwing on that navy jacket. It made him look like a fluffy arctic wolf, or maybe a big Husky. He just needed ears. And then she could ruffle his hair and made pigeon choir noises at him. She had once considered getting a dog, but apparently Takeshi was deathly afraid of dogs and preferred cats, just as he preferred Danzo to Hiruzen.

"We," Mariko said forcefully, "are sleeping. Now."

"We are doing _paperwork_," emphasized her husband.

"Are you okay?" She poked his arm. No reaction. Tobirama was not okay if he didn't react to a shoulder poke. He hated being poked, so much so that one that time he'd thrown an omelet her way, and then created a water wall just to prove his point. Nonetheless, Mariko had taken no notice and continued poking him to no end. "You're kind of loopy."

"I'm loopy? You're loopy," he declared.

He was not getting up, and she was determined not to sit down and comply to his orders. It was two in the morning, she was tired, and she wanted to sleep. She tried to plop back down in bed, but he simply caught her arm and reeled her back in, insistent that she do the paperwork. Mariko, more than peeved, snapped at him.

"_Why_ do we have to do the paperwork?!"

He shrugged.

_Because I order you to._

"Okay, Tobirama, what _is_ this?" Mariko was now delving through the papers, because there was something fishy about those documents. "Something is _talking _to me."

"I told you that you were loopy," Tobirama muttered.

And then she found it. A little paper from the Wave Country, tagged with an additional letter by the Second Mizukage. It had a caricature of his face on it, wispy mustache plus lack of brows and all, animated on the paper. The face came to life, cackling and writhing in its inked glory.

_Hello, Princess! Are you enjoying the genjutsu I have attached to this paper? New jutsu discoveries are great, aren't they?_

Genjutsu via letter? Mariko scowled at the little figure; the Mizukage's face grinned.

_Just kidding! It's not a genjutsu, it's just one of those seals that gets opened and curses you. Forever._

"My brother's navy can crush yours," she said simply.

_Oh I know that. But this is fun!_

Of course he thought it was fun. He also thought battling to the death with the Tsuchikage and blowing up national landmarks with his steam imp was fun. It seemed as if all ninja were a tad insane, some more than others. Madara was moodier than a woman, Hashirama was a ditz at times, Tobirama was paranoid, Muu was antisocial, the Second Mizukage was loopier than Mariko and Tobirama combined, and Hiruzen had the ability to burn unburnable frying pans. Mariko marveled at the wonders of the shinobi world.

_It's related to a seal. We learned it from the Uzumaki. This is just a message, haha!_

"A message?"

Meanwhile, Tobirama was staring blankly at the pile of papers, blinking rapidly as if he was trying to clear something from his vision.

_Yep. The Wave Country would like to make a political alliance with Kiri and Konoha. Your thoughts?_

"I'm not the Hokage."

_Oh, but we're including Hurricane, too._

"I'm not the King."

_Oh, but it's fun to poke fun at you._

"Your head might get chopped off one day."

_Fantastic! Now, m'lady, tell me. Has my little mind-mist technique imbued in the chakra of this ink worn off yet?_

"The what?"

_See, I told you it was fun to make fun of you._

If Kinkaku and Ginkaku were to seal this man with his most used words, that word would be "fun" at the current moment. Mariko detested his pleasure in her lack of shinobi knowledge. What the heck was chakra-ink?

_So it _did _work! Fantastic! How fun. Anyway, now that you've found me, the chakra will probably wear off, and your Hokage will be back to normal._

"And then he'll kill you."

_Most likely. But I think I'd rather fight the Tsuchikage to the death. It's more interesting._

"You're just afraid Tobirama will pop your steam imp without even trying, and then you'll lose."

_You sound like you've seen this battle!_

She had.

_Don't remind me, m'lady._

"And I won't remind you of the time you tried flirting with Mito, either."

_You're terrible, you know that? How fun._

She could hear the smile in his voice, even though the little ink man on the envelope was dancing to an inaudible tune and grinning madly at her. The caricature had a body, but it had quickly shrunk and was disintegrating fast, leaving mostly its face leering at the blunette.

_Did you know that Kirigakure doesn't have dango?_

"If I crush this envelope, will you die?"

_No. Would you like that?_

"What do _you_ think?" Mariko glowered at the paper, then glanced at Tobirama. He was staring wide-eyed at the papers, almost bewildered, frowning and trying to piece together what had just occurred. He seemed to realize that a fog had been hazed over his mind, and was pushing and prodding it out of his way.

_Oh boy, he's up._

"Are you actually talking to me, or is this just the ink?"

_Oh yeah, I'm up at two in the morning messing with the Hokage. Definitely. It works like a kage bunshin._

Mariko waited patiently for the Mizukage (or was it just the little ink face?) to realize that she had no clue whatsoever what he was talking about. A shadow clone? While she understood the concept of this jutsu, she did not comprehend the inner workings of its style. Did he mean to say that he had made a mini ink clone of himself and stamped it onto an envelope to torment Konoha? If so, that could very likely be classified as a crazy Kiri nin trying to infiltrate Konoha.

_Ah. My apologies, m'lady. This jutsu works like kage bunshin – when it is dispelled, the information and memories are sent and returned to the original. Meaning, when the chakra in this little fella runs out, all he has done translates back to me. The Mizukage in bed at two in the morning because he has dutifully finished all his paperwork._

"Can I slap you? Will it hurt?"

_M'lady, I am merely a picture on paper._

"How come I can hear you?"

_I can pick and choose who listens and who doesn't._

"So do I sound crazy talking to a piece of paper?"

_Most likely. Fun, isn't it?_

"How about if I rip you? Will that hurt?"

_I don't know. Sounds—_

The little ink man's eyes went wide. His chin and ears were disappearing, and his wispy mustache faded to nothing.

_Time's up. Oh well. It was fun while it lasted. Tell your hubby to take a look at that alliance-conference whatever it was for me, will you? Buh-bye, Princess._

With that, the little face faded away with the hint of a grin on its disintegrating image. At the moment he fully disappeared, Tobirama came like lightning out of nowhere, snatching the paper from her hands. He was livid.

"What. Was. That." Tobirama demanded, staring fiercely at the paper and studying it. He seemed frustrated; no hints of chakra were left on the paper, denying him any trace of the Mizukage's amusing little trick. Certainly, if this jutsu worked like kage bunshin, a remainder of chakra instilled in the ink would somehow float back to Kiri, would it not?

Mariko, on the other hand, was greatly relieved to see her terse, slightly moody husband back to normal. His floating, ice cream sundae voice was gone, and had returned to his lower, slightly gruff tones.

"You're back!" she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and popping up to kiss him on the cheek. Well, it was more like she stood on tiptoe and pressed her lips to his jaw awkwardly. Tobirama no longer found this a strange gesture – a kiss to the jaw – because for one, it was the highest she could reach without jumping and banging her head on his chin by accident, and secondly, it was awfully cute.

"Did I go somewhere?"

"Yes. Lala-land."

"I don't go to Lala-land."

"You went to Uchiha-land."

"Don't say that," he told her curtly. "If you're going to say I went anywhere, say Senju-land."

"You went to paperwork land."

Tobirama looked confused again, as if he was still trying to piece together this unsolvable mystery. Mariko explained to him, the best she could, the Mizukage's prank. Tobirama understood this much, but only vaguely recalled what had occurred in his absent stupor. That is, until the entire day's worth of memories slammed back into his head after five minutes and he made a noise of disgust. To be honest, Mariko thought he sounded like an incredulous horse, snorting and shaking his head. He then stared at the envelope the Mizukage had been dancing on about twenty minutes ago, grimacing. The white-haired Senju muttered an ugly swear under his breath, prompting Mariko to slap his shoulder. Then she poked his ribs.

"Shorty!" he barked, swatting her hand away. Satisfied that he was better, Mariko stopped poking him.

"We're not doing more paperwork, are we?" she asked.

"No," said Tobirama, tired and slightly disgusted with paperwork. He could not bear the shame of being influenced by a _prank_ of all things, induced into a childlike daze of confusion and lack of comprehension. Then, a small spark of light in his eyes. "Only on one condition."

Suspicious, Mariko asked, "And what is that?"

Then, she wished she hadn't, because he smirked.

"Tobirama," she said, warning him as she inched away. "No."

"Want to make another baby?"

If anyone was to decide what time would be a good time to play tag – and not with Tsunade – Tobirama apparently was that person. He figured that leaping over the bed in pursuit of Mariko was the best thing to at two in the morning. Mariko, later, would moodily complain that he was too forceful, and that pillow fights were not supposed to be so difficult.

And after _that_, she would also complain that he'd chosen a bad night to make a baby, because their daughter turned out to be just as sharp, if not wittier and snarkier, than her father on a bad day.

* * *

"You guys are SO funny."

Mito, who sat calmly at the table, did not say a word to the Mizukage. On the other hand, Mariko tried to keep Tobirama from throwing a dinner knife at the Mizukage – for any opposing him would be executed – and calming in down. But, interestingly enough, Mariko snatched the knife and attempted to stab the Mizukage on her own.

When everyone was settled, Mito made a mental note that without Hashirama, political dinners were recipes for disaster. Complete chaos. Especially when Hiruzen exploded into the room with his head aflame and a frying pan melting in his hand, with a frantic Koharu and Hiruzen on his heels. The poor lord representative from the Wave was probably scarred for life, and most likely traumatized. The scrawny man would probably return to his island and experience some unfortunate form of ninja stress disorder, proving their meeting's uselessness. The Mizukage simply had too much fun poking fun at Konoha.

"So, do you have blue-haired kids? Or are they white-haired? How about the next one?"

This was a gesture made at a rather pregnant Mariko, who threatened to castrate him with a hairpin (a statement Mito approved of inwardly, but clicked her tongue at for show). Tobirama chuckled at this until Mariko turned on him and he went paler than he already was.

"Blue-haired," Tobirama supplied. "Our boy has blue hair."

This entire conversation took place while Mito ignored Hiruzen, who zoomed around the table and nearly set the Wave representative on fire. He then launched himself at Tobirama, who promptly dumped a decently sized puddle on Hiruzen's head. The monkey tripped on himself, spluttering through the water, and fell on his face. Koharu tripped over Hiruzen, and Homura tripped over Koharu. This was followed by frantic screeching from an annoyed girl, the rolling away of armadillo-Homura, and the cowering of a little chimp.

"LEAVE," Tobirama ordered. His team scuttled out of sight, smuggling a number of bread rolls under their sleeves in the process. It took Tobirama a few seconds to process this action — Koharu, as far as he knew, avoided carbohydrates — and then froze in place.

Mariko somehow pulled off a shinobi-like move and miraculously teleported to the door so fast that Obitopede would have had a run for his money. With her small stature, she did not block the door well, but she got in the way of Team Tobirama just fine.

"You are _not_ giving my son bread for dinner," she hissed.

"Um," said Hiruzen.

"He needs to eat those vegetables."

Takeshi was known to slip veggies to the horses — "Katrina likes carrots more than I do, and they're good for her eyesight. Don't want her turning Uchiha, would we?" he would continue saying once he got older — when he could, and downing only bread and butter to fill himself. That boy had a thing for grains. Pasta, bread, cake, cookies, rice…

"He doesn't like vegetables."

"I _know_ he doesn't." Mariko glared at Hiruzen, as if to mentally channel to him that her baby would eat the mushy baby vegetable mix unless a crazy Kiri nin blockaded their supply of it or an Uchiha gone nuts stole his eyes. Both of which would result in apocalyptic consequences. "I'm his mother."

"Um," Hiruzen repeated, attempting to slip Koharu a bread roll.

"I will tell Kagami," Mariko exclaimed, "_everything_."

At this, Koharu went ghostly white and shoved the bread roll back at Hiruzen, who now had an entire armful because his third teammate had also been calmly depositing his few bread rolls into the arms of the monkey. What Mariko meant by the last statement was a complete mystery to everyone else in the room, but it was effective enough to intimidate Koharu. So, Koharu backed out because of that threat, Homura simply didn't want to get involved, and Hiruzen remained with an armful of bread.

"OHOHO, YOU HAVE FUN STUDENTS!" said the Mizukage too loudly. He fingered his wispy facial hair enthusiastically, taking his mustache between thumb and forefinger. "Konoha is fun, very fun!"

"Would you just shut up?" Tobirama stated bluntly.

"Tobirama!" scolded Mito.

"Will you _please_ shut up?"

Mito glared at her brother-in-law.

"Oh Hokage-dono, you're just so amusing." The Mizukage grinned and plunked his elbows on the table, leaning forward and watching the following exchange with pure amusement.

Hiruzen made a run for it. He smacked promptly into a person — poor Danzo — and a flurry of papers flew into his face. The monkey was lucky he did not leave the predicament with a face full of paper cuts. Bread went flying, rolls rolled away in an effort for baked liberty, only to rumble to an unceremonious stop. An unfortunate loaf of sourdough declared his escape from the totalitarianism of hungry mouths —with their blue baby dictator— only to be snatched up by Hiruzen in a final effort to dodge out of the room.

Hiruzen ran straight into Danzo again, who had picked up a pile of papers he'd dropped. They were documents meant for the leaders and representatives in the dining room, but that stupid friend-rival of his was impeding his progress. Danzo felt like a snail; a snail with some burning salt being poured on him because Tobirama and Mito were glaring daggers at them.

"MOVE!" Hiruzen wailed. He did not achieve his goal, because he was halted by a second person — Biwako.

Biwako incredulously held up the half-melted frying pan.

"Did _you_ just throw this out the window?" she asked, gesturing to the open window of the room. Everyone turned in surprise to the open window — when did it open? When did Hiruzen throw his pan out the window? (The Second Mizukage would vaguely recall the young shinobi tripping on himself and chucking it sideways upon the impact of a Suiton wall.)

"Paperwork," Danzo said promptly, ignoring everything behind him. Everything behind him meant Mariko grabbing the deformed frying pan and chasing a terrified Hiruzen out the door, followed by his teammates and a confused Biwako. When the blunette returned, the Mizukage was doodling on a napkin and the Wave man was scared into a somewhat comatose state.

"Well that was fun!" exclaimed mustache man. "Guys wanna see my new jutsu? I call it _chakra ink!_"

He held up his little doodle proudly. It was a picture of himself, dancing preposterously across the napkin. All at once, Mariko and Tobirama hollered:

"NO!"

"Aw man, you guys ruin the party," sighed the Mizukage, setting his napkin down. "Now, about that alliance…"

* * *

"STOP."

"Stop what?"

"Eating all the bread!"

If Mito could get her nephew and niece to stop fighting, she would. But this particular argument was over bread, of all things, and she simply stared at them bickering over the basket of freshly baked goods.

"Kori, you're so mean," Takeshi whined.

"Deal with it! I wanted some bread too!" she exclaimed, white hair falling across her face. She slapped her older brother's tentative hand away from the bread, the charm on her wrist jangling its beads together. Mito remembered that item — Tobirama used to wear it.

Meanwhile, Takeshi huddled deeper in his fur collar and looked like a blue-haired Husky. His adorable pout would be perfected with a pair of ears and a wagging tail.

"Kori, we've got plenty of bread," sighed Mito. The two children mumbled closings to their arguments, before Kori claimed she wasn't hungry and needed to get Uncle Hiruzen some paperwork. At the Sarutobi's name, Takeshi made a face and snatched another piece of bread, tearing off a chunk and popping it in his mouth grumpily. Even in a sour mood, Takeshi's round eyes — his mother's face — were innocent and adorable. The only thing that was Tobirama was his sly smile (a rare sight) and the color of his irises. On the other hand, Kori had long white hair and the narrow, vulpine features of her father, with high Senju cheekbones and rosy lips. It was as if Mariko and Tobirama had traded colors; Kori had the emerald eyes of Hurricane's royal family.

At the office, Hiruzen's eyes widened at the stack of paperwork that came in. The amount of papers he had now were enough to tower of Tsunade stacked upon herself three times over.

"I hate paperwork," he simpered negatively.

"Welcome to the Hokage life," sighed Danzo, plunking more documents down on the monkey's desk. Hiruzen marveled at how the desk had not cracked under the pressure of so many papers. If Hashirama's dunking of his forehead on the surface and Tobirama's angry pounding had not been able to break the table, then Hiruzen wondered what sort of force it would take to break a Senju-made mahogany desk. The Nine-tails? No, even Mito could not break this desk.

_I'll break it._

Hiruzen whipped around in his swivel chair.

_Or would you like me to unleash a sea monster on your desk instead? Oh wait — you already have a sea monster. Mito. Haha. Hahahahaha._

Hiruzen stood, glancing around warily.

_Hokage-dono, I'm old. Care to tell a story? While you do paperwork, that is._

Hiruzen clocked himself firmly in the head. He was not going insane, he was not going insane, he was not going—

_Be careful, Hokage-dono. Anyway. Do you happen to have any info on Muu? I'd like to hear a story about Iwagakure._

"The paperwork is _not_ talking to me," Hiruzen whined. Danzo's eyes widened, for his best friend was displaying the symptoms of Hokage fatigue. Perhaps he should fetch Mito for her professional advice.

_Two for two,_ cackled the paperwork. _Boy, with the scar. Get me the blue boy, I want to talk to him._

At that moment, both Hiruzen and Danzo sped from the Hokage Tower faster than Tobirama's Flying Thunder God Slash. They escaped the horror that was the Mizukage toying with Konoha once again so fast that one could not say "Hiraishingiri!" in the time that they were out in the streets running for their lives.

If the ramen shop owner suspected anything of the aged, wispy-mustache man in his shop, he said nothing.

* * *

I enjoyed Tobirama's confusion. /evil Izuna-like laugh

Come to think of it, we don't even know Izuna and Madara's voices.

Oh well.

Izuna might as well have Sasuke's voice. /shot


	40. Comrade's Mission

Whew! Sorry for the long delay. I've been super busy, what with school sports/spring break/tests, the whole shebang.

Anyway, those of you waiting for **Emeralds** will have a longer wait. (._.) As in, it may be super long. It may return by summer, haha. Sooner, if I get to it. This one will be updated continuously, as will Obito's story. (Hopefully ^_^). I also might start one of those 100 themes things, just for fun. It'll be on all different people, not just one person or a couple. But Mariko's always included, soooo.

Speaking of Mariko, I lack Mariko in this chapter. Oh well. But hey, I'm drawing a little comic with Mariko in it, so check out my deviantART and wait for it to come out...

Besides that, I will miss mop-head and tsundere-boy! . . . I'm actually sad that the flashback's over. (no more Tobirama except for Edo Tensei...)

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, of course.

I also have a gazillion other things to do. I have to read stuff by my friend Kelly, as well as...*lists off* stuff.

Like, a lot of stuff. The millions of chapters that GC has, first off. (not millions, I'm exaggerating, but still. MUST REAAAD)

Yep. That should be it...

* * *

**Chapter 40: ****Comrade's Mission**

His lips were dry, his breath ragged as he pressed a strip of his cloth to the wound. When the blood soaked through, he ripped up his own shirt and willed the blood to stop flowing. His hands shook; he gripped the fabric harder, stuffed it into the crimson gash.

"Leave me," rasped the wounded shinobi. "Someone will come soon. You have to catch up with them."

"You're dying, dammit!" the other shouted. "Don't talk!"

The wounded shinobi closed his mouth, silently watching his friend. His Sharingan had long since deactivated, chakra depleted. Kagami acknowledged the wet eyes and gritted teeth with a gentle touch.

"_Go_, Danzo," he murmured.

"I'm not leaving," the Shimura answered harshly.

Kagami knew that Danzo would stick to his side even if he died right then and there, but tried anyway. This was not a mission to throw away. Not this time.

"The mission needs to be completed," the Uchiha croaked, wincing when he tasted the metallic twang of blood at the back of his throat. "Backup is coming, don't worry about me."

"Shut up!" Danzo scowled at the blood seeping from Kagami's abdomen. "_I will not leave you_."

"Idiot," mumbled Kagami, blinking rapidly as his vision began to deteriorate. It was not his Uchiha bloodline that was taking away from his sight – he was rapidly losing consciousness, and could only see his teammate if he squinted. His peripheral vision began closing in, shutting out the majority of Danzo in front of him. "Go."

"I'll go when I'm dead," hissed Danzo, continuing to curse the wound.

"Koharu's coming, it's okay," Kagami attempted.

"Koharu's dispatched at the north end," Danzo retorted. "It'll take her thirty minutes to get here. You'll be dead."

"And our target will be long gone."

"Hiruzen wouldn't leave," Danzo said. "Hashirama-sama wouldn't leave. _You wouldn't leave_."

Kagami did not say anything. Danzo could not tell if it was because his point had been defeated, or because the boy was too weak to answer now. He hoped that Kagami was right; that a backup team was coming. If not, the wound would bleed out, or Danzo's petty administrations would allow it to fester and kill Kagami anyway. He had no jutsu that could cure this, he was not a medic nor a shinobi proficient with first aid. Danzo had considered utilizing some of the seals taught to him by Mito, but none of the Uzumaki formulas worked in this situation. Not even a cursed seal worked medically.

"Dammit!" he repeated.

Kagami blinked slowly.

"Danzo," he managed, just barely, "if I die, take my eyes."

"You're not dying," Danzo forced through gritted teeth.

"I know you would do good with them. Make a peaceful village. Be the change you wish to see in this world." Kagami winced, then began coughing up blood. Danzo wished he could smack those ridiculous words from Kagami's mouth. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Kagami's vision began to fade again, and his hand dropped from Danzo's arm.

"Stay with me, Uchiha," Danzo near shouted at the shinobi, "Don't you dare die on me! Don't you _dare_!"

A faint smile flickered at Kagami's lips, and his eyes shut.

In horror, Danzo let go of the cloth and grabbed the boy's shoulders and screamed something incomprehensible. Kagami was limp, pale, and unmoving. Danzo's vision was blurry; he was about to pass out.

No. Danzo felt more alert than ever before, but terrified to the core. There were tears in his eyes, angry tears, clouding his sight. He was still shouting something, he had no idea what. Was he shouting for Kagami to wake up? Was he acusing the Uchiha of committing a crime by dying?

"Shove it, Shimura!"

At that moment, Danzo was harshly thrown aside by a short brunette with small hands and a small figure. He vaguely recognized her as one of his old classmates, a Senju girl with close-cropped hair and determined eyes. Her hands began to shine an eerie green, soft and warm, like a lightning bug's pulsating glow.

"Akane, status?" said another shinobi, a dark one wearing sunglasses. "The North unit is heading down," he said, when a massive group of bugs was shepherded around him. An Aburame, part of the Senju's team.

"Bad," the girl named Akane hissed. Then, she looked up briefly, eyes meeting with Danzo's. "Well? What are you waiting for?"

Danzo looked helplessly at Kagami.

"Leave," she ordered firmly. Danzo shook his head, which still seemed to be out of sorts. "He's not dying anymore, go finish the mission."

"I'm not leaving," Danzo replied hoarsely.

"You are leaving," Akane said darkly, "because if you distract me any more, he _will_ die."

_And it'll be your fault_, she insinuated through her forceful glare. Danzo took a step back, trying to calm his breathing. What kind of shinobi was he, showing emotion like this? He mentally punched himself, angry that he had even shed tears. In the end, he probably blamed Kagami. Stupid Uchiha, trying to die on him. He was just like Hiruzen, throwing himself in front of the stampede simply to wait for an imminent, useless death.

But Danzo found himself leaping from treetop to treetop, feet lightly hitting branches as he spurred onward. There was a loud explosion to his left, so he decided to follow it.

"GET DOWN!" came the cry. Kousuke and Homura came hurtling his way, grabbing him by the shoulders and dragging him down. They plummeted to the earth, all three striking the ground at the same time.

"You brats," seethed a menacing figure, approaching them with a short blade. He stabbed downward, but missed Kousuke by a hair because Homura had pulled the genin out of the man's reach. The bespectacled member of Team Tobirama, along with Kousuke, the eternal genin, drew their kunai. Danzo merely stared at the Kousuke's back, covered in a round plate of armor, in shock.

An exchange occurred, and it ended with the enemy's leg contacting Homura's head, sending the boy flying across a small, grassy clearing. He crashed into a tree, splintering the bark and losing his cracked glasses. Kousuke had long since been detained, crushed into the ground with some insanely powerful downwards strike.

"What are you, the backup?" sneered the shinobi. His comrades gathered beside him, appearing to be discussing their next steps. They approached him, but several kunai and shuriken shipped from behind him, deterring the enemies.

"Get up, Danzo!"

Hiruzen vaulted into the clearing, hurling a few more kunai that the enemy shinobi easily fended off. The Sarutobi approached with a mighty fire jutsu, leaping into the fray to drag Danzo out of range.

"Let go!" Danzo spat when he came to his senses, smacking away his friend's hand harshly.

"Get up!" repeated Hiruzen, attempting to pull Danzo to his feet. When Danzo finally scrambled to a standing position, Hiruzen let go and ignored him completely, hands flying through several fire jutsu seals. After warding off the enemy with a couple of fireballs, Hiruzen stepped back to contemplate.

"We need more people," Hiruzen said.

"Obviously," hissed Danzo. They were two to seven enemy shinobi, and the odds were definitely not in their favor. The one that had attacked Danzo with Homura and Kousuke had been the one that had wounded Kagami. The man's shining blade glinted almost demonically, yet Danzo's nerves prickled angrily at the sight.

Hiruzen scrabbled to his feet to avoid a deadly slash from the man with the blade. He was about to retaliate with a few kunai when a forceful wind jutsu cut off the enemy. Danzo, with a vengeance, attempted to sweep away the entire group with his powerful Fuuton. However, he was quickly knocked out by several other shinobi.

"Duck!" yelled Hiruzen, as a fireball spewed from his lips. Danzo barely managed to throw himself to the ground, a portion of his hair singed. He swore loudly at Hiruzen, but the monkey only scooped a few shuriken from his pouch and hurled them at the enemy. He engaged with the group of shinobi – they had taken out nearly half, miraculously, leaving four left – and was fending off the swordsman's short blade.

Danzo reached into his weapons pouch; he had nothing left, save two shuriken. He slipped one of them into his fingers and began to time his approach. The seconds played out, focusing more and more chakra with each mental count.

Hiruzen slashed down and broke away from the man with the blade.

_One_.

A second shinobi pressed his hands into a vaguely earth-attributed sequences of seals, before slamming his palms on the ground. A gigantic boulder emerged from the center of the clearing, throwing Hiruzen off balance.

_Two_.

The third shinobi joined the second, and together they used a Doton jutsu that smashed into Hiruzen. The fourth and last ninja was a kunoichi who rapidly dashed her way over to Hiruzen, kunai poised above her head. She was a snake about to strike.

_Three._

Hiruzen dodged one.

_Four._

Another Doton threw a boulder on his left arm, and the boy cried out in pain. The woman's kunai began its fast, downward arc.

_Five_.

Five seconds was all he needed.

"Get down!"

Hiruzen obeyed immediately, the deadly whirring of a wind-encased shuriken sending him flat on his back, eyes shut. He was glad he had not watched, because the spinning shuriken with a reach of over five feet all around had sliced the woman completely in half. Hiruzen tried to push his stomach down when blood splashed across his face, warm and sticky.

Danzo rushed over to Hiruzen, shoved the boulder off of him, and grabbed him by the good arm.

"Well that's broken," Hiruzen said rather nonchalantly, glancing at his arm. Danzo knew he was in pain, but Hiruzen did not show a shred of feeling on his face, except for the cheeky grin he offered stanchly. His eyes never strayed to the woman's corpse – well, the two parts of what it had been, anyway.

The shuriken had taken down the boulder and a line of trees, and was only now whirring to a stop as it swerved into the forest. The two Doton-users were taken aback; one of them scowled at Danzo, while the other gaped at their dead comrade.

Danzo wrapped Hiruzen's right arm around his shoulders.

"We have two options," he muttered. "Run, or stay."

"Obviously," Hiruzen chuckled, mimicking his friend earlier. Danzo threw him an annoyed glance, before casually assessing the damage done to Hiruzen's arm. But then again, he was no medic, and was in no position to judge what kind of injury the arm was sustaining. All he knew was that it did not sit right in that crooked, limp position. "Roll up your sleeve, Hiruzen."

The other boy grimaced. "I'd rather not," he managed.

"C'mon," hissed Danzo.

"We're in the middle of a battle?" Hiruzen tried, gesturing the enemy. The one Doton user who had been glaring at them was creeping forward, while the swordsman put his hand on the hilt of his blade.

"I need to know how bad it is," Danzo insisted.

"Can't I just have Akane look at it?"

"We'll be dead by then."

"Don't talk like that," Hiruzen scolded, almost like Toka clucking at her team. "How many more of the shuriken do you have?"

"One."

"Fantastic," groaned Hiruzen, glancing at his feet. When he didn't look up, Danzo wondered what he was thinking about. There was no time to ask, however, when the two Doton-users emerged from behind a smaller set of rocks and came at them with kunai and shuriken flying about.

Danzo shoved Hiruzen aside and turned so that his back would take the brunt of the attack, for they'd no time to defend, but a set of kunai from the corner of the field covered for them. Both boys glanced over at Homura, who laid on the ground with his arm outstretched, the last of his kunai as well as his energy spent.

"Go," Homura managed to shout weakly.

Hiruzen fumbled with his weapons pouch, and pulled out a roll of gauze.

"That's not going to help us now," Danzo said.

"I can still try." He somehow managed, with Danzo's brief aid, to sling his arm in the weak wrap. Though he couldn't weave seals now, Hiruzen managed to back up Danzo decently. Engaging with the two earth-style shinobi, they clashed kunai to kunai. A Doton technique struck Hiruzen's left arm, and he fell with a cry.

_One_,Danzo counted. He had this one chance, to line them up. He grabbed a fallen kunai and whipped it at the man about to leap on Hiruzen with a fist made of rock.

_Two_.

The man shouted angrily when the kunai found a gap in his armor and stabbed his side. He pulled it out of his abdomen and turned back to Hiruzen, who had wiggled his way free of the rock formation and was scuffling to his feet.

_Three_.

The fist of rock nearly made contact with Hiruzen, but the boy dodged and swung out a leg. His kick proved to be useless against the hard armor of the enemy shinobi, while his other partner circled round and came from behind.

_Four_.

Hiruzen leapt out of the way, parrying with a few kunai he'd grabbed from the ground. He managed to throw the second shinobi aside, crashing him right into his comrade.

_Five_. There it was, his chance. The two enemy ninja, side-by-side. The shuriken came to his lips, and Danzo exhaled an impossibly fast current of biting wind. The metal made a slight screeching noise before picking up his chakra flow and coalescing into a deadly, whirling Fuuton weapon.

Hiruzen vaulted backwards, out of range of the shuriken. Again, he turned away quickly when the wind shuriken sliced through the shinobi with a deafening screech. The accompanying squelch of flesh sent his stomach into his throat, but he was a shinobi, and he held it down. The two enemies, taken by surprise at this setup, stared in shock as their bodies tore into two, one of them turning to see Danzo a split second before his upper body disconnected from his lower.

"Nice, Danzo!" exclaimed Hiruzen.

"Shut up, you idiot," hissed the Shimura, watching his shuriken take down another line of forest before spinning to a stop. "We just have to—"

A blade ran itself through Danzo's body, appearing right in the center of his abdomen. The swordsman had come from behind him, silently. He brusquely withdrew the short sword from Danzo's back, flicking the blood off the tip and returning it to its sheath.

"Not bad, for brats," the man said lightly. "What a shame."

Hiruzen's mouth was open, but nothing had come from his throat. He watched Danzo sink to his knees, then collapse face-first in the soil. His shoulder struck a corner of the boulder that had emerged with the Doton jutsu, and he slumped sideways.

"Hiruzen," croaked Danzo. "Run."

Danzo's arm, caught under his body, felt the blood seeping from the wound. His hand was completely soaked in the crimson, too weak to try and cover the cut.

Hiruzen didn't budge. Even when the swordsman came over and threw him down, kicking his head and tossing him against the stone wall of the boulder, Hiruzen did not leave. He fought back as best he could, but he never followed Danzo's orders to leave.

"_Run_, Hiruzen!" screamed Danzo, his vision hazing over.

"NO!" the other boy screamed back, facing the brunt of a cruel punch to the face.

"Dammit, Hiruzen, get out of here!" Danzo hollered, his breath running short now that he'd lost so much blood and was fading from consciousness far too quickly for his comfort.

"I'm not leaving!" his friend stubbornly shouted at him, ignoring the pain of his arm and attempting a meager fire jutsu made with seals from one hand. The swordsman laughed roughly and easily pushed Hiruzen back.

"I should just finish you off, shouldn't I?" he said. "This is fun, isn't it? I'll have your dying friend watch you die, too."

"GO!"

"_I will not leave you._"

The solid resolve that rooted itself in Hiruzen's eyes, baring its fangs, silenced Danzo.

_Hiruzen would not have left_.

Hadn't he said that to Kagami? Yet he had left in the end, because the circumstances had allowed him to. At this time, there was no one here to save them. And thus, Hiruzen would not leave. He would never leave.

"That's a great decision, brat!" exclaimed the swordsman, throwing Hiruzen off his feet with a hard fist strike. Lying on his back, gasping for breath, Hiruzen fumbled with a kunai. The man stepped on the boy's hand, crushing Hiruzen's fingers with his boot. The knife clattered from his hand and he was defenseless before the tall shinobi, whose sword glinted in the sunlight. "You can watch each other die," snarled the man, drawing his blade.

Hiruzen began to tremble, despite his efforts to remain still. Both hands incapacitated and his legs turned to jelly, he was helpless. The sword tip brushed his chest, and he stiffened. The swordsman aligned his blade perpendicular to Hiruzen's chest and raised it.

A short, descending stroke.

Danzo cried out.

And then his vision faded to darkness.

* * *

It was a cool, light space. It felt like the ocean was washing over him, the soft lull of waves crashing to the shore a comforting hum in his ears. He didn't want to open his eyes; it was peaceful. Water lapped at his face and he felt the tide level pulling back, leaving him on moist land. He willed the waves to return, to cushion him and allow him to float again.

_Hey! Can you hear me? Danzo? Danzo!_

Someone was trying to pull him from his imaginary beach. A hand grabbed his shoulder and rolled him over onto his back, but his arms were lead and he could not swat them away. Again, wishing for the waves to lighten the dead weight of his body.

_He's not getting up. Akane, what do we do?_

_ I'll start healing him, keep trying to wake him up._

_ What about Hiruzen?_

_ Hiruzen's with Koharu, he'll be fine._

_ Danzo? Danzo!_

Names. He could not place these names to faces, only that they were vaguely familiar, and that he should've known them. The voices were even more baffling – a girl was speaking, but who was this girl? And a boy, achingly familiar. He could neither put a face nor a name to these voices, and it frustrated him. He simply wanted to fade back to the washed out whiteness that he'd been blissfully floating in, the water soothing his entire existence.

_Get up, Shimura!_

He didn't want to get up.

_C'mon, Danzo, I know you're there!_

This voice. A new one. Somehow, this new person did not sit right with him. He remembered something now. He remembered something that had happened literally moments before he'd felt the water rushing upon him like a powerful sea creature, horses made of water drawing frothing wave chariots. A falling blade into a trembling boy.

That boy was talking to him.

_Danzo! Hey, Danzo!_

_ C'mon, Danzo, get up! Akane, how's he doing?_

_ He's still bleeding, just keep him awake!_

_ He's not even conscious!_

_ Well _make_ him conscious!_

Now he was confused. There were too many people. He couldn't count. One, two…three? Or four? No, three.

But the boy, the one that was dead but not dead. What was he doing here? He was supposed to be dead. The more he thought about it, the more his mind became jumbled. He tried not to remember, yet at the same time, strained to pick out a missing memory. It floated in the distance, buoying in the nonexistent waves.

Water.

"DANZO!" Hiruzen screamed in his ear, as an enormous stream of water came crashing down on Danzo's face. The Shimura spluttered and coughed to a sitting position, only to fall back when his wound screamed. He found his head being held by a wrapped up Kagami, his arm clutched by Hiruzen, and the chestnut-haired Senju named Akane trying to heal him. The strange green glow that warmed his skin was oddly comforting, and the sensation of his wound slowly closing up held him in awe for a moment.

At the same time, he was still choking on the water that had been dumped in his face as he came to. Looking to the source, he saw Tobirama standing over him.

"Sensei, are you trying to _drown_ him?!" exclaimed Koharu, a little ways off.

"He's alive and awake, isn't he?" deadpanned the Senju, folding his arms. He kneeled then, arming clinking as he bent over. "You all right?"

Danzo's eyes flickered between Tobirama's firm but concerned gaze to Akane's green chakra misting over his wound. He nodded, then coughed again. The white-haired Senju set a hand on Danzo's shoulder, and then stood up.

"Kagami."

"What's up, buddy?" asked the Uchiha from behind him, still cradling his head like he would a sick child. It must've been the brotherly instincts, developed from years of caring for his little sister. Danzo would have laughed at this, just a little, had he been without a wound and not nearly dead from blood loss.

"What happened to that…shinobi? The one that Hiruzen was fighting," Danzo managed to croak out.

"Tobirama-sama jumped in," Kagami explained. "I saw the whole thing when Akane and I reached the clearing."

Danzo squinted, trying to recall if he had seen anything. All he could remember was water, but then again, he supposed that he had not been dreaming if Tobirama had indeed arrived. He imagined the water sweeping the swordsman out of the way, saving Hiruzen by a hair. Looking around, Danzo found the place where Hiruzen had fallen. To his horror, the swordsman was impaled on his own blade, fallen face first to the ground. If he retraced evidence of battle, the man appeared to have been struck from behind – an enormous gash on the back of his head and down his shoulder blade was evidence of Tobirama's katana – before he'd fallen. After that, Tobirama must have grabbed the blade and put it through the shinobi's heart. Danzo almost pitied him. Almost.

"Kagami?"

"Yeah?" Kagami helped Akane, along with the recently arrived backup-medical crew, turn Danzo so that the other side of the wound could be healed. Danzo had been impaled straight through, after all.

"How are you feeling?"

The Uchiha laughed lightly at this. He had a pleasant laugh, that Kagami. A light and airy tone that exuded a weightlessness to it, as if all was right in the world.

"I'm doing just fine, Danzo. Better than you," joked Kagami, looking down at his friend.

"Better than Danzo? I think not, Kagami," snorted Hiruzen, kneeling beside them. "Unless I'm mistaken, you had a sword run through your too, didn't you?"

"But I wasn't shish kabobbed," answered Kagami, patting his bandaged side lightly. Hiruzen rolled his eyes and leaned over Danzo, grinning.

"How are _you_ doing?" he asked jovially.

"Worse, now that you're here."

"You ruin the fun," said Hiruzen, despite his growing smile.

"And you're going to kill him again," Akane snapped, waving Hiruzen away. "You're all in my way!" She shooed everyone except Kagami away, sending the rest of the medical unit to help others. Hiruzen's arm had been set and put in a temporary sling, to be casted upon return to Konoha. Homura had a concussion and Kousuke had a blue-black bruise on his cheek, but other than that, no one was near death. "_Go away, Sarutobi_," hissed Akane, picking up a random kunai and waving it threateningly.

"Why does Kagami get to stay?" pouted the monkey, moping childishly.

"He's actually helping," the Senju girl retorted, plucking a pack of string from her pouch. She found herself facing a sulky Hiruzen and an amused Tobirama. Akane shrugged sheepishly at her clan head's brother, but he waved her off mildly. He didn't mind the Hiruzen-teasing game.

Danzo, on the other hand, was watching Akane pull out the string. A sharp hook at the end made him wary, and he began to squirm.

"I'm going to numb you," Akane said, pulling out some other medical ninja thing that Danzo had no name for, "and then do my best to sew the rest of this wound up. I've closed the internal cuts, and now you've just got shallow incisions on both sides."

Now, if Mito-sama had been working on him, Danzo would have handed her his life without a second thought. But here he was, tensed up before a snappy brunette who looked like she could strangle a man with that string.

"She's not going to kill you, Danzo," Tobirama said from behind him, as if reading his mind. Danzo, because he couldn't turn and look at Tobirama, just remained silent. He felt Kagami's chest rumble in silent laughter.

Soon enough, his midsection was numb, and he was watching the slightly horrifying process of closing up his wound. Akane expertly sutured the wound shut, quickly looping her hook and string through the opening.

"There. Not dead, are you?" Akane grinned smugly, before cutting off the loose ends of the sutures and standing up. "You'll be dizzy, but alive."

Kagami helped Danzo stand. He looped an arm over his shoulders and helped his teammate hobble over to the others.

"Now wait a minute," barked Koharu. "Why do we have one shish kabobbed shinobi helping another shish kabobbed shinobi?" Scowling, she scuttled over to Kagami's side and unlatched him from Danzo. She slung the Uchiha's arm around her shoulders and helped him over to the group. Hiruzen, in turn, grabbed Danzo quickly and did the same.

"I don't need your help," Danzo said. "Let go."

"I'm not leaving any time soon," Hiruzen replied, grinning. His smile was whiter than his teeth, and its bright intensity almost hurt Danzo's eyes. But he recognized his best friend's resolve all the same, and accepted the help. Just this once.

"It's not like I want your help," Danzo offered. He grimaced, because now he just sounded like a tsundere in denial. Then again, he'd always wondered if he harbored a two-faced personality. Not that he cared.

"Sure you don't," laughed Hiruzen.

"Let's go home," said Tobirama, waving the platoon members over. He pulled a scroll from the dead swordsman's pouch and flipped it open. "We're done here."

Hiruzen jumped up and down in excitement, jostling Danzo painfully. He thrust a fist into the air.

"All right! When we're back, who's up for barbecue?!"

* * *

Hey, random _Emeralds_ characters!

Akane...Tsunemori Akane from Psycho-Pass is the inspiration here. I just turned her into a Senju, lol. And changed her personality a bit.

Besides that, this was surprisingly long...

Ciao for now ~


	41. Tomato

WHO ELSE IS FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I AM

asdflhgaskldjfghskdf keyboard smash

THAT WAS EPIC

THIS IS EPIC

I LOVE YOU SASUKE YOU ARE NOW AWESOME IN MY BOOK

THANK YOU THANK YOU KAGAMI HAS A SON WHAT IS THIS THANK YOU SASUKE YOU ARE THE BEST YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

HASHIRAMA YOU DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR VILLAGE WAS AN ENTIRE LEVEL BELOW ITSELF WHAT THE-

*needs to calm down*

Last chapter disappointed me, but this one, THIS ONE.

THIS ONEEEEEEEE.

GO, HASHIRAMA, GLUE TSUNADE TOGETHER! NOW!

Wait wait wait what if they visit Homura and Koharu first?!

I like how Karin didn't even notice that there were four Hokages standing right there, looooool.

*still freaking out*

This is probably longer than the story. But the story's cute, soooo...

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because Sasuke suddenly became awesome! *needs to calm down***

* * *

**Chapter 41: ****Tomato**

If one thought Team Tobirama was a nuisance, then they had underestimated the capabilities of Team Toka. Despite being made up of three generally quiet, almost docile children, they were nearly as mentally destructive as their counterpart team. Rather than a loud Hiruzen, Team Toka had a crowned Uchiha who walked with a determined swagger and shot a Gai-worthy smile at all the pretty ladies. In place of a quiet Homura was Danzo, forever cold and calculating. His exceptional analytical skills proved to be useful in all sorts of situations – pranks included. And finally, in the stead of a moody, annoyed Koharu, Team Toka had sheepish little Torifu. Unbeknownst to most, the stout little Akimichi would throw a massive tantrum should his last chip disappear before his eyes. You'd best flatten yourself to a wall, pretend you are a cicada stuck to said wall, and hope he doesn't barrel your way.

And thus, Team Toka wreaked havoc on the Senju complex.

To make matters worse, Team Tobirama found it incredibly important to stop by five minutes later.

The end result was a burnt frying pan – the fourth in the last two months – lots of hair-pulling, and a livid white-haired Senju.

"You know, I thought Mito was a tomato, but you are like, an albino tomato." These were words coming from a girl who turned into a tomato quite often, according to bystanders. (An exceptionally rare breed of tomato that harbored long blue vines and leaves.)

Tobirama turned on her and glared.

"You're annoying."

Mariko made a look of utter despair.

Immediately Tobirama grimaced and attempted to fix his situation, but the blunette pitifully sulked and curled into a ball on his bed.

"Hey."

Ignored.

"_Hey_. Shorty."

Completely ignored again.

He stalked over to her, already annoyed enough with his team and Toka's team throwing toilet paper over trees, and grabbed her shoulder. To his surprise, she was grinning like an idiot into a pillow, shyly glancing at him with mischievous eyes.

"You are so gullible," she giggled.

"I'm gullible? _You're_ the gullible one," he said, playfully pinching her nose. She swatted him away.

A glance out the window showed Toka yelling at her team, and demanding that the mass amounts of toilet paper be taken down from Hashirama's favorite willow tree. A stray cat hissed and clawed at the rolled of bathroom tissue that hung from his favorite napping spot. If this cat had been a ninja, clawing people would have become a new form of taijutsu.

However, the elaborateness of the toilet paper mess could have been admired, should Toka have taken the time. Torifu had expanded the size of his hands to lift his teammates up to the top of the tree, where they had literally danced a complex waltz, dropping another length of toilet paper every three beats. Then, in a brash rock-and-roll style, Hiruzen had leapt into the fray with an armful of paper towels, ripping them to shreds and impaling entire sheets on branches. Koharu, in a fit of anger, had chucked a roll of toilet paper at Hiruzen's head – she missed, and the entire thing unraveled into a beautiful, impossibly perfect spiral around the tree. Homura had wisely backed into a corner, where he remained in hiding with a friendly book.

"Danzo, get that corner!" called Kagami, now undoing their mess. Danzo, surprisingly, had joined the TP-party, hooking ends of the tissue to kunai and shuriken before whipping them up high into the branches like streamers.

"Pull that end," Danzo replied, grabbing an armful of toilet paper.

"Hey, hey, there's a cat up here!" exclaimed Hiruzen, wiggling a strip of toilet paper in the feline's face. Tenzou the stray hissed menacingly.

"Saru, get over here!" The commanding voice of the tall albino made Hiruzen's teeth rattle. Tobirama stalked into the courtyard, eyes burning holes in everything they landed on. Obediently, Hiruzen swung down from the trees as skillfully as a chimp, and trotted over to his sensei with an innocent smile.

"Hey, Tobirama-sensei, what's up?"

Tobirama shoved a scroll into the boy's face, glaring.

"What happened to your mission, Saru?"

He had assigned the three of them an in-Konoha mission, and by the looks of it – the mission description had been left in Mito's kitchen, of all places – they had forgotten completely. That, or Tobirama just couldn't count on Hiruzen to command his team (not that they ever took him seriously).

A look of genuine horror flashed across Hiruzen's features as he snatched the scroll and set off at a sprint, panicking. He was duly clobbered by Koharu when he attempted to explain, and Homura simply read the mission description without much celebration. The three left the unfortunate Team Toka to clean up the rest of the mess in the courtyard, making their last few deposits in the growing trash mountain.

"You still look like a tomato."

Tobirama whipped around, looking more than irritated now. He folded his arms tersely and regarded the blunette cautiously; one never knew what Mariko would do next. For all he knew, she might leap into the pile of discarded, fluffy tissues like a gigantic autumn leaf mountain. That, or she would jump on _him_ instead, and beg for a long-overdue piggyback ride.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what."

"Like _that_."

"Like _what_." This part was annoying. She insisted on insisting that he explain things that could not be explained.

And then she made a face that was half pout and half despair.

(It was so completely and utterly adorable that he wished she would stop and keep going at the same time. No, he wanted to her stop.)

This inexplicable expression continued to grace her face until he swooped her up into his arms bridal style and carried her over to the toilet paper mountain.

And then he threw her in it.

Her pout turned to an expression of wide-eyed surprise, and the yelp that came from her mouth was again, so adorable, that Tobirama debated his actions. In any case, Mariko was lost in the mountain of toilet paper, reemerging somewhat mummified.

It seemed that no matter what Tobirama did, Mariko would make another face that was so cute that he wanted to pinch her cheeks.

But this was Senju Tobirama. He did not succumb to cute things, not at all.

(Maybe once in a while. NO. NOT AT ALL, he told himself forcefully.)

It's not like he liked her cuddling, or anything silly like that.

"Tobiramaaaa," she wailed. But despite her predicament, Mariko smiled and let herself fall back into the fluffy pile of tissues. Team Toka evidently found this to be a wonderful idea, and following the trend, they vaulted into the massive pile. It was surprisingly fluffy and bouncy, seeing as Torifu was rolling all over the place. "Join us!" Mariko added, to Tobirama's horror. He knew that if he didn't run now, she would pounce on him and drag him back.

The white-haired Senju turned on his heel and began to walk away briskly. His pace increased when a little blunette with a fearsome tabby cat in her arms began pursuing him.

Welcome to the Senju complex.

* * *

KAGAMI HAD A SON

NARUTO WILL MEET MINATO

HASHIRAMA WILL GLUE TOGETHER TSUNADE

HASHIRAMA. WILL. GLUE. TOGETHER. TSUNADE.

THEY ARE ON THEIR MOUNTAIN HEADS.

I LOVE YOU KISHI, I LOVE YOU SASUKE.

/well...that was awful, I need to calm down and do homework...

Sorry if my freak-out was longer than the story, lol.

You'll get more stuff soon, pshhh.

GO CHECK OUT:

**My deviantART for more Mariko (there's a lot of stuff now, haha)**

_**and**_

**Phoenixyfriend's deviantART. GO NOW.**

**GO.**

**GOOOO.**

**like Hashirama: Tobirama, we shall FLY TO THE BATTLEFIELD!**

**Tobirama: . . . (._.) **


	42. Papaya

_In which Konoha is overthrown by geese, Koharu is moody, and Hiruzen find that he is troubled by his love life._

I don't even... a fun, random story for you all.

Takeshi = the most random child you will find in the series of Naruto. Beware.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because there was no chapter this week... (I heard there's a double chapter next week though...!)

**Note: **I totally wasn't eating a really good papaya at some point during this story...

* * *

**Chapter 43: ****Papaya**

* * *

"He did _what_?!" exclaimed Koharu, eyes widening and mouth slightly agape. And then she was absolutely livid, face pink and looking like murder. If one thought that the Second Hokage was a fearsome figure when angered, then they had it coming for them – this was Utatane Koharu, overly protective and tetchier than a stubborn mare.

"Koharu, Koharu, calm down," called Biwako, grabbing her friend's sleeve insistently. Then, more sternly in a whisper: "Sit down, you're making a scene!"

Koharu grudgingly plopped back down in the chair, picking hesitantly at the remnants of her lunch. The café shop waiters and waitresses cast them uneasy glances; they knew very well the consequences of anything that had to do with this young generation of shinobi. Last time someone got angry in this shop, Uchiha Kagami had nearly set the place on fire – he was a sweet kid, really – and a poor Inuzuka boy who broke the windows cowered behind a vegetable stand down the street. And then, someone else got angry, and it all ended with an Akimichi crushing half the shop.

"I will _not_ calm down," she hissed. "How could he do that?!"

"It's okay, really," Biwako insisted, smiling gently.

"No, no it isn't."

"It's not a big deal, let it go." Biwako took a sip of her drink, pausing. "And besides, this is between me and him. You don't have to do a thing."

"He's my teammate, and you're my best friend." Koharu folded her arms, eyes narrowing. For a moment, she was a striking replica of the Second Hokage, her former sensei, with a stance as cold and calculating as the white-haired Senju on a bad day. Then again, usually the icy Hokage could be melted down a few degrees with a bundle of blunette, but there was no such remedy for Koharu. Well, maybe Kagami, but Koharu was a moody thing and needed to be handled with much care.

Biwako sighed. "Well, don't say anything too obvious. He probably doesn't even know."

"How can he _not_ know?"

"He probably didn't do it on purpose."

"Probably," echoed Koharu pointedly. "Or probably not."

"I don't think he would leave me on purpose." Biwako made a face and set down her drink with a frustrated clink. The ice cubes in the lemonade swirled lightly, tinkling gently against the glass. It was a beautiful day; sunny with blue skies, picturesque Konoha at the height of spring.

"Well I think I should tell him," Koharu said.

"Hint at it. Don't say anything obvious," repeated Biwako, relenting just a little. Koharu would not be persuaded otherwise, and she was getting tired of this hassle.

"He _ditched_ you."

"He forgot."

"He _left you standing_."

"It slipped his mind."

Koharu threw her hands up. "I'm not getting anywhere with you today."

"That's fine," sighed Biwako, dejectedly slumping back into her seat.

"See? It _pains_ you to think about it." Koharu grinned smugly, knowing full well that she was right. Biwako was worried about what had happened the day before, no matter what claims she put up to defend with. "I'm going to talk with him. We have a mission to start later today, anyway."

"Don't say anything—"

"Too obvious, I know," laughed Koharu. She stood and smiled at her best friend. "I'm not that awful, you know."

She threw a casual wave over her shoulder, and Biwako watched the kunoichi disappear down the street. Playing with her ponytail, she looked up at the cute umbrella that adorned the table of the outdoor café – business was good and everyone was bustling about. A couple sitting in a farther corner caught her eye; she realized that she knew the girl, and smiled to herself. They looked so happy.

She supposed that Koharu was right. Somewhere, deep inside, she struggled with the tidal wave of feelings that came along with the life of a teenage girl – and Hiruzen was the source.

* * *

"Saru, you're going to either stop fidgeting or give me forty," Tobirama snapped aggressively. The monkey immediately stopped whatever it was that he was doing, and stood at attention. Tobirama glared, still holding the mission description scroll in a death grip. "You know what, give me forty anyway."

Hiruzen made a pitiful noise that Koharu inwardly smirked at, and dropped to his knees.

_Really, sensei?_ Hiruzen's face asked, puppy dog eyes and all.

"If you don't start now, I'll make it eighty."

Hiruzen looked to Koharu for help, and when she offered no assistance whatsoever, he glanced meekly at the ever-silent Homura. The glint of Homura's glasses revealed nothing. Both he and Koharu were wise enough to remain silent when the Second Hokage was in a bad mood – and there was no blue-haired heroine around to save them – but their unfortunate third teammate was not as quick to catch on.

"Saru, one hundred. Now."

Hiruzen whimpered and began his one hundred push-ups without further ado, coming to the realization that waiting another second would probably add another fifty to his list.

Koharu sighed to herself. It had been a while since Tobirama was this agitated; she wondered why. Meanwhile, he handed out the mission description to her and she read it over briefly. Something about guarding a lord's daughter on her marriage arrangement trip because the other party was far away, and the area was potentially dangerous. Koharu thought to herself, _why would you marry off your daughter to someone so sketchy?_

She estimated a total of three days, and then they'd be back. It wasn't a far trip there and back, and the subject of their escort was not traveling far either.

"She's requested that a woman accompanies her at all times," Tobirama informed them tiredly. He nodded sharply at Koharu, who slid the scroll into her weapons pouch. "I've heard that she's quite the picky one."

"Lovely," deadpanned Koharu. Her reply was so much like himself that Tobirama couldn't help but smirk.

Hiruzen stood up then, rubbing his arms and cowering slightly behind Koharu. Given his current situation with both Tobirama and Biwako, Koharu was tempted to smack him out the window. But the poor thing was confused and sore, so she refrained from doing so…for now.

"Hokage-sama, what is the weather for the next three days?" asked Homura.

"Should be sunny," replied Tobirama. Then he glared at the bespectacled boy, because he despised the way he was addressed. "Homura, don't call me that."

"Sorry, sensei. Habit."

Tobirama didn't stop glaring, because it wasn't habit at all. Their habit was calling him sensei. Homura, in particular, was often thrown between the two because when he addressed Tobirama in the presence of his team, informality was accepted. However, when he worked with the village council, they clicked their tongues disapprovingly when he addressed the greatest shinobi in the village with a term of familiarity. And thus, Homura was a confused child.

"Now get out of my office."

The three scrambled; Koharu made a mental note to see where their poor, agitated sensei's wife was.

* * *

"Eh, Koharu-chan, how've you been?"

"I'm well, how about you?"

"I'm pretty good." The blunette smiled sweetly, toting her one-year-old daughter. Her son peeked out from behind her skirt and giggled at Koharu, a bundle of cuteness in the form of a blue-haired boy. "What's up?"

"Sensei's in a bad mood," Koharu began. She wasn't quite sure how to explain, but the look on Mariko's face told her she didn't need to. The blunette burst out in laughter, startling the baby girl in her arms.

"He's always in a bad mood," she laughed. "This one kept him up all night." She bounced the little girl in her arms. "Oh, that reminds me – he has to babysit Takeshi for the rest of the day."

Koharu found that odd; didn't Danzo usually do that?"

"Poor Danzo's got a difficult mission, so he's not around," Mariko said, as if reading the girl's mind. "Oh well. The Hokage can use some non-paper related work, right?"

She grinned, bid Koharu a good day, and skipped off to the Hokage Tower. It seemed that the blue-haired woman was forever a teenager – despite how tiring that seemed – and had a bottomless pit of energy to spare. Koharu had seen Mariko a few times, absolutely spent, and that was either after childbirth, after some life-threatening event, or after an entire day of carrying her children to twenty different places because Tobirama insisted on it for some reason.

"KOHARU!"

Her thoughts were interrupted by a horribly familiar voice – and it was horrible because he was so annoying and sweet and doting that she could puke.

A bundle of hand-picked flowers was thrust into her face.

"Good luck on your mission," he said, so very sweetly. Why was he so sweet?

Koharu bashfully accepted them, granting him a small smile. His face lit up when he saw that she was pleased with him. He was a puppy dog, far cuter than the rowdy Inuzuka of their age group, and he followed her around because he usually had nothing better to do.

Well, either that, or he was avoiding his entire clan.

He also served as a surprisingly well-disguised bodyguard.

There was a time when a few older chuunin boys had tried to harass Koharu – as expected, the Sharingan came out with an unforeseen viciousness, and the Uchiha crest on his back scared the living daylights out of them. Those three rambunctious chuunin were never again seen within fifty yards of Koharu, and they fled at first sight of Kagami.

"Thanks," Koharu replied.

Then, unexpectedly, he swooped down and planted a chaste kiss on her lips before skipping away briskly.

"I have a mission too, so I'll see you later!" he called over his shoulder, waving.

Koharu touched her lips, and then hid her face behind her bouquet. That stupid, sweet idiot. She wished her face did not redden so easily, and spent the last hour before her departure in a mental quarrel with her lovey-dovey girl side and the warrior kunoichi that tried to murder all her emotions with a thousand Hiraishingiri strikes.

* * *

"I'm busy," was the reply to the soft knock on his office door.

But his request was not taken seriously, and the door clicked open. A bouncy little boy bounded over to his father's desk and patted his leg insistently, gurgling nonsense because he liked to gurgle nonsense.

"Daddy, Daddy, guess what I did? I did this, and then I did this, and then I saw some gooses and gooses were so big! Daddy guess what?!" Takeshi grabbed the Hokage's leg like his life depended on it. Tobirama, though still in a sour mood, could not help but scoop up his son and place him on his lap.

"What?" he asked, just to entertain the boy's question.

"I saw gooses!"

"That's nice," he said. He lacked the motivation to actually continue the conversation, though he knew that Takeshi would carry on nonetheless. His wife had entered and was carrying Kori, silently watching this father-son exchange.

"Daddy guess what?"

"What?"

"The gooses were THIS BIG!" Takeshi threw his arms out and ended up nearly falling off Tobirama's lap, laughing excitedly. "Daddy, can we be gooses too?"

"Why do you want to be a goose?"

"So we can fly! And then I also wanna be a deers, because deers are super fast!" The three-year-old began babbling some sort of strange theory about how the Naka River was the home to a thousand deer that could manipulate shadows – Tobirama assumed this was about the Nara clan – and would join the geese in some crusade for justice.

He tousled the boy's hair and he recoiled; he was just like his mother.

"What brings you here?" he asked.

"You are now in charge of him," Mariko said, pointing at their son. "And I heard you were in a bad mood."

"I'm not in a bad mood."

She made a face. "Do you need a hug?"

Tobirama glared at her, attempting to continue his paperwork around the squirming little boy in his lap.

"No, but you can have him back for now," Tobirama said, gesturing to Takeshi.

"No." Mariko narrowed her eyes. "You promised, and I have to go to the hospital for Kori's checkup. Her cough came back."

This softened the Hokage a tad, and he waved Mariko over to his side of the desk. He gently took his daughter from Mariko, while balancing Takeshi on his knees.

"Her cough's back? You're sure?" He held Kori with one arm and pressed a finger of chakra to the baby's forehead. As far as he could tell, her chakra circulation was fine, so it was probably just a common cold. The usually silent baby girl giggled, before breaking off in a small cough.

"I think she's just got a cold," Mariko said. "Mito's back from Uzu today, so she'll check up on her too."

Reassured, Tobirama returned his daughter to Mariko, but not before pressing a kiss to the baby's forehead. Mariko gave him a look that said she wanted one to, and he turned his face up to her.

"Lazy," she muttered, before pressing her lips to his briefly. He smiled and hooked an arm around her head, keeping them together for a few more seconds. They were interrupted by Takeshi, who screamed:

"I'M THE HOKAGE!"

And proceeded to stamp all of the papers within reach of his little arms, branding each and every one of the documents with a hard, red "DENIED".

"Takeshi!" exclaimed Mariko, scooping up the little boy from his father's lap. Tobirama groaned and sorted through the now ruined papers — Toka would have to copy them, and she would get pissed at him for making her do work, and then he would have to go through them all over again.

Takeshi, on the other hand, had gone dangerously silent, a fat tear blobbing down his cheek.

"Sorry, Daddy," he mumbled over Mommy's shoulder, despaired at his father's unhappiness. Mariko, who found Takeshi increasingly heavy nowadays, let the boy slide to the ground.

Tobirama sighed.

"It's okay," he replied, beckoning the little boy over. Takeshi padded to his father's lap, grabbing his knee with his head hung low. The white-haired Senju ruffled his son's sapphire head and patted his cheek to console him. "Hey bud, come back up here."

Takeshi's face broke out into an overjoyed grin as he clambered back onto Tobirama's lap, settling himself and hiding halfway behind Tobirama's jacket. He reached up at patted the faceguard that his father wore fondly.

"Daddy, can we still be gooses?" he asked.

"Sure we can," replied his father. "Is there anything else you want to be? You want to be Hokage?"

"No," Takeshi said, changing his mind — children tended to either stick with one thing for an unbearably long time or change at the slightest inspiration — and picked something else he wanted to be. "I wanna be a deers."

"A deer?"

"Daddy is one of the gooses, I'm a deer, and Uncle Hiruzen's a monkey," giggled Takeshi.

"That's right, he is a monkey," Tobirama answered, shoving the last of the faultily stamped papers into the recycling bin. "Now, tell me, why am I a goose?"

"That's 'cause you've got white hair," Takeshi explained, as if that made all the sense in the word. Tobirama supposed that some geese were white, and that there was some sort of logic to his son's madness.

"Then why are you a deer? Deer aren't blue."

"If I say deers are blue, then deers are blue," Takeshi informed his father with the most serious face one could put on. "Besides," he added, "Mommy's a deer, and Mommy's blue."

"Why's Mommy a deer?"

"Because I said so."

Tobirama threw Mariko a glance, but the blunette was cooing softly to their daughter, who was currently in a state of frustrated confusion. The little one was hungry, and she began to whine and burrow into her mother's breast. Mariko sighed and nodded at Tobirama, signaling that she would head home for now.

Tobirama, on the other hand, was fairly distracted by Takeshi.

"I don't like butterflies," Takeshi stated bluntly.

"And why is that?"

"I dunno, I just don't."

And later: "Daddy, what's your favorite fruit?"

"Papaya."

"What's a papaya?"

"You've had it before."

"I have?" Takeshi made a face and twisted to look up at his father, the Hokage who was currently trying to finish as many papers as possible so that he could go copy the ruined ones himself and not bother Toka. _Wait_, he thought. _Kagami's in the village. I'll have him do it_. There was a benefit to having a cheery Uchiha on one's side — for one, he was not evil, and secondly, he was the sweetest kid on earth besides Takeshi.

"Daddy. Daddy. _Daddy_," insisted the blue boy.

"What's up?"

"Why isn't it called _Daddy-ya_?"

"Why isn't…what?"

"Papaya. Why isn't it _daddy-ya_?" Takeshi tugged at Tobirama's fur collar. The Hokage glanced down at this son, and Takeshi continued, "Is it the same reason why mooses are the same as deers but not the same as deers and more like buffalo?"

Tobirama sighed. The Academy would have a great time with his son.

"Honestly, Takeshi, that is not something I would know."

* * *

"We're not lost."

"We're lost."

"We are _not_." Hiruzen shook the map like a peacock ruffling its grand feathers, bristling in defense.

"Are you sure the map's not upside down?" hissed Koharu, shaking an angry finger in his direction.

"I'm sure," replied Hiruzen, showing her the map. It was, indeed, right side up.

"Then why don't you let me or Homura take a look? We can help, you know," growled the kunoichi of the team, arms folded. They weren't even at the lord's manor yet, and already bumbling through a forest that was probably on the wrong side of the Fire Country. At this rate, Koharu's estimated three days would extend to three weeks.

Homura reached over and gently took the map from Hiruzen's hands; the monkey relented, watching curiously as the silent, bespectacled chuunin read over the geographic lines and borders carefully. Without delay, Homura began trekking in a somewhat northbound direction. He said nothing, only walked.

The other two followed obediently – Homura, in these cases, tended to be the most useful. He was probably the only sane one, too.

* * *

Kagami found great pleasure in accompanying the Hokage's son. While he sped over papers with his handy-dandy Sharingan, his other hand flying over blank pages with a pen that could have given the Flying Thunder God a run for his money, Kagami held a rather interesting conversation with a blue-haired Senju boy.

"Gagami-nii-chan," giggled Takeshi – he still couldn't really say Kagami's name correctly – patting the pile of papers, "do you know why a papaya isn't called a _daddy-ya_?"

Kagami glanced up briefly before returning to his hasty but neat scripting.

"I think it's because the young shinobi papaya had called his father _papa_ since birth, so the name is to remain _papa_ya forever," the Uchiha answered easily. He noticed, out of the corner of his eye, that the little boy was fiddling with his forehead protector. Kagami had taken off the hitai-ate when Takeshi had asked, and the boy seemed to enjoy the glint of the metal and the dip of the Konoha symbol.

"But why did that papaya get to decide?" Takeshi asked.

"Well, that papaya was known as the God of all Papayas, just like how your uncle was the God of Shinobi," explained Kagami. "Someone as powerful as the God of Shinobi can name important things, right?"

"Like how Uncle Hashirama made the _Hokage_?"

"Yeah, just like that," agreed Kagami, smiling. Finishing another document – he was a naturally artistic boy, and could even copy down graphs and pictures with ease – and adding it to his growing stack, the Uchiha watched the boy ponder this.

Meanwhile, at this desk, Tobirama listened silently. He diligently went through his papers, once in a while taking a few that Kagami offered, newly rewritten. Tobirama had always been fast with paperwork, most of the time. Hashirama used to tease him that he was faster and better with papers than with women – and then Mito would slap the back of her husband's head, clicking her tongue – but Tobirama never really cared. (Not when he could easily defend himself with the claim that Mariko would say otherwise.)

What Tobirama really found amazing, however, was Kagami's patience. The boy never failed to answer Takeshi's questions, even the most incessant, annoying ones.

When Takeshi said, "Your eyes are red marbles", Kagami then replied:

"They sure are! They're the most rare ones, you know?"

At that, Takeshi giggled happily and clapped his hands.

"Daddy's eyes are red too. But they're not marbles."

Tobirama made a face at this, but continued signing documents nonetheless.

"Mommy has green marble eyes," Takeshi chirped. He began listing as many people as he could, deciding whether or not they had marble eyes.

"How about you? Do you have marble eyes?" asked Kagami.

"I dunno," mumbled the little blue boy, "my eyes are like Daddy's."

"Yeah, but that means your eyes are like red suns," Kagami offered, smiling. Tobirama smiled slightly, because the Uchiha never failed to cheer up the little boy across from him. Takeshi's face lit up, and he bounced excitedly.

"Suns," the boy echoed.

"And your hair is like the ocean," Kagami added. "So you're bigger and better than all those marble-eyed people, right?"

"Suns," repeated Takeshi, in wonder. Kagami reached over and ruffled the boys hair, causing him to squeal in protest. The two burst out in laughter, and Tobirama could not help but smile some more at them. Kagami, with years of caring for a little sister under his belt, was a splendid sibling. He will become a wonderful husband and father, Tobirama thought.

"I can be…the SUN HOKAGE!" squawked Takeshi, stumbling to his feet and leaping over to Tobirama's desk. "DADDY, DADDY, WE CAN BE THE SUN-DEER-HOKAGE-GOOSES!" he screamed, slapping Tobirama's leg with his little hands.

"I'm sure we can," agreed Tobirama, sighing when Takeshi bumped into the desk and sent a flurry of papers fluttering to the floor. Kagami went to pick them up, laughing.

"Wait, wait, wait," Takeshi said, holding up his chubby hands. He waited until he had all the attention. When both Tobirama and Kagami went still and were silent enough for his liking, he said:

"Can we also be papayas?"

* * *

"We apologize greatly for our tardiness," Hiruzen said, surprising the two of his teammates. The Sarutobi was subserviently kneeling before the portly lord and his daughter, bowing deeply with his head to the floor. Koharu and Homura followed suit, so as to refrain from angering the lord. His daughter, a tall, wide girl with pretty eyes and a round heart-shaped face, watched them timidly. Her stature made for awkward greeting – she nodded at them from behind her father, who was shorter than her – and she was terribly shy.

They began their real mission, accompanying the princess. Hiruzen walked alongside the carriage while Homura scouted slightly to the north as they traveled westward. Koharu, as requested, remained inside the carriage with the girl. She occasionally leaned out to talk to Hiruzen.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"What was what about?"

"You apologizing."

"Oh. I dunno." Hiruzen shrugged and looked oddly distant, staring off into the trees with no real aim. He pretended to scan for danger, but his eyes were blank and tended to stray off to nothing in particular.

"Is something bothering you?"

Hiruzen shrugged again. He sometimes hated when Koharu could read him like an open book, because she picked at it like a scab. Sometimes, Hiruzen just wanted to think about things by himself. Arriving late to the lord's mansion had, in fact, bothered him. If the lord had been an impatient man, then the difference of a few hours would have cost them their mission. Maybe he would have looked elsewhere for closer, faster shinobi. Certainly not a couple of teenage slackers who weren't capable of arriving on time.

Of course, this directly correlated to his love life (because that makes _so_ much sense). He had arrived horrendously tardy to his date with Biwako. To his horror, she wasn't even there, and he supposed that she'd gotten tired of waiting and had wandered away. Maybe she even found one of her girlfriends and ate lunch without him. Even worse, maybe she ate lunch with _another guy_.

He'd scrounged the area for her, but she was nowhere to be found.

Well, that was probably a given, seeing as he'd arrived three hours late.

It wasn't his fault, honestly! Okay, it was his fault. Apparently, cheering up Tobirama-sensei should not include spray-painting the Hokage Mountain blue – it was only the hair, though – and convincing everyone that they were now living in the brand new republic of Hurricane-gakure.

And thus, Tobirama sentenced the poor monkey to a series of grueling, time-consuming jobs that made him three hours late, despite Hiruzen's determined "explosion of youth". Such a blast of energy and grit allowed him to finish these jobs at an inhumanly speed, but he was still merely a chuunin who liked to pull pranks, and thus was late to his meeting with dear Biwako.

"Hiruzen, pay attention!" snapped Koharu, pulling the boy back into his head. "Homura's signal just came on; two at four o'clock," she hissed out the carriage window. The wide-eyed princess watched warily, tucking her straw-colored hair behind her ears nervously. She had big blue eyes and a round figure; had she been a little smaller and a shinobi, Koharu would have mistaken her for one of the Yamanaka girls.

Hiruzen glanced behind his right shoulder, but all he caught was a few of the princess's wagons and a couple of travelers conveniently sticking with them for safety. The chuunin leapt over to the other side of the cart train, and surveyed the forest from there.

A kunai flew past his head, and he flicked it away with one of his own.

"Koharu, close the windows!" he called. His teammate did as she was told, snapping the carriage windows shut and drawing a scroll. She debated whether or not to scrawl a seal down on the door, and figured that if she closed off one side, she could defend the other. Koharu inked the left door, sealing it shut, and told the girl to sit up against it. Immediately, the nervous blonde scuttled to the other end of the seat, while Koharu drew a short blade and waited at the other.

As expected, an enemy nin crashed the door open, and she sliced him through the gut without hesitation. From a distance, Hiruzen made a face.

"You didn't have to kill him," he called.

"I didn't," Koharu said. "I just stabbed him."

"You killed him."

The enemy nin crawled up and groaned.

"No, no I didn't," repeated Koharu, throwing a kunai for good measure. The man went down, stayed down, and didn't move. Hiruzen waved frantically.

"You killed him!"

"No, he's just down!"

Hiruzen made a face; he wasn't fond of Koharu's brusque attacking nature. She was fierce and struck immediately, a snake with deadly venom shooting from its fangs.

The enemy shinobi came in a group of four, and were taken down without much difficulty. In fact, Koharu surmised that they were no more than three genin and a chuunin, none of them more capable than their three-man cell. Homura returned from scouting and traded places with Hiruzen; Koharu was stuck in the moving cabin.

At dusk, they reached a small in where they would spend the night, and Koharu accompanied the girl to her bedroom. As she was requested to, Koharu remained unobtrusively in the corner of the girl's room, stationed by the window in case of enemy infiltration.

To her surprise, the girl was still uncomfortable. Koharu could not tell if the young duchess was just nervous, or if she didn't want Koharu there. In an awkward moment of uncharacteristic openness, Koharu offered to make conversation with the girl.

"So, do you know who you're marrying?"

"I do," she said. "I've met him before."

_Well, then I suppose it's not _as_ bad as not knowing him, _Koharu thought to herself. She wondered vaguely what her fiancé looked like, and recalled a doe-eyed blunette skittishly wandering the Konoha streets several years ago, simply because she'd gotten lost and couldn't get back to the Senju complex. The poor thing was probably traumatized, and Tobirama hadn't really paid her any attention until later. But then, Koharu also supposed the Mariko was lucking in that she had a pretty little love story. She'd heard that all the Hurricane siblings, save the oldest, had been successfully married off and were living happy love stories.

Koharu had never liked happy princess endings, to be honest. She thought them to be too perfect, too shiny and dazzling and superficial.

The blonde girl was silent, now, absently braiding a thin lock of hair. Despite her large stature and apparent shyness, she was quite pretty. She was not beautiful, nor was she plain. Koharu thought that this lord's young daughter had a decent face, and was a kind girl (if she spoke up, anyway).

"Do you…like him?" asked Koharu. She then thought about her question. "Pardon me if I'm being rude, I was just curious."

The girl flashed her a tiny smile and shook her head. "Not at all, I enjoy your company. I've never had many friends…my father never let me socialize beyond the court."

Koharu nodded, somewhat understanding. Kagami's father often tried to rein in his son and keep him under a tight leash, but Kagami was more of a cat than a dog, and tended to wiggle his way out of any restraints, even if it meant hiding under the Hokage's desk, playing rock-paper-scissors with Takeshi.

"He's a nice gentleman," said the young princess. "Chikusa is a noble man."

It occurred to Koharu that she didn't even know the girl's name – what was it, Mara? – but she refrained

from asking to be polite. It would be rude to suddenly ask their employer her name.

But there was a sense of dreaminess and wonder that came with her description of him – "dark-haired and quite tall", she said – that made Koharu wonder. Then, the antsiness from earlier returned, and a telltale glance at the window made Koharu frown. Even so, she continued her conversation with the girl until night fell, and they both went to sleep.

Naturally a light sleeper and a kunoichi who studied sensory ninjutsu under the Second Hokage himself, it was expected that Koharu immediately knew when the girl woke up. Mara, surprisingly quick and agile for her body build, had cloaked herself in a dark cape and had slipped out the window within seconds. A glance over her shoulder showed her that Koharu had leapt to the window, bewildered.

Mara took off at a sprint.

Koharu leapt out the window after the princess, pausing only to knock fiercely on the boys' room window. She then cursed the hotel for no apparent reason – they should've gotten a second floor room, instead – and began to track the princess.

It wasn't hard, really. She was obvious and not sneaky, and thus Koharu trailed her easily. Curiosity spurred her to watch where Mara was going, and was shocked to see a figure meeting her halfway. The tall princess embraced with an even taller man, whose broad shoulders impressively encompassed her own.

"Dark and quite tall", was it?

"Why does this happen to us," she muttered, drawing a kunai. She whipped out from behind the cospse of trees and shouted: "Step away from the princess!"

Startled, the two of them broke apart and the man drew a short sword.

"No, Chikusa," exclaimed the princess.

Chikusa.

Koharu wanted to slap something, she was so tired of shenanigans. Really. For once, she would like a princess escort mission to end without trouble, like it was supposed to. But, alas, this was the shinobi world, and odd things were bound to happen at any point in time. For all she knew, Hiruzen might _actually_ be a monkey. He was just hiding his tail.

"She's a hired guard, don't worry," said Mara.

"She's pointing a kunai at me," the man rumbled, in a low, baritone voice.

"I sort of ran away from her," Mara whispered.

"Oh my gosh," exclaimed Koharu, snapping. "If you two are going to meet up, _just tell us_! We're not your father, we're not going to forbid you from meeting someone!"

She threw her hands up, and the secret couple watched her with wide eyes.

At that point, Hiruzen and Homura came running, and happened upon a confusing sight.

"Um. What's going on?"

Hiruzen dodged a punch from Koharu, and then whimpered and ducked behind Homura.

"Wahh, Koharu, don't kill me!" he wailed.

"You're all idiots," she hissed caustically. Then, whipping around: "Princess, if you would please inform us of the next time you wish to meet your fiancé?"

Bashfully, the princess nodded.

Koharu walked around a corner and punched a hole in a wall, Tsunade-style.

* * *

"I think it's her time of the month," Hiruzen whispered from his cot. Across the bland, empty floor, Homura pretended that he hadn't heard his teammate. Unfortunately, the Sarutobi never left things to silence, and continued, "It's definitely her time of the month. What do you think? You know, Biwako isn't as moody as Koharu…though I haven't seen her since…"

He trailed off and stared at the ceiling, worried.

"Hey, Homura," he called over. "Do you think Biwako's mad?"

Silence.

"Homura?"

The subject of Hiruzen's attention feigned sleep.

"_I know you're awake_," Hiruzen whispered, dragging himself off his cot and slithering towards his partner. "_I see you_."

"That's creepy, okay," said Homura bluntly, turning around and staring at his friend, half on his mattress, half sprawled across the tatami mats.

"No, but seriously, do you think she's mad?"

"Nah. Just go talk to her."

"Thank you, oh wise one who never talks to me."

Homura rolled around again, closed his eyes, and hoped that Hiruzen would just shut up now.

* * *

"I'M THE GOOSEKAGE!" came the cry, so loud that half the passersby turned. Danzo, holding the hand of a wobbly three-year-old, pretended that nothing had just happened. The next time they turned down a busy street, it turned into: "I'M THE SUNKAGE! SEE MY SUN-DEERS!"

Danzo swore that the boy was trying to say "see my tsunderes!" except with a twisted pronunciation, because he melded the last syllables into a single E sound. He continued holding the boy's hand, nonchalantly walking towards the Hokage Tower.

As soon as Kagami came into sight, Takeshi screamed:

"AND YOU'RE THE MARBLEKAGE!"

"Ah, Goosekage-dono, how are you?" Kagami kneeled and grinned at the little boy. Danzo, completely lost, stared at the two of them.

"I'm off to my office!" announced Takeshi. "How are your gooses in Marble-gakure?"

"Hey, I thought that _you_ guys were the gooses, and we had the deers."

"No, Konoha has deers. We have ducks!"

Kagami was thoughtful. Then: "Okay then, shall we have a deernin and goosenin exam, then?"

"I'm not a deernin yet," explained Takeshi, as if this conversation made all the sense in the world. "But Danzo-nii-chan is a ducknin."

This must've been some sort of twisted shinobi terminology, in which deers were genin, geese were chuunin, and ducks were jounin, because that was all Danzo could deduce. Kagami continued bantering with the little blue one until Takeshi claimed that "Mount Deerkage was about to fall on its geeses because Uncle Hashirama said so". At this, Kagami laughed, claimed he had something to do, and skipped away.

"Hey," Danzo said. "Why am I a ducknin?"

"Because Danzo-nii-chan can fly."

Danzo decided not to pursue this conversation any further.

* * *

"Yo, Koharu!" A bouquet of flowers was thrust into the girl's face upon her return to Konoha, and this time it was a prettily arranged Yamanaka item. Koharu accepted, ignoring the leer on Hiruzen's face, and timidly took the offered arm. Kagami skipped off, literally dragging her behind him. "This barbecue shop just opened, let's go check it out!"

And then, to his surprise, Hiruzen came face to face with Biwako, who smiled gently at him.

"Biwako!"

"Hey," she said, taking his arm.

Poor Homura sort of just slunk away with his book, only to run into Danzo and an excited sapphire-topped three-year-old who insisted that Homura was a goose.

"You're not mad?" asked Hiruzen, after a few moments of awkward silence.

"No," she said carefully. "You're not mad at me, are you?"

Shocked, Hiruzen made a face so comical that Biwako stifled a giggle.

"No! I accidentally made Tobirama-sensei mad, and he made me do _all this stuff_," – Hiruzen waved his arms dramatically – "and then I was late! By like, three hours."

"Oh."

"You're mad," he said, face falling.

"No, I'm not." Her smile returned. "It's okay; just find me earlier next time and tell me."

"Sorry, I had that mission, and then it took like five days, and then—"

Biwako planted a kiss on his cheek and he shut up.

"I told you, it's _fine_."

Hiruzen's face lit up, and he happily sauntered down to the Hokage Tower to submit his mission report, a relieved Biwako at his side. To be honest, both of them were about to burst out in tears of relief.

They arrived to find that Konoha was not, in fact, being taken over by crazy Kiri nin, but by a much greater menace.

"LORD SUNGOOSEKAGE-SAMA HAS ARRIVED!"

More papers were ruined, to say the least.

* * *

Watch out, Hiruzen. The title of Third Hokage may be knocked out by the FIRST GOOSEKAGE!

I don't even...

Ken and Chikusa, from KHR? No? Yes? No? No.

Double chapterrrrrrrrr.

**Emeralds** is churning out slowly...like badly made chemistry ice cream.


	43. Gifts, or something like that

Is it just me, or was chapter 628 kind of disappointing? The best part of Madara's face...omg. lol.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, because RtN Japanese audio isn't out yet, and this week's chapter was... yeah.

**NOTE: MARIKO HAS AN ASK ACCOUNT! GO ASK HER STUFF! Make a deviantART if you don't have one! Link is on my profile page.**

**Note 2: **To the kind guests and anons - I love your reviews. I love everyone's reviews! Thank you thank you :)

**Note 3: **To the anon who asked when they would have sex - the answer: They have plenty of it...you just have to look harder...

That, and this chapter...I don't really know what happened, lol... Dear anon, your question is answered...

**Note 3.5: **Oh my Obito, my health teacher...ffff. So, I'm in a mandatory health class, yeah? And they're teaching sex ed, and my teacher...he's the funny teacher, but the jokes...oh my gosh the jokes.

ALL I THOUGHT WAS DEIDARA, CURSE YOU PHOENIX.

Anyway.

**Note 4: **Anyone else waiting for Road to Ninja Japanese audio?

Onto the story...

* * *

**Chapter 43: Gifts, or something like that.**

* * *

"I hate studying. I hate studying. I hate studying. I HATE—"

"Oh shut up, Hiruzen."

"Koharu's mean."

"Suck it up."

"Uwahhh!"

"You're pissing me off!"

"DEAL WITH IT." Hiruzen stuck his tongue out at his teammate, who deftly picked up an incredibly large volume of _A History of Western Shinobi Society _one-handed and chucked it at his head. The monkey quickly dodged, ducking fearfully under the table and crawling over to Homura's seat. Homura wanted to kick him, but he refrained from doing so.

"Remember the last time you didn't do your work?" hissed Koharu angrily.

"All I remember is a librarian not recognizing Mariko-san," Hiruzen said, face completely straight as he peered over the edge of the table.

"You idiot!" Koharu went for another book. Homura wisely nudged his own texts out of the way, tucking them under his backpack so that Koharu wouldn't attempt to throw them at their third teammate.

"_Quiet_, in the library," hissed the librarian, "and _please – _no throwing of valuable textbooks."

Koharu sheepishly put down the book and went to retrieve _A History of Western Shinobi Society_ from the far corner of their study area. Hiruzen deemed it safe to crawl back into his seat and open his binder, despite the fact that he wanted nothing to do with it. Why, he asked to no one in particular, did they have to study if they were already chuunin and had no affiliation with the Academy anymore? _Why_ was it that textbooks would always come back to haunt him? For one, Hiruzen cared nothing for the Shinobi International Peace Conferences during who-knows-what-year, and two – didn't they fail, anyway? What was the point of learning about something that failed?

"Because it's recent news," said Homura simply.

_Did I just say that aloud?_

"Yeah. Yeah, you did," grumbled Koharu, flipping through her folders.

"Oh." Hiruzen went quiet. Well, it was true that this wasn't old news – the founding of Konoha and the creation of many more shinobi village-nation alliances was within the era of their own families and teachers. Hiruzen's father had been their age when the Sarutobi allied with the already existing (though newly formed) Senju-Uchiha pact. Then Danzo's family came, and then some others, and some others, and—

Hiruzen realized that he was acknowledging history.

He shook his head vehemently.

"Wait, so was the Tajima Plan an economic welfare program for his clan, or was it some sort of alliance with another clan?" asked Koharu.

"It was to promote nationalism amongst the Uchiha and their allies," Homura replied plainly. Hiruzen had once wondered if Homura was a human calculator – now, it seemed, the bespectacled member of Team Tobirama was also a living textbook.

"So basically, it was _Go out and kill all the Senju_, _and then we'll all be happy!_" deadpanned Hiruzen.

"Correct," interjected a familiar voice, looming over them. "How far are you guys?"

"Not far, sensei," sighed Koharu, pointing an accusatory finger at Hiruzen, "because of him."

Hiruzen whined. "Why are we even taking this?"

"Taking what?" Tobirama folded his arms.

"Well, Kagami told us that—no. No, no, no." Hiruzen's face morphed into an expression of half rage and half shame. "He tricked us!"

"No," replied Tobirama. "I told him to tell you to study."

"Why?!"

"Because you'll need it. I'm testing you on this stuff."

"Then why did you ask what we were taking?"

"Saru, you all right? You seem to believe that I'm giving you a test." Tobirama reached over and untied Hiruzen's hitai-ate, laying the back of his hand along the boy's forehead. If Hiruzen was turning red, it was simply because he was angry and wanted Tobirama to stop messing with him. He'd known the man since he was four, and he sometimes just wanted a bit of peace from the white-haired Senju.

"I'm fine," snapped Hiruzen, brushing Tobirama's hand away.

"_Quiet, _in the library," hissed the librarian again.

"My apologies, ma'am," Tobirama called. The librarian's eyes widened, and she shuffled away hurriedly at the sight of the Second Hokage.

"Wait a minute, what are you even doing here?" asked Koharu.

"Homura, how far are you?" said Tobirama, ignoring the girl completely. This put Koharu on Hiruzen's side, and the both of them were glowering at their sensei with death glares. (Inwardly, Tobirama proudly patted himself on the back for teaching them such a powerful expression.)

"I'm on the political marriages," Homura said simply.

"You're far," replied his teacher, nodding in approval. "See, you guys should follow Homura. He's your study role model."

"Right," growled Hiruzen.

"Sensei, shouldn't you be working?" Koharu made a face at their teacher. "_Hokage-sama_," she mocked, turning up her nose. "Oh _Hokage-sama_, you are _needed_ in the _Hokage Tower_."

Tobirama rolled his eyes. He was glad he didn't deal with these three full time anymore. Homura he could deal with, because the quiet boy was never much a hassle and very obedient. Hiruzen, on the other hand, was a rowdy crowd of twenty in the body of one boy, and Koharu was a ball of hormonal teenage fury. Occasionally, he was not sure whether Koharu's rath or Mito's rath would be more terrifying. He was wise enough to stay out of a woman's path when an evident ball of PMS fire – described by poor Kagami as the Katon: Female Fireball of Fury no jutsu – threatened to blast the immediate surroundings to bits and pieces.

"Not at the moment, no," mused Tobirama, nodding.

* * *

Somewhere else.

"Um. Takeshi-kun, I don't think you're supposed to—"

"Is this a _papaya_?!" Takeshi grabbed a watermelon from the fridge.

Why was there a fridge in the Hokage's office?!

Well, it was a small fridge. Kagami somehow coaxed the child into returning the poor, harassed watermelon into the refrigerator, convincing the child that it was not a papaya, and should not be placed in his father's blue armor. Takeshi complained that he wanted to eat it. Kagami firmly told him that "no, until Danzo-nii-chan comes back, then we can all share", because if Takeshi ate the entire thing himself – and dear Hashirama, could he eat – then he'd inevitably get sick and leave the frantic Uchiha boy in a mess of another kind.

"Kagami-kun, where's Takeshi?" asked the boy's mother, peering in the door.

"He's right here." The Uchiha hefted the blue-headed child into his arms.

"Oh, okay." Mariko smiled. "And Tobirama?"

"I have no clue." Kagami shrugged, ignoring the fact that Takeshi was pulling his hair very painfully. He'd learned, the hard way, that Takeshi had a penchant for messing with people's faces. He either pulled hair, patted cheeks, or punched noses with his stubby little hands. If a clapping noise was heard throughout the village, it was probably Takeshi slapping his father's face guard with far too much intensity and glee than he should have.

Mariko's face almost scared Kagami, which said a lot because Mariko was not scary. Not at all. She was so not-scary that if one put her in full-out armor and gave her a sword, she would've looked like a bunny trying to pick up a knife. Unsuccessfully.

But no, her face flashed murder for a second, and Kagami checked to see if he was under a genjutsu. No. Mariko couldn't use ninjutsu, and thus she must have made that face.

He feared for the Hokage's life.

(Though he had no idea what happened.)

* * *

"No running in the library! Young lady, no runnin—"

Sometimes, one must pity this unfortunate librarian who happened to live during this time period. Well, then again, the library was doomed to a plague of rowdy shinobi, from blonde gamblers to vicious red habaneros to clumsy goggled Uchihas to orange fox clowns, and, most recently, grandsons of Hokages that tripped over their extremely long scarves.

Anyway.

"TOBIRAMA!"

"Quiet in the library…please…" The librarian vaguely recognized the girl, mostly from her sapphire-blue hair. She also acknowledged the fact that the girl bowled over the Second Hokage without much hesitation, unceremoniously knocking him to the floor with a painful _thump_. The librarian sighed, recalling who this girl was, but at the same time wondering what the heck was going on here.

"What are you _doing_?!" snapped Tobirama, rolling onto his back and observing the blunette sprawled across him.

"What are _you_ doing?!" replied Mariko, glaring at him.

Team Tobirama felt immensely awkward, still sitting at the table and watching without a word.

"I'm currently being crushed by you," deadpanned the Senju, glaring.

"Aren't you _forgetting_ something?" his wife barked back at him, whilst remaining sprawled across his chest in a very casual manner. Team Tobirama uncomfortably turned back to their textbooks.

"Forgetting what?"

Mariko waited a few seconds.

"Well?" she prompted. He gave her a look that shouted _you're heavy_ before realizing what she wanted. Of course, Tobirama was a man, and thus prone to his wife's complaints, but this was something he practically refused to forget.

"You're annoying, you know that?" he sighed, pulling a carefully wrapped gift box from his back pocket. "Can't you just wait till I give it to you?"

But Mariko squealed with delight and snatched the box, leaping off of Tobirama's chest and skipping around a few bookshelves before returning with an impossibly wide grin. She wrapped her arms around Tobirama, who had just staggered to his feet, somewhat in a daze.

"You remembered!" she squeaked, burying her face into his shirt. He fondly set a hand on her shoulder and sighed again.

"Of course I remembered," he rumbled, somewhat tired.

"Remembered what?" whispered Hiruzen. He turned to Homura, but for once, Homura had no clue what was going on. Actually, Homura was usually out of the loop by preference, but usually he was able to pick up based on context clues.

The bespectacled boy shrugged.

"It's their anniversary," Koharu whispered back. The two boys nodded, and Hiruzen made a wide "o" shape with his mouth, nodding in understanding.

"Aww, that's sweet," he continued whispering, paying heed to the harried librarian scuttling in the background. _Wow, Hiruzen being thoughtful? _Koharu thought to herself, amused.

Mariko flipped open the box and found a lovely little necklace in the shape of a silver horse inside. She pulled out the entire length and found that the back of the horse pendant was encrusted with small green and blue gems. She smiled.

"You're so sweet," she gushed, causing Tobirama to flip his mildly tender expression into a disgusted glower. She went to hug him again, but he sidled away. "Hey," she protested. When he didn't answer, she added, "Don't you want _your _gift?"

He glanced at her skeptically – she grabbed his hand and led him out of the library.

Team Tobirama stared after them, probably more confused now.

"Well." Hiruzen slapped his hands on the table to emphasize the conclusion of this strange meeting.

"SHHHH," hushed the librarian. The poor woman.

"Wait, wait, wait," Koharu said, "back up for a minute."

"What? What happened?"

"What was the Tajima Plan again?"

"It was," said Homura simply, "an attempt to wipe monkeys off the face of the earth…or so we thought."

The boy blinked owlishly, eyes glinting behind his glasses.

Hiruzen and Koharu stared at him – they didn't reply.

* * *

"You're telling me he ate the entire watermelon?" Danzo said, observing the situation with far too much effort than required. At the moment, he was currently trying to clean up the Hokage's office with a number of seals learned from Mito, but they proved inadequate for job.

"Yes," replied Kagami, looking rather distressed. "When I wasn't looking."

Danzo began to wonder how a one-year-old had demolished a solid watermelon in the matter of seconds. First of all, the watermelon had not even been cut open, and secondly, the watermelon itself was almost as big as the child. Nonetheless, the remains of a watermelon and a very bloated little boy were clear of Danzo.

"He ate it in three seconds?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"How did he open it?"

At this, Kagami just shook his head and looked terrified. They both turned back to the little boy, who was currently sitting on the Hokage's chair, appearing somewhat ill.

"Danzo-nii-chan?" called the blue-haired child. "I don't feel so good."

"That's because you ate the entire watermelon," explained the older boy, scooping the child into his arms. Seriously, this child was gaining weight – and fast. Danzo would soon have to stop holding the child because he was getting so heavy.

"I thought it was a papaya," pouted Takeshi. _I like papaya!_

Kagami winced.

* * *

"Did you actually get me anything?"

"Maybe."

"You didn't." Tobirama sighed.

"You didn't _ask_ for anything," she pouted, hands on her hips.

"Yes, yes I did."

"No, you did not—" Mariko paused, and raced through her memories. Had he asked for anything? Maybe he had asked her for… "Oh." She smiled up at him demurely. "Okay."

A smirk flickered across his lips as she peeked into the Hokage's office and called – "Kagami-kun, can you look after…" she paused, seeing the destroyed watermelon remains (and ignoring them), "…Takeshi for a little while longer?"

"S-sure," replied the Uchiha, holding the baby. Danzo said nothing, only attempted to vacuum.

"Thanks!"

She popped back out of the doorway, grabbed Tobirama's hand, and they half ran half giggled – no, that wasn't quite right, Tobirama didn't giggle – back to the Senju complex. Mariko promptly pulled Tobirama down to her level and smashed her lips against his, and he wrapped his arms around her.

She led him to the bedroom.

* * *

"HE DID NOT JUST DO THAT."

Danzo never raised his voice. Never. At the sound of Danzo yelling, Team Tobirama sprinted up the long flight of stairs – textbooks and all weighing them down – and burst into the office as fast as possible. Danzo, the picture of calmness, sat at the Hokage's desk, looking as if nothing had happened.

"Wait…" Hiruzen pointed at Danzo. "Were you yelling just now?"

"Yes."

But Danzo looked so…serene?

"At Kagami," he added, jerking a thumb towards the poor Uchiha.

"I didn't mean to," whispered the poor boy, cowering. He cradled Takeshi to his chest – the baby had somehow digested the watermelon in record time, and then proceeded to swallow chunks of papaya like a madman...mad-baby.

"You bought the papaya!" shouted Danzo.

This completely and utterly confused Hiruzen, because while his best friend was shouting, the facial expressions and the words didn't quite match up. Danzo continued to scold Kagami, but the Shimura's face was completely neutral. The power this young man had over his face was terrifying – to Hiruzen, at least.

"So, what did Takeshi just not do?" asked Hiruzen.

"That question made no sense," Koharu hissed under her breath.

"He just ate a watermelon," Kagami explained, pointing at the watermelon rinds he'd been too distracted to clean up (while Danzo assessed he situation without much success), "and now he just ate this papaya that I bought him."

"Why did you buy the papaya in the first place?" deadpanned Homura, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I DON'T KNOW," wailed Kagami.

"That's what I was asking," Danzo sighed, resuming his vacuum duties; Koharu failed to see how vacuuming the Hokage's ugly rug (it was a Senju momma heirloom, Hashirama had claimed) was going to help clean up the mushy watermelon-papaya hurricane disaster in the middle of the room. Then again, she supposed it was befitting for the son of a Hurricane heiress, albeit a short, rather mild bunny heiress.

"Where is Tobirama-sensei anyway?" asked Hiruzen.

"Please don't ask me that question," whimpered Kagami. "I don't want to die. Not yet."

"Your own nephew would kill you," hissed Koharu. "You're too sweet."

Everyone stared at Koharu for a few moments.

"Soft," she corrected. "I meant you're too soft for a ninja."

"Sure," drawled Hiruzen, a smirk lighting up his face. Koharu attempted to punch him, but it didn't connect successfully.

"No, but seriously," Hiruzen insisted. "Where is he?"

"Pillow-time," replied Danzo, with the utmost seriousness one could muster. Koharu wasn't sure if she should hide her face – was she blushing? No, she wasn't…hopefully – or just hit Danzo, because Danzo was never so skewed.

Hiruzen burst out laughing.

"I don't want to die," repeated Kagami, grabbing Takeshi and hiding in the corner. "You and I wanna live, right?"

Takeshi giggled.

"I wanna," he babbled.

Kagami vaguely wondered if the boy simply chose to speak in babble-sentences when he felt like it; he was certainly capable of stringing together more complex, completed phrases.

"I wanna papaya gooses," continued the boy.

Kagami huddled under the Hokage's desk, cradling the boy to his chest.

"You're adorable, you know that?" The Uchiha smiled. "Okay, we're gonna hide here till the storm's over, okay?"

"Rain?"

"Yeah, rain." Kagami didn't mind that Takeshi tugged at his hair, and then his ear, and then at his nose.

"Gagami-nii-chan?"

"What's up, buddy?"

At this point, the rest of the young shinobi were arguing over what the heck "pillow-time" was supposed to mean, but now there was an awkward moment of complete silence where no one could come up with any sort of valid argument to refute the other side. And thus, they listened to Kagami's baby-talk conversation with the blunet boy.

"Takeshi wants a baby sister."

Kagami paled, just a little, before laughing nervously.

Hiruzen yelled:

"PILLOW-TIME!"

* * *

"Saru-nii-chan, I don't think that really makes sense."

"But you see, Takeshi, it makes _a lot_ of sense." Hiruzen, toting a small Tsunade, wiggled his eyebrows at the young man. Takeshi, now about thirteen, glanced at the monkey skeptically.

"I'm not so sure…"

"Well. I am. I was there." Hiruzen smiled at the boy, ruffled his hair – Takeshi attempted to dodge away from this attack on his blue shagginess – and walked away, still toting Tsunade.

"_Takeshi_," came a voice. "You there?"

* * *

"Yeah, Kori. Coming."

"Mom says you have to do the dishes tonight."

Takeshi ignored this part of the conversation and trailed after his sister, meandering towards the Senju complex slowly. Just as his hair was a shiny, sapphire blue, hers was an icy white mountaintop. It was quite interesting, the dynamic of colors between these two siblings. Neither carried on their mother's green eyes, but one of them had her hair. Kori just looked like Tobirama, mostly, though she had a softness – one that she usually hid behind a mask of impatience – that resembled Mariko.

"Hey, Takeshi, you listening?"

"Uh huh."

"What did I just say?" Kori turned her scarlet eyes on him, and looked fearsomely similar to their father. On a bad day. Takeshi responded with a Mariko-like pout, round eyes begging for forgiveness.

"Um. We have papaya in the fridge?"

Kori was not sure if she should smack her brother or just sigh.

"Sure, Takeshi. We have papaya." She rolled her eyes.

He grinned.

* * *

The Papaya has joined the ranks with Obitopede and Tobi's eyehole...

(Obitopede's got a run for its money...)

Congrats! You have surpassed the ranks of chocolate penguins and...I don't even know.

Tell me whatchu thinkkkk.

...What is writing, lol.


	44. A Restaurant and a Hair Salon

First of all... MINATO!

Second of all... GO CHECK OUT MARIKO'S ASK PAGE on deviantART! (link on my profile)

Third of all... I don't know what this is... lol.

Fourth of all... STATE CHAMPPPP! (giggles nervously)

Fifthly... I still don't know what this chapter is, lol. Went differently than I originally planned. Meh. (Then again, there was no plan in the first place...)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto because suddenly Kakashi talks a lot, and Obito doesn't have a heart, and Rin was the jinchuuriki of the-whaaaat.

**Note: **Warning - messed up timeline and randomness ahead!

* * *

**Chapter 44: ****A Restaurant and a Hair Salon**

Tobirama was so _tired_ of holding Takeshi's hand, simply because the boy would not stop moving.

Ever.

The child was nearly seven years old, overly happy on Academy Entrance Day, and the fact that he was bouncier and more excitable than his mother was just plain annoying. Nonetheless, the Second Hokage found himself heading down the stairs of the Hokage Tower to the Academy, ready to welcome the new, incoming batch of little children, his own enrolled son on his arm.

"Papa," said Takeshi excitedly, "Will I be a boba?"

_Will I be a boba._

"You'll be a fine shinobi, son," replied Tobirama flatly, trying not to get irritated at Takeshi's tendency to pull his sleeve down heavily. The boy burrowed his head of blue hair, ruffled fondly by his mother from its morning nest, into his father's side and giggled. No matter what age he was, Takeshi was always a toddler at heart.

"Papa," he repeated.

"Yes?"

"What if I dun wanna be a boba?"

"If you do not wish to take the path of the shinobi, I will not force you," Tobirama sighed, glancing down at the boy.

"And if I wanna be a boba?"

"Then I am sure you'll become the finest shinobi in your class," his father reassured him, patting the familiar blue bobble of hair. Takeshi smiled a smile that was so much like Mariko that he was not quite sure what to do — the overwhelming cuteness of this smile was too bright and intense for him.

"Then why is Mommy not a boba?"

"Mommy didn't come from a shinobi background," Tobirama attempted to explain, pushing the door open so that the boy could walk through. Takeshi bounced in the direction of the Academy, looking overly eager.

"Aren't girl bobas called noisy-cheese?"

Tobirama was not sure if his son was seven years old or three.

"Yes, the women are called kunoichi," Tobirama answered hesitantly.

"They _are_ nosy. I'm not sure they smell like cheese, though," Takeshi mused to himself, squeezing Tobirama's hand and giggling. (A subtle pigeon choir assembled itself as they meandered their way to the new ninja school.) "Kori smells like cheese."

Tobirama wanted to hit his head against a wall. Meanwhile, someone snorted, and Takeshi dove behind Tobirama's leg in fright. Lo and behold, it was the mighty Boogieman, Sarutobi Hiruzen, stifling his laughter with the back of his hand. The white-haired Senju glared at his student, but it did little to fend off the brazen, young monkey. Instead, it lured the fire-breathing chimp a little closer, scaring the living daylights out of poor Takeshi.

"Hey, Takeshi, you're gonna have to learn to be brave if you want to be a shinobi," Hiruzen said, peering around Tobirama to see the blue-haired boy.

"I wanna be the Sunkage," retorted Takeshi, a snarky scowl scrunching up his nose, "not a boogie-boba like Uncle Saru." The blue boy had gained enough confidence to actually speak to Hiruzen, but unfortunately for the young monkey, all of those words were mostly Tobirama-style insults. In fact, Takeshi would grow up to be the sweetest boy in all of Konoha, save his streak of witticisms that he'd inherited from his father. (His sister, on the other hand, would be the sharpest, snappiest girl in the Academy, with a soft spot for cute things and shiny gems.)

_Boogie-boba_. Tobirama chuckled, and supposed that he'd have to add that one to the list.

"I'm a jounin, thank you very much!" sputtered Hiruzen, hands on his hips.

"You're a no-nin," replied Takeshi.

"Tobirama-sensei, your son is—"

"My son is what?" challenged the Senju, quirking a brow at his student. Hiruzen shut up and sighed.

"Tobirama?" came a shrill, dainty voice. Of course, the mother, nagging forever and ever. But, then again, that was what mothers did, and now that she was one, Mariko would tail her husband with complaints until the Juubi resurrected. "Are you still here? You two are going to be _late_!"

Tobirama sighed and turned to glare at her, the way he always did. And then, she shot him one of those incredibly adorable, soft pouts that had him melting on the inside. His outside, however, remained completely frozen, an ice statue to keep him standing because his insides were cooing as loudly as the pigeon choir. "What," he snapped.

"You're going to be _late_," she repeated, annoyed now. The blunette stomped over, revealing a five-year-old Kori dawdling behind her skirts. The little girl whose curtain of snow-white hair practically covered her face squeaked and latched onto her busy mother again. When Kori spied Hiruzen staring at them, her face morphed into a glare so mighty that Tobirama would have flinched.

"Sensei, why do your kids hate me?" Hiruzen asked out of the blue.

"Figure it out yourself, Saru."

"I mean, seriously. This one," Hiruzen said, gesturing to Takeshi, "is like the sweetest thing in the world, except that he hates me." He glanced at Kori. "While that one is vicious, but you seem to think she's cute."

"Did you just call my daughter vicious?" hissed Mariko.

Hiruzen, who had more than a head on Mariko, cringed.

"No-nin," laughed Takeshi from his father's side as his blue-haired mother stalked up to Hiruzen, lips set and arms folded.

"Sensei," whimpered Hiruzen. "Why is your family so angry today?"

Tobirama sighed.

"I'd like to know why too, Saru."

Mariko turned on Tobirama. He silently cringed.

* * *

"You'll be a chuunin for the rest of your life. Forever. The eternal chuunin." "At least I'm not an eternal genin."

"Are you insulting Kousuke-nii-san?"

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"You are."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"You are—"

"Will you two just be quiet?!" snapped their mother, slamming a hefty pot of soup between the two of them. The girl obediently closed her mouth, and her brother followed suit. The pair of siblings cautiously eyed the harried blunette bustle around the table, followed by a rather lethargic Mito and a seriously lazy Second Hokage.

Mito, understandably, was tired after an entire day of caring for baby Tsunade.

Tobirama, it seemed, was just tired of his paperwork. Typical.

Mariko, lastly, was just annoyed at her children's squabbling, a constant chatter to their dinnertime conversation. Kori, who had caught up to her older brother and attained the status of chuunin, was currently making fun of her "eternal chuunin onii-chan" who did not excel as much in ninja arts.

"At least you can walk on water," Tobirama stated flatly. Mariko threatened to drop the pot on him, but the Second Hokage merely waved her off dismissively.

"Dad," Kori snorted in the same, dry tone, "You're awful."

"You're all on your mother's side, aren't you?" Tobirama sighed, dodging a spoon that swung precariously near his face. Mito, somewhat exhausted in her laid back position, snorted at this.

"That's because the mother of every household is the most fearsome figure of all," she declared, straightening and peering at her brother-in-law, amused. At this, Mariko smugly slapped down silverware for everybody, nearly stabbing Tobirama with the ladle for the soup. The Senju, unsure of how a round utensil could harm him, found out the hard way when his spouse nearly whipped hot soup at him.

"Well, that's because you always yell at us," Takeshi said.

"I do _not_ yell at you," replied Tobirama.

"I mean," Takeshi mended, "to say that you always seem annoyed with us."

_My family is talking about its issues_, Mariko thought in wonder. _This never happens…_

"Your father is very busy," she told her children.

"But he always tells us 'Your mother will skin your hides if you don't do this and that and blah, blah, blah' and stuff," protested Takeshi. Mariko turned to look at Tobirama, who simply shrugged and casually slung an arm around her waist. The blunette wiggled her way out of his grip and sat down across from him, ignoring the foot that teasingly brushed her shin. "And he also thinks he's always right," Takeshi added, nodding thoughtfully.

"I am," growled Tobirama. At this, Mito snorted again. She looked like she was about to burst into laughter, but was simply too tired to spare the effort. The Uzumaki shook her head and attempted to change the subject.

"Has anyone seen that one scroll of mine? You know, the one that says _Fuuton style_ on it?" she mentioned, waving her spoon casually. Takeshi, in an incredible feat of nonchalance, shook his head with a rather blank expression. Kori smirked, because usually his fairly tanned complexion would have paled considerably in horror. Proudly, she folded her arms and watched her careful nonverbal body language training take effect. The girl had taught her brother the secrets to shinobi-like expressions.

But, of course, Mito was far more perceptive than the average Saru, and she caught on immediately.

"Who has it?" she asked.

"Who has what?" Takeshi blurted back, so innocently that no one could tell if he was faking it or genuinely curious, because it was his nature to be so adorable (even at twelve).

"The scroll," drawled Mito dryly, pursing her lips.

"What scroll?"

"Takeshi," muttered Tobirama, glaring at his son. The blue-haired boy shot his father a look so helpless and confused – again, was he faking it, or not? – that Tobirama was befuddled for a moment.

"Why do we call Uncle Saru our _uncle_ if we don't call anyone else our uncle?" Kori suddenly broke in. "I mean, we call his teammates Koharu-nee and Homura-nii."

"Saru's an old man," replied Tobirama gruffly, seeming to completely forget that they were supposed to be on the subject of Mito's scroll. He and his children had the tendency to change subjects without much hesitation; one minute, they were discussing ambush strategies during a mission in Iwa, and the next, it was something about ducks eating papayas with senbon needles for toothpicks.

"He's an old man," echoed Mariko, frowning. "Really, now. Are you sure _you_ aren't the old man?"

"I'm not old," said the Senju defensively.

"My _scroll_," insisted Mito, rubbing her forehead.

"Uncle Saru has it."

"Danzo-nii has it."

Both Takeshi and Kori turned to face each other, eyes wide.

"No, we agreed on—what do you mean, Danzo-nii has it?!"

"I thought we said that he did!"

"Does he really?!"

"I don't know, I thought you knew!"

"I thought _you_ knew!"

Mito wanted to pull her hair out.

* * *

"Hey, watch where you're goin', old geezer!" growled the shinobi, completely ignoring the fact that he'd been the one careless enough to bump into a defenseless, elderly man humbly shuffling his way down a busy market street. "Who do ya think you are?"

"I'm simply an old man who owns a restaurant and likes to visit his cousin's daughter every once in a while," replied the man, still handsome with sparkling garnet eyes through the worn wrinkles of his age. He had creases by his eyes; he was a man who smiled a lot.

"Watch where you're going," snapped the uncouth young shinobi, "us _shinobi_ have a lot to contribute to society!"

"Young man," said the old one, "I come from a time where shinobi _built_ this current village you have now. My father would have called you the useless one."

Every once in a while, besides visiting family members, this lovely old man liked to retort with a witty comment or two. He was the friendliest old man, the sweet manager of the foreign cuisine restaurant down the street, growing in popularity. There was bound to be a dish that one liked in that restaurant – most of Konoha would agree.

"Excuse me?" said the shinobi, growling. He whipped round and stepped up to the older man. "Well, your father can go rot in hell and disappear."

"First of all," chuckled the old man. "My father has been through hell and back."

"Well then—"

"Secondly, he is forever immortalized on Hokage Mountain. I doubt you can do anything about that, child." Smugly, the old man whose hair still maintained a fine shade of blue mixed with slate and silver, folded his arms and jutted his chin out at the young man.

The shinobi was quiet.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I was going to send a message from my cousin's daughter, the Hokage, to Uncle Saru's family."

Takeshi looked over the broad-shouldered teen in front of him.

"Child, you may consider a haircut. My sister is a hair stylist in her retirement."

The shinobi stared at him blankly.

"Now, don't give me that face, you've plenty of time to consider the fact that you've met the Second Hokage's son. Go along, now."

He would forever hold the rights to boast about his title, even if he only felt the need to do so in his old age.

* * *

"I swear on my white hair that I saw him."

"My hair's going white too."

"Nonsense, your hair is as blue as ever." Kori rolled her eyes, and Konohamaru yelped as the woman nearly took off his ear with the scissors.

"Watch it, Kori, you're going to take off little Saru's ears," muttered Takeshi, folding his arms and watching his sister cut the genin's hair. Even though she had taken on many years, Kori was still elegant and slim, holding herself with an air of grace and dignity. Her long, silver hair was swept up neatly into a bun, held in place with a pin that once belonged to Koharu.

"He's got big ears," Kori said, pinching the boy's cheek. Konohamaru giggled, and then winced, and his teammates snorted in the background, laughing. Kori added, "But I _did_ see him."

"Stop dreaming, sister. We're at war – we must focus on the now."

Takeshi's words nearly wiped the smiles from the children's faces, and he was regretful that he'd said them. Konohamaru, in particular, sank into his seat and looked dejected. Too young to be part of the war effort, he could only stay at home and defend the village the best he could.

"Little Saru," Takeshi said. The boy perked up upon hearing his name. "You and the Corps," said the old man, gesturing to Team Ebisu, "should come to the restaurant tonight. Bring some friends, it's on the house."

"Really?!" exclaimed Konohamaru, jerking to enthusiastically that he nearly had his ear taken off a second time.

"Sure thing," Takeshi said, patting the boy's arm. "I'm going to go prepare you kids a fine meal." He glanced at Kori. "Sister, don't forget to buy some flowers, all right?"

"Thank you, Takeshi."

He was surprised then; she hardly ever thanked him these days. But the look in her eyes told him simply what he already knew – it was not as if she had anything better to do. She had no children to care for, since they'd died long ago, only a granddaughter who bore a striking resemblance to their mother and wasn't too shabby at throwing a kunai. Takeshi himself was not a fan of the ninja life, having watched his wife and children die and forever hating Kumo without a real reason save a bitter wish for revenge. Nonetheless, he smiled and touched her shoulder lightly, sauntering out of the beauty salon and down the street.

A flutter.

The patter of rain, familiar yet not. He knew this feeling like the back of his hand, yet it was such a nostalgic sensation that he began to doubt its presence. It was like a raindrop, slipping off of a maple leaf and lightly pinging in a steady rhythm onto the pavement. Being held in someone's arms and realizing that _he was home, he was home_, and excitedly going for the door. Always accompanied by the scent of fresh air and rain and sometimes the sweet green tea of his mother.

Takeshi turned on his heel and ran. He may have been getting along in his years, but there were some things that the son of the Second would not lose – strength and life.

For a moment, he feared it was just his imagination, just Kori's words getting to his head. He felt so many presences, familiar yet not, flooding into his relatively dormant chakra system naturally. He did not mean to sense them; they came willingly.

One was a forest, a mighty tree that rooted itself within the boundaries of his sensory abilities. The second was the rainfall, so familiar and achingly close that Takeshi could almost reach out and touch it. The third was a familiar face, a steady boulder as great as a mountain. It evoked laughter and pain and fear and love, and a hearty chuckle that one simply could not forget. The fourth was a young man, a flash of lightning that Takeshi had not witnessed for 16 years.

He looked up at Mount Hokage, and perched on their own heads, the four deceased Hokage.

His father held up a hand, silently. Takeshi could almost hear the armor clink and the wind rustle through his father's fur collar.

And then they were gone.

* * *

_He felt a million roving presences, each one a citizen of a Konoha sunk into the earth and in the process of rebuilding. He'd felt a flash of familiarity, and turned to see a woman staring at him. But the group was swift, he and Hashirama at the front, and they were gone within a second. He realized who the woman was, and felt a warmth creep into his bones, into the chilled curse of Edo Tensei. _

_ And then, as Hashirama declared their departure and they each leapt onto their respective heads, a blurred sensation. _

_ It was a hand, sore and stiff from lack of use, the extent of a former shinobi who could have been the greatest sensory nin in all of Konoha, had he chosen that path. Just like his father._

_ Tobirama looked down, and the head of blue hair, far, far away, tugged at his heart so hard that he suddenly remembered that it was there. Hidden in a false body after years of supposedly peaceful death, his heart reemerged. He knew, now, that this was a world where so many did not exist anymore. He could not sense the fiery aura of Mito, nor any of the brooding Uchiha clan members._

_ Most of all, _her_ presence was not alive, only the memory. It saddened him greatly, to see her son – their son – looking up at him with a lost, bewildered expression on his face. He held up his hand in a silent greeting, but also a subtle farewell._

_ "Let's fly!" exclaimed Hashirama, overly enthusiastic as was usual._

_ Hardly a second passed, and Tobirama's hand of chakra gripped his son's firmly, and then they vanished._

* * *

The title was meant to have no real effect, lol.

That, and I don't know, I just don't know...welcome to OC-world!

/shot

Well, that was depressing, ne? No? Okay. We're just all waiting for next week's Kishi troll! I mean...Hokages' arrival!


	45. Running Fox

**IMPORTANT: DO NOT COPY/REPOST/CLAIM THIS STORY AS YOUR OWN ON A DIFFERENT SITE!**

**Many thanks to ****_Giraffadon _****for notifying me of the copycat and helping me report that person.**

**IF YOU SEE THIS**

**GET'EM FOR ME! **

* * *

Hello hello! Long time no update! I've been busy, what with finals and now summer school (bleghh)...

But HERE I AM!. . . . . yes.

I just leapt headfirst into the Avatar: The Last Airbender and Korra fandoms, so I'm going crazy with all this bending stuffs.

ANYWAY. This chapter probably will make no sense whatsoever! It popped out as I was planning for **Emeralds**, which I'm kind of stuck on.

BUT BESIDES THAT

SEE MARIKO

there's lots of her on my dA ~

...that, and this will likely make no sense, but read on! I promise, more funnies will come later. (If you read **Emeralds**, you probably know some more characters and backgrounds...and you'll get some of the stuff, but even so... trolololol)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto, BECAUSE TOBIRAMA WHERE IS HE.

/kindofhypercanyoutell

* * *

**Chapter 45: ****Running Fox**

Popsicles were sweet to the point where she thought she could paint some onto Danzo's face and make him smile. But as much as she tried, she could not even put the simplest smile onto her own face. It seemed pitiful that even Danzo's meager attempt to cheer her up — _flowers for Tobirama-sama's beloved_ — would not even suffice. Her mood was one that constantly rolled up and down, and for the time being, it remained low, with a long, gloomy stride that heavily scraped against the ground.

Her sister had dropped by, if that was anything to be mentioned. Mariko supposed that it was the most important thing that should be mentioned, for around this time, Sumiko tended to wander towards Konoha. If her yearly migrations were anything to go by, cycles of travel that looped the mainland and the islands, then her arrival in Konoha was the source of Mariko's lack of a smile. Hiruzen, in fact, had described her as "Mariko turned upside down". Smile, and everything.

Yesterday, she'd walked around with Sumiko, and her sister had seemed genuinely happy. Or, as happy as had been in a long time. A few familiar faces followed her, and the ring on her finger was something Mariko chose not to mention, for by nightfall, Sumiko was frowning and stowing it away with some obviously concerning issue preoccupying her thoughts. It was hard to miss that ring; it was large, a large crystal that she slipped over her ring finger.

And then, within the course of a day and a morning, Sumiko had slipped on her cloak and packed her traveling bag. She was gone without much celebration, taking to the west along a wavering trail to Suna's border. Mariko knew that her sister tried to take a different route every year — she had yet to set foot on the same path to the west, her only matching points being the destinations she aimed for.

Holding the melting popsicle in her hand, sitting on the bench with only a half-wilted bouquet of flowers to keep her company, Mariko stared into the lamp's eerie pool of light. Konoha's dusk had pulled a curtain of waking stars into the oncoming night, and the streetlamps were flickering to life, one by one.

"Are you going to eat that?"

Hardly looking up, she handed the uneaten sweet to him, even though she knew he wasn't fond of sweets. But he took it anyway, despite the irritating stickiness melting down the side.

"I'll eat half if you eat half."

"I don't want it."

He bit off a piece of the popsicle, melting orange and sloshed ice. Neatly, he thumbed away a drip from his chin and held it back out to her.

"I _don't want it._"

"It'll make you feel better. Sugar never fails my Shorty," he replied, wiggling the popsicle as the orange sugar-water dripped down his hand and onto hers. Mariko lifted her hands, neatly folded in front of her, and took his wrist. If only to satisfy him, she took a bite of the popsicle. He smirked when the entire thing just gave up on itself and melted into a sorry glop of mush that plopped onto her skirt.

"See what you did?!" Mariko exclaimed, dismayed.

"You're the one that didn't eat it." He deftly whipped a tissue from his pocket and offered it. Mariko cleaned up the mess as best she could, but the lingering stickiness bothered her to no end.

"Tobirama, I just want to be left alone."

"I'm sure." The white-haired Senju lounged back on the bench, staring at the alley cat that slunk by the lamppost.

Knowing that he wouldn't be leaving any time soon, Mariko stood and stormed away, unsure of where she was going and why she was so angry. Was she angry?

_No, I'm not angry. Then what am I? Sad?_

She couldn't place the feeling; she paused.

"Shorty, if you can't decide where to go, sit back down." He was bored, watching her pace back and forth. Tobirama, who usually would have soured at the sugary mess, featured a blank face and a surprisingly well-controlled temper.

Mariko, at a loss, returned and plunked herself down unceremoniously.

"Do you want to visit him?"

"He's not here," she replied.

"My younger brothers aren't here either. Buried, I mean. But," Tobirama continued, standing and studying his sticky hand with distaste before looking back to the blunette, "we can still visit them anywhere, anytime."

Mariko shook her head.

"Shorty, look at me."

She didn't resist when his hand — though sticky with what used to be her sad popsicle — came up to cup her face, tilting her chin up.

"He will always be with us, even if he isn't here physically."

"I know that."

"Do you?"

* * *

Home was Konoha, but home was also Hurricane. Except sometimes, the metallic glaze over Sumiko's eyes at dinner proved to be too much — for everybody. Katsurou, who often just stood outside and stared at the moon, could be found on a secluded balcony, running a hand through the silky coat of one of the sharp-eyed hunting dogs. And Mariko's oldest brother, Ryouichi, simply briefly touched the crest of black eagle's feathers that were sewn to the shoulder of his jacket, deep in thought and closed from the world.

These reunions were quieter now, with weak attempts to liven the spirit by the royals themselves. To be honest, Mariko thought they were getting better recently. The Lady Yuuna was never one for boredom, and she could make anyone smile, even the gloomier subjects of the High Court. Mito herself graced Hurricane with her presence, once in a while tugging along Hashirama. To the village's terror, the Hokage, his brother, and practically his entire family would take a big vacation to the lovely island, leaving Konoha in the hands of a startled Sarutobi Sasuke.

"Is it traditional," Hashirama once asked, "to have placeholders for…you know?"

He gestured to the empty seat, in front of which a full set of dinnerware was placed.

"I think so," replied Mito, nodding. "The Uzumaki do the same thing for the more recently deceased. If tradition has not changed, they will continue for the next ten years."

"Ten years is a long time," muttered Tobirama, sitting beside his sister-in-law. "Is it a grieving period?"

"I'm not sure, it's a little different here," murmured Mito, quickly peeking over at Mariko, who had been silent for the entire meal.

Then, suddenly, she blurted:

"Sumi, we should go on a hunt tomorrow."

The older woman turned and stared at her little sister. There was an awkward silence, a queasy pause, and then she responded, "Sure," before casting a wary glance at all of the Senju. She looked to Katsurou, but the Second Prince was rubbing his eyes, appearing fatigued. His wife rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, whispering something, a question. When Sumiko turned to their eldest brother, Ryouichi did not respond. It wasn't like he could make a face and shrug, or spit out some witty remark to make her smile. Even if he did, she probably wouldn't smile anyway.

"The ten years," said an elderly woman somewhat close to Hashirama, overhearing their conversation, "is for the Emerald Eagle to guide the soul up to the heavens, a path which takes ten years to cross. The family simply provides food and prayers to help him until he reaches that place."

Hashirama nodded in understanding, thinking it a very loyal, devoted practice.

"Even if he is not from Hurricane?" asked Mito softly.

"But he was," replied the woman. "He was family. He _is_ family."

Tobirama looked from the woman, to Sumiko, to Mariko. Then, to his brother and to Mito, he observed the mood. He watched as Hashirama, in all his casual charm and goofiness, riled the mood of all the dinner guests and managed to provoke a sudden smile from the most melancholy princes and princesses.

Such was Hashirama's gift.

* * *

"Here?" Mariko gestured to the empty patch of grass encircled by a copse of trees, just outside of the cemetery.

"Here is fine," Tobirama answered. He set up a slab of simple, unmarked stone, and lit three small candles before it. "A placeholder."

She glanced up at him and offered a smile.

* * *

The girl was no longer a girl, and the boy no longer a boy. The girl had learned to control her temper and her stubbornness, and the boy had long since shed his child's behavior for he was now an adult. But still, they shared dinner with their mother, with their Uncle Saru and their Uncle Danzo, with Aunt Mito and even little Tsu. They went to dinner whenever their mother longed for their company, faithfully returning and never forgetting the two empty seats that they shooed the other guests from sitting in. One with a beautifully carved set of chopsticks from the finest wood, and the other with a glass cup blown the finest blue hue.

The wooden set disappeared early on, but for the next ten years, they grew up and watched until Takeshi's children were born, and then the placeholder disappeared.

* * *

Tobirama sat next to her in complete silence, watching her stare at the quivering candles.

"What are you thinking of?"

"I'm not sure," she answered, knees tucked to her chest. "I often wonder what would have happened if he hadn't come here. I wonder what would have happened if Sumi hadn't come here. Then—"

He cut her off before her train of thought could finish.

"It's not your fault, Mariko. Nothing is your fault."

"I think it was. I wonder—" This time, the little blunette couldn't finish on her own. She risked a glance at him; she hoped she had not hurt him in anyway.

"What would have happened if you'd never come?" He stated it simply, in understanding.

"He would be alive. They'd be happy."

"And would you? If you'd never met me."

"I'd never intended to marry, I was forced—" Abruptly cutting herself off, Mariko's expressionless mask turned into one of frustration. "Why are you asking me this?! Doesn't it hurt you?!"

He only leaned down and kissed her forehead, brushing a strand of hair away from her cheek.

"Think about it the other way around. I would have been fine, too. We would both have been perfectly content never meeting."

"But I'm glad we did."

"Of course Shorty, who wouldn't be glad to meet me?" He received a harsh elbow in the ribs, but at least a smile came with it. Tobirama reached for her hand, and Mariko willingly laced her fingers through his. "You're so cheesy," he snorted, squeezing her hand when she leaned against him.

"Are you sure _I'm_ the cheesy one?" she taunted, rolling her eyes. Then, more softly, "He would have enjoyed spending more time with us. You two almost became good friends."

"I think, in the end," Tobirama sighed, "we _were_ good friends. That's all I would ever need to know."

"Then why do I feel guilty?"

"That's not he would want us to feel."

"You're not really answering the question." Mariko straightened and stared at the Senju, waiting for his answer.

"Everyone," Tobirama said carefully, "wishes to be able to change what has happened. But he loved you, and Sumi, and Katsurou. You all were his family, and for you to go on happily would be his ultimate wish."

"Tobirama, you—"

"Shorty, we live in a world of warring shinobi. The true measure of a shinobi is not how he lives, but how he dies," Tobirama told her. "He was a great man."

"He was," agreed Mariko, gazing into the dancing flames again. She looked up at Tobirama again. "Do you think Sumiko will come back?"

"She will."

"How do you know?"

Tobirama nodded towards the flames, the little swirls of light dancing on their wax candles, illuminating the dull slab of stone in the darkening night.

"He will tell you."

* * *

Mysterious, much? Yes, this chapter was mostly me just spitting out random thoughts...

If you read **Emeralds**, you will know some more characters...

But you still won't know what's going on, lol.

YOU'LL SEE :'D (waitthatshouldbeafrownD:)


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